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CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD (2025) dir. Eli Craig

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poppycorbytuech: Septembers 💌

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Edward & Adam Prime Target, S01E01

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GEN V 1.01 God U.

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Abbott Elementary (2021-present) Please Touch Museum (S04E22)

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“I love the character very much for that reason. It’s a very human experience that when you’re watching, you can go, ‘I can identify with that, because that person is trying to use levity and humor and lightness to make ease of someone else’s difficult situation.’ Even though it often can feel like he’s kind of punching up or trying to jeer at Rand or something, he knows that it comes from a place of, like, ‘God, there’s so much hard stuff going on for Rand in every day of his life that he needs somebody to do that.’ Otherwise, when we meet him in Cairhien, if he doesn’t have that – if he doesn’t have Mat at that place – he may not laugh, and that’s just really crap for your best friend.” –Dónal Finn

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Rand al'Thor & Mat Cauthon The Wheel of Time 1x06, “The Flame of Tar Valon”

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#mood

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ABBOTT ELEMENTARY 3.06 — Willard R. Abbott

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Good Will Hunting (1997) Dir. by Gus Van Sant

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“I want the window, I like how the breeze feels. If you’re that concerned about my safety, you could always sleep in the same bedroll with me, Castile. It’s hardly a probl —” Adrian, shut up. Mason’s cut off caused Adrian to blink in surprise, as though it were the first time he’d been interrupted. He opened his mouth to respond, but the witty reply he’d been conjuring died on his tongue, because his name had been called a second time. In this instance, the voice hadn’t belonged to either one of his guardians. The shout had come from outside, and Adrian almost dropped his drink in his shock, feeling as though he’d been winded. “That’s not…” but it was. Before she’d even come into view, it was undeniable who’d come for them. “Rose?”

Seconds later, her figure stood in the doorframe, and Adrian too was speechless. He couldn’t tell if his heart began to beat faster, or if it stopped entirely, but he certainly felt the warmth that spread through his body that he often associated with Rose. He stood up, ignoring the instability of his shaky legs, slow in his approach, and slightly irritated that some of his view had been obscured by Mason. He’d been more negative than the dhampirs about her life, his inability to reach her through dreams having solidified his fears. It’s the reason why he’d delved into old habits the second they’d arrived in Alexandria, because his excessive use of spirit with no results had left him feeling hopeless. He’d given up trying. But that now left him feeling like an asshole, because of course she’d survived. She was stronger than all three of them combined.

Still in disbelief, Adrian met her embrace, arms awkwardly wrapping around all four of them. The comfort of it was suffocating, and validating. Although he’d done none of the fighting, Adrian still felt the exhaustion from their journey here. But none of that mattered, now, because they’d found eachother. Slowly, the scattered pieces of their family were coming back together. The burden of guilt from leaving Lissa melted into the abyss, because Adrian had something to give her. Hope. Love. Their best friend. The horrific death they’d had to bare witness to hadn’t been the end.

If he hadn’t self medicated, Adrian would have been worried whether or not this was reality, but the madness couldn’t touch him now, allowing him to accept this as truth. Stranger things happened every day, the outskirts proof of that, but Adrian found himself unconcerned with the why. Eventually, he broke the silence her entrance had caused, a lazy smile upturning his lips. “Well, fuck me. I should never have betted against you, little dhampir.”

It wasn't like Rose to actively check her messages, but as somebody who never slept, she often burnt through her options pretty quickly. As obviously grateful as she was that the war was now over, she was finding it a lot harder to pass the time, especially when alone. She was about to give up and reach out to Lip for the fourth time that week when the tablet buzzed with a familiar alert tone. She eyed the device for a moment, hesitant, hating the way her chest tightened with longing every time she heard it. She'd tried her best to bury the feelings, refused to get her hopes up, but it was getting harder to ignore with each arrival, the last few months a blur of emotional reunions. It seemed everybody was getting their second chance, a new start with their loved ones. Everybody but her. Pretending not to care as much as she did, she grabbed the tablet and read the alert, scanning the words quickly, as if doing so would lessen the inevitable sting to follow. She wouldn't recognise any names, she never did. But suddenly, it felt like her heart had stopped. Adrian Ivashkov. Edison Castile. Mason Ashford. She stood in a rush, her head spinning as a result, the tablet clattering to the floor. It had to be a mistake, her scattered mind playing tricks. She reached for the device and read the alert again. And again. And then she was up, her heart in her throat, making her way to Halfway House with any real thought. She had to see for herself if this was real. Had to find out who to blame if it wasn't. Halfway House was intimidatingly large, and with Panem growing more unstable by the day, there was no shortage of new intakes. Rose practically tripped over them in her panic, kicking some belongings over as she searched frantically, running from room to room. "Mason?!" She suddenly called out, her feelings betraying her desire for control, growing more desperate with each unfamiliar face she passed. "Adrian?" She kept moving, strangers looking at her pityingly. "Mason!" Finally, a response. An actual response. Rose?

Panting from the effort, the anxiety, Rose followed the noise, staggering up the stairs. "Oh my god," she breathed, pausing at the door, taking in the sight of the trio. They looked exhausted, battered, older, certainly. But still every bit as handsome, and familiar. She crashed into them without another moment's hesitation, pulling them impossibly closer. "Oh my god." She couldn't stop saying it, couldn't process anything else, clutching them all to her as if they would disappear again at any moment.

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Hearing Eddie speak up against him only expanded upon the negative emotions Adrian was already feeling, so he disregarded any rational thought that told him it was coming from a place of protection, and not beratement. They’d been too distant for him to take the response in a positive light, only seeing the act as something that put more space between them. Space he hated. But it was Benjamin who twisted the knife. For a second time, he was doubting Adrian’s respect and care for Eddie, and making a mockery of his sobriety. The moroi’s eyes darkened, and his mind suddenly became a battle of will and spirit, one which Adrian was clearly losing. He didn’t even hear Mason as he moved around him, gaze locked in Benjamin’s direction.

“Oh, I’m the real Adrian Ivashkov either way. Sober or not, I’m honest. The same can’t be said for you. You see, Benjamin, the upside of my extended sobriety is that I have access to my magic. I can see your aura, and what a picture it paints,” Adrian smirked, now focusing on the sea of colours surrounding them all. “Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. I’ve seen less masking at a masquerade ball. Even those closest to me are guilty of it. Like my guardian,” he started, pointing in Eddie’s direction. “You tell me to go. You pretend you don’t want me around anymore unless it’s official, that what we had was wrong. But you look at me, and the space around you bleeds purple,” his tone become unstable, flickering between poetic and angry, the most obvious sign of excessive spirit use. His sessions with Wanda, whilst precautions had been taken, were clearly making him ill. With no Eddie to balance him, he was slipping. If anyone tried to stop him, he didn’t acknowledge them, continuing on with disregard.

“Jace, you hide behind bravado and confidence, but you’re as damaged as the rest of us. Baby Steele, pretending you could be the perfect guardian, when you lack the most basic form of discipline all you dhampirs were raised with — emotional control. Jules, you hate the system as much as I do, with valid reason, and you continue to show up here and play dutiful, why? What does that do for you beside further your pain?” Adrian’s fingers twitched, so he clenched his hands, fingers scratching along his palms. He’d spent a long time watching his friends, trying to understand them, and whilst he couldn’t be certain he was completely correct, he felt as though he was close enough. He’d always been an excellent judge of character. “Alec, I don’t know what your deal is. But it’s something. Your sister is the only one who’s colour doesn’t betray her,” he muttered, glancing at Isabelle with a temporary fondness. “Mason too, most of the time. At least he tells me hates me to my face, instead of hiding. I’m not the one who isn’t being real here.”

“Which brings me back around to you, Benjamin. The perfect role model, the most resolved guardian. But your head doesn’t align with your heart, does it? You’ve sworn yourself to a way of life that punishes the two people closest to you. Your brother is a genetic mistake and your lover is a mortal enemy of your species. I mean, no offense,” he said, shrugging apologetically in Juliet and Eli’s direction. “You know I don’t care. But he should. If our elders showed up here tomorrow, would he throw himself in front of you?” Adrian paused for thought, but it was the smallest of moments. “Maybe, actually. I know he has no issue with shoving royalty, considering how eager he was to push me up against the wall in Barcelo. I wonder if God heard the confession for that one, let alone the rest of you.” It was a cheap shot, but Adrian had long since surpassed rationality. His temple began to ache, and he wiped over his face, trying to brush the intensity off.

“Rose was right about all of this. This whole idea is an empty fucking oath,” he quietened, finally, wondering who’d come for him first. At least if it was Benjamin, a punch could knock him straight into the hospital, where the painkillers would be easily accessible. If Eddie and Mason would even let that happen. Now that Adrian had stepped back, he noticed how tense their postures were, always ready to protect despite themselves. He didn’t want it, it was only furthering their problems, and his own confusion. “We aren’t even supposed to love unless they tell us to, but we do anyway. We betray ourselves for a broken system. Enough’s enough. No more… we’re going to end up scared and confused. No. More,” Fragments of his argument with Eddie spilled over into the present, and soon enough, Adrian’s rambling became incomprehensible, only for himself.

It wasn’t unusual for Adrian to be late to training, nor skip it entirely. It was, however, unusual for Eddie to not do a thing about it. When the Moroi wasn’t in his direct sight, he was typically wracked with anxiety, but ever since his breakdown with Mason a week or so earlier, he’d been desperately trying to work on boundaries. He realised now that boundaries would protect them both, but most importantly, protect Adrian, and Eddie couldn’t be guilty of crossing that professional line again or they’d both suffer the consequences. He thought he’d been doing the right thing, but he’d only gotten lost in the intensity. Misguided, lead by only instinct and no formal training, Eddie had put Adrian at risk. Now that he’d had some distance, some time alone, he saw it for the failure that it was. And he refused to do it again. Without any conversation, he’d put space between them, and so far, had maintained that distance successfully. It was just better that way.

Which was why, when Adrian showed up to training after all, Eddie didn’t immediately relax, like he might have before. Instead, his body tensed up entirely, jaw clamped with the sheer effort made to not look back in the Moroi’s direction again. He’d clocked the cigarette, seen the irritated expressions on everybody else’s faces, and had immediately been flooded with guilt. Adrian didn’t deserve this reception, and he was itching to intervene, to de-escalate. But he kept reminding himself that it wasn’t his place anymore to interrupt. Boundaries. Boundaries meant letting Adrian fight his own battles, from time to time. To deal with his own fallout. He could handle it.

It all seemed to be going relatively smoothly, Eddie letting out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding when the cigarette was put out. There was certainly awkward tension, an obvious shift in mood that made Eddie feel like shit, but thankfully, Adrian had decided to play along. Or so he’d thought. Eddie’s eyes widened at the remark, not having expected it. He’d thought the hard part had been over, but tensions had been flared once more, now bordering on aggression. Worriedly, Eddie’s eyes flicked over to Benjamin, scoping out the reaction. Unfortunately, he’d been right to be concerned. Benji’s expression had gone from one of annoyance to sheer rage, his fists curling dangerously, and with the verbal confirmation that Adrian was harboring very real resentment toward Eddie himself, he realised silence was no longer an option. Not if he was to keep the peace, keep Adrian safe and the rest of the group placated.

Seeing Benji turn, Eddie shoved his guilt aside and quickly intervened, snapping. “— That’s enough, Adrian. Leave her alone.” Thankfully, this stopped Benji in his tracks. The man was still obviously rigid with anger, but Eddie didn’t want to see him pushed any further. He was their mentor for a reason, he was known as a god for a reason. He didn’t want to see him anywhere near Adrian when he was like this. Continuing on, desperate to defuse the situation, Eddie tried his best to ignore the deep sting Adrian’s final words had caused and made his tone soft this time, keeping his gaze focused on Benji despite addressing Adrian. The more tension he noticed in the mentor’s body, the more his own muscles responded accordingly, feeling protective. “You don’t have to do this, okay? Just - go.”

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ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT 3.10 Fakin' It

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THE WHEEL OF TIME (2021- ) | 3.01 TO RACE THE SHADOW

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#mood

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Adrian’s eyebrows raised in surprise at Juliet’s biting response, feeling hurt by the vicious tone in her voice. His comment hadn’t even been directed at her, but he felt the irritation behind her words, the genuine frustration aimed his way. Adrian hadn’t been trying to rattle anyone, but considering he hadn’t touched a drink since their night out, and he’d been practicing dream walking with Wanda, spirit’s influence was pressing at him, choking him with shadows. He’d only wanted to take the edge off with a cigarette. “My apologies, little vamphir. I was just about to,” his reply was intended to be playful, but it was accompanied by an uncharacteristic darkness in his eyes that wouldn’t normally be there. He snubbed out the cigarette on the side of his Stanley lighter, tucking it into his pocket.

Juliet scoffed and turned her back to Adrian, only furthering his upset. “Don’t take your sour mood out on me –” The Moroi could still see her aura. It was an uncommon mix of blue, red and yellow that he often saw in her, and he had found it unusual, until he’d realised the cause a few weeks ago. The blues only flared up when Benji was present, and his colours mirrored hers. Sadness. Heartbreak. Misunderstanding. It overwhelmed the hints of red that lingered around them both. “It’s not my fault you’re so pent up. Isn’t that right, Benjamin?” Adrian grinned, deciding to give into his verbal impulses. He clearly wasn’t wanted here today, and was now masking those insecurities with a harsh sarcasm. “Not that I don’t know how it feels,” he muttered, expression sobering as he glanced at Eddie.

Juliet had noticed Adrian’s arrival before he’d even entered the room, the scent of clove cigarettes suddenly overpowering her nose. Annoyance flared within her, disconnecting her focus from Alec’s opening speech. They often met as a group before splitting off into their paired training sessions, and although it was merely a formality, Juliet still found the routine important. A few moments passed before the others caught up with her enhanced sense of smell, but their expressions soon matched her own when Adrian strolled through the door, appearing nonchalant. To her own surprise, Juliet spoke up on behalf of everyone, her harsh tone influenced by hunger and the general emotional strain of Benji’s presence beside her. “You cannot be serious. Put that out.”

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Adrian sighed as he walked through the training centre’s main entrance, a lit cigarette already in hand. He wasn’t on time, but he was sober, which was a surprise in itself, especially considering his recent altercation with Benjamin in Barcelo, and his general distance from Eddie. He’d spent the morning considering bunking off again, but the isolation was slowly starting to nag at him; he’d never enjoyed his own company. In the end, he’d decided it was better to attend and be berated for his missed sessions than to spend another day alone; Rose hadn’t sought him out since the weekend either. Adrian was unsurprised, when he pushed forward into the meeting room, to discover that she hadn’t attended today. He’d have to check on her later. Despite himself, Adrian plastered on a lazy smile, taking a drag of his cigarette as he joined the back of the group, attempting to ignore the incredulous expressions that were shot his way. It was hard, though, considering how bright everyone’s auras were. His friends were a sea of colour, and although it was nothing new to him, it only added to the tension he felt. “Well don’t stop on my account,” he spoke up, cutting through the silence his tardy arrival had caused.