alengthyread

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I don’t recall how I came across Zac Posen, I’ve watched his interview with BOF, business of fashion, many times now. And my behaviour is such, because deep down I also want to make clothes.

Apparently, Zac designs GAP and Old Navy, two stores I really like.

What’s been happening for the past month is myself shopping many times @ GAP, I mean I literally went broke buying t-shirts at this store.

I’ll try to video the different items I’ve purchased the last month, so you’ll get an idea what I’ve been doing, a few shirts are on laundry mode now, so I have to wait until they’re washed, and dried, for the photo shoot.

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It ain’t bullet proof, but you know, you can’t be hurt. This is how I see society now, I think everyone know the problems Donald Trump has imposed on us.

But I once again respect the Canadians who run this country, because I knew Mark Carney was intelligent over the book he wrote a few months ago, but to deal with economic problems brought the suaveness out of him, and just the cool manner how he handles things is impressive.

For me myself, individually, I was kinda’ sad that Trump is going foward with his August 1 plan, I understand that Canada could be European given the imports that can sell in this country, but as I was walking around the mall, am like, I Really Like the GAP, I really love Walmart, and I kept envisioning that these stores may not last any longer in this country. Because Trump totally destroyed the allied relationship, and Canadian government has already left the States. I know some Canadians are saddened also, but the consensus is that Canada is ready for a new deal with EU, and regardless the negative nostalgia, I may wear Italian clothes soon! Or have products come directly from Paris! 😀

Isn’t that cool?

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My recent findings is that Canada has hired a lot of people for work. I think what’s happening now is trade is occurring without the involvement of the U.S. The tariffs can be avoided as trades can occur with EU, and China.

Donald Trump shot his own foot in this.

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I still visit Old Towne, one thing with Niagara is that things get more expensive as you visit it, prices don’t change, but the budgeting is placed in a risk.

The familiarization are all there, I know which products to buy, and I know which are too pricey.

Photography is probably the most feasible thing to do here, because it is a tourist spot, but same thing, there’s a familiarization, and you kinda’ notice it that everyone else is doing it.

Restaurants are all amazing here, and again, it threatens the budgeting.

Market share is huge here, because I understand that it’s retail, but the feeling is that it’s direct to customer, D2C, I don’t know if that’s the right term, because you can have all the stores, but when you deal with the outlet mall, competition rise. And it’s really war for your dollar, because different stores have different brands, and all are looking to make money.

I was getting my exotic coffee here, but eventually it started feeling expensive, because one bag can almost be thirty dollars. And now that am back to Walmart coffee products, I save half of that with the taste being normal.

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This photo was taken last year during fall season, or September 2024, and it’s interesting how my photography turned out. Because I once again want to take building pictures here in Fallsview in Niagara Falls, because my feeling is that it’s feasible.

I was sprung up after the Florida and cruise ship vacation, and I ended up with this photo @ Old Towne to kinda’ survive that feeling of awesomeness.

But eventually things go back to normal, even my fan base changed, because I got a lot hits from that Florida and Caribbean vacation that after it, anything I produced here at home became uninteresting.

I privatized my YouTube, because I don’t consider it hot any longer especially dealing with ordinary things.

Perhaps being patient for that next shoot, but I can’t negate the fact that I’ve totally lost my influence, because the people I do follow have amazing follow ups.

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Forming a Modern Relationship

Am willing to talk about this, because I go through these things also, and I can’t really say form, because a lot of my relationships end in sixty seconds.

And for years now, I’ve studied why I can’t keep a relationship prolong in a satisfactory way.

I had to learn my lesson the hard way.

It’s the feeling that your life is going to be heavenly that makes you commit.

But when things go back to normal, you start having regrets, because you have all these sacrifices to do, and they’re not easy, because you’re tired from work already.

And it’s hard to be a man in a relationship, because men are not unconditionally loved, we’re only loved when we provide something from the financial world, but if we say that we’ve ran out of money, then biased, and indifferent, treatment occur.

Women are demanding.

Like when we say I Love You…$ It’s sad but that’s the society we all live in now.

And things are getting worse, because say you go to downtown Toronto on a weekend, it’s basically street prostitution there, women looking for sugar daddy, while men want intimacy.

The other thing I’ve noticed is culture, we’re not nationalists where brands control us. I’ve noticed people who come to the western world lay aside their personalities and culture.

There’s nothing wrong with brands, but you also have to think that it’s from a market place.

I was born in The Philippines, and till this day speak my native tongue, am I stupid for it? I know enough that the culture & language are dying. What you don’t know is that am not really looking for a relationship, there’s a difference between socializing and basically running to the chapel.

I was just thinking of this, because as a Filipino Canadian, I still have roots with foods as Sinigang, Kare-kare, Filipino express, Laing, bbq, lechon… And what I’ve noticed here in the west is just go Tim Hortons drive thru, get your bagel, coffee and you’re good for the day.

There’s nothing wrong with Tim Hortons, but once you lose that food & culture, say with steamed white rice with pork chops, and asparagus then do you benefit anything?

Same with language, I admit I was brain washed too with the west, and I felt robbed with conversations because the technique was open minded. And instead of just being simple, and value this small thing, it became an encyclopedia Einstein like, and who understands those?

The wisdom of being simple is that you see growth, here in the west, people think they know everything, but you’d be surprised if you take things slowly. Like you see this with Donald Trump where he looked like a bad guy in the beginning, but the choices he has made could better the country in the long run, having said that I just value the recent news I’ve heard, and tomorrow again, same behaviour.

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Today was unique because I was able to go for a long drive.

I miss the GTAs, I understand there’s so much traffic now, and I understand many wanna leave the stressful life.

My plan was to enjoy the city, because my appointment was later in the evening @ 7:30.

So I started walking around this mall, and leaving & driving was my plan, but the place was amazing, and I had Crohn’s to deal with.

I ended up spending a couple of dollars, because my wait was long, and I had nothing to do at the mall.

I ended up buying Drake’s sophomore music album, I ended up buying soup for lunch, and these things were all pricey.

With my attire, am always a big fan of the Caribbean look, so I had leather shoes, and letter belt to match the two, and I had denim for the rest. But slim fit can be odd, because my upper body is huge while my pants sag down to short, but I don’t really mind, am not a super model.

Tim Hortons introduced these new soda canned drinks, and they were amazing, I usually just order coffee from this shop, but I couldn’t handle the heat as I was getting thirsty.

Heading there, I once again drove by the Haltons in Milton, and am really impressed how luxurious the new houses were built, it’s just the way things are fashioned that they’re feasible.

Here in Niagara, a lot of my routes are old neighbourhood, so to see something brand new is an experience.

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I’ve been focused on my sleep as of late, because I have an evening appointment on Tuesday in Mississauga.

But my sleep can be tough due to the medication I take, or it can be lenient with the stresses during the day.

The outlet mall is near to my house, and I’ve been following GAP due to their designer Zac Posen, and it’s just one of those fun things I could do, because I was buying t-shirts every visit I made. Eventually, I stopped shopping, because it was becoming expensive.

Fashion is special, because it’s an entity where it’s truly a meaningful work, I understand I didn’t make the clothes, but just being inside the store where you can select the items you want…

The weather has gotten warmer, there’s actually a heat warming around the province, and walking around the mall can be a challenge, but I think you go with the flow as everyone else is looking to shop.

I have kept saying that shopping has slowed down here in Niagara, but the signs of that is wrong, because everyone is basically buying everything.

I gauge a country’s economy with layoffs, and when Trump started fiddling with the tariffs, it scared a lot of businesses, because at the end of the day, America is Canada’s number one customer.

But I think Ontario will recover, because Doug Ford is a good businessman, and dealings now are interprovincial, and he said that there’s two hundred billion dollars that can be earned, so that’s great news.

I was only concerned with money, because I did work for Xerox which was an American company, and everyday, it’s always its financial status, how are sales, how are its stocks, and when you talk with masterminds in the company, you learn so much.

The plant I was in, in Oakville finally closed, my father who worked there for decades was emotional about it, but the plant had to close because it was getting old, it was built in the 70s, and I think that place had to be replaced by modern building-business. So if you go there now, it’s no longer factories and warehouses, it’s state of the art offices. The landscape changed so much that it’s just brand new, I never knew they could make it that way.

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I had an early testing in life at a stage in my childhood. Both my parents went to the States leaving me and my sister to my secondary family.

The airport scene is something I’ll never forget, because I never thought I’d be hurt that much.

And I was just crying & crying, I didn’t care if people were watching.

And I went through a phase of behaving differently, because my thoughts were, am alone therefore am my own man. Little did I know that my health worsen, because I wasn’t eating properly, I wasn’t sleeping properly, I just kept playing the video game my parents bought me Nintendo.

I was a mess, I was unhappy, a few times there I wanted to die. So I went back to church for a gospel hour on a Sunday night, and I started talking to God, because I learned that I could keep myself on one piece if I start singing hymns again, and this is what I want to share with you. Because I won’t be surprised if you’re going through the same experiences I went through, enjoy.

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I had a hard time with this country over culture & language. It wasn’t until I was taught that it was very diversified in terms of global nationalities.

Say I kept my mother tongue, and at the same time work on my English by reading books.

Am really fortunate for the free health care, every Canadian is happy with the free health care, because a lot can happen in terms of injury, and such, say an organ problem.

Because OHIP also pays for my medication, so am really blessed.

Work was hard, people may view my life as unemployed, but I got free housing out of it, free refrigerator, and I was just putting up a good effort. My parents still expect good performances, but my health is failing with Crohn’s now, am not able to just move around, there’s a certain care for it.

I don’t blame my parents, I know they want me to raise my own family, but they don’t know the tiresome, because I’ve been busy all my life.

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I just want to share my background for a second here, so people would understand where am coming from. I want to share what led to my hospitalization, and really just living a painful, and suffering life.

When I finally made it at Xerox, I vowed that I would work long hours, that way I would one day be a millionaire. And the thing with my labour is that I could complete it, because I used Michael Archer’s music to stabilized my mental health, and the thing with would music was it made me win a sports championship in grade eleven.

But music finally failed me while working at Xerox, and no one came up to me to help, and find healing. In fact, I was led to Fraser Smith who made things worse.

And I fell apart, even my doctor now will ask me if am drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes, and I would always say no, but as a person, I know what my problems are.

There are people who wonder about my financial life, and same thing, am under a life insurance with ODSP, my parents try to cheer me up for having money, but am not altogether happy, because I have limits.

And being poor is not fun, because am always home, or am always in my room watching t.v.

And health is a serious issue once you’re suffering from it.

I was diagnosed with depression, I was diagnosed with anxiety, and the funny part is that I don’t believe it, because I know what I went through with Fraser Smith.

My health failure just didn’t happen over night, it really started when I vowed to play a lot of basketball, so I started as a young boy in The Philippines only to suffer more with more intense training here in Canada.

My sleep was affected, but I couldn’t give up at that point, because I’ve been through so much already, winning games are satisfying, but winning a championship is just euphoria.

While staying at the hospital, they teach you how to live healthy, they teach how to get rid of your stress, how you should sleep early, wake up early, and have exercise & breakfast.

Just blogging now about it is helpful, because there are still ambitious traits that make me live extremity, and it’s not healthy if am always working, so am learning now to just ease up. But money can be an allure where having plenty for shopping is reasonable.

Anyway…

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Am gonna talk about satisfaction, because we do destroy ourselves when we’re not satisfied. I’ve gone through so many doctors, prescription pills, meditation, yoga, and nothing worked.

I’ve gotten better, but I won’t say that am no longer vulnerable, am still a struggling man.

But am once again whistling a hymn that’s changing my life in this diluted life I’ve placed myself in.

I have forgotten the title of the hymn, and I don’t know altogether the lyrics of it, but am gonna whistle it, and hope you’ll be blessed. But for now, some texts or something.

I finally got my haircut, my father has been urging me to get one, but I was taught to grow my hair in an economy that’s going through a recession. So I watched Miami Vice filmed in the eighties, and I basically tried to copy everything of it.

But I think my teacher was wrong, because when I deal with a person like Zac Posen, the talk is so different from how I learned it.

So now am like, forget fashion, am just gonna do what I want. So that’s the journey am going through.

I had a long month last month, and am gonna continue that pace for this month, because I don’t have all the money to spend, a lot of times am just in my room, so I can prevent myself from shopping, and it works!

So for people who follow me, I bought another Tom Cruise Mission Impossible again, and am gonna watch it here in my room. 😀

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A set of opinions again here in my ALR, I took this photo just out here in our residence, and am qualm, if that’s the right word, to update, because it’s really a give and take business for me, and it’s not easy, I find myself now working hard on a daily basis, whereas before I could just lax on it.

The topic I wanna talk about again is faith, because it’s still an issue…

I find a lot of people here in Ontario working hard for their survival, and faith without works is dead, so as long as you’re working, then everything is good.

But faith does get affected once you want the finer things in life, I find the expensive people like to issue faith.

And it’s just the degree of your satisfaction, meaning you’re either happy with a ten dollar bill, or must have a hundred dollar bill. This goes many times with the cars we buy & drive, are you happy with a small car say like a Hyundai Accent, or do you have to drive a luxurious Mercedes Benz?

I find people’s temperament get affected with these things, and I hate it when they involve me with it.

My advantage is that I grew up poor in The Philippines, and eventually here in Canada, my co-worker taught me that Canada was a poor country, and that “Your lifestyle will be just like The Philippines.” So I was able to prepare myself whatever temptations I was going to face.

If you’re going to issue faith, be sure that you may not get a million dollar cheque, pastors would say on the pulpit to share your faith, but people are only impress with the finer things in life. And if you try to befriend these people, they expect babysitting skills.

My advice for a faith exploration, is be sincere with people, because I find the secular world caring with their sincere hearts. So if you keep going back to your favourite restaurant, be mindful that these people really want to care for you. Don’t be stuck up that you’re a Christian, and that these people are Buddhist.

Everyone knows that there’s problems in life, so if you get into a conversation, be vulnerable also, be problematic also. This may sound weird, but am actually happy that I started having health problems, because I can also have a social life with another ill person.

Pastor Yap mentioned a key behaviour of going out, yes, go out & meet people.

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Amazing stream.

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Anything goes.

Me, Observed

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Temporarily, things have gone difficult.

I was taught to be low key with business, and it’s the rejection that bugs me, but I have to pay the price that come along in the game.

It’s not life or death for me, I just kinda’ worry with certain individuals, because being rejected is real, and people don’t really know how hard the regimen is for certain expertise.

Am okay losing people, that’s been the story of my life, because people think they’re righteous that I don’t fit into that category, and it’s weird because people like me, but they don’t really like me.

But I think eventually when the business fail, am basically just another guy walking down the street, but I understand that people don’t want to fail, and am their ideology to keep things alive.

I sensed in my walking just now that people in Niagara hike, or people here walk, and I get a feeling that people are going to translate that to their business.

Am still bothered with my Crohn’s, and at the same time “bothered” financially. And I find staying at home all the time.

I think the difficulty is I have to photograph awesome pictures, but I don’t have all the repertoire to create some, my advice for this is basically go to my Facebook for my photo album.

Obviously, the currency is difficult, because I have nothing else here in Niagara.

Anyway, have a nice day. 😀

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I guess I want to give advice to people in the younger generation how to survive your youth.

My journey in life has been horrible, because I always choose challenging ways, I get bored if am just sitting around, my thing is I have to be up on my feet.

Yet at the same time, take it easy on the corporate world, and this is where I failed for the most part, because I was hospitalized for over exhaustion.

My advice is start with part time hours, if you can work three hours a day, fifteen hours a week, take that.

Because if you have to go through high school and college, the mind is not strong to work forty plus hours a week, you will fall apart.

The expertise element of it is good, because it’s not boring, God’s been gracious to me that I no longer have to work in a warehouse eight hours a day.

Am still learning my niche, I think this is a lifetime commitment, and I see other people hopping onto that bandwagon, and am interested if you still go along it once it fails, I might be flawed in that, because am already thinking failure, but that’s how challenging my life is.

It’s not an easy life, the preparation is so tiring that making the final product is easy.

Am glad that we’re not people sharing ideas, because that can totally bomb your business.

But social media has been an exposure of basically dealing with your products. Because I see what you do, and it’s interesting. 🤠