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We looked inside some of the posts by aeonsofexistence and here's what we found interesting.
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Notes Per Post
764K
Likes Per Post
395K
Reblog Per Post
369K
Reply Per Post
216
Time Between Posts
1 month
Number of Posts By Type
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12
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5
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Hey. It’s been a while. I think 2 years. In that time I planned a wedding, got married, and then got divorced. It’s been pretty rough and I thought the hardship would be over the moment I got the divorce but sometimes I have such a heavy feeling in my heart and the ugly thought that “I wish he would’ve just hit me so that this pain would feel justified” runs a loop around my brain. I feel really sad for myself to have gone through so much and I wish everybody else could see it and stop calling me a liar. Most of all I think I just wish I was dead so I wouldn’t have to remember everything.
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Want to learn something new in 2022??
Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)
40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)
Excellent basic crochet video series
Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)
Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)
How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)
Another drawing character faces video
Literally my favorite art pose hack
Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??
Introduction to flying small aircrafts
French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding
Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)
Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)
Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)
Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:
Calculus 1 (full semester class)
Learn basic statistics (free textbook)
Introduction to college physics (free textbook)
Introduction to accounting (free textbook)
Learn a language:
Ancient Greek
Latin
Spanish
German
Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)
French
Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)
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Sometimes you just need to listen to the same song for an entire afternoon
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#so my sister is apparently leaving in a month#I’ll believe that when she starts packing#I don’t know how I feel other than I must be a horrible person to feel thankful#and I think that is why I will never be able to move forward#sigh#I can’t forgive myself because I can’t forgive my sister#what’s the point of an older sister if they give up their responsibility and you get tasked with everything#!!!!!!!!!!!#surprisingly don’t feel crazy#I’m just like -eh#and that just fuels the constant thoughts in my head that I am a terrible person
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― Anne Sexton, Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters
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Scan from Tokyo: A certain style by Kyoichi Tsuzuki
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Every year I will have 2 moments where I completely despise myself for how I’ve lived my life and want deeply to kms, and then I will remember Seokjin’s Epiphany exists and for 3-4 minutes I remember that my life is worth living, and that despite all the hardship I should begin to love myself… and then I have to go on the long journey that is learning to like yourself
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Crying tonight because I am so disappointed with who I am and the fact that I can never do anything right…. All these bad choices just pile up to make a bad person. I am SO disappointed in the life I have lead and how little progress I have made
#crying really hard in my bed#would be sobbing but I share a room so it’s giving silent#this is a mental breakdown#this is a full on breakdown#I haven’t had one since last summer#maybe summer is just a bad time for me#personally#I think I’m still scared of failing my exams#I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be in life#and maybe that is the reason why I can never move forward
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#bojack horseman is so triggering omg#but I love how it accurately displays living with depression and still attempting despite feeling empty#so triggering tho lol#listened to film out and remembered loneliness
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#hey besties…I’m back hehe#anytime I get sick of Instagram and feel like all ppl ever see is my flaws I run back to tumblr#because who the fuck keeps with tumblr LOL#I like the void….#I have exams coming up#I’m too scared to start studying because of the impending doom of failure#I’m dissatisfied with all my relationships one minute and then I’m love the next#what can I say…. life’s a rollercoaster#and as enya always says… life’s got it’s ebbs and flows.. just gotta wait it out
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#it’s been a while!#coming to you with a pic of one of the letters that was keyed into my new car#also I bought a new car!#lol now I’m waiting for it to be fixed so I don’t expect to be able to use it until uni starts again#results come out on Wednesday and ever since I remembered I haven’t been able to sleep#sigh#I’m doing it again#shutting myself out#closing myself off#just as a precaution#still working full time cos free days just remind me that I have nothing going for myself#I have yet to watch the last ep of fruits basket
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thinking about “you haven’t met all the people who will love you” and like!!! you also haven’t found all the things that will make you happy!!!! there will always be new authors and musicians and artists whose work you will one day discover and love!!!! there will always be new hobbies and skills for you to learn and feel fulfilled by!!! there will always be new things around the corner that will bring sudden and unexpected happiness!!!!!!!!!!!
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