agathaspostsstuff

[agathaspostsstuff]

Agatha: What's your biggest fear?

Bierce: I am incredibly arachnophobic.

Agatha, whispering: ...You don't want spiders to get married?

[agathaspostsstuff]

Doug: Did Evans just tell me he loved me for the first time?

Bierce: Yeah, he did.

Doug: And did I just do finger guns back?

Bierce: Yeah, you did.

[agathaspostsstuff]

Lucky: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Lucky: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

[agathaspostsstuff]

Doug: Good news, I didn't screw up!

Bierce: ...

Doug: ..I screwed up less badly than usual!

Bierce: ...

Doug: ...Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.

[agathaspostsstuff]

Malak: Punch me in the face.

Bierce: ...Punch you?

Malak: Yes, punch me, didn't you hear me?

Bierce: I always hear 'punch me in the face' whenever you speak but it's usually just subtext.

[agathaspostsstuff]

*Bierce is talking about her past*

Bierce: I guess it was that day I came home to a cold, empty house, devoid of light and love, and I knew then that my sorrows would only grow.

Doug: ...Bierce, this is the saddest life story I have ever heard, and you haven't even covered the teen years!

Evans: Oh, I'm sure it gets better!

Bierce: Ahaha! No, at thirteen, things really took a turn for the worst.