aldritch-ao3

[aldritch-ao3]

hey now!! I’m! Obsessed!! I have so many questions and ideas!

firstly, I’ve been obsessed with Naoya since he was first introduced in the manga cause he. He looks nice. But the sexism got in the way, you know, so I mostly avoided thinking too hard about him up until reading playback and!!! I’m having such a blast honestly,,. Though, this does lead into;

1, I’ve been stalking your tumblr since reading and you mention taking a dream you had and making it the general outline of the plot, but what made you choose naoya? Was that predetermined by said dream, or were there other factors that led you to picking him?

2, polycule from hell: I love it, but was that at all planned? If I recall correctly, back in the chapter you introduced higaruma, I think you mention not even planning for him to show up—this kind of just extends into asking how planned playback is in general

3, highly specific and maybe I’m latching onto the most irrelevant detail ever, but jian is listed as having a fear of the sea(I’m assuming due to that squid curse, though in this context I’m talking about the sea specifically and not sea creatures), is the fear of the sea just a fun tidbit or should I continue looking way too hard at it?

4, there’s not really a graceful way I can ask this(and also I’m not exactly certain what I’m asking), but I ask it respectfully and also as a queer person, could you give some commentary about your having queer characters in playback? I generally just really appreciate seeing in fics and regular media (that’s not specifically about queer experiences) when there’s queer characters and it’s dwelled upon for a bit/not instantly glossed over

5, feeling like I’m overstaying my welcome in the ask box with how long this is turning out so last thing; you’re super inspiring!!! Playback is so cool!! Embedded media! Looking at your related art!! I’m personally a quantity sort of writer due to my inability to plan longfics and stick with it, so it’s super cool looking at this and the sheer dedication! I appreciate playback so much!

thank you for taking the time to look at this ask, lol, it’s so long..

ohhh this ask is gonna take me a bit to cook bc i'm very prone to rambling. apolocheese in advance

one, while naoya was present in the dream i for sure would have shifted that around if i didn't think the idea had merit. people tend to overlook naoya as what is in my eyes an intentional gojo parallel and i find him a really compelling character for it. i've talked about this! to me he's very much meant to stand as a glimse at gojo if gojo hadn't had the positive forces in his life that he did - and imho to highlight some of gojo's flaws in comparison to him! he's a neat guy. the sexism is an important character trait and in a way he's his own tragic character, in that he never got those opportunities gojo had to become a better person or be removed from the cycle of toxic abuse so deeply embedded in the jujutsu world's traditions. he was the perfect fit and the dream might have happened bc of how much i rotated him in my head. if i had picked anyone else for jian ... it's hard to say, because i knew very early on the sort of character i wanted jian to be: empathetic and supportive and deeply deeply flawed, sporting a hypocritical nature more suited to a human than the curse he was. i always giggle when people point out how contradictory and fickle jian is, because yeah! he's kind of an awful person! he's kenjaku's mentor and he hasn't ever stepped up to fix society itself and even now he's willing to turn a blind eye to people in peril even as he empathizes with their plights, entirely for the sake of convenience or a lack of affection. i thought it'd suit naoya well, because for all his faults naoya is a bluntly honest and direct sort of guy who acts on his own desires.

two, higuruma snuck his way in in the place of another character and ended up sliding into a different but similar planned role - he definitely made the decision for himself to join the nightmare polycule, but there was always the intent to have somebody there to be a more human counter to jian. higuruma ended up popping up bc i realized in the middle of the chapter how much better he'd fit the role i had in my head. as far as how planned it is ... very and not very at the same time. i have major story beats and events plotted out in my head, and then i work backwards, figuring out details i can add to foreshadow or build up to them, and fleshing out the space between those bones to make it all work. i definitely do a lot of improv and rewriting as i reconsider things, though, so no plan is set in stone.

three, there's a lot of intent to jian! a lot going on with that guy! there's reasons i listed the sea instead of just cephalopods. multiple reasons, even: i may not touch on how tengen's barriers have served to keep jian bound to japan, and thus keep kenjaku always returning, in the story, but being on an island forever definitely contributes to the bone-deep dread the ocean brings him.

four, it's always been important to me! with both my queer and disabled writing in playback, and any other works of mine, i draw a lot on personal experience. i just ... really appreciate when a character can be a fully fleshed out character who's also queer, and it both doesn't make up their whole identity while simultaneously being intrinsically bound to said identity. if that makes sense. beyond that, i think a lot of the themes and ideas in those sorts of narratives tie back to the broader themes explored: the powerlessness of being disabled and reliant on a caretaker runs parallel to the powerlessness of being a child beholden to adult figures of authority, y'know? jian would be trans even if his entire arc wasn't so centered on his sense of identity and humanity, but jian being trans holds hands with that narrative. does that make any sense? queer self-expression runs antithetical to the oppressive regimes in charge of the world, and that applies to playback as much as real life. i'm sure i don't tackle these perfectly and i know i don't get to dive into them as much as i'd like, but it's important to me all the same.

five i really appreciate asks and feedback like this :o) one of the saddest things to me is when i get to see someones thoughts while reading through the fic and then they run out of fic to read. the curse has struck me continuously but i'm sure i'll get some steam back when i get to watch the new season. part of my ability to shoot for a longfic is experience writing months-long multi-plot-spanning roleplays with incredible collaborators, so you have them to thank for honing me into the specific sort of lunatic i am. on the flipside i cannot write short concise works to save my fucking life i need three hundred thousand words NOW !!! it always means a lot to me to hear it does something for people. at all. whether it be inspiration or just enjoyment. it's wild to me that people have based things off of my work! that they've read my super self indulgent oc fic and enjoyed it! asks like this are always welcome regardless of length. i looove talking. as always i must also offer a little nod to the fics that inspire and motivate me. rereading ASOR lately has me re-experiencing all that excitement and dread and i'd like to be able to capture even a fraction of that in my own work! i must get more insane.

little cat has been biting me directly on the knee for the latter half of me writing this. i hope you can imagine such a thing.

[aldritch-ao3]

okay so since Jian dosent need to breath when hes going #curse mode, could he, potentially, split from Naoya (not relationship wise obviously you cant seperate these gayboys) and freeze time, then hibernate until hes all charged up or whatever, or would freezeframe drop with the unconsciousness?

nope! jian isn't ever truly separate from his host until they die - the physical form he conjures is more akin to a shikigami! he's got a lot in common with rika, in that sense, and being summoned tangibly outside of his host body is a constant energy drain on them both. there's no offsetting that, even with freeze frame active.

i'm also not sure his cursed spirit form is capable of sleep. do spirits sleep? or do they just mimic it?

[aldritch-ao3]

No Jian on artfight ? 🥺🥹

he's linked here !!! i didnt have time to finish a ref for him bc iii. health issues. you understand.

[aldritch-ao3]

Is Jian a fossil or a crystal

jian is a fossil bc hes Old i think. but also a crystal bc hes covered in gems and sparkly scales. *im* on team crystal. i like pink

[aldritch-ao3]

cursed by the fact I can't get a jian look up because he's your fan oc

if naoya merch ever drops im really tempted to customize it ngl. MY babygirl.

[aldritch-ao3]

my brain decided jian is canon to jjk and I got confused when he wasn't there

this keeps happening to people ??? youre not the first person to tell me this. doubly so from my readers who have never seen/read jjk for some reason. friendly reminder jian is from a fan fiction and is my oc :o) hope this helps!

[aldritch-ao3]

dont stab your laywer boyfriend with them

step one get a lawyer boyfriend. step two ... you know ;o)

[aldritch-ao3]

you're growing jian teeth 😔

jian already HAS human teeth just w big fuckoff tusks in the place of his incisors. i WISH i was growing jian teeth. instead im losing aldritch teeth

[aldritch-ao3]

even quieter than usual bc im having dental issues of the excruciating variety ouughgh.

[aldritch-ao3]

PLEASE PUT JIAN ON ARTFIGHT ILL GIVE HIM A BIG FAT KISS

hes so fucking long why is he so long. how am i going to fit him on my ref sheet template. i hate this guy

but i may add him. im rlly rooting for arctic vs tropic and i WILL add his cunty winter coat outfit from the sukuna intermission if we get them

[aldritch-ao3]

I trusted the process, and the process made jian look like 🤡

boutta see jian at the carnival instead of the opera with how much I fucked this up

idk how to tell you this but. the paler face? the red paint? jian IS clowncoded

[aldritch-ao3]

Rereading playback and it is so so so lonely without my beautiful wife husbands jianya 💔 I miss them every chapter when will they be back from the war (like. Five more chapters. I'm speed reading)

honestly i should reread playback. i keep meaning to go through it and fix all my typos ive just been sooooo busy

[aldritch-ao3]

tryna take a nap without turning my laptop off and the unfinished jian art is staring me down judgementally or perhaps even disappointedly

me w the shibuya chapter doc thats been open for months, judging me every time i load it and write NOTHING

[aldritch-ao3]

Hey so I had another dream with Mechamaru and Nanako except Jian and Naoya were there and the whole thing was like one of those videos where they’re all gacha characters reacting to various things in the tv room… At some point Luigi Mangione was one of the things they reacted to and Jian claimed it was one of his previous incarnations. OH also I do want to mention at some point in the dream around the end Mechamaru was just Kokichi in the fuckass bath instead of wheelchairmaru or regular Mechamaru but nobody paid like any mind to it. Anyway see you next time I have a Playback dream. It feels like I js gotta report them all to you like I crediting for a fan animation

i need you to know every time i look at this ask i start laughing so hard i can’t type. there’s just so much to unpack in it and i can’t decide which part is funniest to comment on bc there’s so much. i’m so happy you tell me about them bc it just feels right, with how playback was conceived

i haven’t had any playback dreams lately but i do keep having dreams that’d make for really fun fanfics or even original series bc my brain knows it must torment me and my lack of free time in any way possible

[aldritch-ao3]

i’ve been having those for years. even longer than my recurring cruise ship murder mystery nightmare which i’ve been having for nearly a decade now. there’s just things wrong with me psychologically. dream analysts hate me bad

my sketches ugly as hell and/or can only be comprehended by me

my mom saw me drawing jian and asked if it was a horse

and yet youre denying me horselike jian. agony

hes kind of horselike. if you think about it. like he's the sort of big skittish animal who will break your spine with a single limb if startled

[aldritch-ao3]

I had another dream about playback just now about mechamaru and Nanako again and it’s so weird bc like the dream was formatted in like your art style instead of JJK like it usually is so like letting you know my Brain made some fucked up AI anime of Playback instead of whatever while i was sleeping which i didn’t know would b possible bc i don’t even think there’s art of all the characters in your style????

IM OBSESSED WITH YOU??? ive been sick for like a full month now (covid. yauy) and i keep having like, vivid recurring nightmares about horses??? can we trade. please.

oh god theres so many characters ive never drawn. maybe after artfight ill do jjk fanart to get back into the swing of things ...

[aldritch-ao3]

anyways all this to say jian and naoya got a real adam and kelsie situation going on. i wanna see them all fuck nasty so bad literally most of them would Die of toxic sexpest poly Kenjaku do you. Allow derivative fanworks im about to explode my brain worms you've created something Genius it is crawling inside and eating gloop eueueuuuu so good i can't wait for Toji to get revived and pulled into this bullshit from pig naoya's narcissist superiority-inferiority complex "it's not Real Incest if we're first cousins" zenin

you Get It you get me you see my visions goddddd i need that man EXECUTED (does not elaborate on which i mean)

i do allow derivative fanworks but you have to tell me abt it smiles. even if it never gets posted i wanna seeeeeeeeee. also you can do whatever you want with my funny ocs but like standard common sense rules yknow credit me dont post it if its nsfw and youre under 18 etc etc.. you get it.

also sorry for what ive done to you. psychologically. theres no fixing me either.