afreelyoptimisticcollector-blog

[afreelyoptimisticcollector-blog]

In another life I would make you stay So I don't have to say You were the one that got away.

TOTGA. Pantamad term for “The One That Got Away.” Pasok na pasok na term naman para sa napakaclassic na ‘Pinagtapo pero hindi itinadhana’. Yung may nabuo naman kayong past pero wala na kayo sa present ng isa’t-isa kaya medyo nangangarap ka pa rin ng very light na sana kayo pa ring dalawa in the near future. ( At yung ‘near’ na sinasabi mo, walang nakakaalam kung gaano ka-’near.’) Yung mula sa kaibuturan ng mga maskels at ventricles ng puso mo, alam mong siya talaga ang ‘THE ONE’ para sa’yo pero hindi na ikaw ang The One para sa kanya.

So, anu-ano nga ba ang mga signs na siya talaga ang TOTGA ng buhay mo?

1. Wala naman talagang nagloko, hindi lang talaga nagwork-out. Tipong you never fall-out of love. It just ended. ( Shet. Ang dramatic.)

2. Palagi mong naririnig sa mga kaibigan mo yung mga linyang, “Bakit mo kasi pinakawalan? Ang swerte-swerte mo na dun eh.” “Sayang kayong dalawa.” “Akala ko kayo na talaga.” Pero ang totoo, pinabibigat lang nila yung nararamdaman mo. =P

3. Self-proclaimed nakamove-on ka na ( DAW ) pero ayaw mo pa ring maglet-go. Wala na yung ‘pain’ pero andun ka pa rin sa part na pinanghahawakan mo pa rin ang natitirang bagay na makakapagpaalala sa kanya.

4. Sa dinami-dami ng naging ex mo, ( kasi medyo uhhh. ayoko kitang i-judge ), sa kanya mo naranasan yung klase ng pagmamahal na gusto mong maranasan na hindi kayang ibigay ng iba.

5. Kapag nakikita mo siya sa piling ng iba, naririnig mo somewhere yung voice-over ni Basha na, “Ako na lang… ako na lang ulit.” Then you just found yourself na piga-piga yung dibdib mo habang dumudulas ka sa dingding in slo-mo.

6. Yung ang lakas mo maka-immaculate heart dahil walang natitirang espasyo diyan sa puso mo para sa kahit konting galit.

7. From the time na naging single ka ulit, siya na yung naging standard mo para sa next relationship mo. Tipong pangmatindihan talaga. Kaya hanggang ngayon single ka pa rin.

8. Alam mong napakaswerte ng taong mamahalin niya kase ganun din yung naramdaman mo noong kayo pa. #SiyaNgaPalaAngSinayangMo levels.

9. Kasama pa rin siya sa mga plano mo hanggang ngayon dahil minsan dumating din kayo sa puntong pinlano niyo rin ang future niyong dalawa ng magkasama.

10. Masaya ka na naman sa buhay mo pero alam mo sa sarili mong mas masaya ka kung kayo pa rin hanggang ngayon.

11. Gustong-gusto mong mag time-space warp para i-renovate ang nakaraan baka sakaling mababago mo ang kung ano ngayon.

12. You always imagine na kung may parallel universe man na nag-eexist, alam mong doon, masaya kayo pareho.

—-

Pero kung siya talaga yung The One, bakit ka iiwan? Bakit mo iiwan?

Kung talagang para sa’yo, kahit gaano kaimposible, babalik at babalik yan at tatanggapin mo pa rin ng paulit-ulit. Hindi siya mapapagod, hindi ka rin mapapagod. Ikaw ang pipiliin niya araw-araw, siya yung pipiliin mo araw-araw. Yung hindi mo na kailangang makipagsabwatan sa tadhana para muli siyang bumalik sa buhay mo. Kung talagang para sa’yo, hindi mo na hahayang magkastiff-neck ka kakalingon sa nakaraan para hatakin siya papunta sa kasalukuyan. ( Makatapak ka pa ng ebak dahil hindi ka marunong tumingin sa dinadaanan.)

May mga tao talagang dumarating sa buhay mo para lang panandaliang iparamdam sa’yo kung paano magmahal at mahalin pabalik. Pero hindi yun nangangahulugan na siya na yung taong nakalaan para sa’yo. ( Pina-experience ka lang ni Lord. Masyado ka naman daw nacarried-away. )

Ang tamang taong para sa’yo ay wala sa nakaraan. Maalin lang yan sa nasa harap mo na o nagbubook palang ng Uber papunta sa’yo. At sa pagkakataong ito, hindi na siya yung The One That Got Away mo. Siya na yung The One That God Allowed. Naks!

[afreelyoptimisticcollector-blog]

The good old saying “If someone loves you, they will fight for you” is NOT the only form of love. There are times when circumstances are so overwhelming that it forces two people in love start to break apart.

[afreelyoptimisticcollector-blog]

s and m

His smile is like the sun that rises on a moonsoon season.

It was like projecting a piece of art.

His humor is like endorphin, I was badly needed.

I was wishing like it was my last time.

I felt surreal like the bell rings, slowly and tremendously.

It was a peak of courage like a man presenting a ring. 

There was hard walls in love.

I was uncertain piece with pain.

It was soft reflection in glass behind my guilt.   

[afreelyoptimisticcollector-blog]

ANG KONSEPTO NG CLOSURE AY HINDI PARA SA INIWAN AT NANG-IWAN

Sabi kasi nila, kelangan daw ng closure para tuluyan kang makapagmove-on. Kelangan mong malaman ang eksaktong dahilan kung bakit kayo naghiwalay para maging malinaw sa’yo ang lahat.  ‘Cos not knowing can be the worst feeling of all.

Pero kapag ba nasagot lahat ng tanong mo makakamove-on ka na nun? Maniniwala ka ba sa isasagot niya o may ineexpect kang sagot para sa kanya dahil naka-plot na sa utak mo yung mga gusto mong marinig? Di ka na ba masasaktan? Kung ganon din lang eh di sana ginawa na lang tableta o capsule yang closure na yan at ipinagbili na lang sa botika.

Ang closure ay isang malaking excuse lang para paulit-ulti mong sabihin sa sarili mo na mahirap magmove-on. Na dumedepende ka pa rin sa kapirasong salitang pwede mong marinig sa kanya para masabi mong okay ka na.

When one ends a relationship, that’s it! Tapos na. Wala ng Book 2. Wala ng Part 2. The End. Hindi ka na pwedeng humirit pa ng 4-hrs finale para mai-justify ang ending niyong dalawa. Wag mong idepende ang feelings mo sa taong iniwan ka na.

No matter how it ended, kesyo bigla na lang hindi nagparamdam o nalaman mo na lang na may iba nang kinakalantari or nagkaroon kayo ng formal break-up sa harap ng 7eleven habang sinisimot ang tirang yelo ng Slurpee, yun na yon. You. Broke. Up. Ano pa bang closure ang kelangan? Hindi ka na niya mahal. Hindi pa ba sapat na closure yon?

Minsan kinakailangan mo lang ng closure dahil meron kang “ideal way” ng pakikipagbreak. May gusto kang paraan kung paano kayo maghihiwalay. Kase ang gusto natin ay yung breakup na hindi tayo masyadong masasaktan. Yung “medyo masakit na break-up” lang. Eh wala naman kasing ganun. Break-ups never happen the way we want them too. Unless may pa-eulogy pa kayo sa isa’t-isa habang kumakanta ang Madrigal Singers ng ‘Hindi Kita Malilimutan” or may pa-impromptu kayo habang lumalaklak ng beer.

Ang konsepto ng closure ay hindi para sa iniwan at sa nang-iwan. It’s between you and yourself that you have to work things out. Wag mong ipaubaya sa “konsepto ng closure" yung kahihinatnan ng damdamin mo. Tamad mo magmove-on eh no? Sariling sikap tayo hoy. Ang issue dito ay hindi na tungkol sa’yo at sa kanya. Sa’yong sa’yo na ‘to. Ito yung kung paano mo tatanggapin sa sarili mo na tapos na ang lahat ng meron sa inyo at hindi na pwedeng ibalik pa.  ‘Cos a break-up alone is already a closure.

Case closed. Uwian na. Walang nanalo. Pareho kayong talo.

Source: israelmekaniko

[afreelyoptimisticcollector-blog]

The Adversity of Reaching You

In this land full of uniqueness, I am digging deeper to search for the similarity we might have. I am trying to look for something we have in common that will make me say we’re really meant to be. I am hopeful that there’s a particular thing that will connect our lost souls and hearts for searching too long for the right one.

There’s something in your eyes that I found very mysterious like a riddle and it makes me want to solve it. I am looking for answers everywhere because you’re the only person I can’t read within the first glance. You’re like a book with infinite pages that will take eternity to finish. But still, I want to enter your world and look for the esoteric feelings.

I can’t even understand myself why I have this kind of conception of you. It’s just that every time I look at you, I see myself in a dark cabin looking for the lost puzzle piece that will complete and reveal the real picture of you.

Your mind can collect a thousand thoughts that makes me admire you more. You’re a talking book, a walking dictionary. You’re the human version of unlimited words. You’re a library and I want to read all the books.

Your sophistication in almost everything remembers me of the Roman God, Thoth. You can survive every field you’ll be put into because you possesses a great knowledge inside you.

You can sing and your voice is music to my ears. You can dance gracefully that moves my feet closer to dance with you too. You’re gifted with various talents that really suits you. Many praised you but you remained humble. You don’t say out loud your achievements and it amazed me.

Your face is a living image of Eros. It challenges me to covert your strictness and fierceness features into a smiling face. Because every time you smile, the surrounding brightens. A very powerful smile that can change a human’s mood for a day. If my eyes can be a camera, 1000gb isn’t enough to save all the glances and moments with you. You also have a good sense of fashion because every time you pass by, all the people beside you look.

You’re a grand prize that everyone’s willing to compete just to win you.

And I am one of the participants in this game called “Reaching You.”

Many doves are present in this competition that tightens up the rivalry and look at me, an ugly duckling who can’t pass your standards. I’m pretty sure you’re not going to choose for the girl who’s not that beautiful. The handsomeness chose you and you must also choose the girl whom Aphrodite can say “she’s beautiful.“

I am losing my chances every time I find out that pretty girls are drooling over you. They’re aphrodite’s kids while I’m haphaestus’.

How can I get even just a 1% percent chance to win the grand prize… to win you? How can a girl who acts like a boy win over the feminine one?

I dig too much to find our similarities but you’re really just beyond the limit. We are opposites and antonyms that can never be fit together. We are ketchup and condensed milk that cannot be mixed. I don’t believe that opposites attract because we could’ve happened if it’s true.

I am on earth and you are beyond the sky together with the other stars I can’t reach. I’m the fisherman and you are the fish. In this wide ocean, I can’t catch you. You’re on the other side of the locked door I can’t open. I guess, I am really reaching to someone unreachable and I don’t stand a chance with.

There’s no way I could win this game.

If I can’t make you my lover, please, be my friend.

[afreelyoptimisticcollector-blog]

If you know where your heart is, look where your heart wanders

Annonymous