akelaa

[akelaa]

Send ✎ and I’ll draw our muses together.

[akelaa]

psa -- please take your time.

                    The community has been growing MORE & MORE supportive overtime. Most roleplayers do not mind the length of time that it takes for you to reply to things, which is WONDERFUL!! But, there are still some people who actually do mind the length of time, so please REBLOG this if you are not bothered by the time it takes for your roleplay partner to reply to you, and would much rather prefer them to be COMFORTABLE and HAPPY. 

[akelaa]

Send ✎ and I’ll draw our muses together.

[akelaa]

WE JUST BECAME THE WORSE OF WHAT WE WERE. ( mythology and game based patroclus  . )

[akelaa]

one quote//four lockscreens - the song of achilles

please like if you use please do not repost or delete the caption.

[akelaa]

starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .

‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’

‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’

‘  you are teaching me to love  ’

‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’

‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’

‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’

‘  you are my good days  ’

‘  i have been loved dearly  ’

‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’

‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’

‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’

‘  there will always be another day  ’

‘  there will always be another mercy  ’

‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’

‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’

‘  i am terrified for you  ’

‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’

‘  today i am thankful  ’

‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’

‘  come and get me  ’

‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’

‘  i think i broke again last night  ’

‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’

‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’

‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’

‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’

‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’

‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’

‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’

‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’

‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’

‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’

‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’

‘  this life is an altar  ’

‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’

‘  there is a mountain in me  ’

‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’

‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’

‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’

‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’

‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’

‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’

‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’

‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’

‘  you scare me a little  ’

‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’

‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’

‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’

‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’

‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’

[akelaa]

Send a ❦ if you'd consider shipping our muses.

bonus if you add a type of ship you’d like them to be or a thread idea for our muses.

[akelaa]

word prompts compilation

complies THIS MEME // THIS MEME // THIS MEME

ADD ++ FOR REVERSE

[ attention ] for your muse to touch mine as a way of getting their attention

[ wake ] for your muse to wake mine

[ cover ]  for your muse to cover mine with a blanket or a jacket

[ lift ] for your muse to give mine a hand stepping up or over something etc.

[ kiss ]  for your muse to come up to mine and kiss them without warning

[ run ] for your muse to run their fingers through mine’s hair

[ braid ] for your muse to braid mine’s hair

[ embrace ]  for your muse to hold mine

[ smile ] for your muse to smile at mine from across the room

[ wave ] for your muse to gesture to mine to come closer

[ panic ] for your muse to grab mine’s arm or get behind them in a moment of danger

[ touch ] for your muse to rest their forehead against mine’s

[ weep ]  for your muse to catch mine crying

[ eat ] for your muse to offer mine food

[ hit ] for your muse to attack mine

[ love ] for your muse to touch mine as a show of affection or reassurance

[ nap ] for your muse to fall asleep against mine

[ rest ] for your muse to rest their head in mine’s lap

[ look ] for your muse to catch mine staring

[ seduce ] for your muse to touch mine sexually

[ help ] for your muse to lean on mine for support

[ give ] for your muse to offer mine their arm

[ entwine ] for your muse to hold mine’s hand

[ laugh ] for your muse to laugh at something mine did

[ dance ] for your muse to dance with mine

[ sit ] for your muse to pull mine into their lap

[ yell ] for your muse to calm mine down

[ cry ] for your muse to wipe mine’s tears away

[ dream ] for my muse to share dream with yours

[ nightmare ] for your muse to wake mine from a nightmare

[ surprise ] for your muse to show up at mine’s house without explanation

[ fix ] for your muse to treat mine’s injury

[ sacrifice ] for your muse to get hurt protecting mine

[ guard ] for your muse to step between my muse and danger

[ taste ] for your muse to cook for mine

[ sing ] for your muse to sing to mine 

[ goodbye ] for my muse kissing and/or hugging your muse goodbye

[ secrets ]   my  muse  sharing/confiding  a secret

[ bloody ]   for your  muse  coming  to  my  muse  with  blood  stains 

[ drunk ]   your  muse  takes  care  of my very drunk muse 

[ bed ]  my  muse wakes up in  the  same bed as your muse with little  recollection  of  the  night  before

[ scream ]   my  muse  hears  your  muse  scream  and  runs  to  them

[ trail ]   my  muse  watches  as  your  muse  traces  one  of  my  muses  scars,  asking  them  about  it

[ piggyback ]   my  muse  gives  yours  a  piggyback  ride

[ jump ]   my  muse  holding  yours  up  by  their  thighs

[ carry ]   my  muse  carries  your  muse  to  their  house

[ lighter ]   my  muse  pulls  out  a  lighter  and  lights  it  for  your  muse  to  use  to  light  their  cigarette

[ shot ] my  muse  gets  shot  and  struggles  to  your  muses for aid

[ wound ] my  muse  patches  and  bandages  a  wound  your  muse  has  gotten

[ fight ]   my  muse  stops  your  muse  from  getting  into  a  physical  fight  with  someone  else

[ arrest ]   your  muse  finds  my  muse  arrested  in  cuffs  

[ hospital ]   my  muse  awakens  in  a  hospital,  finding  your  muse  by  their  side,  asking  what  happened

[ betrayal ] my  muse  finds  out  that  your  muse  has  betrayed  them and  confronts  them  about  it

[ nude ] my  muse  walks  in  on  your  muse  accidentally  seeing  them  naked

[ karaoke ]  for our muses to sing together

[ wet ]   your muse  strips  down  to  their  under  garments  and  runs  into  the  water,  motioning  for my muse  to  join  them

[ crawl ]  for  your  muse  to  crawl  into  bed  with  mine .

[ flower ]  for  your  muse  to  offer  my  muse  their  favourite  flower

[ gift ]  for  my  muse  to  surprise  your muse  with  a  gift

[ homemade gift ]  for  my  muse  to  make  your muse  a  gift

[ bestow ] for your muse to give my muse a gift, bought or handmade ( bonus if you add what it is )

[ serenade ]  for  my  muse  to  sing  to  your  muse

[ caress ]  for  your  muse  to  gently  run  their  hand  down  my  muse’s  face

[ caught ]  for  your  muse  to  catch  my  muse  wearing  their  shirt .

[ love letter ]  for  your  muse  to  give  my  muse  a  love  letter  they  wrote  for  them

[ boop ]  for  your  muse  to  boop  my  muse  on  the  nose

[ date ]  for  my muse  to  ask  your  muse  to  go  on  a  date

[ confess ]  for my muse  to  confess  their  feelings  to  your  muse

[ sleepy ]  for  my muse  to  slowly  fall  alseep  on  your muse

[akelaa]

CARING FOR STUBBORN MUSES. for when the person you’re trying to care for insists they don’t need your help.

“at least let me clean the wound!” “you’ll be even worse off if you don’t let me bandage this.” “i really think you need to see a doctor.” “i made you some soup, and i’m going to sit here until you eat it. i can wait.” “your feelings matter too! i can’t help you if i don’t even know what’s making you upset!” “..i’m here if you need anything, okay?” “stop trying to push yourself! you can’t do this on your own!” “listen, i know you don’t want to, but.. maybe you should rest for a while. you’re not going to get anywhere like this.” “i’ll make you a deal: i’ll just get you some bandages, and nothing else, and you stop making a fuss over it.” “how long has it last been since you slept?” “have you even been taking your medicine?” “i know you think you have to get through this by yourself, but you have people here to help you.” “let me take care of you, for once.” “you’re gonna hurt yourself even more if you do stupid things like that!” “i hate to break it to you, but you’re not supposed to do any strenuous physical activity for the next couple weeks, and if i have to personally make sure you don’t every waking hour of the day then i’m fully prepared to do that.” “it’s okay to cry in front of me, you know. you don’t have to carry this alone.” “stop trying to act like you’re not bleeding out in front of me!! this is serious!” “listen, asshole. i’m gonna carry you home whether you like it or not. you’re not in any condition to get there yourself.” “oh my god, why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?!”

[akelaa]

idk who needs to hear this but you deserve as many knives as you can carry

[akelaa]

1OO IMPORTANT CHARACTER QUESTIONS

taken from beth kinderman and nikki walker’s the 100 most important things to know about your character. a good list to help develop a character’s background, personality, and general aspects. 

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

Where and when were you born?

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

What is your occupation?

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

To which social class do you belong?

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

Are you right- or left-handed?

What does your voice sound like?

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

What do you have in your pockets?

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

What is your earliest memory?

How much schooling have you had?

Did you enjoy school?

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

When and with whom was your first kiss?

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Who has had the most influence on you?

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

What is your greatest regret?

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

When was the time you were the most frightened?

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

What is your best memory?

What is your worst memory?

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

What is your greatest fear?

What are your religious views?

What are your political views?

What are your views on sex?

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

What do you believe makes a successful life?

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

How close are you to your family?

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

Do you care what others think of you?

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

What is your most treasured possession?

What is your favorite color?

What is your favorite food?

What, if anything, do you like to read?

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

What makes you laugh?

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

How do you deal with stress?

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

What are your pet peeves?

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

What is your greatest strength as a person?

What is your greatest weakness?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Are you generally organized or messy?

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Do you like yourself?

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

What three words best describe your personality?

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)

[akelaa]

How deep? How deep did you dig the grave? How deep? How many shovel fulls of earth? Did you use your hands? How long did it take you?!

[akelaa]

[akelaa]

Injured/Injury Starters

Injured

“Oh shit, are you alright?”

“Dude, I don’t think you’re alright.”

“Blood’s not supposed to be coming from there…”

“That looks broken.”

“Can you move your __?” 

“Are you okay?”

“That doesn’t look good.”

“Who did this?”

“Did you do this to yourself?”

“How did this happen?”

“We need to get you to a hospital.”

“Do you need to go to a hospital?”

“That’s not supposed to bend that way.”

“Do you want me to look at it?”

“Don’t move, you’ll make it worse!”

“Stop moving!”

“There’s so much blood.”

“I’ll see if I have a first aid kit.”

“Just… Stay here and I’ll get help.”

“How did you even do this?”

“This happened in a fight?”

“Walk it off.”

“It’s not that bad.” 

“I think you need stitches.”

“You dumbass.” 

Injury

“I think I hurt myself.”

“I can’t feel my __.”

“I think my __ is broken.”

“Shit, that hurts to move.”

“I don’t think I can get up.”

“I’m going to try to get up.”

“Can you go get help?” 

“I need help.”

“I think I’m going to pass out.”

“I don’t think there’s supposed to be that much blood.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“I got [shot, stabbed, etc].”

“I can’t walk.”

“I don’t think I need to go to a hospital.”

“I think I need to go to the hospital.”

“Stop laughing, this hurts.”

“My last words better not be stupid.”

“That was a dumb idea.”

“Shit, that burns.”

“I’m fine… really.”

“Damn, I can’t get the bleeding to stop.”

“I got into a fight…”

“I feel lightheaded.”

“It hurts to move.”

“Can you look at it for me?” 

[akelaa]

☛ GET INSIDE YOUR CHARACTER'S HEAD! aka The Excessively Detailed Headcanon Meme

Ask a question, any question! Because I have nothing better to do than to answer your questions. … No, really. I don’t. D:

1: What does their bedroom look like?

2: Do they have any daily rituals?

3: Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

4: What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

5: Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

6: Eating habits and sample daily menu

7: Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

8: Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

9: Makeup?

10: Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

11: Intellectual pursuits?

12: Favorite book genre?

13: Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

14: Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

15: Biggest and smallest short term goal?

16: Biggest and smallest long term goal?

17: Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

18: Favorite beverage?

19: What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

20: Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

21: Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

22: Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

23: How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

24: Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

25: How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

26: Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

27: What is their biggest regret?

28: Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

29: Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

30: Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

31: Most prized possession?

32: Thoughts on material possessions in general?

33: Concept of home and family?

34: Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

35: What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

36: What makes them feel guilty?

37: Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

38: What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

39: Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

40: How misanthropic are they?

41: Hobbies?

42: How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

43: Religion?

44: Superstitions or views on the occult?

45: Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

46: If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

47: How do they express love?

48: If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

49: Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

[akelaa]

❥     𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂   𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒   𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌   𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓   .

a  list  of  my  favorite  one  -  liners  from  the  website  pinterest  . feel  free  to  customize  as  you  wish  !

‵  perhaps  i’ll  write  a  book  of  great  shit  i’ve  done  nobody’s  ever  noticed.  ′ ‵  as  god  as  my  witness,  i  will  never  be  a  victim  again.  ′ ‵  i’m  becoming  less  interesting.  the  world  is  noticing  and  so  are  you.  ′ ‵  you  are  such  a  soft  and  messy  thing.  nobody  knows  how  to  take  care  of  you.  ′ ‵  with  each  passing  day  i  can  feel  my  potential  melting  away  into  nothing.  ′ ‵  everyone  thinks  i’ve  gotten  better.  i  haven’t.  i’ve  just  gotten  better  at  hiding  it.  ′ ‵  i  haven’t  felt  real  in  a  long  time.  ′ ‵  i  told  my  therapist  about  you.  ′ ‵  and  i’m  plagued  by  childhood  traumas.  ′ ‵  you  don’t  need  a  reason  to  save  people.  ′ ‵  and  here  you  are  living  despite  it  all.  ′ ‵  i  can  do  this  .  and  even  if  i  can’t  ,  i  have  to.  ′ ‵  i’m  afraid  of  what  i’ve  become.  ′ ‵  i’ll  do  this  my  way.  ′ ‵  you’ll  be  just  like  your  father.  ′ ‵  i  wanted  to  write  down  exactly  what  i  felt  but  somehow  the  paper  stayed  empty.  i  could  not  have  described  it  any  better.  ′ ‵  sometimes  i  have  a  way  with  words  —  sometimes  words  have  their  way  with  me.  ′ ‵  some  days,  i  feel  everything  at  once.  other  days,  i  feel  nothing  at  all.  i  don’t  know  what’s  worse;  drowning  beneath  waves  or  dying  from  the  thirst.  ′ ‵  don’t  promise  to  live  forever,  promise  to  forever  live  while  you’re  alive.  ′ ‵  you  wear  the  kind  of  smile  that  would  be  cruel  not  to  kiss.  ′ ‵  in  your  hesitation  i  found  my  answer.  ′ ‵  thinking  of  you  is  a  poison  i  drink  often.  ′ ‵  flowers  will  grow  from  by  bones.  ′ ‵  if  i  can  still  breathe,  i’m  fine.  ′ ‵  you  already  know  how  this  will  end.  ′ ‵  who  am  i?  ′ ‵  i  fought  the  war  but  the  war  won.  ′ ‵  we’ll  never  be  those  kids  again.  ′ ‵  they  made  you  into  a  weapon  and  told  you  to  find  peace.  ′ ‵  they  know  you  walk  like  a  god  —  they  can’t  believe  i  made  you  weak.  ′ ‵  a  scar  means  i  survived.  ′ ‵  i  was  not  made  to  be  subtle.  ′ ‵  my  purpose  is  greater  than  my  pain.  ′ ‵  you  will  not  choke  the  divine  from  me.  i  am  my  own  god  and  martyr.  ′

[akelaa]

* twitter meme starters

‘ i refuse to listen to reason, i have to listen to so much already. ’

‘ if i was famous i would just knock on people’s doors and be like hello, yes, it’s me. ’

*eats a snack while looking for a better snack*

‘ taking a nap is always so risky like when will i wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 3 years? ’

‘ i’m wiping the slate clean, so i have somewhere to spill all the blood of everyone who has ever wronged me. ’

‘ horrified that other people have decided to leave their house tonight. ’

‘ to me, the cookie jar is the modern day treasure chest, and you don’t have to brush off  any skeletons to get to it. ’

‘ my morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired i am.  ’

‘ grab your own butt. love yourself. ’

‘ on the moon if you don’t like something you can just throw it upwards into space. on earth if you try to do that the enemy known as gravity gets in the way. ’

‘ my stress stresses me out to the point where i’m too stressed to deal with my stress. ’  

‘ don’t worry, password. i’m insecure too. ’

‘ i should have thought about that? you know i don’t think about things. ’

‘ when you live the bart life you say ‘whoa, mama’ to the good and ‘ay, caramba’ to the bad. ’

‘ i got 99 problems but i’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all. ’ 

‘ i love the sound you make when you shut the fuck up. ’

‘ everything’s my fault when you just look at the facts and information. ’  

‘ why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone. ’    

‘ do you like bad boys? ‘cause i’m bad at everything. ’

‘ i never argue. i just explain why i’m right. ’

‘ if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, i’d just laugh and search with them. ’  

‘ if your family members share one of those articles about how millennials can’t do anything right, consider countering by sharing the page of a below average nursing home or even just a photo of bones with the caption: sooner than you think. ’

‘ yeah, baby, i am an animal in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day. ’  

‘ can i sell my feelings on ebay. i don’t want them anymore. ’

‘ coffee is just baby formula for adults. ’ 

‘ i think i speak for all of us, just in general. ’  

‘ i get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions. ’

‘ can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? ’

‘ do not beef shame me. ’

‘ later is the best time to do anything. ’

‘ trying to decide if i should spend my evening reading a book or browsing social media for two hours in stomach churning guilt while thinking about how i should read a book. ’

‘ if you cannot handle me at my worst, that is fine. i am a powerful and terrifying thing and all should live in fear. ’

‘ people pretending to be cats is fine and cool but if some sort of huge animal wanted to pretend to be people then everyone is all, ‘please leave the bank’. ’

‘ are you bad wifi ‘cause i’m feeling no connection here. ’

‘ in the mood for a hug and 69 chicken nuggets. ’

‘ some times you spend so much time getting revenge you forget about getting retribution. ’  

‘ never underestimate yourself. but also do not overestimate yourself, that’s bad too. ’

‘ you will never be a billionaire but there’s still time to see what they taste like. ’  

‘ i don’t say this to everyone but i will barn shuffle dance on your grave. ’

‘ they will never do a live action reboot of your childhood. ’

‘ i could learn a thing or two from this? thanks for the warning, i will avoid it. ’

‘ you would think that wouldn’t you, always with your thinking things. that’s what separates me from you, the thinking. ’

‘ i’m putting free wifi on my gravestone so people will come visit me. ’

‘ sea shells, or the beach’s potato chips, are free to anyone who can find them. ’  

‘ learning is the fool’s errand. ’

‘ is your name dunkin’ because i donut want to spend another day without you. ’