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sometimes i think about how in 2012, when andrew garfield was asked which avenger peter would like most he said ‘idk but he’d hate tony stark, too arrogant, ethics are dubious, and peter’s a man of the people, peter’s the working class hero’

and how andrew got dropped from the franchise bc he refused to shut up and ‘bow down to homophobia’, and said multiple times that peter should be bi

and how in response to those things, marvel changed the contracts so all future incarnations of peter parker had to be caucasian and heterosexual. and then they made mcu spidey very much reliant on tony stark

which is a long winded way of saying that andrew garfield was the realest peter we ever had, and how angry it makes me the way that marvel absolutely shat on him and went out of their way to go against what he tried to fight for… and that there is a huge smugness in me that despite all of that, marvel couldn’t quash people’s love for andrew and they needed him and tobey for NWH, and that in the run up to mcu spidey 3, what i see trending every day on twitter is WHERE IS ANDREW GARFIELD and yk what it’s what he fucking deserves

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HOLY FUCK WHAT THE HELL

Here is the Harold and Jude’s “my sweetheart” scene if anybody is looking for it, i thought this song would fit Jude’s inner thoughts well

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Every day I thank my past self for (correctly) choosing Louis. 

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sorry for being a bad person but I hate hearing about anyone’s boyfriend

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The love affair between Evelyn Hugo and Celia St. James spanned for 41 years.

They first met on the set of Little Women in 1959 when Evelyn was 21 and Celia was 19/20.

They were together for about 3 years until they had their 1st breakup in 1962. Evelyn was 24 and Celia was 23.

They spent 5 years apart until in 1967, they reunited inside a bathroom at the Academy Awards. Evelyn was 29 and Celia was 28.

They were together for 9 years until they had their 2nd breakup in 1976. Evelyn was 38 and Celia was 37.

This time, they spend 12 years apart until in 1988, they reconnect through letters before once again reuniting and rekindling their love. Evelyn was 50 and Celia was 49.

They manage to get back the decade and 2 years they lost as they spend 12 years together until Celia’s death in 2000. Evelyn was 62 and Celia was 61.

Evelyn and Celia spent a total of 24 years together and 17 years apart, nonconsecutive.

But the two loved each other all throughout the 41 years. Not once did they stop loving the other. Although in the end they express their regret of losing all that time, what’s important is that their hearts always remained with one another.

They always managed to find their way back to each other.

And in the end, they were able to spend their last years together as wives.

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when I finished reading I realized that ...

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“Please never forget that the sun rises and sets with your smile.”

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Evelyn and Celia cause i’m a sucker for matching sets

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Jasmine Warga, My Heart and Other Black Holes

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the postman / the happy years

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today’s mood: want to kiss louis tomlinson’s big brain for whatever world he has created in his head with this whole ‘369’ thing going on. i do not understand any theory but you go girl!

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so while walls is a breakup song, i could never totally figure out what louis meant by "i watched them all come falling down for you". then it hit me today that he is singing about how he watched as all the walls fell down for the person who walked away from him and that person only, but not for him. because next, he sings "these high walls, they came up short; now i stand taller than them all", which basically means to me that the walls did NOT fall down for him, but even so, now he has overcome them. that in the end, the walls did not stop him, they didn't break his soul.

also not to mention these lines in the first verse, "the day you walked away and took the higher ground, was the day that i became the man that i am now", clearly stating how the ex got away to the "higher ground" (usually a metaphor for a safer place, where the walls would not be high since the ex themself was on higher ground and thus the obstacles were obsolete to them) and left louis alone ("waking up alone"). and this turn of events changed who louis was before into the man he had to become now to move forward ("he were a lot sweeter").

in the second verse, he sings how "nothing makes you hurt like hurtin' who you love; and no amount of words will ever be enough", (which is a sweet, sweet lead up to this part of the bridge too=> "oh, oh"). here, he seems to acknowledge some hurtful conflicts that might've happened during the relationship but concludes that now, no matter what the other person would say, it can never be enough, as -"i looked you in the eyes, saw that i was lost; for every question "why", you were my 'because'". louis saw that to his ex-partner, he was lost, and did not matter anymore; but for louis, his (ex)partner was still the answer to all of his questions, still his choice. this revelation probably also helped himto "wake up" further from the relationship and to start to let it go.

louis watched these walls fall away easily for the ex while for him, they were still obstacles. this is why the bridge seems even more "bittersweet" in retrospect. like how i mentioned here, he directly called out that person through his "thank you for what you did to me", and then finishes with "i hope that one day i'll see you and you'll say to me, 'oh, oh'". he omitted what he wants to hear presumably because it has already been done, the walls have been built, it cannot be reversed. so whatever he wants that person to say to him wouldn't even matter in the long run and thus isn't even worth mentioning.

and the last line's callback to the first line is so genius since in the first verse, it might be the first time louis is waking up alone, disoriented and taking in his surroundings, not fully knowing what has happened. he sees that all that is left of his relationship is simply a cupboard full of clothes (clothes usually being everyday mundane things, but here they become heavy, associated with that ex and all the events that transpired, the cupboard thus full of bittersweet memories and unpleasant baggage). while the last "nothing wakes you up..." is when he knows everything. he lived through it all and came out on the other side. he might be waking up alone, but he stood his ground and persevered. which is why its his final word.

walls, to me, has always stood out as such a complex song. its so melodically soothing and beautiful but the lyrics have me in shambles. it is so so layered and yet so cohesive and meaningful. which is also why it seems so fucking apt as the album title too. it holds oceans worth of meanings in less than 4 minutes.

this got wayy too long than expected, but if you read it all, then thank you so much!!

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my sister just sent me the best tweet

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sir please thats my emotional support song that i first heard on a 8tracks playlist in 2014

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you know what scene in A Little Life that always breaks me, is when Harold is trying to tell Jude how much he is worth and that he is loved, but Jude keeps backing a way saying stop - then Harold reaches up his hand, but Jude thinks he is going to hit him so he flinches. that shit breaks my heart every fucking time.

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i can’t stop thinking about how malcolm, jb, and willem built a home for jude. malcolm, the architect, physically builds jude a home. a home that’s easily accessible for jude without making jude feel less than. malcolm, who built it with respect for jude and his space, adjusting the home to fit jude, when all jude’s life, he has had to adapt to everything else. jb, who is as opposite to jude as one can be, but especially through his artistic endeavors, as opposed to jude’s upright, logistical, methodical ways. jb provides jude with pieces to decorate his home, sealing in the fact that this is his home. because home is when we dare fasten the nail in the wall, when we dare indulge in decor, for these things signify permanence, signify the roots one begins to plant. the decorum is unmoving; it stays there until someone chooses to take it down; it is stability. it is the reassuring presence that is there when jude leaves and remains when he comes back. and last of all, there is willem, the sole warm body jude shares his space with, a body that arguably loves jude more than he loves himself, a body so overwhelmingly kind and careful. and what is home, if not for a safe space, a space filled with comfort, a space shared with and sustained by love? so of course, with their absences, jude crumbles. his best friends, in their respective ways, come together to make a home for jude. when malcolm and willem are gone, when jb is at a distance, the space loses its safety, comfort, love. home is no longer home. home crumbles from the missing pillars that have held it up for so long

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i hope jude st. francis can feel that i love him. i hope he is not too annoyed by my constant thinking about him. it’s been a year since i found him and even on days where he doesn’t visit my mind i know he’s somewhere near me, under my skin, tunneled between the bone of my breast and the start of my ribs. i know i will be okay but it is the not knowing of how he is that makes me sad and it is the knowing of what he’s been through that weakens my heart. i wish i could erase my memory, but i know he won’t leave me even after that so, love, love, love is all i feel.