akemiash

[akemiash]

me: *receives text* me: i should reply to that me:

[akemiash]

In the airport scene everyone is fighting with each other, showing their abilities and knowledge in combat...

and there is T’challa and Bucky

[akemiash]

[akemiash]

GUYS IT TOOK EIGHT SEASONS FOR HIM TO FINISH THIS JOKE

[akemiash]

by It’s the Tie

[akemiash]

spanish and italian: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.

french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever

german: LET'S ADD A NEUTRAL NOUN HAHA

english: *shooting up in the bathroom*

gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck

polish: here have all of these consonants have fun

japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there's three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn't western

welsh: sneeze, and chances are you've got it right. idfk

chinese: here's a picture. draw it. it means something. it can be pronounced four different ways. these twenty other pictures are pronounced the same but have very different meanings. godspeed.

arabic: so here's this one word. it actually translates to three words. also pronouns don't really exist. the gender is all in the verb. have fun!

latin: here memorize 500 charts and then you still dont know what the fuck is happening

sign language: If you move this sign by a tenth of an inch, you'll be signing "penis"

russian: idk man its pronounced like its spelt but good fucking luck spelling it

Greek: so basically we're going to add 15 syllables to every word you know and assign it one of 3 genders at random. Also good luck figuring out where to put the accents you piece of shit

[akemiash]

(inspired by)

[akemiash]

Hey! This is my first fic rec and I will be doing this once a month starting today! I chose my absolute favorites for the first one but I still have a super long list waiting! Enjoy!

Versus - secondstar - Explicit

At age nineteen, Stiles Stilinski was the next big thing, according to The Guardian. It was surreal, not being able to turn on Sky Sports without hearing his name mentioned along with the names of players he grew up idolizing. Stiles couldn’t believe that this was his life.

You can’t dodge Stiles Stilinski - stilinskisparkles - Explicit

“And this is it?” he points at the first girl. “I saw you in first period, you barely bothered to catch any of the balls you were tossed. I’m pretty sure you spent more time on your cell.”

The girl rolls her eyes, and looks completely unashamed of the fact she had her phone out in class. Derek knows Finstock would have stepped on it.

“And you,” he points at the second girl, taller and with eyes that meet Derek’s coolly. “You can’t throw anything worth half a damn. And what are you,” he points at the boy, trying not to look him in the eye, and failing. “A hundred and fifty pounds wet?”

The boy smirks at him, and Derek looks resolutely away. He’s now desperately trying not to picture him wet.

“I can’t work with this.”

Move a Mountain - zainclaw - Explicit

Stiles goes camping with his friends in New Mexico after graduation where they befriend a biker gang led by Derek: a guy whom Stiles can’t decide if he will be either relieved or devastated to never see again once their week is up.

Gravity’s got nothing on you - zosofi - Explicit

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Pretty Melody - thepsychicclam - Explicit

Stiles hasn’t seen Derek in six years, so when he shows up at the bar where Stiles works, claiming to be some indie rock star, Stiles can’t believe it. Stiles has even more trouble believing that he and Derek are about to have a one night stand.

Soon one night turns into two and three, and seeing Derek causes old wounds to open for Stiles. As Stiles reconnects with Derek, he finds himself painting things he’s been avoiding, and he thinks maybe he’ll finally start to heal.

Enemy Lines - qhuinn - Explicit

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

Sense of Home - sinyhale - Explicit

Home can be a place, but it can also be a person.

After the events with the Nemeton, Stiles starts suffering the consequences of their sacrifice. A journey he attempts to make on his own, but only becomes worse with every step he takes. In the process he seeks comfort in an unexpected place and it draws him toward an unexpected person.

Illuminated - zainclaw - Teen and Up

“Because I’m falling in love with you and it’s scaring the hell out of me.”

Your Majesty - grimm - Explicit

It wasn’t like he was a pro or whatever, but like any teenage boy he’d spent a lot of time jerking off, and there were a lot of people on the internet that liked watching that sort of thing. And while the idea of doing actual porn - like, porn with another person’s dick in his ass porn - kind of made him uncomfortable, jerking off by himself in front of a camera sounded okay. If you’re good at something, never do it for free, right?

Eat, Knot, Love - pandabomb - Explicit

Stiles Stilinski, an omega and teenage nobody, is going into heat very soon.

Alpha Derek Hale takes notice.

No Homo - RemainNameless - Explicit

Stiles’ sophomore year starts something like this: 3 FourLokos + 1 peer-pressuring cat - 1 best bro to end all best bros = 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads “str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic”. Derek is the fool who replies.

Want is a dangerous thing - grimm - Explicit

It was bad enough that Derek was so terrible at meeting people that he had to buy himself a mate, but it was even worse that his mother called a pack meeting about it. Laura was never, ever going to let him live this down.

Dude, Werewolves - mysecretashes - Explicit

Stiles gets partnered with Cora for a history project, and they become bros. Also, he kind of falls in love with her older brother, Derek.

Permanent Fixture - linksofmemories- Explicit

Derek is Scott’s older brother. Stiles is Scott’s best friend. Derek is falling in love with Stiles. This is a bit of a problem.

DILF - twentysomething - Explicit 

“Today is Scott’s first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified.”

Prince Among Wolves - tylerfucklin - Explicit

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

The Company I Keep - secondstar - Explicit

Stiles has a favorite table at the library. Then some asshole comes along and steals it from him.

the lunch table configuration - thepsychicclam - Explicit

When Isaac makes Derek switch lunch tables, the last thing Derek expected was to fall for Stiles.

Professional Misconduct - Habernero - Explicit

Stiles gets a massage. And then some.

Alternatively: in which Stiles’ mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.

Kaleidoscope - Vendelin - Explicit

Stiles spends a year before college working at the all-night coffee shop in town. It’s nice and quiet, until one dark and brooding Derek starts coming in every morning, ordering coffee so strong that it should not be fit for human consumption. Ever. Stiles tries not to be affected by the mystery guy, but it’s not like anything else happens around here, so really, what did you expect? And when he’s already in too deep, he realises he might even be in way over his head…

Every Step You Take - Nokomis - Mature

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

if you asked me if i love him, i’d lie - dereksstilinski - Explicit

Derek has already typed the entire report out and even got all of the stuff prepared for the poster that Stiles and him will have to present. Derek found that he actually didn’t mind doing all the work when it was Stiles he was doing it for, but he wasn’t going to let Stiles get away completely. He was going to get Stiles to come over and help with the poster, so help him god.

Baking my way into your heart - theSilence - Mature

Derek is an uptight college student, all work and no play. His carefully scheduled life is thrown kilter when his regular barista is replaced with someone new.

Darling it is no joke - thehoyden - Explicit

The first thing Stiles thinks when he opens the door is that it’s not his birthday, but someone has sent him some kind of cop stripper.

[akemiash]

[akemiash]

A Guide to Male YA Leads

Jace Herondale: Imma do the thing

Everyone in a 2km radius: Oh my god are you insane don't do the thing

Jace, bleeding and surrounded by burning corpses: too late

-----

Percy Jackson: Imma do the thing

Sommeone: Don't do the thing

Percy: Buddy, we are surrounded, wounded, and have a 99.999% chance of dying painfully. If you have a better idea, I'm all ears.

Someone:

Percy: Yeah that's what I thought

-----

Chaol Westfall: Imma do the thing

Celaena: Don't do the thing

Chaol: Wha-

Dorian: Bad idea, dude

Chaol: But-

Celaena and Dorian: nooooope

Chaol:

Chaol:

Chaol: *does the thing*

Celaena and Dorian: *frustrated sigh*

-----

Carswell Thorne: Imma do the thing

Cinder: Don't do the thing

Thorne: Please?

Cinder: No

Thorne: But it's the thing!!!

Cinder: DO NOT DO THE THING

Thorne: *grumbles*

Cinder: *leaves*

Thorne: *does the thing*

Cinder: THORNE

-----

Daemon Black: Imma do the thing

Katy: Don't do the thing

Daemon: Why not?

Katy: Because it's reckless, poorly thought out, uncalled for, and has a 200% chance of backfiring

Daemon: Silly Kitten, you're not as experienced as I am. Leave this to the big kids.

Deamon: *does the thing*

Thing: *backfires, killing several people and having the opposite effect than the one desired*

Deamon: Oops

Katy: Are you going to listen to me now?

Daemon: Nope

-----

Raphael: Imma do th- wait Penryn

Raphael: Penryn what are you doing

Raphael: Oh my god Penryn no

Raphael: PENRYN LISTEN TO ME

Raphael: PENRYN

Raphael: I hate humans

-----

Nick Gautier: Imma do the thing

Everyone: hahahahaha yeah like hell you are good luck on your death quest don't forget to pack a snack

Nick: *does the thing*

Nick: *somehow manages to live*

Everyone: wait hold up what

-----

Callum Hunt: So you're telling me that you want to do the thing

Master Rufus: Yes

Cal: Fully realizing this the thing is incredibly difficult and could potentially hospitalize us

Master Rufus: Do you have a problem with that?

Cal: No, no, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page

-----

Day: Imma do the thing

The Republic: Don't do the thing

Day: I don't think you understand just how funny it is that you think you have a say in this

-----

David Charleston: Imma do the thing

Someone: Don't do the thing

David: Why not

Someone: It's a stupid idea

David: Stupid?

David: I have been planning this for the better part of a decade

David: I have this down to a fucking script

David: I have prepared for almost every possible eventuality with four different back up plans

David: AND YOU DARE CALL IT STUPID?

David: WHAT ARE YOU, A PENGUIN IN A MOVIE THEATER?

[akemiash]

let’s hang out - TO THE DEATH!

A SOFTER HAUS (5/?) + SHITTY + LARDO EDITION 

[akemiash]

shout out to all the people who never have money for meet and greet tickets and can’t afford to do a vip ticket once, let alone twice or three times. shout out to the people who barely afford the concert ticket in the first place. shout out to the people who can’t go to the concert at all because they can’t afford it. shout out to the people who are afraid they aren’t going to get to meet the people behind the music that means so much to them. y’all are important as fuck and if i could i’d buy you all the concert tickets you ever wanted.

[akemiash]

fuck

i’m

falling

down

all

these

stairs

today is possibly the last day to reblog this post in its original format. make it count

[akemiash]

I wanna fall in love with a dork. A dork that I can have random squirt gun fights with, someone I can watch movies with then throw a grape at their face and have them pretend to get angry and tackle me. I want to both go to the grocery store and sit in the cart while we push each other around, or throw things in it and pretend it’s a basketball hoop. I want to fall in love with someone that I can have fun with not for a day, but for my entire life. I want someone I can stumble through life with, while laughing the whole time.

[akemiash]

I had a dream last night that Stiles was drunk and went to see Derek and Derek was like, “Why aren’t you with Scott? He’s your alpha”

and then Stiles was like “Yeah, but you’re Beta than him,” then giggled and promptly passed out 

my sub-concious is punny as fuck guys

[akemiash]

[akemiash]

I never knew i needed this until it was finally here.

sense8 + text posts