againstsquares

[againstsquares]

why don't you just come by? we'll have some breakfast.

' i –uhm. i can't. ' he's said it before he can stop himself. to be honest, her call had shaken him severely and he didn't expect it just because he texted her 'i feel so stuck ive been sitting here since 4 am in the cold on the balcony and i can't move and i' no that's not what he texted her. that's the text he deleted. the text he send her was 'i feel like i'm about to'– no it was 'i haven't eaten since the day before yesterday and all the food is going bad and the guilt is growing and growing and i am too scared to get back inside and take a look and' no. that wasn't it either.

' ive had a weird night and kind of also a weird day. ' that's it. that's what he texted her and now she's calling her from her place in the city, he didn't even realize she's in town, and it's scaring the crap out of him.

in the building across from the street, right in front of his balcony the curtain opens, the guy who lives there can see him. he puts his hand up to greet ben. they don't really know each other, but they do greet each other sometimes. ben gestures back. ' mara i didn't– when did you get here? you know, when did you fly over? '

[againstsquares]

i hate that you’re not here, every day.

they're just having a coffee in the sun outside on the porch. ben's skin is getting tanned, his hand is getting used to holding another hand. this will be the second summer break he'll be spending mainly in los angeles, staying over at mara's. usually he fills in for matty in the comic store and keeps himself busy.

it's nice to be able to spend more time with mara. different than her having to wait on him in his apartment in new york until he gets home from work. different than the rushed weekends, or the longing texts and phone calls. it's all just waking up together, and just thinking of whatever to do that day. and then doing that thing. weird.

' me too. ' he draws circles with his thumb on the back of her hand. what does saying that out loud mean? he doesn't want to move here, does he? he needs to stay in new york, cause heather lives there and danny and the school is there and the store. still he says me too. because he hates it too, and he loves being here everyday. more than he would love for her to be in new york everyday. whatever that means, why does he feel guilty thinking about it like that? ' i keep thinking about how things are gonna be after break and i can't think about it for too long, y'know. '

[againstsquares]

PROMPTS FROM THE ITALIAN JOB *  assorted dialogue from the 2003 movie, adjust as necessary

still don't trust me?

i trust everyone. it's the devil inside them i don't trust.

that's an interesting saying.

i had a real bad experience, man.

i feel so optimistic. how do you feel?

you know what "fine" stands for? freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.

are you kidding me? how does he do that?

i'm gonna need your shirt and your truck.

you're not too bright, are you?

what did you do to your hand?

don't talk about right or wrong with me, because i don't give a shit.

we made our play, and i came out on top.

what is your play here, really?

come on, what do you think?

there are two kinds of thieves in this world: the ones who steal to enrich their lives, and those who steal to define their lives. don't be the latter.

what are you talking about?

find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto them forever.

just give me a minute.

take all the time you need.

why don't you just come by? we'll have some breakfast.

you blew the best thing you had going for you. you blew the element of surprise.

it would be nice if it was true.

how do you know that?

why are you encouraging this?

where do we want it to go?

we can't have a shoot up without guns. we'd lose.

you know this was never about the gold.

whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart.

damn, that was cool.

how did you do that?

don't you want to see what's inside?

i'm sending you something.

does it smell nice?

say it again, man.

do not be messing with me right now. i will kick your ass.

i think it's time to move on.

where's my truck? what the fuck happened to my truck?

i never look inside.

i thought you'd never ask.

don't worry, i'm not going to shoot you.

you've got no imagination.

we didn't get a chance to meet!

wow, that is a nice car.

turn in your badge and your weapon.

it's a big stereo. speakers so loud, they blow women's clothes off!

unlike you, my friend, i don't need a guide book.

the gang's all here.

do you always work in the dark?

how long to crack it?

can you change it back?

you are clear for ninety seconds.

i don't go out with strange men.

[name], how we looking?

this is it, guys, moment of truth.

it's over when i say it's over.

you're out of moves. the game is over. just give it up already.

hey, what's your problem, man?

i want to propose a toast. to us!

stop them before they hit the street.

i'll do it, [name]. i'm in all the way, whatever it takes.

take your hands off the wheel!

it doesn't quite do it for me.

you don't really seem like the adventurous type.

i wasn't making assumptions.

he touched my hand.

[againstsquares]

@childactress: i am coming home to you if it’s the last thing that i do.

' don't – it's fine i'm fine. ' things feel worse. almost worse than ever before but now he's holding their baby and he's supposed to be fine. she's out on set across country for a big job and things are going great. he's so happy for her. and he loves their sunny home and he thought he was finally getting used to living in LA but he's been sick from work since june now, and there's this one memory is starting to become so very clear. it's making it so hard to pick up the baby without feeling like something really bad is going to happen. he's trying to sooth it from crying and it feels as if he's hurting it by rocking or hushing.

' i'll figure something out, please just stay there, i promise i'll manage. ' he shouldn't have said anything. it's just the paranoia getting the better of him. he's constantly checking the time, making sure that he's there. not missing any moment, though he's pretty sure he's already missed some hours. he can't take a fall now, not when he's supposed to take care of donny and keep things running here while mara is on the job. ' i'll ask someone to come over. y'know. heather maybe. ' not heather.

[againstsquares]

Trans Rights petitions in the UK

Following the ridiculous and inhumane news out of the UK yesterday, two out of the top 3 petitions on the UK parliament petition site relate to trans rights:

Let me point you in the right direction!

1. Legally enshrine the right of adults to physically transition using NHS services

Sign here

See graph of signatures here

Deadline: 28 July 2025

Signatures so far: 24,709 of 100,000

2. Allow transgender people to self-identify their legal gender

Sign here

See graph of signatures here

Deadline: 12 June 2025

Signatures so far: 22,107 of 100,000

Who can sign?

Anyone living in the UK, regardless of citizenship

UK citizens living anywhere in the world

[againstsquares]

@childactress: i’m a nice person. i am. i know how to be nice!

'you can be. you can be very nice.' 

she just had like, this shield, this wall, this forcefield, this whatever you pull up when something requires even the slightest bit vunerability. today it had frustrated her. ben kissed her temple as casually as one can kiss a girl you're falling in love with on the temple and pulled her close so they wouldn't fall of the couch. 

'you're nice to me, mostly. and for a weird reason i don't want to start thinking about i also often like it when you're not nice that to me. so.' off topic. you can choose to be nice everyday, blablabla. he should say something like that even though it didn't work like that most of the time.

[againstsquares]

PROMPTS FROM RANDOM LYRICS BY THE MOUNTAIN GOATS *  assorted lyrics from the mountain goats songs, originally created by my friend monk and reposted with permission, adjust as necessary

i am gonna make it through this year if it kills me.

people say friends don’t destroy one another. what do they know about friends?

woke up afraid of my own shadow. like genuinely afraid.

headed for the pawnshop to buy myself a switchblade.

i feel guilty but i can’t feel ashamed.

it’s okay to find the faith to saunter forward.

lord send me a mechanic if i’m not beyond repair.

there’s bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet no matter where you live.

there’s gonna come a day when you feel better.

i’m gonna bribe the officials, i’m gonna kill all the judges.

it’s gonna take you people years to recover from all of the damage.

our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises, we’re pretty sure they’re all wrong.

i hope when you think of me years down the line you can’t find one good thing to say.

i hope that if i found the strength to walk out you’d stay the hell out of my way.

i am drowning, there is no sign of land.

you are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

i hope you die. i hope we both die.

cling to my convictions even when i get hurt.

but i’ve tried the losing side, i don’t wanna die in here.

you found my breaking point. congratulations.

spent too much of my life now trying to play fair.

i’m walking out of here in one piece, don’t care what comes after.

do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive.

some things you do just to see how bad they’ll make you feel.

some people crash two or three times and then learn from their mistakes.

mistreat your altar boys long enough and this is what you get.

a tiger’s never going to change its stripes.

too long i’ve let my self respect stand in my way.

you can stand up, you can run. you and i both know what you’ve done.

i will carry you home in my teeth.

spat out my morning prayers. desperate pleas and vicious lies.

there are no pan-asian supermarkets down in hell.

feast when you can, and dream when there's nothing to feast on.

the most remarkable thing about coming home to you is the feeling of being in motion again.

i am not this body that imprisons me.

look hard at my stripes, there’ll be no more after me.

sing for the damage we’ve done and the worse things that we’ll do.

i know you’d kill me if you could stand the sight of blood.

i can see the future, it’s a real dark place.

i’m doing this for revenge.

john rambo never went to vietnam.

i am healthy, i am whole. but i have poor impulse control.

i wanna go home, but i am home.

i’m going to get my perfect body back someday.

if not by faith then by the sword i’m going to be restored.

and i can't think of one thing in this whole wide blessed world that's more dangerous and frightening than you when you get bored.

i am coming home to you with my own blood in my mouth.

i am coming home to you if it’s the last thing that i do.

you’re the last best thing i’ve got going.

so i follow you down your twisting alleyways, find a few cul-de-sacs of my own.

there’s only one place this road ever ends up and i don’t wanna die alone.

wake up sixty minutes after my head hits the pillow. i can’t live like this.

believe in your heart and confess with your lips. surely you will be saved one day.

wait as long as i have to for good news.

a kind and loving god won’t let my small ship run aground.

no one hopes to hear the bagman call.

no friends closer than the ones we lost.

no greater love than to lay my life down for a friend.

look high: it’s my last hope!

i need justice in my life, here it comes.

i’ve been told it’s real sweet to grow old.

i don’t mean it when i tell you “i don’t love you anymore”.

what’ll i do when i don’t have you? when i finally get what i deserve?

you can’t give me back what you’ve taken. but you can give me something that’s almost as good.

look at the person i’ve turned into. tell me, how do you like him now?

i am right where you want me. do what you brought me out here for.

you can arm me to the teeth, you can’t make me go to war.

i’m under no illusion as to what i meant to you.

but you made an impression. sometimes i still feel the bruise.

[againstsquares]

u guys. things are looking good. i have a different job that doesnt suck the life out of me. i have NO commuting time anymore. i work half a day less in the week. i have a laptop again. i am Writing (what!!!! i havent written for myself in like 2 years!!). i am living in a house i can stay in until 2027 with the love of my life <3. i am slowly connecting with creative people in my area again. i have joined a WATER POLO TEAM? it is spring.

after two years of a crazy ass job with judgemental mfs and moving house 2 TIMES in 2024 i am sooo looking forward to this year. i am prioritising my other writing projects rn but i am also hoping to be on here again!!! just wanted to let u guys know how happy i feel rn!! <3

[againstsquares]

what the hell was that?

he knew it would be a good idea to get out of the city and into a hike . leave all of the trouble they've both been in for the past years and get some fresh air.

" nothing. " ben now knows that nothing ever changes and life is good, as he's rubbing a lost, wet leaf oh so softly over danny's nose in a pitch black tent ––smirking to himself, of course.

[againstsquares]

i’ll leave. you’ll never see me again.

a threat like this would usually skip over his carefully kept down walls, today ben could do nothing but watch it crash. "fine." voice gone bitter, eyes unfocused, wet. no more being the bigger person, no more filters, no counting till ten before speaking. "i'm not fucking keeping you here, y'know." ( he can't imagine a life without her, not after a year of quiet promises of a future together. ) " just go if you wanna go, and be honest instead of promising to leave and then staying because i'm getting sick of it."

[againstsquares]

CASTLEVANIA, S2 (E1-4) SENTENCE STARTERS.

a series of sentences from the second season of the netflix original, castlevania.

i’m going to get something for your cough.

don’t move. i’ll be right back with some medicine.

i hate that you’re not here, every day.

i’m amazed any of you are still alive.

what do you need? tell me, i’ll give it to you.

i will not be silenced. just let me help!

please, you don’t know what you’re doing.

you don’t know what you’re going to bring upon yourself if you harm me.

i’ll leave. you’ll never see me again.

stand up like a man.

what the hell was that?

you can’t hate livestock. they are simply what they are.

you understand why they all must die.

the matter is closed.

you sicken me. do you understand?

stop whining about cruelty. this is the world.

only the death matters now.

and i’m standing here sad and angry because they’re together, and i’m alone.

this is the part where you’re supposed to tell me i’m not alone, (name).

you are really very not good at this.

i learned to travel alone early in life. maybe i just got too used to it.

you had a family, though?

i know a little bit about what you’re feeling. i’m sorry.

i was right about you the first time, you know. you are rude.

i’ve been called worse.

i actually came to apologize for my outburst.

i should have held my tongue, so i apologize.

i’m a nice person. i am. i know how to be nice!

so, how do we proceed?

i want to go home.

have you been drinking again?

i was under the impression it was destroyed.

you’re guessing though.

fortunate, then, that i chose not to kill and eat you, (name).

such a merry band we are.

eat shit and die.

yes, fuck you.

i’ll be honest with you. i don’t have a better idea.

i’m trusting you, (name). don’t make me regret it.

everybody regrets it in the end.

you will cease this infantile squabbling.

and what insights have you, (name)?

i will speak with you alone.

i suspect he still wants to sleep with me.

what advantage does my anger buy you?

i’m still not completely clear on why you don’t catch fire in the daylight.

god, you still think you’re funny.

he’s gone mad, and from that, there’s no recovering him.

oh, the world will still be here, (name). trees will still grow, birds will still sing, animals will still hump away in the undergrowth. but you won’t be here. none of you.

the sun will still set, but you will not see it rise.

you hear that?

no further.

what did you think you were gonna learn?

please don’t be angry with me anymore.

even after everything in your life, you’re still a sweet boy who believes in love.

i’m sorry. i just wanted to help.

i love you too. that’s why i do this. this is how i love you.

you stop fucking around, you do as you’re told, you never use the word ‘love’ again.

no such thing as love in this world.

[why do you do that?] / choosing my own actions and injuring myself to a world of horrors.

you struggled so hard to come back home.

you came home regardless.

do you really think that’s enough, (name)?

your intellect cannot be denied.

i believe you are actually worried about (name).

the fire in him has gone out somehow. it’s as if we’re looking at the embers of the man.

there are things we can do that don’t require his decisions.

why are you so fascinated by that?

we need to ensure it does not fall into the wrong hands.

is it you?

tell me what you need.

they must be stopped. culled.

my fellow humans have never treated me with love, and i’ve punished them for it.

i wouldn’t have them suffer.

will you join me?

it’s hard to imagine you playing.

his was your home?

you grew up here?

wasn’t the worst way to grow up.

who remembers that sort of thing?

is there a point to these questions?

i’m disturbed to find that o had more of a childhood than you did.

just help me clear it.

i didn’t know it was a fucking magic door.

are you coming or what?

my family. all that’s left of us.

bloody hell. is that what i think it is?

careful, (name). you almost sounded excited about something.

it couldn’t be. could it?

what on earth is that ugly thing.

you’re not even a little bit impressed?

may i speak to you?

are you going to continue questioning me?

get out before i slit you up the middle and bite out your heart.

this isn’t a war, (name). it’s a suicide.

i’m not gonna fuck you, (name). i’m too pissed off.

you stupid bastard.

what the hell was that for?

no, no, no, that’s not fair.

[againstsquares]

UNDER THE SILVER LAKE (2018) dir. David Robert Mitchell

[againstsquares]

just find some other girl to jack off to and do nothing about.

( they've been going at it like terrified dogs , startled first by a wrong look and an unexpected move, now fighting & snarling to get out of drawing blood, barking to scare the other away ) "--- fuck off ! " ben immediately bites, throat sore and raw, a voice so gradually raised over the past hour it didn't get a chance to sound uncharacteristic. his tone has been embedded in her house in her living room for the last couple of days building up to him standing there in his boxers, wearing an old shirt of hers at barely 12pm and there is that comforting feeling of belonging in a trapped place .

don't fucking leave, don't leave, stay put - stay put. but it's fizzling out . his nails are digging into his palms , they've peaked and now there's a panic scratching, clawing against his chest- shame, something . (stay put, stay put & shut up.) " if you don't feel like having me around , just fucking say so ! because i'm not staying around just for you to be a fucking dick to me all week . "

[againstsquares]

i am homeless if this is not my home.

dialogue prompts from i am homeless if this is not my home by lorrie moore.

i suffer stage fright everywhere but the stage.

i am braced at every turn for disenchantment.

i sort of remember you.

i am here for you and with you.

what is there to be bitter about?

people don't think i know who they are.

reminiscence is an earache.

i am personally unreconciled to just about everything.

i have about two weeks of sobbing i haven't gotten around to yet.

i am so burned out.

do you remember that day?

all 'good' usually means is that someone got lucky.

i don't believe in 'good' anything.

there was no one heroic in my entire ancestral line, i'm pretty sure.

it's easier to speak when you don't have to look at people.

i didn't think you'd live this long.

i never really closed out the tab on ___.

i'm ostensibly more myself, or building up that way.

all that wanting's going to wear you out.

you? feel sorry for me?

i'm so sorry this is happening to you.

every marriage has a sinister little wobble in it.

i thought you might win. i really did.

jesus. i thought you were here to cheer me up.

the real story is never the official one.

if it adds up too neatly, it probably isn't correct.

be careful. you'll hear from HR.

democracy is a fine idea, but we've never actually had it.

did you bring any weed?

i miss you already.

i can't just come home.

i still have some things i want to tell you.

failure is a form of vacation.

i've never been good at connecting dots.

photos are a weird form of time travel.

why were you working so late?

may i kiss you?

you may want to sit down.

we were never on the same page at the same time.

are you trying to hug me?

i don't know how to block people.

i guess i'm like a bad penny. always turning up.

i guess death is kind of a spectrum.

did you think i had forgotten you?

changes of heart are my superpower.

aren't you happy to see me?

are you going to make me do a ted talk about my devious inner world?

it's hard to forgive what you've turned me into.

didn't you try to forget me?

your vitals are not so vital.

i did nothing but want you.

this mirror is gaslighting me.

you never really know where anybody is.

is this a dream? where am i?

i think this is a crime in several states.

it's not the prayer, it's the things you do to move the prayer along that give the prayer a fighting chance.

faith is not about argument.

i want my death to be helpful, even if it turns out it's not. i want to try to be helpful.

did you really die?

are you joking? sometimes i can tell, but not always.

we were each other to each other. not everyone can say that.

i'm sorry that i failed you.

is there something you'd like to share with the class?

you're going to carry me?

i'm a lot of things i didn't tell you.

life is a tough room.

where would we be without music?

i think i should be wearing sunglasses.

hang on. i'm going to sweep you off your feet.

sorry if i resemble a swamp person.

it's not haunted or anything.

i don't keep the shotgun loaded.

if anything seems not to work, just kick it, smack it, or unplug it then plug it back in.

now would be the time to cry.

i have an extra shirt you can wear.

here with you. this is my home.

the dead prefer the company of the living.

do we have a safe word?

you have a lot of weird knowledge.

i know this is too soon, but i do believe i love you.

don't you love farce?

my bad. i thought that you'd want what i want.

i want you in the world, where you belong.

i'm just a bump in your road.

i will miss your rogue and random energy.

tell people i was fun.

listen to me. everything is going to be okay.

you're just going to leave me here?

i realize it's over, but i can't let go.

[againstsquares]

send ♫ ( music note ) in and I'll make a 3-10 song long playlist for our muses

[againstsquares]

bottoms (2023) sentence starters.

we've looked like shit for years, and we are developing.

we're finally hot. at least, according to me.

nobody's going to want to fuck me this year, just like nobody wanted to fuck me last year or the year before.

i've been building tension.

i'm playing the long game with her, okay?

what the fuck happened to her?

that made me so sad. what?

i don't need this negative, really sad attitude. please.

what the fuck are you wearing?

nobody hates us for being gay. everyone hates us for being gay, untalented, and ugly.

oh my god, she ate shit is what happened.

she ate literal shit? what the fuck?

or did you get beat up again?

yeah, we went to juvie.

i don't want to say it, but we're fucked!

why do you always have to flirt with other women?

it doesn't count if they're not in high school.

would you like a safety ride?

i'm sorry that i looked at mrs. reilly and lightly grazed her left tit, alright?

don't talk to me, you ugly bitch, okay? i do not talk to girls in overalls.

okay, i might be ugly, but these aren't overalls.

you're being really mean right now.

i heard you, like, beat up my boyfriend last night?

maybe i SHOULD buy a gun.

what? don't buy a gun. nobody said buy a gun.

guys do that all the time, okay? that's the point of feminism.

that's not the point of feminism. you also don't care about feminism.

why would you lie to me?

so you killed a girl?

i know how to take a punch.

i was thinking, if they were coming at me with, like, swords and, like, knives, and like, guns and stuff, and you taught me how to punch like that, then i wouldn't die.

can i be honest? you're a person who's not coping with what's going on.

sometimes, when you have a new hobby, don't show up.

that's my favorite way to be an ally. you just say you're doing something, and then you don't do any of those things.

my dad left me, and i'm incredibly punctual.

i'm gonna finally reverse-stalk my stalker.

i'll be able to kill my stepdad.

i love talking about my trauma.

i literally jack off after every single therapy session.

yeah, well, all women are hot to me.

we had to just, like, fight people, sometimes to the death.

i still hear their screams at night, and that guilt will probably shackle me forever.

i realize now, i don't have to be that person anymore. i don't have to just let things happen to me.

i just get the hot people confused. jesus.

i can't answer that question, because i don't know how to read.

no, i would never cheat on you again, okay?

what about, like, a bomb? like a super small bomb. they're super easy to make.

yeah, let's do terrorism.

don't get distracted, 'cause we can be fined like $2 for this.

i really value when people use violence and raise their voices for me. it's actually one of my love languages.

no, leave the skin on his face, will you?

i'm not a fucking idiot. i just look like this.

man, i knew women were evil.

all of the blame just goes on me, then? like, none of this can be traced back to you at all?

i didn't want to do this from the beginning. you know that.

does it even matter? do you even care? do you actually like her? do you care about anyone other than yourself?

do you care about anyone other than yourself?

just find some other girl to jack off to and do nothing about.

if you don't wanna borrow firearms, then why are you here?

sorry, people didn't know you're gay?

i never had many friends, and that's sad. and as i've gotten older in this world, it's just gotten more sad.

okay, well, obviously, why would you lay it out like that? because it sounds insane.

i'm sorry for saying that you have no friends really loud in front of all of your friends.

i'm sorry for being an asshole a lot of the time. most of the time. all of the time.

that is obviously a red flag. are we not reading that as a red flag? that's crazy.

oh, now you want a bomb.

in your fucking dreams, which you don't deserve to have. when you sleep, it should just be like, total darkness.

i do want to say... i feel like you killed that guy.

we killed a lot of guys. we'll process it later.

you didn't have to start a whole fight club just to date me. you could have just talked to me.

[againstsquares]

SMITTEN THEY ARE SMITTEN.... they are so stupid for each other it makes me emotional to think abt.... this makes me cry ally its making me cry

once a month i have to fall down on the floor thinking of mara/ben. can we believe (we still can't) that liene and i accidentally designed ocs who are perfect for each other in every way that could possibly matter to a human (rat city boy who could be fixed by a girl looking at him with her big big beautiful hazel deep-in-fuckass-love eyes and also the location of a really good taco truck x 28-year-old teenage girl who somehow feels like her older better self again by the power and love of being looked at like she's said the most meaningful thing in the world every time she so much as rants about some bitch she saw on the street today)