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[alex-tanner-nyu]

The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.

Socrates (via acrylicalchemy)

[alex-tanner-nyu]

Be as you wish to seem.

Socrates (via acrylicalchemy)

[alex-tanner-nyu]

text || Sam & Alex

Sam: You'll find that special someone. You just have to learn to love yourself again before you can love anyone else.

Alex: Yeah, you're right...it's going to take a little while

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text || Sam & Alex

Sam: You're welcome.

Sam: I hope one day you two can reconnect as friends. When you're both settled into your new lives.

Alex: I hope so too. Blaine really special...amazing actually. I'd loved to have him as a friend one day. Maybe once I find that someone else, you know?

[alex-tanner-nyu]

text || Sam & Alex

Sam: No you won't. It doesn't seem like it now, but after a while, after some talks with a good therapist, you won't hate yourself anymore. I have faith in you.

Sam: Yeah. I'll bring him the letter.

Alex: Thanks, Sam. It means alot.

Alex: Great. I told I'd be there but I...I can't. I just can't and I think it's best if I'm not and if I don't tell him in person because either he or I will do something stupid to try and prevent me from leaving out of his life. Blaine needs to be with Derek. Not me.

[alex-tanner-nyu]

text || Sam & Alex

Sam: You're going to get better, and you're not going to hate yourself. I know that.

Sam: Of course I can. What's the favor?

Alex: I might get a little better, but I'm always going to hate myself for what I did to him.

Alex: I said goodbye to Blaine, except he didn't know it was goodbye goodbye. I haven't told him I'm leaving yet, I thought it would be better to do so after he left.

Alex: I need you to take a letter to him from me, you know when he's at the airport. And tell him not to open it or read it until he's on the plane.

[alex-tanner-nyu]

text || Sam & Alex

Sam: He can be. Are you okay?

Alex: I'm fine. Still hate myself nothing new. I tried to apologize..it didn't go over well. Not that i expected it to.

Alex: Anyway, not that you owe me anything or whatever but...could you do a favor for me?

[alex-tanner-nyu]

text || Sam & Alex

Alex: Your husband, he’s a little intense to talk to, you know that?

[alex-tanner-nyu]

Alex followed Blaine out in hall. The tears in Blaine's eyes made it nearly impossible for Alex to keep himself composed. He nodded, "See you around Bowtie Man." Alex's voice broke a little. He cleared his throat and watched as Blaine let his hand slip away and walked down the hall. As soon as Blaine was gone Alex went back inside and shut the door. He broke down almost instantly, his forehead pressed against the door. Alex couldn't believe that was the last time he'd see Blaine. He had royally fucked up his chances of being happy and in turn broke a perfectly wonderful boy. Alex sulked off to his room and flopped down on the bed not bothering with pajamas or anything. He laid staring at the side that Blaine used to sleep on, trying to remember what it was like waking up next to him. This was for the better though. Blaine could move on and be truly happy and that's all Alex wanted, for Blaine to be happy.

My Last Goodbye || Tanderson

[alex-tanner-nyu]

Alex breathed in deep and stood back to let his eyes scan over Blaine one last time. He was going to miss everything about Blaine, he was so perfect and Alex had screwed it up. "I'll see you later, okay?" Alex struggled to keep the smile on his face. "Send me some pictures from there, I'll check online to see some too. You're going to do great things Blaine. I'm proud of you, and I'm sorry for everything." Alex bit down on his lip and sighed.

My Last Goodbye || Tanderson

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Alex leaned into Blaine's touch promising himself he wouldn't cry in front of Blaine. He sighed and smiled sadly back at Blaine, holding his hand there. This was too much and too painful for Alex. "I'd love to be friends...you're too amazing not to be friends with." Alex leaned in and pulled Blaine into a tight hug. "Go give London hell, okay? And don't forget, pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. You'll regret it if you don't."

My Last Goodbye || Tanderson

[alex-tanner-nyu]

Alex smirked and took hold of Blaine's hand. "Of course, what kind of guy would I be if I just let you walk there alone?" He stood up and held tight onto Blaine's hand. With each step it was harder to let go. Alex didn't want to leave Blaine and he didn't want Blaine to leave him. Alex took a deep raged breath and stared down at Blaine with the best smile he could. "It was one of the best nights I've had in a long time." He paused. "I'm going to miss you."

My Last Goodbye || Tanderson

[alex-tanner-nyu]

Alex gently rubbed Blaine's arm, silently staring at the television screen still not paying attention to the movie itself. He had to figure out a way to tell Blaine about him leaving. Alex couldn't do it in person or even before Blaine left for London. He'd figure out a way. Alex shifted a little once the movie was fully over and they were both staring at the menu screen. "Yeah.." Alex managed a smile down at Blaine. "It's kind of late, you probably should get back. I don't want anything to happen to you on the mean streets of New York." Alex wasn't prepared for this, he wanted more time with Blaine.

My Last Goodbye || Tanderson

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Text || Alex & Sebastian

Sebastian: So... I started it? And you're trying to say that you fought back in the wrong way? You fought back and beat the shit out of Blaine, and you're trying to actually blame that on me?

Sebastian: Holy fucking shit. You're more whacked then I thought. Conversation over. I don't need your bull shit.

Alex: No!! No that's not what I meant to say at all...when I was arguing with you over the ticket...that was wrong claiming i had right because he was my boyfriend. THAT was wrong. I'm not blaming you for me hitting him...or for anything..i...shit..

Alex: sorry to have bothered you...

[alex-tanner-nyu]

Text || Alex & Sebastian

Sebastian: You stopped being a 'mature adult' when you had the audacity to feel the need to give Blaine permission to talk to me at me and Sam's engagement party.

Sebastian: And when you beat the shit out of him and made him want to kill himself. So shut the fuck up

Sebastian: And good. I can't went to never see your nasty face or hear your sickening voice ever again. I'm thrilled to the core.

Alex: ...the engagement...? Sebastian, I wasn't granting him permission. God you're an idiot. I was trying to let him know that I wouldn't be hurt if he wanted to go off and talk to you. I didn't care if he went to speak with his best friend. You're the one that got crazy obsessive and possessive him in the first place. I fought back in the wrong way, I admit that. I have a few mental disorders that went unlooked at for too long and again that's my fault and that's on me.

Alex: I fucked up, okay? I screwed up the best thing in my life and I'm already paying for that with guilt and having to watch him be happy with someone else. Someone who will always be ten times better than me. I'm already living my own hell, your commentary isn't needed thanks.

[alex-tanner-nyu]

Text || Alex & Sebastian

Sebastian: What, you mean Blaine deserves to be with someone he isn't terrified of? What a fantastic revelation!

Alex: Wow. Your sarcasm is breathtaking. It's nice to know we could be mature adults about this.

Alex: Forget I said anything. I'll be deleting your number, don't worry about hearing from me again.

[alex-tanner-nyu]

Text || Alex & Sebastian

Sebastian: Fucking good. And stay the hell out. Don't get bored and decide to come back around.

Sebastian: the second you're back I'll personally beat the shit out of you.

Alex: Trust me, I won't come back. Blaine deserves to be with Derek...I mean if the two of them even get together.

Alex: I won't get in the way of Blaine being happy. I want him to be happy.