aitathrowawayacc69

[aitathrowawayacc69]

i just saw this 💔 i took a break from tumblr for my mental health

i'll reply anyway, i guess

1. it is not b&w thinking. i knew who she's friends with and in what circles she is, friend groups where people used slurs for trans people for laughs. it wasn't a problem for her. it wasn't very healthy or nuanced

2. yes, she did tell me she ignores DNIs, because she doesn't care and there's no harm in it as long as the person doesn't know. i find it weird, because what's the point of interacting with people that would absolutely despise you if they knew about something that is a significant part of your personality?

3. i didn't break it off, she did. we kept having disagreements over things (including this) and it reached the tipping point

4. she soft-blocked me to break the mutualship. she does, however, know that i'm the nosy type of person, so knowing her it was definitely on purpose

5. she is not over me in the slightest. in fact, she's very weird about me. last i heard, she was still talking to people about me, and making vague posts about me

6. maybe she did "grow fond" of it because of me, but it's a very... interesting type of fond. she doesn't show any interest in it beyond things that would make me mad. she doesn't know many things about it and is, by self-admission, not interested in learning them. that doesn't sound like a genuine interesting in something. not to me, anyway

7. the "radical" part was because that's what she identifies as. as i said, she calls herself a radical feminist and wholeheartedly agrees with all the "radical" parts of it

8. yes, she claims to be normal. however, as i also said, there have been weird moments, such as seeing "he/him" in someone's bio and immediately assuming the person is AFAB. it didn't ping as outright transphobic to me, but it does seem weird, at least to me. my first thing when i see somebody's pronouns in their bio isn't about their genitals, but maybe that's just me

9. i wouldn't say it's all unreliable narration because some things i know for a fact, either because of her posts, because of what she told me herself, or what people who are still in touch with her told me

10. i called her views questionable because, well, a lot of them are radical. such as "everyone who ever watched porn is an incel". it is radical, and many people find it questionable—myself included

11. important clarification: i did not "inform" her friends based about my assumptions. i said it in my ask, but i just send them links to what was on her blog and asked them to take a look

12. i'm neurodivergent myself, and so is she (adhd, not autism), and i wouldn't say this all happened because she's neurodivergent. her neurodivergence manifests in different ways that i don't see the point in bringing up because they're not relevant to this conversation and are totally harmless

13. no, the posts weren't to inform anyone. in many cases sans one she didn't mention them by names, it was just venting into the void and i knew who she was talking about bases on context clues

14. she didn't delete the posts because, even though i sent that information through asks, none of the blogs posted my asks (presumably, because they didn't wanna get into controversies). they all made a separate post like "thank you, anon, i blocked her" (usually, it would be deleted in a couple hours). i'm not sure if she saw those. a couple of them immediately made a PSA that terfs aren't welcome on their blogs, though

15. now this part i have no knowledge on in this specific situation, but she is the type to stalk people. she stalked some of our ex-friends who blocked her, she stalked her ex who also blocked her, etc. she sent me links to their posts (to discuss how they're doing) years after they blocked her

about your tags:

i wouldn't have done all that if it weren't for the interest part of it, as i admitted in my ask. therefore... it's fair to say that i wouldn't do that to other friends, because of the interest part, mostly. and also because i literally wouldn't have the means to do that—none of my other friends hold such views

AITA if

i had a falling out with this friend of mine, who is also a tumblr user. there have been a lot of reasons for that, and one of the many-many reasons were her political views, that are generally considered questionable by people around here. people usually wanna know if the person they're interacting with is that type of a person. disclaimer: she's not like. A Bigot. or something. it's just that a lot of people are uncomfortable interacting with someone who holds those views.

she's like, not exactly open about them but reblogs a ton from people who are and made a couple posts that make them obvious.

however, she likes interacting with all kinds of people despite their DNIs and stuff, because she thinks there's no harm as long as they don't know, even if it's all on her blog.

now, to the aita part. we don't follow each other anymore but tumblr recommends her posts to me a lot, perhaps because we used to be mutuals/i have some of her posts liked and i cba to go through all my likes to unlike them. no, i don't wanna block her because i don't block people. as a matter of principle. i tried filtering her username out but i end up always clicking on the post anyway. i'm one nosy bitch, what can i say?

sometimes, she posts about my hyperfixation. something that is very dear and important to me. i don't know the reason why she's doing it because she knows nothing about it and doesn't care about it, but sometimes she makes throwaway comments "based on what she heard" (so, based on what I told her while we were still friends).

and for every time she does so that i end up seeing (happened like 5ish times now), i send one of her mutuals who would be uncomfortable interacting with her had they known about her views an anonymous ask about it. i don't leak anything personal that she'd told me or anything of the sort, i just link the accounts of people she reblogs from and some of her posts on the topic like "hey, take a look at that". each time, it results in the person blocking her and thanking me for telling them in a separate post.

on one hand, i'm technically doing the right thing, since these people hate interacting with people like her, and they just didn't browse her blog enough to know that that's the kind of person she is, even though it's all open source. they're grateful i told them, too.

on the other, i'm doing it for incredibly childish and selfish reasons. had i not seen her bring my hyperfixation up, i wouldn't have done that because i'm not mother theresa like that. but for that reason, it brings me immense satisfaction to do so. especially when she posts stuff like "omg, (name) blocked me... why" and has no clue why. in my mind, it's punishment for touching something that i consider My Thing. i kind of want her to someday understand what's going on, even if it's stupid and territorial of me. like that's what's gonna continue happening if you continue touching My Thing, not giving it the respect it deserves at that too. as i've said, she only regurgitates the stuff i told her because she doesn't care about it. i have a suspicion she's only doing it to piss me off in case i still visit her blog. no idea but it does piss me off. and doing what i described really calms me down.

so, aita?

[aitathrowawayacc69]

more info: i'll just insert what i said in the replies here if that's allowed because someone was curious about that part as well. sorry for the messiness, mod 💔

AITA if

i had a falling out with this friend of mine, who is also a tumblr user. there have been a lot of reasons for that, and one of the many-many reasons were her political views, that are generally considered questionable by people around here. people usually wanna know if the person they're interacting with is that type of a person. disclaimer: she's not like. A Bigot. or something. it's just that a lot of people are uncomfortable interacting with someone who holds those views.

she's like, not exactly open about them but reblogs a ton from people who are and made a couple posts that make them obvious.

however, she likes interacting with all kinds of people despite their DNIs and stuff, because she thinks there's no harm as long as they don't know, even if it's all on her blog.

now, to the aita part. we don't follow each other anymore but tumblr recommends her posts to me a lot, perhaps because we used to be mutuals/i have some of her posts liked and i cba to go through all my likes to unlike them. no, i don't wanna block her because i don't block people. as a matter of principle. i tried filtering her username out but i end up always clicking on the post anyway. i'm one nosy bitch, what can i say?

sometimes, she posts about my hyperfixation. something that is very dear and important to me. i don't know the reason why she's doing it because she knows nothing about it and doesn't care about it, but sometimes she makes throwaway comments "based on what she heard" (so, based on what I told her while we were still friends).

and for every time she does so that i end up seeing (happened like 5ish times now), i send one of her mutuals who would be uncomfortable interacting with her had they known about her views an anonymous ask about it. i don't leak anything personal that she'd told me or anything of the sort, i just link the accounts of people she reblogs from and some of her posts on the topic like "hey, take a look at that". each time, it results in the person blocking her and thanking me for telling them in a separate post.

on one hand, i'm technically doing the right thing, since these people hate interacting with people like her, and they just didn't browse her blog enough to know that that's the kind of person she is, even though it's all open source. they're grateful i told them, too.

on the other, i'm doing it for incredibly childish and selfish reasons. had i not seen her bring my hyperfixation up, i wouldn't have done that because i'm not mother theresa like that. but for that reason, it brings me immense satisfaction to do so. especially when she posts stuff like "omg, (name) blocked me... why" and has no clue why. in my mind, it's punishment for touching something that i consider My Thing. i kind of want her to someday understand what's going on, even if it's stupid and territorial of me. like that's what's gonna continue happening if you continue touching My Thing, not giving it the respect it deserves at that too. as i've said, she only regurgitates the stuff i told her because she doesn't care about it. i have a suspicion she's only doing it to piss me off in case i still visit her blog. no idea but it does piss me off. and doing what i described really calms me down.

so, aita?

[aitathrowawayacc69]

for everyone asking for info on her views in the replies: she's a radical feminist. the only reason i'm not calling her a terf/bigot is because she claims she's normal about trans people and to my knowledge has never done anything outright transphobic (there were definitely some weird moments though) and that's a pretty heavy accusation to throw around. maybe i'm biased because we used to be friends and, idk, i don't wanna think that i have spent so much time being friends with someone like that. might be a mistake on my part calling it political but i couldn't think of a better word lmao, ESL here.

but it's still something that makes a lot of people (myself included) iffy, mostly because she has no problem interacting with people that are outright transphobic because she's not bothered by their views even if they supposedly disagree.

AITA if

i had a falling out with this friend of mine, who is also a tumblr user. there have been a lot of reasons for that, and one of the many-many reasons were her political views, that are generally considered questionable by people around here. people usually wanna know if the person they're interacting with is that type of a person. disclaimer: she's not like. A Bigot. or something. it's just that a lot of people are uncomfortable interacting with someone who holds those views.

she's like, not exactly open about them but reblogs a ton from people who are and made a couple posts that make them obvious.

however, she likes interacting with all kinds of people despite their DNIs and stuff, because she thinks there's no harm as long as they don't know, even if it's all on her blog.

now, to the aita part. we don't follow each other anymore but tumblr recommends her posts to me a lot, perhaps because we used to be mutuals/i have some of her posts liked and i cba to go through all my likes to unlike them. no, i don't wanna block her because i don't block people. as a matter of principle. i tried filtering her username out but i end up always clicking on the post anyway. i'm one nosy bitch, what can i say?

sometimes, she posts about my hyperfixation. something that is very dear and important to me. i don't know the reason why she's doing it because she knows nothing about it and doesn't care about it, but sometimes she makes throwaway comments "based on what she heard" (so, based on what I told her while we were still friends).

and for every time she does so that i end up seeing (happened like 5ish times now), i send one of her mutuals who would be uncomfortable interacting with her had they known about her views an anonymous ask about it. i don't leak anything personal that she'd told me or anything of the sort, i just link the accounts of people she reblogs from and some of her posts on the topic like "hey, take a look at that". each time, it results in the person blocking her and thanking me for telling them in a separate post.

on one hand, i'm technically doing the right thing, since these people hate interacting with people like her, and they just didn't browse her blog enough to know that that's the kind of person she is, even though it's all open source. they're grateful i told them, too.

on the other, i'm doing it for incredibly childish and selfish reasons. had i not seen her bring my hyperfixation up, i wouldn't have done that because i'm not mother theresa like that. but for that reason, it brings me immense satisfaction to do so. especially when she posts stuff like "omg, (name) blocked me... why" and has no clue why. in my mind, it's punishment for touching something that i consider My Thing. i kind of want her to someday understand what's going on, even if it's stupid and territorial of me. like that's what's gonna continue happening if you continue touching My Thing, not giving it the respect it deserves at that too. as i've said, she only regurgitates the stuff i told her because she doesn't care about it. i have a suspicion she's only doing it to piss me off in case i still visit her blog. no idea but it does piss me off. and doing what i described really calms me down.

so, aita?