adragonstears

[adragonstears]

Can I make it come undone?

[adragonstears]

The wonderful (/sarcasm) situation of

If apartment building not accept this accommodation

Self will not survive this year (or this month depend on how long take make decision)

So now just wait to see whether apartment higher up think self should live or die

[adragonstears]

What if scream prettier?

Would that make more likeable?

[adragonstears]

greetings from. oil painting on paper

[adragonstears]

if i’m your doll then you need to take better care of your belongings

[adragonstears]

Not want to have funeral when die (it would all be just lie anyway)

But not have body disappear technology or anything so body would still need be exist even after die

Hate that

[adragonstears]

[adragonstears]

Tw suicidality

Love see all the "if see these red flags reach out to friend regarding suicidality" in self and know that all red flags for suicidality but also know that those not very likely to be recognize by people in life

And even if anyone to recognize , not really can do anything to help because society as stands not have kinds of supports in place that self need

[adragonstears]

"Am I supposed to be grateful to have survived this?" -Brenna Twohy, from "I know Its A Little Late," Forgive me my salt.

[adragonstears]

do you guys ever feel impure? Like no matter how hard you try to escape what has happened to you, no matter how much better you get, you will always be tainted? Even after I’m dead and cremated, my ashes won’t be free, they’ll just turn to dirt from the impurity I feel from the scars on my body and the horrible things I’ve done not just to myself, but to my friends and family.

[adragonstears]

Tw injury , long in depth blood mention , probably unhealthy obsession (? Captivation????? Overthink?? Intrusive think?? Something word) with/of blood

End up get injure and not want get blood all over so grab first thing within reach that could think of tha could catch blood and keep from get everywhere (Ziploc)

But after everything deal with and injury treat and bandage just end up bag of blood and Start play with it (in bag) and just

The feel of coagulate blood always fascinate? And the way look when squish in between the two wall of bag and look through and some dark red some lighter red and the lines and shades and it still little warm at first and just fkzjgsjfzgjgk

Keep think and bother bother and think there memory happen but not to SELF specific just... To someone

Keep think about the clumps in there and bother

[adragonstears]

We both know that I’m not what you need

[adragonstears]

Hi!

I really wanna talk with your "scary-looking" and "gross" headmates

I see you, rotting corpses

I see you, guts-out

I see you, person with no face but flesh

I see you, alter with all limbs amputated

I see you, nonhuman horror strait from lovecraft's stories

I see you, even if your eyes can't see me

I see you, human flashlights

I see you, ripped sex-dolls

I see you, a single moving organ

I see you, deformed figures that are not humans anymore

I see you, whos skin is covered full in rot and pus

I see you, "no skin but burns"

I see you, even if I can't even imagine you.

Even if you are not hc-did, even if body survived just SA and you exist now, even if you feel like system have not enoth trauma for your existence.

You are not as disgusting as you think you are, and I see you, and I love you, and you fucking deserve love

-greetings from Stump

[adragonstears]

primary // 2.13.20

[adragonstears]

Nobody knew and nobody knows

[adragonstears]

Just big swirly ball trigger in like 17 different ways have flashbacks so many different times

[adragonstears]

Tw csa

Also the fucking

Rape flashbacks

From ages before have any speech or when only have few words

Those been so often lately