adulvrescence

[adulvrescence]

“I taste the good and bad in you and want them both.”

— Anita Ofokansi, Literary Sexts

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I really do believe there are an infinite number of miracles, life-saving exchanges, intimate embraces and fleeting glances of beauty and connection just patiently waiting for us to be receptive and vulnerable enough to meet them

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Come. And Be My Baby, Maya Angelou

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🩷✨

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yesss im always saying this like sure i can give you logical advice but at the end of the day you can just do what you want to do until youre sick of it. cant move on cant switch gears til youre sick of it so go ahead and indulge

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Valera Lutfullina, Racing

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i would stock up on locally grown produce with you any day

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I don't know where to begin really but I think this is the first year in a long while that I'd consider a really, really good year.

I have friends who will last minute invite me to go to estate sales with them or go like. observe salmon spawning or fuck off to the woods with me for a weekend or try or come over and attempt to cook something we've never tried before, which always seems to end in either blazing success or laughter and smoke.

i don't always know exactly where I'm going all the time, but I have developed the skill of listening to my own intuition and the way I've structured my whole planning system has given me a lot of ways to at least ensure my compass is pointed in a direction that feels good. this is not a skill I had at all in the past

I really feel like I have direction with my career now, I have developed a load of connections in the random-est of ways and I'm extremely confident now that I'll end up fine and doing something I enjoy

My house is beautiful and cheap, the most you can ask for as a grad student. I have hobbies I enjoy and pick up new ones regularly. I'm finally taking advantage of going to an ag school and eating good shit regularly. I can manage all my own shit and really feel like an adult

like. my salary is still dogshit sure and the price of all this was in some ways one of the most turbulent years I've had in a while (I've lived in 3 different houses this year) which forced me to reevaluate my life and shuffle around some priorities. but.

I wake up and I think I feel good most of the time? wtf

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James Baldwin talking about love

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Just popping in to say that for the first time in a while I am so truly, deeply in love.

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They have the best of intentions but its hilarious to me how on the first day of class my undergrads grill me on my preferred pronouns and whenever I proctor exams there's like 25% of the class that assumes I'm a man.

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Recently finished reading: Paying for the Party: How College Maintains Inequality

It's another one of those books that's a very lightly edited PhD thesis so if you're like me and enjoy Dry and Stodgy texts with perhaps too much detail you'll like this one, but it's a genuinely interesting perspective into how colleges often exacerbate rather than minimize class inequality through the perspective of sorority life specifically.

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tfw ur complete lack of interest in engaging with most media alienates u from a lot of ppl (grad students) ur age

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a thing I've had to untangle over the years as a bisexual is envy and attraction. I know its common for a lot of women to have that "do I want to be her or be with her sort of deal" but honestly for me my attraction to women has always felt a lot more clear cut. its men (+ sometimes butches) Ive done the whole "do I want to be them or be with them" dance with

[adulvrescence]

just a minor update:

my life isnt perfect but if teenage me saw how I was living I think she'd be thrilled. no change happened overnight but slowly my life has gotten to the place where things feel so different and my goals are now so different that it made sense in my head to swap to a new tumblr acct, so i did that and am now getting around to archiving/deleting a lot of sideblogs on this acct.

I'll keep this one cuz its fun to me to go through my archive and see what advice at the time I found helpful and what aesthetics I found pleasing but I'm not sure if I'll keep posting here going forwards. I think I'd like to keep at least one blog for personal posting purposes but I don't know if I'd rather do that on my new acct or maybe start just throwing shit here. We'll see