adrenalineknight

[adrenalineknight]

//been drawing The Pookies because i love them

[adrenalineknight]

There was blood in the water now, even if it took Cal a moment too long to realize it. But he saw the Inquisitor's eerie eyes staring him down, pointed and lethal as all of them were, and felt how they dug under his skin to his very essence. Whatever he said would be used against him, and he'd already given away plenty just in how he reacted to their questioning.

(It wasn't their fault, Cal could try and rationalize. They were just doing what they were supposed to, what they'd been shaped for. The Inquisitorious was good at what it did, and Eden was far from the only Jedi to be broken into the perfect hunting hawk.)

(But now wasn't the time for rationalization, and the Inquisitor's sneer had Cal bristling in turn.)

Before he could say anything else, though, that sharpness abruptly drained from their expression as they slumped over slightly, their voice wavering as they spoke. Cal had already hesitated for far too long, but once again their words gave him pause.

Fuck it, kark it all to hell, he'd already wasted plenty of time. Clearly, they both knew who they were talking about, even if Cal had never actually spoken to the kid, nor had he ever known for sure about the other Force-sensitive hiding in the scrapyard.

"What do you mean by that?" he demanded. "Why would he be coming for you?" Did they mean- they'd somehow spoken to that kid, and asked him to rescue them? It was hard to believe, but Cal had heard more outlandish in the past.

"Explain yourself first, and I'll kill you then." He forced a hard edge to his voice, a teeth-gritting anger that boded no arguments. Not that he expected the Inquisitor to have any, not when he could feel the acid rain pooling inside them, aching for freedom-death-release-finallyfinallyfinally.

Eden pointedly kept eye contact with the jedi -- a dangerous game perhaps, but one they were confident they could win, or at least tie, if they needed. Their own talents were one of the few things the Inquisitorious program hadn't destroyed.

The other was obviously defensive and wary. Good, some part of them said, may it serve him well. But part of them smelled blood, vulnerability, and evidence that the answer to Eden's question was yes. Being this sort of hunting-hawk for the Inquisitors, always looking for the opening with which to strike, this was an instinct beaten into them. Some time ago, it stopped feeling completely foreign.

Maybe that meant it would be a part of them forever.

"You're right. I'm not." The authority and sharpness drained from their voice, back to that low, flat tone in which they first dared Cal to end their life.

Then, even that wavered, as they continued, "And what chance does he have of ever getting to me?"

And what more could be said about that? That resting all their hopes on one ordinary bastard to make it all the way to an Inquisitorious citadel before they stopped recognizing themselves was foolish? They didn't want to spell that out for him, though.

In a hollow voice, they snapped- "So end this."

[adrenalineknight]

Re: Cal using a bunch of stims and energy drinks at the same time:

Cal ends up regularly and accidentally visiting the quiet corner of the Force where the Bendu is hiding.

Cal never realizes what he’s been doing, but Ezra eventually puts two and two together and starts plotting his own visits, to the Bendu’s increasing irritation.

LMAO that sounds like smthn that would happen honestly

(commission info // tip jar!)

[adrenalineknight]

@rejectshumanity comming in! -> “I could have told you anything. I chose to tell you the truth.“ 「 atlantis prompts 」

Cal tenses slightly at Dio's words, letting out a sharp breath through his nose. "Yeah. Yeah, I know."

It's just a lot to process, but now that Dio has actually said it, Cal supposes it's not too surprising. The Force has been screaming at him that Dio is dangerous since they met, that he needs to be careful. He'd just assumed that danger to be more mundane, akin to the usual threats he'd encountered here and there on Earth. Not- not this.

Not vampirism, something Cal hadn't even heard of until coming to this planet.

Cal looks back at Dio, resting his chin in one hand. The more he thinks about it, the more he understands why Dio didn't mention it sooner.

"It's just... a lot," he says finally. "I mean, I am glad you said something, and I'm- I'm not mad you didn't say anything before, I just didn't expect it." Not that he assumes Dio was afraid of how he'd react, of course. Cal may be realizing he doesn't know Dio as well as he thought he did, but he's confident that the vampire wasn't hiding from fear.

"... So I'm assuming that's why you needed someplace to stay, when you got here?" he asks. Their strange first meeting suddenly makes so much more sense in hindsight.

[adrenalineknight]

“what are you afraid of?”

[adrenalineknight]

"No problem," Cal said with a small smile of his own. "Scrappers stick together, right?"

He was just glad it wasn't worse, truth be told. Vayu may have felt that his reaction to his attacker was out of line, and that it only made the situation worse, but Cal knew very well just how badly that could've gone. Vayu was very lucky indeed that he'd been able to pick up on the Force's warnings, even if it was a little mistimed.

With time, and more practice, Vayu would almost certainly be able to fine-tune his Force connection into something that works for him. Something to give him an edge in a fight, or at least keep him safe.

Of course, that didn't mean that it'd be easy. Cal figured that he knew more than most how difficult it can be to learn the Force on your own, but he's sure it'd be worth it. It had to be.

For now, though, Cal was just relieved that Vayu's "uncanny perceptiveness" kicked in at just the right time.

He nodded when Vayu said that his hand was the only part injured, satisfied. Still, out of habit, he ran his Force presence over Vayu's, checking for any injuries the other man might not've been aware of. It's impolite to reach for another in the Force so loudly, Cal knew, but he figured Vayu wouldn't mind as long as he wasn't too insistent about it, as long as he didn't push his fire too close.

Thankfully, just as he'd said, Vayu was otherwise uninjured. Satisfied, Cal nodded and withdrew his Force presence, turning to start putting away the medkit. He smiled at MY-40 as she drooped in disappointment, a warm spark of fondness in his chest at the gesture.

"Maybe next time you can help," he offered, though he sincerely hoped there wouldn't be a next time. It wasn't her fault that she wasn't as equipped as a med droid as she'd hoped, but still. BD-1 chirped in agreement, tapping his feet in her direction. He continued chattering, excitedly asking her questions about this and that while Cal cleaned up.

However, though Cal could hear the droids' beeping conversation, he quickly stopped paying attention to the words as he felt a nudge against his presence, a gentle churning of embers at the corner of his awareness. It wasn't much, barely more than a knock on his shoulder, but it was so startling it may as well have been a blaster shot. His eyes widened and his hands froze as he looked back at Vayu.

"Was that you?" he asked hesitantly, before realizing what a stupid question that was. Who else could it be? But, fuck, it's been so long since he felt anyone reach back to him in the Force, he almost wasn't sure how to react.

Vayu always had a strange, intuitive sense for incoming danger -- like all the times he miraculously stepped out of the way of a falling hunk of metal, or off of a platform before it fell out from under him. Back on Bracca, it was easy to dismiss as being a bit more perceptive than most.

So easy in fact, he barely humoured it when known Jedi fugitive Cal suggested it might be something as fantastical as the force. A long-haul space-flight with him, and the painstaking explanation of what a "force bond" was finally convinced Vayu otherwise -- even if he couldn't hold people in place or read objects like Cal.

Of course, this sense wasn't foolproof. Like recently, when Vayu had turned around and raised his hand defensively... right into a knife.

"Thanks," he quietly whispered, as Cal wrapped the bandaging around the cuts and bruises. God, what a stupid fight.

He paused -- he felt something like brushing his hand by an open fire, but there was no fire around. It reminded him though, of the time he and Cal first met (for some definition of the word). They made eye contact for a second, and it felt like being licked by a tongue of flame, if that tickled instead of hurt. Another force thing, he guessed?

"Um. Not that I know of?" he answered.

As if called by the uncertainty, MY-40 rolled over with her diagnostics screen open, and chirped at the two men, eager to help. Knowing better than to let her try, Vayu slowly shook his head. The droid's entire frame drooped in disappointment -- Vayu couldn't stop himself from mirroring that, his shoulders dropping. After all, it wasn't M's fault her creators designed a medical droid that was better at lining their pockets than saving lives.

Turning over his arm, then looking back to Cal, he gave a small smile. "Yeah, I think I'm good. Thanks."

After a moment, Vayu tried something -- to reach out to Cal not with his hand, but with his mind, or his heart, or wherever the Force came from, and "tap" him back. At least, that's what he assumed Cal did?

[adrenalineknight]

@forthosewhocomeaftr comming in! -> “Why do I have this sinking feeling we’ve just made a terrible mistake?“ (take a Gustave. Take him I say) 「 atlantis prompts 」

"No, no, I'm sure it's fine," Cal says, his eyes wide. Somewhere in the near-distance, a shrill, sounds out, as whatever monstrosity they've inadvertently pissed off announces its rage at not finding them. Shit. "Dank farrik- okay, maybe not fine."

On the surface, Cal is very much on the verge of panic--justifiably so, because so far nothing he's seen in these lands is anything like what he's dealt with in the past. He likes a challenge, but not when he has no idea what he's getting into.

(But beneath the fear, there's an undeniable flicker of excitement, the thrill of danger pumping white-hot through his veins. If whatever that thing is catches up, he'd like to see it try to get them.)

But- Cal isn't alone, and even though he's relatively certain Gustave would be able to handle himself if it came to a fight, he'd rather not risk dragging the poor guy into that.

Taking a breath to steel his nerves, Cal turns back to Gustave, nodding to the bundle of scraps they'd collected. "You got everything there, yeah? I'm pretty sure we'll be able to get out of here without whatever that is catching up, as long as we move quickly." Perched on his back, BD-1 bee-woops in agreement, huddling close to Cal and clinging tightly to the straps of his poncho.

[adrenalineknight]

//yeah the bode sideblog is definitely happening. idk when but it's gonna happen. i need that stupid beautiful backstabbing bitch so bad (screencap under the cut)

don't look at me with those big beautiful brown eyes, you FUCK. i love you.

[adrenalineknight]

worked out some ways to fix cal's one billion mental illnesses

[adrenalineknight]

when the ship dynamic is "I'm willing to destroy myself physically and mentally for the sake of others" x "I will force you to take care of yourself even if it means fighting you" >>>>

[adrenalineknight]

wayfinder verse - earth edition notes

just some quick thoughts for what i have in mind for what cal's getting up to in the wayfinder verse, specifically in the variation where he's hanging out on earth.

while on earth, cal realizes rather quickly that being open about being an alien and a laser-sword wielding space wizard is not a good idea. as such, he hides both of those facts, at least as much as he's able to.

through a mix of jedi mind trickery and using echoes to learn about the world, he eventually finds his way in the world, to a degree, and settles down in a (still unnamed as of now) small seaside town. (location can be moved around freely based on the needs of the thread and plot, but in my heart he's living somewhere in canada.)

he also eventually finds work as a mechanic, using what he learned in his scrapper days to make at least a modest living. even if a lot of earth technology is unfamiliar to him, he's able to learn how it works via echoes.

in many ways, his time on earth is just a repeat of his scrapper days, albeit with a much lower chance of dying in a horrific industrial accident. mostly.

he has a modest apartment where he lives alone with bd-1 (who, for the most part, stays hidden either in the apartment, or sneaking out in cal's bag), and he mostly keeps to himself. he has a few friends, but he tries not to get too close to anyone if he can help it. who knows what could happen if the wrong person finds out too much about him? cal's pretty sure the empire can't find him here, but he's not risking it.

he keeps his lightsaber hidden in his apartment and doesn't take it with him, just to be safe. but in his spare time, he spends a LOT of time meditating and practicing his katas, to keep himself sharp and his body in physical shape.

from there, i'm very happy to mess around with details and play around with what works for the thread/plot! this is intentionally a very open-ended verse and there are many directions it can go.

[adrenalineknight]

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim ▪ 16/? (☕)

[adrenalineknight]

I'm not gonna lie the secret to success for a great many people is absolutely stimulant abuse

[adrenalineknight]

@corvus-rose comming in! -> are there any morals your muse learned in childhood that they disagree with / no longer live by? :3c 「 morality prompts 」

//yeah <3 well, idk if morals is the best word for this, but i think it counts.

as i hinted at in the previous answer, as well as in the message you sent me, cal definitely. is much, much more violent than the quote-unquote Traditional Jedi. like, of course, jedi aren't purely pacifistic, and for the most part aren't opposed to violence.

but cal was always taught that violence should be a last resort as much as possible, and that more than anything, jedi are peacekeepers who should seek peaceful solutions. if anything, violence should only ever be used to protect others.

but even as a young padawan, cal realized very quickly that the "perfect pacifistic jedi" is. a nice thought, but not true to reality. he was growing up in the clone wars, after all, a time when the jedi were generals leading armies into battle at the behest of the senate.

he may have been kept away from the front lines due to his age, but he saw very few "non violent solutions" that actually seemed to work. he was taught to fight, not to talk his way out of situations.

i don't think cal would say he disagrees necessarily that violence isn't always the answer, or that the jedi were wrong for wanting to do so, but it's pretty much the only one he knows. maybe in another galaxy he could've been an Ideal Jedi who can fix problems and fight evil with words. but that's not the galaxy in which he lives.

[adrenalineknight]

//the devil on my shoulder is whispering "omg you should add bode as a muse" and i am turning the music up to tune him out

[adrenalineknight]

he sit

[adrenalineknight]

@rejectshumanity comming in! -> how often does your muse self-reflect?

does your muse think of themselves as a good person?

what would your muse be willing to sacrifice to achieve their goals?

how often does your muse lie? Do they regret lying or do they feel their lies are justified?

「 morality prompts 」

//all very good questions :3c

how often does your muse self-reflect?

pretty frequently! a good chunk of cal's meditation is centered on self reflection, examining his feelings and actions to determine whether he's on the right path, to center himself. at least, in theory.

in practice, much of cal's self reflection involves him just being... very hard on himself, or otherwise thinking about all the people he's failed to save. it's hard for him NOT to dwell on that, and that's something he struggles to stay objective about. be puts a lot of responsibility on himself, and doesn't consider even for a moment that he might be mistaken in doing so.

additionally, cal doesn't see much point in stopping to reflect on his METHODS for resisting the empire. he does feel extremely guilty on some level for how easily and readily he resorts to violence, but he doesn't let himself stop to think about it too much, lest he start spiraling. he tells himself he's just doing what he has to do, and he can worry about being a killer when the empire is gone for good.

so, the answer is yes, all the time, but not very productively.

does your muse think of themselves as a good person?

relatively speaking, yeah. cal knows he's fighting for a good and just cause, to end an oppressive fascist regime, and in that regard he does think he's a good person. he knows he has good intentions, and what he wants more than anything is to make the galaxy a better, safer place for everyone.

but there's a part of cal that worries he's just as much of a killer as many of the imperials he cuts down. does his cause being just excuse how many lives he's snuffed out? he knows he fails in every regard to uphold the ideal of the jedi as pacifistic peacekeepers, and that genuinely haunts him. he's one of the last of his people, and yet he feels like a pretty rotten example of them.

cal is also all too painfully aware of his own struggles with the "dark side" of the force, how he teeters on the edge of losing himself in rage and hatred. it's hard to feel like a good person when anger burns so brightly in him.

what would your muse be willing to sacrifice to achieve their goals?

quite a bit, up to and including himself, without hesitation. he'd deny it if you asked him directly, but cal can't conceptualize a future where he lives to see the end of the empire. sure, he believes it'll be destroyed, and he's even sure he'll be one of the people toppling it.

but he expects to die in the process, and he's made his peace with that. much of his recklessness is a direct reflection of this suicidal ideation, which he's convinced himself is just him willing to do whatever it takes for the greater good.

(notably, cal isn't willing to sacrifice other people if he can help it. only himself. just another thing he's not going to think about too hard.)

how often does your muse lie? do they regret lying or do they feel that their lies are justified?

for a wanted terrorist and the extremely recognizable face of the partisan insurgent group, cal is remarkably honest. he's a terrible liar, so he's often completely honest.

not that he's incapable of doing so when needed--he can lie to protect others and the people he works with, and he's GREAT at lying about his own health and wellbeing, but otherwise he sucks at it. so he just doesn't try.

cal wears his heart on his sleeve, and so he finds it easiest to just keep doing that. there's a very good reason he was never tasked with the more delicate spy and infiltration work the partisans were involved with lmao, and why he usually would be used as bait instead.

it's not that he doesn't think lying is ever necessary, he just knows he has a terrible sabacc face