akakiryuu

[akakiryuu]

(本日のクイズです☘ 北原もも | OCHA NORMAオフィシャルブログ Powered by Amebaから)

[akakiryuu]

BABYMETAL - BABYKLOK TOUR 2023 RockView Live : Babymetal delivers first memorable show to Philadelphia fans in four years

[akakiryuu]

Had another dream I’ll likely never have again, or even remember most of...

All I do remember is that by the end of it, I had the most profound sense of relief, happiness, bliss, love... all of the goods, but it wasn’t overwhelmingly intense just... thoroughly and completely woven into every minute aspect of my being.

Also, I’d found the most perfect partner I could ever never imagine, and we’d bonded in ways... at a more base level, it was kinda sorta like how fusions work in steven universe, but so much better and more perfect in ways my mortal brain can’t begin to describe.

[akakiryuu]

su-metal my beloved <3

[akakiryuu]

[akakiryuu]

(☘️どっちが好きー？ 小林萌花☘️ | BEYOOOOONDS SeasoningSオフィシャルブログ Powered by Amebaから)

[akakiryuu]

(ひなフェス　江端妃咲 | Juice＝Juiceオフィシャルブログ Powered by Amebaから)

[akakiryuu]

(大好きな稲場さん！！江端妃咲 | Juice＝Juiceオフィシャルブログ Powered by Amebaから)

[akakiryuu]

(1172＊久々ニーハイですけども 里吉うたの | BEYOOOOONDS SeasoningSオフィシャルブログ Powered by Amebaから)

[akakiryuu]

[akakiryuu]

[akakiryuu]

[akakiryuu]

[akakiryuu]

(1159＊セルフネイル！里吉うたの | BEYOOOOONDS SeasoningSオフィシャルブログ Powered by Amebaから)

[akakiryuu]

(突然登場！ギャルももも☘ 北原もも | OCHA NORMAオフィシャルブログ Powered by Amebaから)

[akakiryuu]

(山﨑夢羽（BEYOOOOONDS）インタビュー「目標は常にスマホにメモして毎日どれだけできたかも記録します」│#タウンワークマガジンから)

[akakiryuu]

After what seems like years, I think I just had a relay of the exact same dream.

There's always a girl.

It's always some sort of convention/conference; some kind of huge gathering of people.

Each time I met her, it felt like meeting a dear friend after having not seen each other for ages.

We always had a great time at this get-together, but never see each other again after, and I don't know why.

This time

I remembered a little bit more.

It was more like rekindling an old romance this time. I think she could tell somehow...

In the dream, at some point, I was looking for something, almost frantically. Some old messages we'd exchanged online a while back. There was a sense of desperation- like if I could just find them, and show her that I remembered, that it might mean something to her and maybe we wouldn't have to last ways again.

I couldn't remember where I'd saved the messages, it was barely on the edge of my memory.

Then something "clicked" into place. I realized I'd been in this situation before when I looked at her face again, and I immediately knew where to find those old mails and contacts.

I tried to tell her.

I showed them to her.

I didn't want to feel like I was losing... whatever our relationship was, again.

I'm sure, by this point, she already knew what I was feeling, what if always felt.

I tried to tell her: that I remembered, that it didn't have to go the same way again, that we didn't need to be closed off from one another...

Saddening.

I'm sure she must have a good reason for it, but it's still so confusing and frustrating. Feeling a strong connection with someone, but they just... just turn you away.

It's the end of this gathering now, and everyone is leaving. I try, at least to keep some form of communication between us. I tell her she can message literally whenever.

But

And as I said before, I remembered a little bit more this time.

But she just smiled.

As kindly as anything.

So incredibly serene.

With a kindness and compassion in her eyes, she just smiled and shook her head.

There was an energy between us.

She came close, and gently placed her hand on my shoulder. We both moved in for a kiss.

At the last moment, silently, she shows me something with her other hand. She's holding a pill of some kind.

She didn't say a word. But somehow, I think I knew- it had to be some kind of amnestic.

Despite desperately dreading what would surely follow, I was somehow at peace with it.

Like we were both riding this huge wave, following the flow of the impossibly calm and loving energy she was radiating.

Somehow I knew this needed to happen, just as she did.

She slips the pill into my mouth, and we share our parting kiss.

There was passion, and there was a yearning, as we kissed. And I felt the pill slowly slipping, slipping, towards my throat.

We hold each other close.

I feel myself swallow.

Now

Once again

Here am I.

Awake.

Missing my dear friend.

Her face now seems as an amalgamation of those of several other wonderful women I've met throughout my life.

But even if I could remember the correct details, it wouldn't help. Because her name.

Her name rests far beyond even the furthest teaches of my memory.

I know I probably shouldn't, but I will.

I will wish.

I will wish to see her again.

Wish that we won't have to leave.

Wish to never lose that connection.

Wish to permanently sear everything about her into my mind.

I know I will try.

Over and over again.

For her to keep me.

I will try.