alaspoon

[alaspoon]

absolute trinity dc - can you tell at what point i gave up? 🤑

[alaspoon]

actually the best part of the new superman movie is the fact that lois and clark have been dating for only three months because that means clark fell so hard he told her his whole ass secret identity in 90 days. fucking u-haul lesbian behavior.

[alaspoon]

Listening to a podcast

"Let's take a word from our sponsor."

*Skip ahead a minute* "You can-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Use code-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "T-shirts-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Motherfuck-"

*Go back 15 seconds*

[alaspoon]

[alaspoon]

Ian and someone 🙂‍↕️

[alaspoon]

Obsessed with the choice of background for this facebook post

[alaspoon]

[alaspoon]

Well shit, the Republicans brought a certain anti-online porn bill back to the table.

The Interstate Obscenity Definition Act.

This should alarm you guys.

[alaspoon]

I don’t wanna be embalmed I don’t wanna be cremated, when I’m ready to kick it I’m gonna get the most inane shit I can think of tattooed to my ass and I’m gonna swan dive into a bog

Good Morning science wizards of the year 7008, we baked with chicken eggs and Tribal Tattoos had nothing to do with tribes. See left cheek for Urban Dictionary’s Top 50 hits

[alaspoon]

beauty standards are so fucked up what happened to i love your body because it's you. what then.

[alaspoon]

ES JUEVES. this is. the beggining of Jueves Jester™

[alaspoon]

tucks you in and kisses your forehead then shows you my knuckle tats that say SEEP TITE

[alaspoon]

My family has absolutely zero spice tolerance whereas my spice tolerance is Kind Of High For A German Guy but I’m also friends with a lot of Indians and Latinos so this leads to me not being a good judge of spiciness level for anyone because at the level it hurts my family I can’t even taste it but I tell my friends something is too spicy and they can’t even taste it so anyways life is a beautiful mystery and I have no concept of how anyone else experiences the mysterious but beautiful chili pepper.

[alaspoon]

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

[alaspoon]

saw an elderly woman walking around with a tote bag whose design were the four AO3 fic category squares and she very excitedly asked if i was a reader or a writer bcs nobody else at the con had recognized it, and after telling her that i've been writing fic since fanfic.net, she solemnly nodded and explained that she'd been reading fic since "the days of personal websites" but that she only started writing fanfic when she was 47 and oh my god when i tell you that i genuinely teared up on the spot!!!!! like!!! HELL YEAH???? LITERALLY NEVER TOO OLD TO START WRITING. NEVER TOO OLD TO WRITE AND SHARE YOUR FIC.

her enthusiastic "i'm a very nice and bubbly person, i swear! but i love writing angst and major character death :)" nearly took me the fuck out.

icon. legend. diva. i wish her nothing but a kajillion million comments and kudos. i hope her fic updates crash AO3. i hope she knows i'm promoting her to my personal patron saint of AO3.

[alaspoon]

[alaspoon]

"oh homeless people are just gonna use your money to buy drugs" and? and?? the government uses my tax money to buy bombs and cops, you think I care if someone in a shitty situation uses money I gave them to feel marginally less shitty? fuck off!