alexandraleeministries

[alexandraleeministries]

Back on track-(1/31/2021)

This is a piece for me to keep myself accountable.

This is a piece primarily of reflection, but also of re-evaluation. 

In the most recent months I have fallen off track, gotten back on track, and fallen off again quite a few times - this would be the track of me sticking to a disciplined diet and workout, as well as my spiritual practices like meditation and even prayer. I still pray over 20 times a day (not exaggerating), but I have not been as present in my prayers as I have been, and know I should be. 

I guess this is also a piece of confessions, mostly to myself than those {few} who may actually read this.

I need a cleanse; a cleanse of mind, and of body, therefore of my spirit. I have felt myself becoming very comfortable and closer to the worldly things, things like “comfort food” rather than food to fuel my body AND my soul, other things like staying up late and not making use of my time but rather just scrolling through social media as I compare myself...

It is time for me to re-break the bad habits, and I need prayers of strength. I need guidance and wisdom to aid me and steer me from trying to do things MY way. 

God’s way or no way :)

February is a new month, and it begins on the first day of a new week, and it’s time that I START (again), and STOP the overthinking, over-analyzing, over-dwelling, and just let things be what they are, where they are. 

I wouldn’t believe it if I’m the only one around who has set goals, crushed them, and then watched those goals slip away again. I know there are others, if not, one other who can relate. 

I declare this month OURS. 

We will conquer it one day at a time until we develop the habits that make us better, bring us closer to our God, and keep us healthy.  

“God, you are at the root of these new beginnings. Guide us to do this Your way; our way does not work. Continue to bless us with the chances of a each new day.

Thank you.”

Here’s to beginning again... 

[alexandraleeministries]

Atypical-(12/11/2020)

I have a certain way of doing things... well, I have a certain way of doing EVERYTHING. I write/journal in the same place at home, I leave things a certain way, I eat specific things in specific ways, but right now, as I sit at the car dealership waiting for it to be maintenanced, (is that a thing?), I am overwhelmed with thoughts, but every though is leading me to prayer.

It is not atypical of me to find a significance in everything, so this doesn’t feel unusual, just beautiful & something worth sharing.

On my drive here, after a morning of oberthought thoughts, anxiety, & the frantic feeling after a schedule change at work, I decided I wasn’t going to let that make the pace of my day, but instead I’d pray to express the gratitude I have, for I trust that things are aligning & piecing together in this CERTAIN WAY SPECIFICALLY FOR ME!! I shut off my music, & just spoke in prayer to God for having his hand on me, for the aid to allow me to let things be easy-as they should be, I chose NOT to struggle, to let things be, & I got word/messages that all my worries need to be surrendered all over again, today, that what I know is all I need to know & that things I should learn, I will. Through me, changes are made, people are inspired & honesty/truth is & will be practiced.

I am taken care of, I am safe, & I am grateful!

I have everything I need & know everything I need to know RIGHT NOW.

God’s got me.

[alexandraleeministries]

Know Him vs. KNOWING Him - (9/23/2020)

“God is always with you, and has always been with you.”

I have heard this time and time again, and I believe it time and time again because when I think back to the hardships I have crossed over, I am certain that I was not able to cross them over all in my own. I believe I have, indeed, always been watched over, but why was I guided even at the times I didn’t know God?

That is the beauty that is within His grace.

I will remind you, God to me may not be God to you, but my words resonate with you because we believe in God, period. There is a Higher Power, an Almighty, a Was and What Will Be. 

A huge part of my journey took a leap when I realized that growing up knowing about God is far different from KNOWING God. I grew up knowing that there is a Guidance in everything I do, a Protector, One who hears and works my prayers, but today I KNOW Him, I have a relationship with Him, I talk to Him on the daily - not because I “have” to, but because I “want” to, more so, I “need” to.

I believe that nothing we do is 1) on our own, nor is it 2) a coincidence. I believe that we are living out the lives intended for us by the plan that is laid out for us. When something is done, whether it does/doesn’t sit right with me, I think to myself, “it was supposed to happen like it did because something will come out of it later.” (This is the whole “a blessing or a lesson” concept). This brings me to peace with my actions, and even those of someone else’s, a peace that I could not find before KNOWING God. This revelation, or understanding, I was overcome by is after creation the relationship I have with God today, a relationship that needs and deserves constant nurturing and devotion, it is work to create and keep something great. Before this “KNOWING”, I constantly tried to control and know WHY - about e v e r y t h i n g! There is absolutely no peace in that, at all! These days I surrender, my every thought I can’t remember, my want to reason and pry on the “why”, this only leads to confusion, and confusion is NOT OF GOD. I allow myself to find the peace in knowing that there is a reason only God knows and it will be revealed to me if need be, because this has never failed me, He has never failed me.

I decided to dwell in God, rather than the uncertainties that sometimes arise. 

I believe in my greatest good, and I believe in yours too!

[alexandraleeministries]

I will only ever fight for what I believe in-(9/6/2020)

At 26 years old, I expected that I’d be in, pretty much, the alternate universe that I am in now. 

I’d set forth the idea that at this age I’d be working for a company that was in alignment with what I went to school for, and what I told everyone I was aiming for, which isn’t completely washed off the back burner, but has indeed been placed there, and I will explain why.

I realized that sometimes God has different plans for my gifts/my passions. 

I went to school for a lot of things until I finally narrowed it down to Journalism in the 5th year - writing, something I had loved since middle school, I tied it together with sports - my passion, and every time someone would ask me what I wanted to do, they would suggest “ESPN”. I’d always been expected to do great things, this coming from my family, to my community, and even several people I have worked for, but lately I realized that there was a movement I started my Senior year of High School to stop doing things that I was doing solely because I was expected to do them - this was why I decided not to try out for cheer that year, because everyone expected me to, and I enjoyed every second of every football game I got to watch in the crowd. I had kind of slipped back into what other people had planned for me rather than what I had/have planned for me. 

I realized that I am so strong about where I spend my time because my time and energy and peace is that valuable, and yours is too! ESPN was the “greatness” that I was striving for because it stands at the top of the Sports Careers Pyramid, but at the top of my own, personal pyramid I realized is the impact I believe I am here to make - this through my writing, through my voice, and standing up for what I believe in, like bringing awareness to mindfullness. 

Lately I have been struggling with disappointment. I feel as though because I am not with a company that is getting me closer to where a lot of people expected me to get to, I have failed. It isn’t until I evaluate what I feel internally; I am at peace, I have succeeded at that, and that is priceless, that I am able to realize the only person we ever need the approval from is ourselves. We will exhaust ourselves, and waist our time on this Earth by the time we are able to meet someone else’s expectation for us because the struggle to fulfill something your heart is not in is so painful, more so, not worth it. 

So maybe I’m not getting paid to use my degree, monetarily, but the few people who’s lives I touch, is much more valuable than any dollar amount because I know there is awareness being raised to each of our value on this earth.

I am well and I have plans, of which are in alignment with who I am becoming, and maybe I’m not where I anticipated I’d be at 26, but one thing is certain, I am in a much better place than I was at 25.

Keep growing, keep nurturing, keep learning. 

[alexandraleeministries]

It’s been a while - (08/28/2020)

Sometimes where change is coming there is a halt; a halt to things you are working on, things you aspire about, or the amount of people you let in.

I have been out of touch, not my intentions, but more so (I believe) were God’s. My feel for wanting to be transparent about where my life was, is, and is going is still so apparent, but in the process of getting to where I am still on my way to, I needed to gain a focus on myself that I didn’t have because my focus was on allowing my readers, or reader, to be a part of this journey. 

The other day I sat in thought on where I am. Sometimes still unhappy/anxious, I still worry (even though I know I shouldn’t, & even though I tell others not to), I am impatient, but I am mostly at peace...mostly? Yes. MOSTLY. 

To this I have come to accept; I am not all the way at where I know I am on my way to, but I have truly come so far and I took a moment to praise God (before myself) for where I am. At peace. The things I want are in alignment with the things that I have.

People were placed in my life along the way up until today (& will continue to be) at the most perfect time- in God’s time. I realized the changes that I put the work in to make, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally have all been aided by the people God has put in each of my days. I am driving out the purpose of my life while they are driving out their purpose in my life, too. I told a friend who complimented how good I looked one day, “I got my mind right, and everything followed.” This is what I believe. I found that there is something beautiful in finding a significance in everything rather than looking at that as the burden I thought it was.

Most people are unaware, but I was in a place of “bad”; I was afraid of myself for a long time because I was allowing the outside things to make me who they wanted to be, but I learned that I am in control, I have the power within me because God is within me. 

From 170 lbs., unmotivated, weary, and uncertain to 150 lbs., with my drive back, confident in who I am because I am who I once was but in an even greater closeness with that young lady - maybe the weight seems a little insignificant, but this is my way of knowing that I am taking care of my temple and making myself everything God intends for me to be - which is everything I intend to be! 

Note to self: let’s not take ourselves too seriously, and let’s rejoice in the things, the people, and in my mistakes as they are reminders that I am a spiritual being, in a physical world, having a human experience. 

[alexandraleeministries]

The purpose behind our Every Step, Every Word, and Every Breath-(05/06/2020)

Through every step, every word, every breath, I am living out my purpose.

Through every thought, every person who has crossed my mind in thought I am living out my purpose.

I am living out my purpose which is to allow God to use me, as He has been, and everything I do is so full of purpose because I am certain it is guided by what God’s intentions are for me.

I am the most grateful person because I have surrendered myself to God and His works in order to allow the blessings amongst those in my life before me, with me, and after me, as well as the blessings meant for me.

Through every step, every word, every breath YOU are living our YOUR purpose. There is a Devine significance in your being RIGHT. NOW. There is a significance in your reading this, and in whatever way it resonates with you, TRUST it.

The thing about our conscience is that we often times want to question it, especially when it doesn't make sense, but our conscience is so closely connected to the spirits who hold God’s words that they are meant to be trusted.

Life gets so much easier when you reach a point of ability to bring yourself back to yourself; mind, body, and spirit.

[alexandraleeministries]

My God is My Fuel-(04/27/2020)

Happy Monday! 

Firstly, might I just say how blessed I feel to be starting this week off as motivated as I am. Rebounding from a rough week is one of the things I have finally conquered, but it is all thanks to God. I look up at times where I used to look down-I look to Him and his strength to fuel that of my own.

Today I prayed for the things I have, and all that I know I am bound to. I gave God the reassurance in knowing He is here and has always been. I prayed for the gratefulness I am filled with to have His presences here-though I know it always has been, I didn’t know it as much as I do now meaning I didn't acknowledge it as much as I do now, and it’s exciting to have Him here to be able to do that in all of the things I am devoting myself to as I go on inviting Him to use me as He needs to through all the things that make me happy.

God really is all things, big and small. 

God fuels my energies, and because this is true, my energies will only be good.

 God is my light, and at times I don’t feel enough for myself, I know I am always enough for Him.

[alexandraleeministries]

Give yourself permission-(04/19/2020)

Too often I would find myself being my only vessel of doubt. I was the one holding myself back from doing or saying what I wanted to. I was the one under qualifying myself to speak/do things because I didn’t know enough, I hadn’t exposed myself to the topic/situation enough, and ultimately I had let myself believe that I wasn’t enough.

If I had allowed myself to be that doubtful person who, on the contrary to her old tellings, was, in fact, not enough. I would have never opened up the opportunity to speak to as many of you as I have through this ministry who really is defined as: the work or vocation of a minister of religion. Where religion could be defined as: a particular system of faith and worship, and do we not all worship/have faith towards a specific work? My belief is in the work of God, and if I am opening up resources, whether they be of myself or those that I have used, then why was I so doubtful of “Alexandra Lee Ministries”?? It was because I was in the way of the permission I could only give myself.

STOP being your setback. STOP being your own {biggest} enemy. STOP looking for permission everywhere else but within yourself.

If you have the passion, if you have reached a fulfillment, if you enjoy what you are applying yourself to, THAT IS ENOUGH-YOU are enough! Give yourself the permission you have been waiting for to start that thing, to chase that thing, to HAVE that thing. 

You will only ever have what is meant for you if you allow yourself to have it. Let God be the only one telling you that something is not for you. 

[alexandraleeministries]

This is where I stand: THIS is God’s work-(04/18/2020)

As we evolve into the person God has intended us to be, we must understand that there will be changes. Some of us fear even the word “change” because sometimes it means uncertainty, instability, unfamiliar, or unlikely. To me, change will only bring growth, and I am my own example of this.

If you have been following along, you might’ve notice the changes to my blog, website, and the way I have referred to God. Here is why...

Lately I’d been sitting in this thought, a thought that became one of the most realistic dreams I have ever had, but when I never “woke up” I realized it was a daydream, a very vivid daydream. 

I was in a church where we worshiped and spoke God’s words, and the people of the church were addressed over God as, “whoever/whatever that looks like to you.” We all felt the power of God, we felt Him, we felt LOVE, and isn’t that what any believer’s knowledge of His intention is for us all?

The thing that I came to understand is that one’s religion is one that works for their way of life-never is it right, nor is it wrong-it is THEIRS, and as God’s people, we are led to LOVE each other and everything, no matter what, always; THIS is what Jesus Christ exemplified for us all.

I realized that it has never been my intention to only address my words to Christians, and never do I want that to be assumed; my intentions are to allow all of you to be a part of my journey, all of you people of God, no matter who you see yourselves as, or who/what God looks like to you. 

I am still in the Word, I still have my worship over my coffee, I pray throughout my day, I need God, I love God, and I love all of you. Much of my growth has come from praying for blessings over you before my own, because it is sincere. 

No, I can’t recite a specific verse in the Bible when an unfortunate circumstance crosses my path, but I know how to pray, I know how to surrender to the things that only God knows and has power over, and I know that because we are all different people, made in different ways, we are going to have different views on what this life is, means, and should be, but at the end of the day we know who to thank, we know why we are here, and we know who we belong to. 

When you support one another only in private, it is most likely because there are some things one does that you do that you don’t agree with and you don’t want others to think you agree with their doings. God doesn’t love us in private. God doesn’t love us based on what we believe in/what our life looks like right now. In support there is Love, each of us are His vessels of Love, of Him. Who we are is because of who He is. Spread His word, Spread His Love. 

[alexandraleeministries]

Let’s dissect ‘manifest’-(04/09/2020)

I’ve been real into definitions lately, I think it comes from some of what God has been speaking to me. I’ve come to understand that life isn’t always meant to be literal, and that is sometimes what I am too much of-literally. I get so caught up in the exact-ness and specifics of things said and/or done that I have missed the significance of/behind a conversation. 

I talk, a lot, to God and to the spiritual nature of things, but I don’t spend enough time talking things into existence. I have blinded myself from where I truly see myself because of where I am today: unemployed. Until I became aware of my being and the things that make up who I am-today, I realized that an income is not the foundation of the stability I foresee myself having in the future, it is a stable MIND!

In the literal picture, yes I am unemployed, but in retrospect, BECAUSE I am unemployed I have been given the chance to understand these things about myself and all of that around me. Things have had to happen in order for each one of us to be where we are today, and I will say this one thousand times over because 1) it brings me to the peace that I deserve to have, and 2) it is just that TRUE! We have all been set up for this very moment. What is your moment for?

My moment has been to manifest: adjective-clear or obvious to the eye or mind; verb-display or show (a quality or feeling) by one's acts or appearance; demonstrate.

Notice that there is a foundation in the definition, allowing us, the readers, to understand that manifestation comes from a clear picture to the eye or MIND, and then we are brought to understand that THROUGH OUR ACTS/ appearance we demonstrate this definition. We make manifest literal when we mindfully see it and then act it out.

As with anything else, you will not receive what you do not pursue: peace, happiness, kindness, love, etc.; AKA, to daydream it isn’t enough, we must work towards it and allow ourselves to only be close to the things/people who bring about what we want for ourselves. Think happy, be happy. Think peace, have peace. Think success, achieve success. The comma in between retrieving those things represents the work that must be put in before so.

When I see the stable life in my future it is because I know that I am currently working to receive it, in my thoughts. I have learned my triggers, from people to things, and I don’t allow my peace to be obstructed anymore like I used to. I am in control of my stability and I am manifesting myself towards it through visualizing and speaking of myself in the way I truly see myself.

God is allowing certain things to fall together before me because I am aiding the spirits around me in setting myself up too.

Be true to your being. Attract the spirits that attract the goodness you want.

[alexandraleeministries]

Don’t place yourself in God’s place-(03/30/2020)

As we come into clarity with this major step in our lives, it is of upmost importance that we recognize, understand, and respect the place that God, and only God, has in this journey. 

We often times hear that we shall not to judge others, and we say unto others that only God can judge us, but yet we find ourselves slipping into judgements as we scroll through social media, then in we go to a specific person's profile to find out a little bit more about who they are-or who they want us to see them to be, at least, and then we begin to surpass judgements on what they wear, who they hang around with, what they are doing, why they are out when we are supposed to be staying home, etc...

People reveal to you what they want you to see, and that is that. We must not prey into their lives, but we should pray for their wellbeing, we must not make judgements towards where they are, rather, acknowledge what it probably took for that person to get there. 

I find this important to express because today I revealed a “secret” of mine through my podcast. I don’t define this as a “secret” for any other reason, or any other person but those who find my CURRENT circumstances to be something I shall feel, perhaps, “embarrassed” about as a Christian. Until today, a part of me felt like it was something I knew I wanted to share with you all, but I kept pulling myself back because I let the world make me think of myself as less of a Christian. Until today, I had been allowing this part of me to play a part in who I am and who I was NOT able to be; transparent with you all. Until today, I never recognized how much power I was giving to the judgment, and those who shine the (dark) light of judgment, towards me because of where I have found myself placed, today, currently, right now.

The truth here is that: I live with my boyfriend. 

Obviously, this is not the “ideal” situation for anybody who is trying to abide by God’s Way, nor is it for anyone who grew up in a Hispanic cultural backgrounded family like I did, but it is where I found myself based on the course that I allowed my life to take. Had I been where I am in my relationship with God right now back then, I probably would have held back on a lot of the decisions I made, but it took me making those specific decisions and me finding myself where I am at today to know that I needed more of God in my days. 

We do not know what is to come, we can only pray and ask for what we want. God has His plan, and I am where I am to learn a lesson, to receive the blessings, and all that is in between. I am where God has placed me because of where I was before being here. 

I am not thriving to be the perfect example to anyone, but I am thriving to be an example that one day we realize that we have been the ones holding ourselves to bondage from God’s grace because of who and what we choose to surrender ourselves to. You become a slave to who/what you CHOOSE to obey.

The fact is, when we pass judgements we are placing ourself in God’s place, and though we have the power of Jesus Christ within us, we ARE NOT God, therefore, who are we to judge?

We are His disciples. We are in control of how much of Him we will receive. We have a responsibility to obey Him in all that we do as best as we can do it. We must remain vigilant, in all areas, and trustworthy towards what we believe, and as followers of Christ, we believe in Him. 

[alexandraleeministries]

God is trying to get your attention-(03/19/2020)

When I decided to start exposing some of the information that I have exposed, whether it be my words in writing or through my podcast, my intent behind it is (and will always be) to glorify the grace of God which has continued to shine through all the doubts I’ve had and wrongful mindedness I have practiced. He helped me come to the realizations that I have today, which were what pushed my first couple of steps towards my healing. Being able to be where I am, in the state of mind I am in, though not perfect, I am able to find the gratefulness in everything, and I have asked God to use me as His vessel to help you realized what He is waiting to do for you too.

It is very common of me to play sermons as I do chores around the house, and it is very common that each time I choose a certain one it turns out to be exactly what I needed to hear. Now, of course, when I search one I will search using words related to what I feel I am going through so it is going to be in relation, but to hear someone else’s words that brings yourself to the revelations of EXACTLY what you are feeling, well, that’s God. Period. :)

Today in Pastor Steven Furtick’s message about anxiety he said: “Now I know this message is for someone because the devil was fighting me-” 

This sermon came on automatically after the previous one I listened to dealing with comparing yourself to others, which I searched because it was what I felt I have been battling with lately. Anyway, it was no coincidence that I heard this because lately I have also been fighting back a message of my own, and why?? WHO, was I fighting?? The devil. And God drew this message to me to realize that.

I encourage you to listen to this message, and draw the revelations that are meant for you to draw from it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMpzvw4yhB8 

By the grace of God, I have come to some very positive outlooks upon what most see to be evil, and it is necessary that I share these ideas, not for followers or credit, but because it is what God has spoken to me to get to you. He is trying to get your attention, and I will obey His plan(s) for me and fill this gap.

God is using this pandemic to get our attention. We have gotten so used to living our lives in such a fast pace, looking to cross the next thing off our to-do lists, searching for the next hit bar to check out, and so caught up in dealing what we are dealing with in separation, that now we are in a literal separation BUT dealing with a common “thing.” During this time we are forced to s l o w down, take a step back and find 20 seconds for a simple task that we do because it is our responsibility for ourselves and our families, yes, I’m speaking of washing your hands. Isn’t it such an eyeopener that something so small like washing our hands, something that we take for granted so much actually plays one of the biggest parts in what we are going through? This is God snapping His fingers at us saying, “Hey, remember me? Who supplied you with water, who supplied you with what you have.”

Not at all am I trying to demeanor this, but I want us to draw our attention back to our Creator of all things, because this too is His doing. We can either allow the enemy to use it as something to break us, or allow it to do what God has intended it to do which is to fall back into prayer, take our responsibility seriously, and encourage each other not to be ignorant towards this. We must acknowledge this just as much as we acknowledge the way it makes one another feel. It is not our duty to validate the feelings of another, but rather encourage each other to be calm and provide a different perspective.  

[alexandraleeministries]

The Lesson in the NOW-(03/08/2020)

At night, when I am beginning to put my mind and body to rest, my spirit speaks to me. There is a sense of vulnerability when you allow yourself to really be at peace, and the first time you receive the beauty of this, I guarantee you, you will never want to dwell on anything ever, ever, again... but you will, as I still do every now and then. I pray a constant prayer to God to help me stay focused and dedicated to peace in order to receive Him, and I encourage you to do the same if ever you find yourself in a place of feeling “stuck.”

Feeling stuck can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. It can mean being literally stuck in the same spot for 30+ minutes, (as I have found myself before overthinking about a thought I thought about but I know I should’t be thinking about until I’ve forgotten what I was thinking about and now I am upset and unmotivated to take another step because my anxiety is up the roof), being stuck can mean a plateau you feel you’ve hit at the gym, or even at work because you aren't given enough responsibility and you know you are capable of more. In order for us to know what/how much we are capable of, we need to really channel in and be in tune with who we are, and what we are feeling as each moment presents itself. It’s important that we be honest with ourselves in order to be able to understand WHY we are feeling this way, and when I can’t figure that out, I ask God.

Step 1- (Yes, again with the steps) Take a breath. As simple as this sounds, I think many of us really forget how much peace a deep breath into the present moment can bring to us. NOTICE: I said “INTO” the present moment. I get so lost in my thoughts that by the time I realize it, I am not where I am/where I am SUPPOSED to be.

Step 2- Now, being at peace, I am able to be in touch with the Holy Spirit, I think ASK GOD FOR HELP. “Lord, help me get out of this dwelling thought and channel back into the moment I should be in. If this thought is of significance, please allow me the ability to act on it at the appropriate time.

There is a time and a place for E V E R Y T H I N G!!!

I wish I could say that I have this practice down 100%, and I am at peace so often in my life that when I walk into a room people can see the Holy Spirit shining from me from within, but that isn’t the case, BUT I have taken the time out of the days in my life to be honest with myself and to know that I am not living in peace to receive God as much as I want to, and now I am able to take the 2 steps towards getting to where I want to be, where God wants me to be. God has been working in me for years, but I never dedicated the time to Him that I have been dedicating now, I never knew HOW to, I never knew what peace He could bring me until He was all I could turn to. It took the seasons that changed me, that I learned from, that I grew through, for me to understand that all along I had NOT been alone, and never will I be.

I like to remind myself that I am “seasoned” through the things I have grown through. Seasoned meaning that I have been prepared for the things I went through before I went through them (or I wouldn’t have gotten through them), I then marinated (sat in thought/action) through the situations as they presented themselves to me to learn all that I learned and now I can TASTE the FREEDOM of the Peace of God.

Yeah, a food correlation always helps life make more sense to me.

As you grow through your days, each little moment at a time, try to remind yourself that in this moment of questions and/or of doubt, there is a lesson that will come out which you will understand later. We have all seen the quote about ‘not understanding what God is doing, but we know that soon we will understand’, well, believe that!!! I want ya’ll to know that I am being spoken to through these words as well, I need to BELIEVE that too! There is a lesson in this moment, which you would’ve only learned having been in the moment you are in now. (There’s some brain grub for ya’).

Lastly, our mindset wasn’t where it is now, we wouldn’t have considered all/who we consider now a year ago because it took where we were at a year ago to know how important it is to really appreciate what you have, whether it’s a little or a lot, YOU HAVE. As long as we HAVE, we can GIVE, so give yourself this understanding, this peace, and this freedom, and then give it to others with your being at peace.

@MYSELF :)

It isn’t a “coincidence” that you have read these words.

Do all you do in Love and Peace

[alexandraleeministries]

I’m Alex and I have a fear of having faith in my faith-(02-26-2020)

It’s easy for us to be told how important it is to “have faith”, but how to keep our faith isn't nearly as stressed. 

What is Faith, anyway?

Faith in the belief in what we don’t know. It’s believing that in between jobs, your bills will get paid. It’s the belief in the ability to rebuild your trust with someone you love when they’ve done everything they possibly could to throw your trust away, at least everything ‘you thought’ they could until they find another way to lose your trust again and now you have to find the faith AND trust in it that things can still get better. 

How can I keep my faith when I’m at the age I said I’d be when I’d be working my dream job, making X amount of money being financially stable and school paid off. How can I keep my faith when I graduated 3 years AFTER I expected to. How can I keep my faith when I still depend on my parents from time to time at an age I expected to have them depending on me. How can I not worry when all of this is going on??

Well, to this day I find myself questioning all of the things that God has asked me not to worry about. I have cared about every detail of every little thing when I know God has asked that we case our care on Him. Why? Because I’m afraid to have faith in my faith. Why? Because WHAT IF it doesn’t go as planned?? What if it doesn't work out?? Then what??

THEN, I FIND A WAY!! Like I realized I did through everything meant to be an obstacle, but truly was only an extra step to take, no big deal.

The facts are: 

1) I am working my dream job, even through I’m not making the money I expected to be at this age, I am working on my faith which has grown so much and this is what I have prayed for more than money. 

2) I graduated! Yes, I took longer than some, but unlike some, I finished and I have every right to be proud of myself for it.

3) I have people to depend on. Some things take longer, and this is one of them, and I should be grateful that I have my family to lean on when I need to and them trusting in me to be there every time they need me to be.

What I learned:

We need to stop setting the expectations on things (and people) around us, that all we can do is work for/towards. We need to believe that they are going to work out, because God has proven to us that they always do, just not when WE expect them toor how we expect them to, but when and how He has intend them to and when He is ready for them to. All we can expect are the things that we know we deserve, the good, and we must believe that we will have it.

The answer, the cure, the person, the thing. God knows what you want, and He is a giver, but we must remain faithful and not get flooded with the “What ifs”. 

The reason I kept going through school was because I kept my faith. I truly knew, in my heart, that I was going to finish. I pictured it happening until it finally did. I didn’t give up because I knew God knew how much I wanted to finish and how hard I was willing to , and did work, to accomplish what He had meant for me all along. 

We all need someone to remind us when we are slacking in our faith, and sometimes we need to let that person be God, other times God uses the one you live with to speak through to you; so listen. Whatever stronghold you feel you are under, keep your faith by thinking and picturing the white light at the end; the goodness of a situation that is as small as a hiccup compared to the greatness that is at the end. We keep our faith by continuing our fight to believe in bigger, to believe in God, even when the world tries to tell us that there is no other way. There is always another way to what God wants for you.

[alexandraleeministries]

I believe in second chance(s) because I have been given them-(02-22-2020)

The beauty about walking with Jesus Christ is how much it can alter your way of thinking and make you realize how influenced your mind was by the world.

Last night my boyfriend received a package from his #1 country music singer and idol, and he was SO excited. He’d already let me know how tough his day at work felt and apologized if he’d carried it over around me, (which he hadn’t), nonetheless, this package could not have come at a better time for him. I was so happy to witness his happiness; it was like a boy’s first Christmas where he was finally big enough to tear the wrapping paper open on his own. He was pulling out each item one at a time, sharing with me what he had gotten, I was working on the computer so each time he’d speak I’d stop what I was doing and give my attention to boyfriend. 

This may be an unhealthy habit of mine, or maybe it’s reflection time that God is giving me to recognize the areas I still need more work on. I still haven't quite defined it yet, but I think it’s good because it allows me to see areas of myself, areas that I have declared to God I want to work on to be better, to be more like Him. These reflection times usually happen when I am alone, and though I have learned to control the amount of negativity that flows in through my mind, like, “You’re so selfish, why couldn’t you stop your work completely and focus on someone else rather than what you were doing?”, I still find myself finding any little area to feel guilty for, which we know is not God’s doing. 

I often wonder if I gave this certain person the time of mine that they deserved, and/or if I deserved the excitement they were sharing with me if I really couldn’t just put my work away for 10 minutes. This obviously is not an example of me living in the “now”, and when I recognize that I try to snap myself back to reality by giving myself the forgiveness and trusting in my faith that then next time I am given the opportunity to, I will be fully there, and I carry on with where I am at.

God knows I want to be more mindful, and anywhere I allow Him to help me, He does.

I could have, and the old me would have been defeated by the guilt I was allowing to fill me through my mind. I would’ve allowed the guilt to take me over and I would’ve been filled with such shame, over something that really is so fixable. 

God is: Second Chance(s)

But the beauty of walking with Jesus Christ is that he will take your hand and walk you back to the good that you did do, that you wouldn’t have done before you began your walk with him. He made me realize that I made the effort, small, but the effort to find a halt in my work, physically turn around, and give my attention to boyfriend; I asked him questions pertaining to what he was showing me because I allowed myself to be interested and not distracted by my work. I shared that time with my boyfriend, and it was genuine, I was as “there” as I could be, and though I could be better at it, I am making progress. The enemy doesn’t want us to see our progress. 

God is: Me coming to my senses that the way the world had influenced me to think (at times) that it is ‘okay’ to be ‘okay’ with not doing something for someone just because they don’t always do it for me.

I could have stayed glued to my computer, made my boyfriend aware that I was busy, made him feel like whatever I was doing was more important than what he was doing, but because I walk with Jesus Christ, I know that neither my things, nor his, nor anyone else’s are more important than their things are to them...and neither are yours than mine.

God is: Showing up to tell my boyfriend how happy it made me to see him so happy over something even after a tough day’s work, because it shows that He remained undefeated, as did my boyfriend.  

God is: revelation. 

[alexandraleeministries]

No longer there, & not there yet-(02/19/2020)

The morning time is the most sacred time of the day to me is what I have learned as I have entered this great season of my health, spiritual, relationship growth. [[When I say relationship, in this context, I mean that of with myself.]] I need this time of the day to 1) give my thanks to God for waking me up for another day to walk with Him and to practice taking the steps to become closer to Him, 2) Remind Him, but mostly myself, that He is my Shepherd, and 3) Ask Him to relieve me of any attacks the enemy is trying to chain me down with. I also analyze my dreams, but today isn’t the day to delve into that.

I have learned that when I wake up and follow my steps, I start the day in peace, I set the tone for that and nothing else, allowing the space in me that is designated for Jesus Christ to open up and become filled with the words of God, His guidance, and the power/strength and readiness for what the day may bring.

As I woke up this morning, I had a triggering thought of a conversation I had last night with some friends, and not just like a general thought, but it was demanding that I remember what I specifically said about this one particular comment…into detail! I was breaking my head trying to figure out what it was I had said, but after about 8 minutes of going nowhere with this I realized THERE WAS NO POINT IN THIS THOUGHT. It was a THOUGHT, in my mind, not in my heart, and yes, therefore it was the enemy.

It took me a lot of practice to be at this point to be able to distinguish the little voice in my head from whether it was in my head or in my heart. You see, once you can do that, you will know and believe that the voice that speaks to you which comes from your heart is God, but in your mind, is the enemy. If the thought is filled with nothingness and no good can come out of it, it is the enemy. Why? Simple: God is only GOOD, for He is LOVE and He will not ask of you to think about anything in your past, especially if it is doing no good for you, giving you no revelation of anything, and He will never ask that you worry of the future, but the enemy, however, longs for you to do all of that BECAUSE he knows it pulls you away from our Father. God will never ask these of you because He want you WITH HIM, and God is nowhere but RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

At this point, as I laid, finally declaring where this thought was coming from, I had realized that the enemy was trying to get me out of my oh-so-sacred morning routine because he knows how much closer it brings me to God. I am a fighter, so there is no question why the enemy would want me on his team, and at times, especially on days after I declare to God out loud that I am HIS, and that the enemy will NEVER WILL ME OVER, it lights up a fire in the enemy’s belly (of emptiness), and triggers him to want to trigger me with the one way he knows how to; getting me to overthink. BUT NOT TODAY!

It was a breakthrough, because rather than allowing myself to sink in the thought for 30 minutes, as I have before, being unable to get my day started as early as I’d like because I am far too deep into this thought of no reason, I turned to God, and I prayed: God, thank you for waking me up today, to another day, another chance to be able to walk with Jesus Christ, You are my Shepherd, and all I do is by you, I ask that you HELP ME to forget the thoughts of yesterday, HELP me to not worry about tomorrow, and to only enjoy where I am right here, right now because this is where You are, and I want to be where you are, I want to be WITH you. I cannot do this without You Lord. I love you, Amen.

So now, as that thought tries to trickle in, or any thought of yesterday or tomorrow for that matter, I can hear God snapping His fingers at me, calling me back to right now telling me, “We are either no longer there”, or “We are not there yet”. He is doing this for me because I asked Him to, I invited Him to, I let Him know that I could not do it without Him, and I’m going to break it to you, neither can you. :)

[alexandraleeministries]

Time to expose a secret-(02/18/2020)

Three months ago I could not have been able to tell you how God’s voice sounds (to me). Three months ago I could not have helped you find God’s voice. Three months ago I really could not feel a reason to bring my mind to peace, until I learned that if not for a mind at peace, God cannot be heard.

My mind has always been so busy. I started having to jot things down here and there about 5 years ago, the notes app on my phone, or a scratch sheet nearby, but it had turned into something I felt forced to do throughout the day, all day, every. single. day. I searched for answers because this was taking over conversations, it was distracting me from my work, it even led to me feeling depressed because I would spend 30 minutes at a time during my days just writing things down, 98% of which was related to my past, or things I imagined, and let’s imagine the levels of anxiety I was held captive to. I labeled myself, I was crazy. The definition of crazy was me. I was having conversations in my mind that I allowed to have control over the rest of my day, all of my days.

This was a secret I held on to, I only ever tried to explain it to the one who finally helped me see and understand what was going on, I’m sure I told a Dr. at one point, I, of course, told my mom because she’s my best friend and this was something I knew I couldn’t face alone, and I somehow found the guts to tell my boyfriend and now I am bringing it out to the few people who may read this because we each have our own “something” that make us feel crazy, and that we are trying to cope with in our own way. I am here to tell you that the way to cope with it is GOD.

I heard God telling me that if I keep all that I have learned through what I have been through to myself, it will serve no purpose other than what it did to myself and that isn’t what I am here for, and I believe that.

So on that note, I shall share Step 1 (Yes, everything is in Steps because God will never expect us to dive head first into any task that we are given to conquer). Step 1 is to remind yourself that you are not crazy. Step 2 and 3 allow yourself to give you healthy reassurance of that and that you are not alone, and you must believe that you are not alone, and whenever you feel filled with the stresses of your “crazy”, you ask God to fill your mind, to fill your thoughts, because you want to think more like Him, you want to speak and do and live more like Him, because don’t you want to? I have been on the search for Christ, and to keep Christ by me/within me because I want to fulfill all the duties I am meant to, I don’t want to miss one of the words God is trying to speak to me, and you do this by seeking and then asking for His help. May I remind you, He is a giver. He will give you what you are asking for if it is what you need at that time.

God doesn’t yell, He doesn’t do things abruptly. God sets you up for exactly what you need to be set up for, but it is our duty to hear what He is asking of us.

Often times we tell each other to pray when we are trying to understand what He wants, and though praying should be something in your nature just like it was to ask mom and dad for that cool new crayon box at HEB that looks just like the one our second grade classmate Perla has. Point being, God also needs His turn to speak.

Once I learned how important it was to keep my mind at “normal”, which Joyce Meyer in “The Battlefield of the Mind” refers to as a mind that is at peace, once I learned that if I didn’t have a peaceful mind I would not be able to hear God’s faint, but powerful voice, I knew I needed to practice a healthier mindset. This includes, yes, tons of prayers, but also tons of QUIET TIME.

How can I have quiet time with God when my mind is racing at 180mph??? Yeah, I wondered that, looked it up, and to this day I still find that on some days it takes half an hour and a bunch of “God, you there”’s to finally hear something. You just have to be present. Practice mindfulness. I have practiced meditating, literally training to be able to have quiet time with God, it is that important to me and should be to you too as a follower of Christ.

God always plants the seeds, and growing up, he was planting the seed of mental health in me, and through this I have learned exactly why. I’m sure there is something “random” you sometimes find yourself draw to, and you ask yourself “WHY”, well, that’s not random, it’s God and He is the reason you have listened and studied on that particular topic so often. Whether it’s makeup, car motors, or how our brain works, God has His purpose with you!

I came to understand why this had been happening. This, during the years that I was trying to commit myself to the Lord more than ever before, some may have guessed it by now, and though I don’t wan’t to give him the opportunity to (unwelcome) guest appear in another one of my pieces, it is important that you truly understand the works of the enemy, this way you distinguish it and set it apart, so yes; these have been the works of the UNWELCOME-NEVERAGAINWELOMED guest: the enemy.

The enemy wants to strip you of your happiness, and we are not warned of his capabilities enough. The enemy attacks the things you are already insecure about, for me it was my past because being away from my family there was so many things I came across on the daily that reminded me of little brother, or mom, or just being back home in general, and I still get homesick every now and again, and I also found myself dwelling on past hurts that would make me imagine the possibilities of it happening again.

After studying, lots of studying, I learned that we are not to worry, and now whenever I hear, “it’s God’s plan”, the meaning of that is so much more personal because I know and have heard God’s voice.

Today, I have been asked, “How did you hear Him? How does He sound?” Today, I have a reason to bring my mind to peace, I have INTENTION. Today I can tell how to find God’s voice, how to hear Him.

He loves to hear your voice in prayer, He longs to hear it aloud, which the enemy despises both those things because when you pray you are allowing God the opportunity to be present; which is the only place He is at right now: HERE and NOW. Just how I mentioned that God awaits His invitation, He also awaits His turn to speak, God has manners :)

Allow God the opportunity to speak to you, give Him the floor, give Him the turn He so much deserves, the turn He has been waiting for.

I want to encourage you to end your prayer with inviting our Lord and Savior to speak to you, ask that He tells you what He’s been longing to tell you, let Hime know you are listening and be as patient with Him as He is with us all.

I pray that you continue to be guided towards the doors that He is opening for you, as well as to close those He has meant for you to close.