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roy mustang crying over how bad the joint he rolled for his grindr date is while riza reassures him that he’s too pretty to learn he’s just never bought his own weed

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The real antagonist of Fullmetal Alchemist is the nameless Xerxian alchemist who bought a teenage boy to sweep his floors and then was like "hey, I'm going to take your blood to try to play god, you can't legally say no because I own you. If this, say, backfires horrifically in 20 years time, then I guess it's you and your descendants' problem since it's your blood lmao"

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fma villains make me insane, they're like "no actually we can't kill the main characters because we need them alive for our mysterious evil plan" so they spare them EVERY TIME and even get to the point where they start getting in the way when Scar tries to kill them and then when Edward and Alphonse find out that King Bradley is an homunculus he's like "ah now that you discovered our secret, you better keep quiet or else" and Alphonse has the nerve to ask him "while we are waiting for the end of the world, can we PLEASE get on with our quest??" and Wrath is like "yeah sure why not, but stay out of trouble"

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genuinely, the best thing about Roy and Hughes' friendship is that Roy is a brutal pragmatist who is haughty, ruthless, and often cold and Hughes is a goofball who is always friendly, cheerful, and welcoming, but Roy is the hopeful idealist and Hughes is the cynical realist

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There is at least one universe where Mustang has this hanging on his office door.

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I don't think I ever gave Arakawa enough credit for having a running gag where her protagonist is constantly denying he's short, then having him fight the literal incarnation of the sin Pride and win against that sin in part by not flipping out for once in response to mockery over his stature but saying it gives him an advantage in this battle to know how short people fight.

He Owns that He's Short and Thus He Overcomes Pride. It's VERY funny.

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al really is just a Little Guy at the end of the day

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Ed 10 seconds after the failed human transmutation attempt:

An addition to this post

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Alphonse is one of the characters of all time I think about him constantly. He’s a 14 year old boy’s soul stuck in a giant scary suit of armor. He’s a gentleman and he’s kind and he has good conflict deescalation skills but his body is a giant scary suit of armor. He befriends every evil henchman he comes across. He loves kittens. He’s a little shit to his older brother sometimes, as all younger brothers are. But his body is a giant scary suit of armor. Arakawa really popped off with Alphonse

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Automail Maintinence

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I love Hohenheim cuz I don’t think he actually means to be so mysterious and vague I just think he legitimately is bad at communicating and has no social skills

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completely independent and well adjusted woman

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dare i say the only thing that could improve fullmetal alchemist would be (vaguely) historically accurate costuming

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I'm starting a collection