alazarusx

[alazarusx]

"Make me."

"I’ve never wanted to hit someone so badly in my entire life. Seriously. Move out of my way so I can leave."

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"You're sexy when your angry."

"I’m leaving before I punch you in the face."

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"--------cute."

"Don’t call me cute, please. It’s making me want to puke on you."

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"It's cute when you try to insult me."

"Devil horns and a tail are not aesthetically pleasing to me, sorry."

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"Admit it, Eli. You enjoy my company and you think I'm cute."

"Yes I do. I literally hate you. What fluffy bunny rainbow surprise planet are you living on where you think I don’t?"

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"I don't think you really hate me though."

"Do you mind telling me which ones they are so I can learn how to tell you I hate you in every single one?"

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"---Twelve. Why?"

"How many languages do you know?"

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"It's Judas... not Jesus, but okay..."

"Whoa! Not for real, you fucking freak! Jesus!"

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"-----kay."

"Someone just shoot me."

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Texts to Satan

Eli: Don't call me that.

Judas: Okay, Elias.

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Texts to Satan

Eli: Ah, that explains it. Now, do you need a lighter for that or do you just breathe on them?

Judas: ....

Judas: I'm not a dragon, Ellie.

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Texts to Satan

Eli: So, just out of curiosity, how do you get the smell of fire and brimstone out of your clothes? It seems like it would be a bitch and a half.

Judas: I just burn them when I'm done with them.

[alazarusx]

✆ wink wonk

Name: Actually Fucking Satan

Ringtone: This.

Picture: It’s not cute she was trying to eat me.

[alazarusx]

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         "----- I might have mugged an old man."

         Eli stared at her for a moment, completely unable to comprehend what the fuck she could’ve been thinking. “Where did you get this?” he finally asked.