I just really love those hand jokes.
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AKT 28: Schwanengesang
“I’m sorry… […] if I disappear… this heart shard…will return”
“The depths of despair… why is it so calm I wonder…[…] There’s nothing here…not even love… All is left is to dance until death ”
Both swans fall into desperation. Like a song sang before departing, they dance one last time while an apology is whispered in their hearts.
…someone will reach out, for sure
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Hindsight is 20/20
(in which Simon travels back in time to stop himself from getting a brain scan)
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This is how that scene went right
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This first thing I thought when I woke up from surgery was I am so hungry and I need ramen right now! but the second thing I thought was Oh my god, I'm safe.
I was safe.
I thought about having kids someday, but the thought was always divorced from the concept of having to grow them in my body. Whenever I thought about it, I would either start screaming or my mind would shut down. My worst nightmares featured discovering I was pregnant, and realizing I would have to keep it, and go through childbirth. I was terrified.
I got the surgery, and realized I was safe, and I never had those nightmares ever again. It was like finding out I was bulletproof.
Later, I looked at the broken condom, and I didn't see my life flash before my eyes. I didn't see my hopes and dreams turn to ash as I pivoted all my energy into a child I didn't want. I didn't see a possibility of starvation or homelessness because my already modest income went to a child I couldn't afford. I didn't see my disabled body becoming further disabled, or killed, by a pregnancy that I didn't want.
Read more between the pages commentary: https://www.patreon.com/posts/68216364 (free post, no paywall)
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ALICE: MADNESS RETURNS, 2011
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