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[alexanderhamiltonisthebottom]

FUCK THANKSGIVING, HELP AN INDIGENOUS LESBIAN W RENT!

considering that tomorrow is national day of mourning, pls consider helping an indigenous 2spirit lesbian pay for rent next month! any amount greatly appreciated!

blue app link

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let's hold hands

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THE GREAT | 3.01 “The Bullet or The Bear”    

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Comet Leonard

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i like hanging out with myself too

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Black Narcissus (Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger, 1947)

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*wakes up in a cold sweat* a Wario-style negative-version of Bowser who’s ultra cheerful and peppy called Wowser

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Welcome to the Jungle by *M.*

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this is my favorite thread ever (x)

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🌹

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Oh my god

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Hear Me Out ✶ EXO, 2023

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(230714) D.O. — CREAM SODA

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free shrugs

[alexanderhamiltonisthebottom]

the responses i’ve seen to shiv’s ending seem very quick to write her off as just another sad victim of the cycle, which isn’t without truth BUT!!! that is not even remotely the summation of shiv’s story.

i don’t think she votes yes to “save kendall” or to try to finally set her brothers free. and i don’t think her main concern was that ken was becoming their dad. she absolutely noticed and didn’t love it, but that was not her motivation in betraying him. she was thinking about herself.

it’s tempting to make a martyr out of her as she is the only female child and we see her suffer the onslaught of misogyny that comes with that. but to make her into a saintlike figure who got beat takes away the power and intelligence behind her decision.

at this point she’s stuck between two non ideal choices, but she recognizes that they have accidentally made her the single most important player in the game. because while she can’t have the outcome she’d prefer, she has the power to decide the fates of everyone else. the written off lone woman now holds in her hands the fate of every man in her life.

so she thinks about the long term benefits of both options and realizes that one side leaves her completely without any leverage.

her brothers have proven to her multiple times in the last few days alone that they will cut her out and walk all over her the first chance they get. siding with them leaves her nothing to bargain with. she would just have to hope that ken would actually take care of her. and that level of vulnerability is not only unacceptable to her, it’s stupid. and shiv fuckin roy is not stupid.

so she thinks about the other side and about what she actually wants for her life. and against her better judgment, it’s becomes unfortunately clear that she wants tom. the way she wants him is not altogether loving or even good but it is necessary to her. she sees relationships as having winners and losers and she chose this man specifically so that she could be confident in her ability to win. except now he’s grown some balls and made himself unavailable to her.

she may not like the way her husband is evolving but she already placed her bets on him, so she’s sure as hell not losing to him now. there’s also a part of her that feels intrigued by this new man she’s married to. it’s interesting to have a sparring partner in him instead of having to looking for excitement outside of their marriage.

so for maybe the first time ever, she processes what tom has said to her and thinks about what he actually wants.

he needs her to prove that she cares. he needs to know that she is capable of sacrifice. if she can’t find it within herself to do this for him, then she will lose him, and by extension, she will lose.

siding with tom gives her the opportunity to once and for all make a grand-stand gesture of love, but more importantly, it creates leverage for her. never again will he be able to hold the moral high ground over her head. never again can he say she doesn’t love him. never again can he call her selfish or uncaring. above all, he can never betray her again, because she just removed all of his moral justification for turning on her. he doesn’t realize it yet, but she’s just taken back all the power in their relationship. just in a more subtle way than she’s used to operating.

and just like that, she has the ceo of a multi billion dollar company in her pocket, while situating herself as the only descendant of logan roy to still be playing the game, having removed her brothers from the equation permanently. she may still be far from the top but she’s creating a path for herself to climb.

so yes, she’ll let tom play king for a day, and she’ll have his baby and say “congratulations,” and play the gracious wife, but tomorrow is a new day with lots of room to maneuver. and when her husband puts out his hand, she’ll place her own on top. but she won’t grasp it because she doesn’t need to.

[alexanderhamiltonisthebottom]

the thing for Shiv is that she genuinely does love Tom. She was so upset at having hurt him in S1 that she TOLD him she had hurt him. She won't do that unless she considers you real, and if she considers you real then she generally won't want to deal with the consequences (feeling judged and/or seen)--but she told Tom, and attempted to be vulnerable with him. Yeah, perhaps for the first time, yeah, on her wedding, yeah, about her infidelity, but--she loves him. When he suggested sheep farming and scuba she thought well, he's not just in it for Waystar. Because she has always known that he is at least partially in it for his career!!

And in S2 she begs Logan to spare Tom, at great personal cost to herself (totally nukes any hope of Logan offering her CEO, because she has been weak like this). The conversation in 4x10 lays it out clearer than ever: in some ways, she believes it is a good thing that they have hurt each other so deeply, because that makes it more real. She sees the deep web of distrust and pain they have built between them as a good foundation for what she calls a proper/real relationship.

(And honestly? There's a bit of truth to that. I think about the scene where Tom said he'd perish on impact if their marriage went sour, that he honestly wouldn't even want to survive. And she definitely thinks 'bullshit' and she's definitely right to do so)

Anyway, her decision makes perfect sense to me. Not only does she love Tom--who has only said to her that he 'doesn't know' if he wants a relationship--but she's carrying his baby. He was fucking desperate to impregnate her in S3 because he wanted an anchor to this life in case he had to go to prison. He saw her womb as a fucking winch cable to tether him to the private jets and yachts.

But that tether goes both ways, and as the mother of his children Shiv feels that she could have more influence than as the sister of her brothers. She has to choose between being the girl that was shut out or the wife who will be. It's not much of a choice, but she chooses the better one, and in so doing dooms herself to become Caroline.