ajann3shi

[ajann3shi]

2018 February 26 - Growth

Went to jogging Sunday morning. Then nong pauwi na ako, i met an old man, nagbabike sya may dala dalang madaming saging. Then i saw him struggling sa pag-bike kasi may problem yong isa nyang paa. I told myself ang galing ni Manong. He is trying, and working dispite his situation. So i invalidated my self. Telling myself i have no reason to whine. Or be sad. Coz its harder for others but they are trying.

Then back at home after eating breakfast. I cried while washing the dishes. Coz i remember an offense. As if fresh lang. I have forgiven the offender but everytime i remember masakit pa din. I went to my room played music and cry for an hour. Messaged my ate, telling her im sad. Why daw, sabi ko im just always sad. Nagbigay payo si Ate, last part reminding me. Akala ko ba kay Lord lang tayo.

So ayon, got up and prepared kasi Church day, Leaders Group meeting, Victory Group meeting. I maybe sad but that doesnt stop me from attending church and groups.

Habang nasa tricykle, i realized di naman maiiwasan ang sadness. Sabi nga ni Lord, be joyful. So kahit sad ako, pwede naman theres joy and peace pa din. So hindi ko need iinvalidate ang nararamdaman ko.

Tapos sa Jeep, i red the book for discussion. Masyado akong ideal person(sarcasm) kasi on the way nagbasa ng for discussion namin sa LG. Pero tumatak sakin. Saling growth. Me must not stop growing in Character.

Nakarelate ako don sa Calling na. About kay Moises when he thinks di sya karapatdapat. Wala talent magsalita. Weak. Ganon ako eh. Pero once you are called God will equip you. And you will grow and dont stop growing.

Sabi ni Lord sa bible, yong mga strugle must produce perseverance, hope and character.something into these context. Mahina na ako sa memory. Ibig sabihin lang mag persevere tayo, maging hopeful and grow in chacter. Sabi din sa book na nabasa ko. Problems etc will help us purify our hearts, magbibuild talaga ang character natin and makes us grow. And we must continue to grow.

Ayon lang. Kanina i was so sleepy pero ayoko pa matulog. Now i want to sleep but cant sleep. Anyways may pasok pa bukas.

Last word lang, sabi sa preaching. Pag pinanghihinaan na ng loob. Ask God for his Grace.

Not giving up Lord.

[ajann3shi]

2018 Jan 28 Today

The jogging did not happen.

Changed plan to attend service from 1 to 11 am because i received a notice na may LG at 1pm.

I was on a rushed dahil sa change ng sched but thankful kay Lord i made it on time sa 11 service.

God gave me wisdom and a new hope.

And like what ive said my heart has beatin fast and i dont know why. Nagpalpitate siguro dahil sa kape 😆

Nag open ng tumblr and saw that my previous posts was dramatic and foolish and trying hard sa english like eeew. Gusto ko idelete pero nanghihinayang ako.

Realized I have been serious the whole year of 2017. Emotional, dramatic, depressed, burdened, bitter, numb, i have my reasons and circumstances....but its enough.

In 2018, im still serious pero i must stop sulking, hindi maiiwasan maging emotional pero hopeful instead of burdened.

I was foolish.

[ajann3shi]

[ajann3shi]

2018 Jan 28 My Hearteu

My heart has beat fast.

It's true that a heart can beat that fast.

It could be because of the Iced Tea or the Caffe Latte i had today or someone i met whose my heart has recognized but i failed to notice.

Weird 🤔

And foolish 😆

[ajann3shi]

2017 July 01 What is family?

What is family? When I feel like i have no one. I maybe have shelter but i have no home. I maybe have relatives but where are they. No one speaks to me.

Why is everyday getting heavier? Everyday I cry. Everyday it aches. Everyday it is painful.

Please pray for me.

[ajann3shi]

2017 June 25 My Mother's Memories

I want to cherish the memories i have about my mother. I said i must not cry anymore everytime i remember her. I want that one day,when i can only have smile on my face when i think about her. But after that resolution I saw an old mother with her two daughters on my way going home and it brought pain in my heart. It could have been us,i thought, if only mother is here. Again I became sad. Watching tv makes me cry as well, last night theres a girl on tv who wants to debut as a singer so that her grandmother can see her in the screen, but her grandmother died even before she can fulfill her dream. I feel her so i cried with her. Even simple things makes me cry. And as i try to learn to accept,even after a year had passed, its still hard and harder. And like what they say your bubble will burst anytime anywhere.

[ajann3shi]

2017 Jan 01

Jan 1. In my 33 years, everything that happened to me is a constant repeat. Almost yearly, ever since I can remember, Christmas and New year and other celebrations happen the same, except this year that I celebrated without my mother. I would like to think its very tiring to experience things over and over again, as if nothing in my life improves. Im tired that I want to change the way I should do things. But I also realized that to have reached and experienced this life until today, I am trully blessed. There are so many people in their lives who havent been even able to live up to this age, some are sick, some are struggling, some dont even have the guts to enjoy and celebrate, some are seriously maybe alone. While i feel so alone, i am not literally alone. Im sorrounded by people. Maybe by people who wont love me unconditionally or like me wholeheartedly or maybe some dont even care but the the thing is I have company, comrades and people I can call family and friends. I am more than blessed because of that. Now I just have to change my perspective, change my self, so that i can be confident and happy.

[ajann3shi]

10.02.2016 Today

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), *but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.*

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

*Everything happens for a reason.*

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. *Even the bad experiences can be learned from.* In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

*Make every day count.*

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

[ajann3shi]

08.18.2016 I wish you here

Little things that i see,i hear or i experience that reminds me of you make me think of our past together. I am still as of now hurt that you left. It is a couple of months ago already and I still get sad. Maybe theres no specific amount of time that can really make someone stop grieving. Acceptance is even easy to say. I can say thay I have accepted that it’s your time to go away because your mission in this world is done. But it’s not easy to do, I am still hurting, I still want you here. Or I want the time machine to appear on me and bring me back to those days. So that I can see you face to face, talk to you and touch you. Im in tears and I miss you since you’ve been gone, today and for sure more in the future. Today even the taste of snacks that I was eating reminded me of my time with you. When I was in college I used to study while I have this snacks while I study at my room and you are in the living room watching ‘Meteor Garden’ on TV. I want to go back right now and go outside my room and watch Meteor Garden with you. Talk to you how badass Dao Ming Zi is and cry with San Cai over her heartbreaks. Last night I remember your rendevouz with your friends while you tag us, your kids along. Those were the times. I cant believe they were now just memories.

[ajann3shi]

02.28.2016 - Today

SUNDAY

Attended 1pm service. Topic: Apostles Creed : I believe in Jesus Christ. Forgot that we have LG.

Celebrated the birthday of Abbey and Lizel during our small group at 3:00 pm in Uncle Cheffy. Gave the guitar to Lizel and Passion and Purity book to Abbey.

Went to Guadalupe at 6:00 pm to visit bff Christy for her apartment blessing. Saw my former officemates; Juvy and Mers.

Will be going back to Carmona in a while.

😉

[ajann3shi]

02.27.2016 - Today

SATURDAY Today is my cousin Thesa’s birthday and she celebrated her Beeday at PGH because my aunt just had a bone operation. I went to dentist for the brace adjustment,arrived at 9:30 am and got number 81, was called at 12:00 pm. Ate lunch at 711 Civic Drive. Had bola-bola siopao and nescafe mocha cold coffee. Went to Binan afterwards and nakitambay, naki-internet, humingi ng drama kay superfriend, at ng japanese character tutorial. Biglang naisip magpost sa tumblr ng today activities. One hour naghintay sa pila sa waltermart going to the subdivision.From 7:00pm to 8:00pm. Watched Lip Synch battle PH and thinks that Tom Rodriguez should be the winner but Dennis Trillo did. Anyway congrats because I did laugh. Tonight I’m gonna watch Kill Me Heal Me starting Episode 8. Then sleep when i feel sleepy and I think it’s gonna be soon. 😀

[ajann3shi]

...sorry guys, pasensya na...hindi ko mapigilan...O-M-G..yeah this is just a two-letter reply but xo means hugs and kisses diba? Diba?..im so giddy and kilig right now like ive been twitting and waiting for his reply for a decade and today is the day.LOL..ganito pala ang feeling grabee talaga parang baliw lang..pasensya na talaga kahit late na ko matutulog, worth it naman..u made me happy Marky..i love you forever and ever...hahabels :)) ...#faney life of a #fangirl #09152015 whoo #nobela na to #westlife #forever #kiligpamore #butterfly naman talaga

[ajann3shi]

09.13.2015 - Muni Muni

Sunday Night. 9:53pm Nagmumuni-muni ako while eating Kirei bago matulog. Naiisip ko malapit na ang last day ko sa work. Gusto ko sana magbakasyon muna at next year na maghanap ng new work. 10 years na rin kasi na dire-diretso work ko. Baka naburn out and all so rest muna. Pero narealize ko tonight wala yata ako karapatan I really need to find a new work kasi how can I live without allowance and money to buy my food, pay for my transpo, buy things for me and for Denden? Pano na pang Jollibee namin sa Lopez? I want to buy dress for her and cake for her birthday. Ayun, eto praying ako kay God, sya na bahala sakin work or no work, I believe He will provide. I pray na maibigay sakin yong work na I can glorify Him or if not yet naway kayanin ko financially yong pag tambay ko hehe. Well kapag malapit na talaga anjan na ang realization. Everyday is a struggle bukas work na naman ulit, actually I have so many things I have to accomplish before I leave. Pero with His guidance kakayanin ko naman. Sa ngayon important na ma-guard ang heart ko kasi, its easy for us to fall sa temptation and sin. Kay God lang tayo at sya ang bahala. Happy Sunday.10:05 pm ~ ajanneshi

[ajann3shi]

08.28.2015 Chapter 1: Missing Gospel JD Greear

Gospel is missing because of the fact that we really know Jesus has died and that truth does not live in us and not CAPTIVATING OUR SOUL.

Theres a difference between knowledge and application.

GOSPEL is not a merely ticket to heaven but..the SOURCE from which everything in our lives flows.And produce a type of people consumed with PASSION for Christ and LOVE for others. Following Jesus is not only through obedience but through ADORATION (we obey with LOVE, because we love what we do and we act on love…its always the matter of the heart on how our heart feel, if theres joy in it in everything we do.

How do we learn to love God? Not because were obedient of the commandment but because its our response. LOVE is a RESPONSE. Command can be trully be fulfilled as our eyes are opened to see GODS BEAUTY revealed in the GOSPEL GOD is BEAUTIFUL because of what he had done through JESUS in the GOSPEL. It awakens a DESIRE in our hearts. A desire for GOD (Everytime we see beautiful things doesnt it awaken our hearts? And we will desire the beauty. Therefore if we see the beauty of the Gospel, we would have a desire for Jesus). It is the Spirit of God that uses the beuty of the Gospel to awaken our heart.

1. Gospel is beautiful 2. He first loved us. When we experience Gods love our love for Him grows more. Same as what we experience and feel from other human being. If we felt we are being loved we respond with love until the feelings become mutual.

What is “Real” Spiritual Growth? Fruitfulness and joy comes only from one place: abiding in Jesus.

OBEDIENCE:abide:meno (to make your home in) When were at home things naturally spring up from us.So when were at home in Gods love things(fruits) (fruits of the Holy Spirit) will grow naturaly in our hearts. We shouldnt focus in the fruits. FOCUS on Jesus acceptance of us. We should understand that Abiding in Jesus means understanding that His acceptance of us is the SAME regardless of the amount of spiritual fruits we have produced. And only those who abide produces more fruits.

WITHOUT LOVE, IT’S ULTIMATELY WORTHLESS

God desires a people who desire Him. Paul said whatever we do for God that is not fueled by love for God is ultimately worthless to Him. WITHOUT LOVE EVEN THE MOST RADICAL DEVOTION TO GOD IS OF NO VALUE TO HIM.

Spiritual Giftedness Doctrinal Mastery Audicious Faith Radical Obedience

Those listed do not equal the only thing that actually matters to God-LOVE FOR HIM. GOSPEL has the power to produce love for God in the heart. Religion will tell us what to do and how to love but Gospel alone gives us the power to do it.

HE WANTS EVEN THE PAIN OF THE CROSS TO BE SHROUDED IN JOY OVER WHAT WE ARE OBTAINING.

ITS NOT WHAT WE DO, HOW MUCH WE DO, HOW BIG OUR KNOWLEDGE BUT LOVE IN WHAT WE DO THAT MATTERS. GOSPEL IS THE WAY WE BEGIN IN CHRIST GOSPEL IS THE WAY WE GROW IN CHRIST GOSPEL IS THE SPRING IF LIFE GOSPEL IS THE TRUE CENTER OF CHRISTIANITY GOSPEL IS NOT A TICKET TO HEAVEN BUT THE CORE OF OUR ENTIRE LIFE BE CAPTIVATED BY THE GOSPEL BE OVERWHELMED BY THE GOSPEL

Martin Luther said, we must daily “embrace the love and kindness of God…and daily exercise our faith therein; entertaining no doubt of God’s love and kindness. Lets crave for God more than anything.

Narealize ko sa lesson na ito kung pano dapat yong love mo nagmumula sa puso. Up until now i still disobey God, walang self control baka nga kasi siguro yong pagmamahal ko kay God hindi pa rin ganun kalalim. Natutunan ko in this chapter na yong obedience ko dapat out of love that flow from my heart not because gusto ko lang maging masunurin or takot lang ako sa consequence or its the commandment that i have to follow kasi i want to go to heaven. Gusto ko maramdaman yong desire. Yong malalim na desire na mangagaling sa puso ko na in love ako. Na ay inlove ako kay God kaya ko ginagawa ang lahat ng eto: Yong pagiging mabuti ko, yong pag attend ko sa church, sa small group, pag disciple, pagwowork, pagdiscipline ko sa sarili ko at sa katawan ko, yong pagmamahal ko sa iba. Love ko naman si God eh. At out of his goodness natututunan ko talaga sya na mahalin. Pero minsan hindi ko alam kung ginagawa ko ba ang mga bagay bagay out of love, Hindi ako deserving pero heto anjan ang mga blessings. Gusto ko tingnan ang puso ko kung ung pagworship ko ba kay God, out of love ba ito? Oh yong pagbigay ko ng tithes dahil lang ba sa gusto kong mablessed nia ko. Gusto ko, gusto kong gawin yun ang lahat ng yun kasi love ko sya.,kasi una nia akong minahal.this might not be physical or nakikita ko si God ang mahalaga nararamdaman ko sya. Yong kabutihan nia sakin at sa pamilya ko. Kaya gusto ko gawin lang yong mga ipinapagawa nia sakin kasi mahal ko sya, kasi God is beautiful. Hes beautiful kasi sya ang saviour ko.. It will all start with love. Yong ginawa ni Jesus sa krus kailangan ko patunayan na hindi worthless sa buhay ko. Buhay ang Gospel sa buhay ko, hindi sya nawawala at mawawala. Gusto ko matutunan pano ba talaga mag fall in love ng todo todo.

[ajann3shi]

04.12.2015 I wish Jesus Didn't Say That W1

April 12, 2015 I wish Jesus Didn’t Say That: Week 1 Ptr. Sonny Oaman Vcf Alabang Sun 1pm service

WORD:Matthew 5:43-48

Love Your Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Luke: Gentiles Mark: Detailed Matthew: Jews

Matthew 5:20

20 For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Its always a heart issue when it comes to God.

Matthew 5:43 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 

Leviticus 19:17-18

17 “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him.18 You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

Exodus 23:4-5

4 “If you meet your enemy’s ox or his donkey going astray, you shall bring it back to him. 5 If you see the donkey of one who hates you lying down under its burden, you shall refrain from leaving him with it; you shall rescue it with him.

LOVING YOUR ENEMY IS JESUS WORD.

1.Who is our enemy?

Matthew 5:39

39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. (insult) A. Someone who means us harm.

Matthew 5:22

22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

B. Someone who is inferior.

2.How do we love our enemies?

Romans 12:20

20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Luke 6:27-28

Love Your Enemies

27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

Loving your enemy reflects Gods grace in us.

“Understanding Jesus Love for us makes us love our enemies.”

Romans 5:8-10

8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.

I’m glad Jesus said to love enemies because once we were enemies of God and He loved us.

[ajann3shi]

03.15.2015 Simple Week 4: The Journey

March 15, 2015 Simple: Discipleship is Simple Week 4 The Journey Ptr. Jonathan Ramirez Vcf Alabang Sun 1pm service

WORD: Matthew 28:16-20

The Great Commission (Christ mandate for the Church)

16 Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. 17 And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. 18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Christ Authority: Authority to forgive sins. Authority to mediate to the father. Authority over demons. Authority to send the Holy Spirit. Authority to open peoples hearts and minds (Luke 24:45) Authority to reveal the Father (Mat 11:27 Luke 10:22) Authority to give Eternal life (John 10:27-28) Authority to raise us upon on the last day (John 6:40)

The Great Commission: 1. Go and make disciples v19a make yourself relevant with the people, look for the common ground and engage then.

Romans 10:13-15

13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

14 How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? 15 And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”

Victory Application: ENGAGE our culture and community Tools: Two verse Evangelism & One to One.

2. Baptizing them v.19b Water Baptism: Outward manifestation of internal reality(surrendered our lives to Christ), public declaration of faith with Jesus, to demonstrate what took place in us internally. Dramatize our Death to Sin and Alive in Christ. To be cleansed.

Acts 2:38

38 And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Victory Application: Establish : Spiritual Foundations Tools: Victory Weekend/Victory Group

3. Teaching Them v. 20a Ephesians 4:11-14

11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13��until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.

Victory Application: Equip Believers to minister Tools: Foundation for Victory class

4. Surely I am with you always to the very end of the age v. 20b

Acts 1:8

8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

We will be Witness Jerusalem: Family Judea: Friends and Neighbors and other people. Samaria: enemies

Victory Application: Empower to make disciples Tools: Making Discipleship class & Leaders Convergence

Making Disciples (4E’s)

Revelation 7:9

A Great Multitude from Every Nation

9 After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands,

GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES!

[ajann3shi]

03.08.2015 Simple Week 3 Fellowship with Believers

March 08, 2015 Simple: Discipleship is Simple Week 3 Fellowship with Believers Ptr. Jonathan Ramirez Vcf Alabang Sun 1pm service

WORD: Ephesians 4:15-16

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Paul encouragement and admonition to Ephesians.

What is the picture of a Genuine Fellowship:

1. Growth Ephesians 4:15 grow up in every way. Everything that has life must grow. We are suppose to grow with our: Love for God. Love one another. Love for the lost. Gospel knowledge. Sound Doctrine. Ministry Skills. Discipleship Skills. Leadership Skills.

2. Unity Ephesians 4:16a joined and held together Ephesians 4:4-6

4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

“when each part is working properly”

God has called us to work together with someone He has called us to walk with.

3. Love Ephesians 4:16b …makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

1 John 2:9-10

9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling.

Ephesians 4:31-32

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

John 17:22-23

22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23 I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.

“The genuineness of our fellowship pictures the credibility of the gospel.”