alex-the-greatest

[alex-the-greatest]

[alex-the-greatest]

jjust in case you didn't know, scientists have recently discovered the reason you never see beast ghosts around for the most part and its this: it's always a human ghost coming out. rat dies? human ghost comes out. ox dies? human ghost comes out. louse dies? human ghost comes out. goose dies? human ghost. so you get the picture.

[alex-the-greatest]

source

[alex-the-greatest]

i saw the cutest pair on their way to the dumpster this morning, they looked like this:

[alex-the-greatest]

There are so many times in this life where you will be fleeting friends with someone and that is okay and we need to normalize the idea of having acquaintances again

i went on a weekend trip with a 400-level english class (not my major, had to be there for odd technical reasons) and everyone else on the trip was in the major and knew each other so i was really a fish out of water, but these two girls let me tag along with them to places all weekend and for those two days we were friends. i still think about the food we ate together at a portuguese restaurant in washington dc. I don’t remember either of their names, but the time we spent together still mattered.

There are a lot of people who will come in and out of your life, maybe just at work, maybe in your classes, maybe even for one singular day, and those interactions still mean something even if you don’t become best friends. if you allow yourself to have friendships and acquaintanceships that fade in and out of your life i think you will find yourself less frustrated and alone and with a greater appreciation for the world around you

[alex-the-greatest]

Unmute !

[alex-the-greatest]

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

[alex-the-greatest]

you have to understand that i once worked at a lab with a walk-in freezer set at all times to -30 degrees (-34 C) and one summer we had a horrendous heatwave and i had to bike to work every day and i didn't want to spend the first hour of work drenched in sweat, still trying to catch my breath and cool off.

well one day the first thing i had to do in the morning was grab some samples from the -30, and i walked in and all of the sweat on my body basically flash-freezed and it felt so good. i cooled down in 20 seconds.

so from then on every single day when i got to work i just walked into the freezer and stood there for a minute.

i was usually the first in so nobody noticed for a few weeks until one day i walked in, panting from my bike ride on an unusually hot day, too breathless to talk, and one of my coworkers was there early and he started talking to me but I just wheezed an apology and put my finger up to say "one moment" and I walked into the freezer and then a minute later I came back out totally recovered and I said "sorry! : ) what were you saying?"

and he said

"how long have you been doing that?"

[alex-the-greatest]

[alex-the-greatest]

Really fucked up that you can just inherit complexes from your mother and be fully aware that they're complexes from your mother but still do all that shit

[alex-the-greatest]

are you ever like damnnnnnn why cant it be easier

[alex-the-greatest]

[alex-the-greatest]

I do unfortunately think some people on the internet need to learn that my body my choice also extends to the choices you don't agree with like having a child, weight loss medication, modesty clothing, etc. if I doesn't affect you than it's none of your business

[alex-the-greatest]

you know who would serve absolute cunt at the met gala? megamind.

[alex-the-greatest]

*sits and listens to the rain*

[alex-the-greatest]

[alex-the-greatest]