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i’m struggling mentally right now.
for the first time in my life, it’s a foreign place to be. don’t get me wrong, i’ve went through depressive episodes just like everyone else but even in the midst of the most challenging parts of it, my main focus has always been set upon the idea that what i’m feeling isn’t permanent. that eventually things will get better. and it usually does.
but this time, it’s different.
the best way i can describe my current state of mind is there’s this odd intensity of sadness that has taken over my headspace. i feel like ive lost control of my emotions and for the first time in my life, i don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. i don’t see how it’s going to get better. and that plunges me deeper into this abyss of depression.
its lonely.
as i try my hardest to navigate through this unknown territory, happiness seems so far away. i feel like ive been walking uphill for the past two years and i’m waiting for the day i make it to the top. what will looking down on everything i overcame feel like? will i ever get up there? these are questions that live rent free in my head and they’re the only answers i care about. they’re also my biggest fear, leaving them unanswered before i leave this earth.
i would like to say this too shall pass. but when will this all pass?
that’s yet another answer i’m unsure of. the only thing i do know is im a strong person. it takes a lot to break me down. lets see if this does…
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god i love this
The amount of serotonin it gave me to watch this grandma react to her new galaxy light 🥺
It’s dark in here- *gasps in excitement* OHH SARAH!
OHH SARAH! *giggles like a little kid* OHhHhH!!
My ceiling is filled with blue lights… and stars and everything!!
OH Sarah! I can go to bed at night looking at this. OHHHH it’s beautiful!
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one of the best horror movies of all time
THE THING (1982) DIR. JOHN CARPENTER
Nobody trusts anybody now, and we’re all very tired.
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Found thousands of tadpoles on my hike, thought tumblr would enjoy bustling tadpoles in these uncertain times.
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