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[aestories]

illegitimi non carborundum

dog latin

[aestories]

senioritis

I have senioritis. The worst class in the world is the one I can’t drop. I have resolved to ace the class and then never think about it or the teacher ever again. I draw strength from the faith that my counselor has in me, and the kind and encouraging words I have gotten from my classmates. I am determined. I’m gonna try to follow Rihanna’s advice: Don’t let the bastards get you down.

[aestories]

woah

Basically a year has passed. I kinda forgot that I made this. A lot has happened, too much to detail. I guess I’ll try to go from here.

[aestories]

The Little Chicken

So there’s this little chicken and he’s laying in the middle of the road with his legs straight up in the air. A man comes down the road and almost steps on him. “Little chicken,” the man says, “why are you laying like that in the middle of the road?” The chicken replies, “I’m holding up the sky so it doesn’t fall down.” The man says, chuckling, “But your legs are so small and spindly, how could you ever expect to hold up the sky?” The chicken simply says, “One does what one can.”

[aestories]

The Dead Body

So Hayley and I were driving down Grand, and it was about 11:00 at night. As we’re driving by this ditch I see a cop pulled over flashlighting the ditch. Hayley slows down and pulls into a parking lot and says, “Sorry we have to go back, I thought I saw blood and I just have to make sure it wasn’t blood. Sure enough as we’re driving back by we see this huge puddle of thick red blood in the middle of the street. There’s a trail leading off towards the shoulder, as if someone dragged a body off towards the ditch. I follow the trail of blood and my eyes land on a cold lifeless mass laying in the tall grass on the ditch bank. My stomach dropped, but I breathed a sigh of relief once I realized it was just a deer.

[aestories]

I might do something drastic...

I think I’m gonna tell him. Tell him I like him. I don’t know when or how, but it has to happen; and soon

[aestories]

Boy Have I Gotta Tale for You

So it’s Valentine’s Day and I sent a candy gram to a boy that I like. It said “I hope we’re not too good of friends for me to send you this.” (reference last post) aaaaannnddd he didn’t understand. He didn’t realize it was from me. Probably because I didn’t sign it but I thought he would’ve surmised. Boy was I wrong. Still not sure if he knows yet or not. Oh well. Do I give up? That is the question. Boys are the densest motherfuckers on the planet.  Also someone stole my friends Valentine’s gift that her boyfriend got her. Just stole it. Shitty. 

On a more hilarious note, one of my friends accidentally sent me a picture of his bare ass in the mirror. It was thoroughly hilarious.

[aestories]

R U FUCKN KIDDN ME BRO

Too good of friends. Too good of friends? Are we even friends? You don't act like it.

[aestories]

So I went to Bozeman with Kyla this weekend. We got locked out on Saturday night. Lena didn't bring a key because she thought Sander had hers and Sander didn't bring a key because she's dumb. So Kyla unscrewed the window and Sander climbed through.

[aestories]

College

I want to go to a fancy college and I won’t apologize for that. It’s really very important to me to go to a college like Carnegie Mellon or Colorado College. I think it vindicates or validates all the time, energy, and focus I put into my academics. It will push me into great things; it will thrust greatness upon me if you will. Despite my low discipline I am a very ambitious person. I have to do this. All I need is the money.

[aestories]

January 20, 2017. Friday.

[aestories]

Comedies You Shouldn’t Forget

Bo Burnham: What

Trevor Noah: African American

Carl Barron: A One Ended Stick

Mike Birbiglia: My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend

Hannibal Buress: Any of them really

Iliza Schlesinger: Freezing Hot

Neal Brennan: 3 Mics

Demetri Martin: Live At the Time

Donald Glover: Weirdo

Nick Thune: Folk Hero

Kevin Hart: Also any of them really

John Mulvaney: New in Town

Aziz Ansari: Any of Them

Sebastian Maniscalco: Aren’t You Embarrassed?

Probably More IDK

[aestories]

Norway

I might be going to Norway this summer and I gotta tell ya I’m super excited. I really want to meet the original AnaBrit (Anne Brit). Fingers crossed.

[aestories]

Bye Bye

goodbye to my hair (you probably won’t be missed); goodbye to semester one; goodbye to finals week; goodbye to my cold (hopefully) 

[aestories]

Haircuts

I’m getting my haircut the day after tomorrow. As of right now my hair is probably about three feet long. It’s reeeaallly long. I’m not gonna chop it all off, but it’ll be a lot shorter. I’m excited. On a different note I wanna know why the hell people can’t see what’s right in front of them. Even when people are yelling and pointing at at it. Lord help me.

[aestories]

Live your life. Ride this motherfucker till the wheels fall off.

Martin Lawerence

[aestories]

Happy Fish in a Big Pond

I can hardly express how grateful I am that I get to go to school at a private Catholic School. The stories I hear about the school in my hometown are the stuff of nightmares and I’m not even exaggerating. A 4th grader ripped his shirt off and started “prowling” around the room and growling. He then proceeded to tell the teacher to “fuck off” and “if she needs help with that he’ll show her what a goddamn blowjob is” If that doesn’t make your skin crawl then I don’t know what could. I am thankful for Mrs. Kelly and Mr. Hanser. They taught me that discipline is a form of love. I respect them and they can respect me because I have wonderful parents who taught me how to act like a goddamn good person.