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good morning cnovel readers you are not immune to anti northern/central asian racism

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Speech patterns

I’ve seen several people wondering why in fanfics Lan Wangji addresses Wei Wuxian using his birth name instead of ‘you��� because it doesn’t sound quite right in English (e.g. Lan Wangji saying “I want to protect Wei Ying” to Wei Wuxian). I find it intriguing because it does not happen in the novel or in any adaptation, either he uses ‘Wei Ying’ on its own to call/admonish him or he simply uses ‘you’. So it’s not a translation issue, it’s something that seems to have sprung from the English fandom at some point and spread from there. I’d like to share some thoughts about second and third person addressing and what they say about the speaker’s speech patterns (as always, please do point out if I made a mistake somewhere, this is mostly based on observations not on formal knowledge of linguistics).

Chinese terms of address form a very very intricate system (look upon this and despair) that evolved with time periods. People will address each other and themselves differently depending on various parameters such as their relationship and respective social status.

Addressing someone in the third person can be used as a way to convey polite respect and there are many examples in MDZS:

Ex.1

“请叔父责罚”

[33 lashes scene] LWJ: I ask Uncle for my punishment (audio drama S3E13)

Ex. 2

“咦。你怎么还在这里？”

“兄长在这里，我自然也在这里”

[WWX is about to leave] LXC: Hum? Why do you remain here?

LWJ: Brother is here so my place is here as well. (ch.49)

Ex. 3

“因为，那位秦公子说谎了。”

“魏前辈是如何看出来的？”

WWX: It’s because that young master Qin lied to us.

LSZ: How did senior Wei determine that? (ch.120)

Ex. 4

“多谢蓝宗主给魏某这个机会。” (……) “那么请蓝宗主听听看，这支曲子有没有什么古怪？”

WWX: I must thank Sect leader Lan for providing me with this opportunity. (…) I request that Sect leader Lan listen carefully if there’s anything amiss with this song. (Wei Wuxian is also using here the humble term of self-address '魏某’, literally 'this person named Wei’, instead of the first person pronoun 'I’) (ch.63)

See, it’s not only Lan Wangji, that’s something that polite characters say in certain situations and that includes Wei Wuxian as contrary to appearances, he does actually know when and how to show proper respect.

Notice that it’s always titles or honorifics (on its own or as a suffix to the family name) which demonstrate formality and deference towards the person addressed. On the contrary, using someone’s birth name indicates close familiarity (or even rudeness). So in my opinion it doesn’t make sense in Chinese to have Lan Wangji use 'Wei Ying’ as a replacement of ‘you’.

It’s noteworthy that it is actually Wei Wuxian who does address Lan Wangji occasionally in the third person by using his title, Hanguang-Jun:

Ex. 5

“不是被罚那你没事倒立干什么？”

“可以静心。”

“那究竟是什么，让冷若冰霜的含光君的心不静啊？”

WWX: If it’s not for punishment, why would you do a handstand for no reason?

LWJ: As meditation (’meditation’ is literally ‘to calm one’s heart’).

WWX: Whatever could trouble the heart of the icy Hanguang-Jun? (ch.114)

Ex. 6

“不要吃了。明天买。”

“这不是想给含光君省点钱嘛。”

“永远不用。”

[WWX takes a bite out of an apple dropped by a fierce corpse]

LWJ: Do not eat that. We will buy some tomorrow.

WWX: But this is to save Hanguang-Jun some money.

LWJ: That will never be necessary. (ch.122)

Wei Wuxian uses both ‘Lan Zhan’ and ‘Hanguang-Jun’ throughout the story. During his Yiling Laozu days, it is more to create distance than to be respectful. While pretending to be Mo Xuanyu, Wei Wuxian calls Lan Wangji exclusively by his title with the exception of two slip-ups that occur when Fairy makes an apparition (”Lan Zhan, save me!!”). After it is revealed that Lan Wangji was aware of his identity all along, Wei Wuxian routinely alternates between his birth name and his title, putting them at an equal level of casualness. However, using the title with the third person address is more like a tongue-in-cheek phrasing, it’s Wei Wuxian showing exaggerated courtesy in a playful manner.

The way I feel it, at the heart of it, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are equals and treat each other as such. They respect one another without unnecessary act of self-humbling.

(This is absolutely not meant to be critical of writers who write Lan Wangji’s speech that way, I just find it interesting that this became a fandom trend although it’s not based on the source material and I think it should be acknowledged as such.)

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perhaps it is nothing but a mere fantasy of mine that my mind created for simple self-indulgence, but i can never forget the possibility that felix summoning mc was never an accident to begin with.

it could have been a miscalculation. an error. but felix was so sure that it was rime who came back to the ruins that night, so confident that it was his former lover he was embracing. they felt the same in his arms.

that was the first sign.

he distracts himself with studies after the incident, learning about the dilemma with the soul crisis going on as well as bringing the curious barista back to their world. doesn’t linger on his failed summoning, the whys and hows. there are more important things to do.

so why does he find himself so distracted by your touch upon his skin? the simple brush of your fingers against his when you reach for a book at the same time, when you hand him a freshly brewed cup of tea. every touch sends a pleasant thrill through his nerves, like a shock of lightning. your gaze feels the same, like flames burning hotter than any fire his magic can produce, consuming him even with a simple glance. and your smile- gods, your smile.

then there is the shame. when you ask him something that leads to him, the catalyst of this entire mess, felix feels it creep into his system like a virus. he should be sad, devastated at any mention of that person, because no matter how many years had passed he still loved him.

loved.

felix, despite his laziness and procrastination, is indeed a natural in the field of magic. expert, prodigy, master- whatever fits the shoe. it is in his blood. and he prides himself in being able to do even the most complicated magic with enough blood, sweat and tears.

it took two years of those three things exactly for felix to find himself in the ruins. he was so sure that it would bring him back, so he could embrace him once again. live with him once again. love him. once again.

necromancy is a dangerous thing. felix knows that from experience. bringing back a single soul is taxing and time-consuming in preparation, even for him, so when he is confident, it is for a good reason. he’s dedicated when it comes to the knowledge he treasures so deeply, a love missed so dearly, and felix iskandar escellun does not make mistakes when such things are involved.

that is why he knows, more than anyone, that nothing had gone wrong in the spell meant to bring his soulmate back.

felix is not a shallow person by any means. yes, he would go to great lengths that would be considered immoral for some, but his intentions are always good. he is not the type to throw around trust and loyalty as if it is his schoolbag and he has just come home after a long day in hell. rime was his lover once, his everything, and felix spent two years trying to bring him back. but it wasn’t rime who returned. instead, it was you, a curious barista from another realm entirely.

there is no shame when felix finds himself falling for you through the days. he doesn’t even think about it, doesn’t force any feelings around you. it’s almost natural, like coming into view of the gorgeous snowy landscape while stepping out of the storm and into its eye. he does not regret the light touches of your skin, the shine in your eyes when you see him, the smiles. the rime he loved becomes a memory, a pleasant one despite their current predicament. in fact, he might have to thank him for everything that led to that moment in the ruins.

felix does enjoy a humble brag, but one of his greatest accomplishments that he still keeps to himself to this very day (scribbled hastily onto a faded journal page tucked in between the pages of one of his spellbooks) is bringing his soul’s match to his world. a love willing to cross the realms of the universe.

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did you know sqx and hx reincarnate into cute lesbians and live a happy life :0 ???!!

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felix doodle from a few days agoo

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i have felix brainworms

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I have a story to tell.

I never watched The Untamed (aka 魔道祖师/陈情令 as some of you may know)  nor read the novel, but it really hurts whenever I see a relevant post on Tumblr, Twitter or any other platform, written in English or another language I cannot comprehend, how you can tell the ops are always so enthusiastic and passionate, and how you can just feel even on the other side of the screen that there is something amazing and ineffable in this kind of communication, how it feels, as a fellow Chinese (a still largely conservative and misogynistic country under a hyper-conservative regime), not only having a Chinese work that is well-known and loved by people around the world but more importantly a work that depicts homosexual relationships and is written by a young woman.

Had it not been for the fact that we still hear nothing from the author and it’s been nearly a year and a half since she just disappeared.

For those of you who don’t know the context: Publishing materials depicting homosexual (mostly m/m) relationships (better known as ‘yaoi’) with sexual depiction is almost never legal in China. There was a time when the government was relatively relaxed with this kind of things, and LGBTQ+ themes even made their way to the cinemas (Peony Pavillion, Lan Yu, Farewell My Mistress, to list but a few). And then there came another decade or so, when they had to be published ‘discreetly’, when authors publish zines and books through individual ‘unofficial’ studios (because the censorship process for official publishing makes it an impossibility). 

By the time of 2012 they were common practices, meaning everyone publishing and purchasing knew that it was technically illegal, but given the increasing popularity of this practice (and the seeming acquiescence from the government), the hope of us eventually emerging into daylight was high. 

Even as the political atmosphere became increasingly draconic, none of us really paid attention, just continued on writing, reading, and publishing, because we were just a small sub-group that belonged to a generation of pop-culture fans, and we did no one harm.

Until the end of the year 2017.

When the news of the police breaking into a comic-con and arresting an author right from her stall surfaced on the Internet, when it was reported by the government’s official newspapers as (roughly) ‘a serious criminal case that the police had finally resolved in joint effort, arresting all involved’ (it is hard to deliver the nuance in translation, but basically you only see the same phrasing for drug cartels), the Internet went raving. It happened that the author, 深海先生, was reported by another individual with whom she once had an online argument with. The publishers and several who worked in the publishing studios were also arrested.

I remember the nights I spent sleepless looking at her social network account. I never knew nor read her works, but seeing a young woman at your age, with a normal and law-abiding family, a kind and upright personality, a promising future, and so, so much love and passion and talent for creating beautiful stories, just got her life ruined over personal feud, all for doing something that harms no one, it was enough to break anyone’s heart.

Many people back then had said that this whistleblower just ‘opened the Pandora’s Box’, and they were not wrong. Can you imagine how all those individual publishing studios disappeared almost overnight? Can you imagine how many books just like The Untamed were waiting to be published and read and loved but never had the chance anymore?

It turned out that the Pandora Box analogy was more than accurate. For those of you who live in a democratic country and can’t imagine how this whole whistleblowing works: imagine you’re back in nursery or elementary school, with an extremely draconic and paranoid teacher who just needs to be in control of everything, they told everyone in the class from day 1, that anyone who brought sweets to class should be reported and their sweets confiscated, partly rewarded to the one who reported the incident to the teacher. Even if they know that everyone brings some sweets. How will it turn out? It doesn’t take long for the whistle-blowing to be in full bloom. You may be afraid, you may not trust anyone else. But most importantly, anyone can inflict harm upon anyone for the pettiest reasons precisely because everyone is guilty.

Now imagine in this case, you’re not facing a nursery teacher but a government that can and will ruin your life (and the stigma of a criminal record, following esp. a woman, in an ultra-conservative society) just because you wrote about same-sex love and had no legal way to get through the censorship so had to resort to underground publishing which everyone thought would have get better just a few years ago.

You start to see groups dedicated to teaching homophobic groups how to report m/m romance authors to ‘give them a few years behind bars and ruin their entire life’. You start to see readers threatening to ‘throw the author into jail’ and actually proceeding to do so because ‘I don’t like her work and she is breaking the law anyway’. You even start to see authors reporting on each other out of jealousy.

Another even worse effect of this kind of intimidation is that it absolutely destroyed whatever trust that should have been between individuals. We can leave discussion of Chinese civil society to another day, but let it suffice to say, from my personal experience, that it prevented us from standing up for each other. Many of us harbour the selfish thought that as long as we didn’t speak up for the arrested and didn’t ‘get involved’, the legal enforcement was going to take their sacrificial victim and be satisfied and leave us alone. Even worse, even if we did want to speak up, there still was the possibility that the arrested author would get punished even more severely. It was a kind of mindset the government wants to put into your mind - if you make a fuss, you will harm her even more.

So after some time had passed, we were getting used to the new norm, which, hopefully, wasn’t too different from before - no more mainland publishing studios, yes; arrest not common but now a substantial possibility, yes; the author arrested was later reported to have suffered severe mental breakdowns over the period of detention (and imagine which of us won’t, being in her position, for several years now?), yes; but the writing went on.

It went on for just long enough that some of us were starting to forget about the previous one, when another author, 天一, was arrested in 2018.

She was sentenced to 10 years in prison (her appeal recently defeated and this became the final ruling), in a country where homicide and murder (especially that of women, inflicted by men) typically gets only 5 or even less.

I am expecting possible refutations in the comment section such as that ‘she writes pedophilic stories (one of her protagonist being 17) it’s COMPLICATED!’ ‘It’s not about ALL yaoi writers!’

But she was not charged for that. The judge was ‘shocked by the obscenity and abomination’ in her writings, hence the sentence, but whether it was more because of the homosexual nature, or the fact that the protagonist is 17, I’ll leave it to you to contemplate. She was charged for writing and publishing because it was illegal. The homosexuality (and her being a woman) only made it worse, of course.

Unsurprisingly, there was also a whistle-blower.

By the year 2019, in just less than 2 year’s time, most of us were used to the new-norm. To some of us, the new-norm meant that writing and publishing yaoi could really risk arrest, that writing and publishing smut material involves much hassle because we need to find a place (oftentimes AO3 or other overseas sites that required vpn) to put them and not get noticed by the algorithm.

To some others, it meant the knowledge that you could now threaten anyone you don’t like with a similar fate as 深海先生 and 天一, and there is actually a promising chance of you succeeding, especially if you get the noises up.

Now back to the author of 魔道祖师, 墨香铜臭Mo Xiang Tong Xiu was once acclaimed as a rising-star of Chinese yaoi writing back when  人渣反派自救系统 came out. What many of non-Chinese readers do not know or do not see on a regular basis, perhaps, is how much hate her fame entails. There were, of course, dubious issues regarding her handling of certain materials in her stories, but we can leave that, too, to another day. What goes without saying is that the immense group of haters also consisted of, as I mentioned above, hard-line homophobes and their large following, haters who simply ‘don’t like her work and her noisy fans’, or, at times, fellow authors, out of jealousy. (She was a common target in a forum dedicated to web-novel authors discussing writing techniques and stuff, and the words they use are the ones I won’t use on my worst enemy.)

Well, we think, with the huge success that is The Untamed 魔道祖师, which already had anime, live action drama, and Blessing of Heaven’s Officials 天官赐福’s animal adaptation in the line, Mo Xiang Tong Xiu must be the safest author within the circle. And she may well be, despite the fact that her publisher (a Chinese web-novel site called JinJiang, which has become notorious for exploiting authors to the very extreme), actually claimed full ownership of the author’s writing, the author’s pen-name, so that authors who signed contract essentially have NO say over their OWN works and adaptations and one can only speculate on the division of incomes.

Oh, did I mention that she just left a post asking people ‘not to worry’ and just disappear since May, 2019, with many of her haters celebrating her alleged arrest at the time, claiming with pride that ‘months after months of collective reporting to the police has finally yielded fruit’?

Of course we don’t know if she is indeed under arrest. Best case scenario, she is safe and sound and may be back any time, and you can all dismiss this post as paranoid rambling, which I anticipate will be torn to shreds by some of my fellow Chinese once they stumble upon this for ‘bad-mouthing our beloved country and giving Chinese pop-culture a bad name’.

Worst case scenario, I might have just harmed her unintentionally and irretrievably by writing this very post, and I’d be a bitch just like those haters who seem fixed on ruining her life, because the legal system here don’t like fingerpointing, especially don’t like letting ‘foreigners’ know about what they’ve got behind closed doors.

But it is really painful, thinking of what have been happening these past few years and not being able to speak up, or speaking up and having to face severe backlashes because most people take a utilitarianist approach and decide it’s best to be silent. It is painful seeing that what used to be a solidarity of (dominantly female) writers and readers now turn on each other, some are full of distrust, some write with fear, some blinded by petty hatred and the addictive, empowering feeling that they can ruin a person’s life for good if they try. Some are afraid, some are cynical, some are hopeful, some are still fighting. But what’s the same is that we are all vulnerable now, to a kind of mistrust and hatred, to fear, and, perhaps less conspicuously, to a kind of cynicism that is simply contradictory to what we claim to celebrate - the right to love and love freely.

It is painful because it makes all the celebration of love and sexual liberation almost meaningless, if we so easily make peace with the fact that several innocent young women are suffering at this moment simply for doing what we love doing, for creating the things we love reading. 

It is painful because, no matter how beautiful a story The Untamed and the like is, and how many people’s heart it has indeed reached, how widely an audience, French-speaking, English-speaking, Spanish-speaking, German, Russian, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Vietnamese-speaking, it has, there are actual suffering that lies so close to it and cannot be dismissed from the picture as irrelevant.

Stories are human creations, and their beauty lies in their ability to connect our hearts, across cultures, borders, languages, ethnicities, even just for a moment. But now, if we have to turn our eyes away from the sufferings that contextualizes the creation of such stories, if we allow our hearts to be touched by the story itself but not by what happens around it, then what will such stories become?

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Rupert: Do you ever see something that changes your life and you’re just like “huh.”

Amir: I saw you.

Rupert: Honestly that’s so nice and sweet and it makes this really awkward because i was going to show you this drawing of Joan as a turkey.

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The Two Princes Secret Relationship AU

Neither Rupert nor Amir know about the prophecy

They’re still brought up the same but Amir thinks he’s training to become a good king

Their kingdoms are relatively close together but the forest obscures them from the other’s gaze

They both go for a walk/ride alone one day and the two meet and start talking

They try to meet as regularly as they can, bringing food and books to swap/talk about

Eventually, feelings start to develop and there’s flirting here and there

One day Rupert decides he’s gonna confess his feelings so takes some flowers from the garden

When he gets to their meeting spot, Amir’s set up a cute little picnic and he confesses his feelings

Rupert starts laughing and Amir’s confused until Rupert gives him the flowers and explains how he was gonna do the same

So they have their little picnic and they talk about the things they like about each other and they kiss tentatively

Now whenever they meet up, they kiss in greeting and hold hands and cuddle

Both had been telling their mothers that they were simply going for walks

But then the queens notice the boys are staying out longer, or that food and other things are going missing

So one day, Lavinia sends someone to follow Rupert and Atossa sends someone to follow Amir

And the messengers see the boys kiss and report back to their queens

The boys come home and are told about the prophecy, told they can’t see the other prince until the fight, told they have to focus on training

In the last few weeks until their 18th, Amir trains hard as always, while Rupert learns how to hold a sword and constantly loses his practice fights, much to the dismay of his mother

On the day of the fight, they meet in the hollow

They hug tightly but are broken apart by the booming sound of their father’s voices

They are forced to fight

Amir goes as easy as he can, knowing this is not Rupert’s strong point

He has Rupert backed against a tree, sword against his neck

“I’m sorry my love, I wish it didn’t have to be this way”

“It’s ok Amir. I know it’s not your choice. You’ll make a great king. I love you.”

They kiss one last time, desperate and loving, knowing this will be their last

But then they hear their fathers screaming in anguish before disappearing back into the tree

The curse is broken and love has won

Their mothers find them embracing, having not let go since the fight ended

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I know this might be sad but if one of the boys got really sick/hurt how do you think the other would react ? (They’d get better ofc ;) )

It would largely depend on the severity of the situation.  If it was super life-threatening, they would freak out and try to get help as soon as possible.

Amir Gets Hurt/Sick

Rupert would be better at being objective about it (get Amir help, and then break into hysterics).  He kept a pretty level head when Amir got pinned in the cave in the first season.

He would definitely hover whenever the doctor/physician is working. They would have to kick him out of the room and he’d either sneak back in somehow or pace the floor until he’s worn himself out.

I think he would also try to make himself as useful as possible because if he’s working, he’s not thinking about what might happen to Amir.

He might try to sleep but he wouldn’t be able to.

He’d either stress eat or stop eating because of how scared he is.

If he’s allowed, he would sit at Amir’s bedside.  That would be the only time he could even kind of relax because he can see that Amir’s breathing and at least he’s alive.

If he’s not at Amir’s side, he’s pestering the doctor or the doctor’s staff every time he sees them.

The second Amir’s eyes open, Rupert will be in tears.

He’ll cover his entire face in kisses.

Rupert will be at Amir’s side throughout his entire recovery.

Amir will have to get better about asking for help.

He gets low-key annoyed with how much Rupert is hovering but he also knows that it’s because of how much Rupert loves him.

Rupert Gets Hurt/Sick

Amir would panic because even though Rupert seems like the more vulnerable of the two, he’s one of the toughest people Amir has ever met.  So if he goes down, something’s very very wrong.

It would take him a good minute to compose himself enough to get Rupert to safety.

He would blame himself.

Woe to the unfortunate soul who tries to remove Amir from Rupert’s side.  He’s not budging an inch.

He stays at Rupert’s bedside, holding his hand.  If Rupert’s unconscious/comatose for an extended period of time, I think Amir would talk to him.  He’d tell him stories or recount some memories they shared.

He might cry a little but he would try as hard as possible to put on a brave face for Rupert.

He’d be a little impatient with the doctor/physician, constantly asking for an update or if they’ve learned anything new about what’s wrong.

Amir would doze off in the chair next to Rupert but other than that, he’s not going to be able to sleep.

I could see him getting angry and asking Rupert what the heck he was thinking, putting himself in danger like that.

Cue one of his dramatic monologues that betrays his pain and worry (and how much responsibility he puts onto himself).

He collapses into the chair after this and apologizes.  If he falls apart at all during this ordeal, it would be now.

When Rupert finally wakes up, Amir throws his arms around him, checking himself at the last second if there’s a wound he needs to be mindful of.

He tries to do everything for Rupert while he’s recovering, not even giving Rupert the chance to ask for help.

This annoys Rupert to no end.

They actually argue about it, and Amir reveals how much he blames himself for what happened.

Rupert would comfort him, telling him that it wasn’t, that there was nothing that anyone could’ve done, and Amir finally breaks down and cries.

Then he feels bad because he’s supposed to be taking care of Rupert and here Rupert is, taking care of him.

Thank you so much for the ask!

My ask box is always open!

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Do you have any ttpp fic recs?

Yes!  I had to narrow it down because I like so many of them!

1. Duality - The two princes finally get married!  (The third chapter is explicit though, so be warned!)

2. 3 Short Months - Takes place between seasons 1 and 2.  Definitely one of my favorites!

3. Head Full of Straw - Angsty for sure.  Rupert and Amir overhear Lavinia talking smack about her son and Rupert doesn’t take it well.

4. Bedchamber, Singular - Rupert realizes that after the wedding, he and Amir will be sharing a bed.

5. I Can’t Wait for You to be My Husband - VERY fluffy and sweet.  The princes relax together after a long day.

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Ok have you listened to the song “Kristofs lullaby” from the frozen broadway soundtrack? I have a head cannon that all of his words were exactly what Amir was thinking when he realized that he was in love with Rupert. :)

Ok so I’d never heard this song before but it is. so sweet! I’m imagining that Amir realises at some point during the waterfall scene, maybe their talk afterwards, and he’s just piecing together all the reasons he likes Rupert. Anyway, here’s my interpretation of the lyrics:

What is this hollow kind of helplessness I’m feeling/This type of terror is new – referring back to earlier in the day when Rupert got caught in quicksand and Amir got really worried – he’s never been that worried about someone before

And the fact the I can hardly breathe is now revealing– in the lake, asking Rupert to move closer, he’s struggling to catch his breath because the closer Rupert gets, the more beautiful he gets

How much I’ve changed ‘cause of you – gets less and less princely as the quest goes on, could refer to when Rupert made him apologise to Porridge

You light the world for me – “but with these last couple days, with you, it’s like I’ve finally had a glimpse of what I’ve been missing, and it’s nice” – Rupert is a whole new perspective for Amir, Rupert sees the world differently and now Amir feels like he’s sharing in that

You live life fearlessly/Braver than the bravest of us do – Amir realises that although Rupert isn’t very strong, and he’s scared of a lot of things, he still came on this quest and keeps surprising Amir with his quick wit

You trust, you hope, you dare/You choose to feel and care – Mainly referring to when Rupert tamed Porridge without a second thought, choosing to be friendly rather than attacking – Amir admires this

I thought I was strong till I bumped into you – Amir is physically strong, but Rupert has lots of strong suits – like he’s emotionally strong when he wants to be, and he is strong willed and has strength in strategy – Amir realises that you need more than strength to survive

What do I know about love? – Amir has trained so hard that he never had time for romance, probably not even for a crush, so this feeling is entirely new to him and he’s not sure if he’s got it right

Everything I thought I did/You’ve gone and changed it kid – Rupert has changed his views on right and wrong, and Amir’s impressed

You’re what I know about love – Amir’s never been in love before so this is his first time and therefore, his only reference for what love feels like – but he really likes the feeling

And perhaps if he’d spoken first instead of Rupert, he’d have voiced all of this and Rupert would have melted

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Me (and Rupert) when Amir pretended to work for Malkia just to steal and destroy her amulet

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two bros chilling in a cave five feet apart because.. they’re totally gay but one of them got cursed, lost his memory, and forgot the love of his life 

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Something I thought of while listen to Season 2 of The Two Princes

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modern au where its 4 pm and rupert just woke up cuz its the weekend and you nap but amir who does fencing on weekends finishes up, calls him and tells him they gotta hang out and chill and so they do

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Okay so The Two Princes podcast is awesome as fuck

But I swear to god these boys are IDIOTS. Everyone was like ‘there’s no other way to interpret the prophecy’ but did you even stop to consider that they,, might be gay? And not kill each other? They all talk like the prophecy is worded so clearly but it just says one kingdom and you DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS ARE BLIND FUCKING CHRIST