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"Sometimes while I ride the subway I try to look at each person and imagine what they look like to someone who is totally in love with them. I think everyone has had someone look at them that way, whether it was a lover, or a parent, or a friend, whether they know it or not. It's a wonderful thing, to look at someone to whom I would never be attracted and think about what looking at them feels like to someone who is devouring every part of their image, who has invisible strings that are connected to this person tied to every part of their body. I think this fun pastime is a way of cultivating compassion. It feels good to think about people that way, and to use that part of my mind that I think is traditionally reserved for a tiny portion of people I'll meet in my life to appreciate the general public. I wish I thought about people like this more often. I think it's the opposite of what our culture teaches us to do. We prefer to pick people apart to find their flaws. Cultivating these feelings of love or appreciation for random people, and even for people I don't like, makes me a more forgiving and appreciative person toward myself and people I love. Also, it's just a really excellent pastime."

— Dean Spade, from his essay For Lovers and Fighters

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new ask polly substack has me in shambles

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Robert Henri - Rough Seas Near Lobster Point (1903)

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J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

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James Baldwin.

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Unknown women, ca.  1900, Sweden.

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Glennon Doyle, Untamed

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Waihou Stream, New Zealand by fate atc

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Domenico Fetti, Sleeping Girl, detail, ca 1620-1622

Museum of Fine Arts, Budapest

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Tony Hoagland, from “Dickhead”, Donkey Gospel

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The church of Raron is where Rainer Maria Rilke was buried.

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Heinrich Jakob Fried, The Blue Grotto, Capri, c.1835

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"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

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D. H. Lawrence, from The Complete Works of D. H. Lawrence; “The Rainbow,” written c. 1919

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Respect is not fear and awe; it denotes, in accordance with the root of the word respicere = to look at, the ability to see a person as he is, to be aware of his unique individuality. Respect means the concern that the other person should grow and unfold as he is. Respect, thus, implies the absence of exploitation. I want the loved person to grow and unfold for his own sake, and in his own ways, and not for the purpose of serving me. If I love the other person, I feel one with him or her, but with him as he is, not as I need him to be as an object for my use. It is clear that respect is possible only if I have achieved independence; if I can stand and walk without needing crutches, without having to dominate and exploit anyone else. Respect exists only on the basis of freedom.

The Art of Loving

Erich Fromm

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Cozy summer nights, singing waves, sleeping swans. Sweden, 2024. / anikareisa

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A. R. Ammons, from a poem titled "Shot Glass," featured in The New Yorker