akelafang

[akelafang]

I just read Left Unsupervised and am now imagining Milena joining a group of bards (to escape from a Velen wedding or just to see the world).

... what? She's almost pocket-sized! Aiden and Lambert will be delighted!

*delighted giggling*

Aiden: Look! I found one! She's tiny! Very kidnappable! Please? *pleading kitty eyes*

Lambert: Why the fuck do I gotta be the sensible one? Sorry, miss, uh, you can go if you want, really you can...

Milena: I think I should rather like to be kidnapped, actually.

Lambert: o.O

Aiden: O.O

Lambert: Really?

Aiden: Victory is mine!

[akelafang]

ah yes. me. my husband. and his 1000 pound horse

[akelafang]

This is giving "my best friend is getting in a new relationship and I don't like their new partner"

[akelafang]

[akelafang]

You can lead a horse to water, you can leave a horse behind, because the horse don't dance and if it don't dance it's no horse of mine

[akelafang]

you bottle Miette??

[akelafang]

So I made a little Geralt and Jaskier on picrew...

[akelafang]

blasting my silly little music and creating my silly little daydreams so i don’t lose my silly little mind

[akelafang]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[akelafang]

The wolf Witchers want- no, need Geralt to apologise to his bard as soon as it's physicaly possible

That bard Has been working his ass off to fix the reputation of Witchers one song at a time and all the Witchers could never thank him enough for that

But ever since the whatever-the-fuck happened at that gods forsaken mountain a few years prior and since Jaskier made that brake-up song (because let's all be honest to eachother here now, it was a break-up song) things have been going to absolute shit, everyone, all the people across the continent went back to their old witcher hating ways

Geralt has to apologise to Jaskier by yesterday

But when day when Lambert was coming back from a surprisingly succesfull hunt he saw him, Jaskier, with a young, white haired, blue eyed girl trailing by his side

Looks like that fateful day Geralt didn't leave Jaskier with only a broken heart

He had to inform his brothers immediately

Or

The Witchers have absolutely no clue how human biology works and now Jaskier has to deal with the consequences of that

[akelafang]

It all began when someone put a contract out on Jaskier. Which—seriously—who does that? He’s just a bard.

Well… a bard who doesn’t age.

And one who has animals helping him with his chores.

Okay, so maybe “just a bard” is a bit of an understatement. But still, trying to have him killed? Incredibly rude.

Fortunately for Jaskier, the one who picks up the contract is Aiden—a witcher who, thankfully, has zero intention of actually going through with it.

Instead, Jaskier and Aiden decide to join forces to figure out who put a target on Jaskier’s back—and why.

Meanwhile, Geralt and Lambert are on their own mission: tracking down their mysteriously missing companions

[akelafang]

@help-help-i-need-an-adult @catscraftsandcommentary @0dde11eth @fandom-junk-drawer @random-apollo-child @thequeeninyellowlace @awitcheress @akelafang @kupocat

[akelafang]

@catscraftsandcommentary @help-help-i-need-an-adult @0dde11eth @fandom-junk-drawer @random-apollo-child @thequeeninyellowlace @akelafang @kupocat

[akelafang]

Today is the day Geralt must face one of his greatest challenges yet. A brutal heat wave has settled in, making sleep nearly impossible.

But Geralt soon discovers Jaskier's brilliant solution to the sweltering nights: sleeping in the nude.

How is a witcher supposed to get any rest when Jaskier is lying there—completely bare, gloriously unbothered, and entirely too beautiful?

All his bard parts on full display.

Honestly, how is a witcher meant to cope with such... sexy adversity?

[akelafang]

[akelafang]

@catscraftsandcommentary @help-help-i-need-an-adult @0dde11eth @fandom-junk-drawer @random-apollo-child @thequeeninyellowlace @akelafang @kupocat

[akelafang]

This is hilarious as is but imagine if they genuinely don't use pet names (other than things like idiot and clotpole) but Merlin realized what Morgana was doing and played along like the little shit stirrer he is

[insp.]  - (in)correct merlin quotes (7)