alexiabae

[alexiabae]

SHIVER

ALEXIA'S EX GIRLFRIEND

ADDICTED

[alexiabae]

2024; fc barcelona femení x fem!reader

Summary: the 25/26 campaign for barcelona's squad was the most disastrous until the date. so after the players asked for a new head coach, natalia arroyo brings a new fresh air and new staff team.

Warnings: delicate topics, fluff, very long, a mysterious fb!player x fem!reader romance, slow burn.

Note: I don't know why I wrote this.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

Alexia never thought to use her name for something, and specially to bring someone out of the team. She had many conversations with her teammates, where all of them have her back and support the idea. After discussing it with them, she discussed it in the office to communicate that they aren't happy with the result of this past season. The number of matches they lost made Alexia blush, they lost the league for the first time in a long time, remaining third behind Atlético de Madrid and for the first time in their history, Real Madrid won. It didn't finish there, in the Champions League they almost were out on the group stage, staying second and because Frankfurt's team lost their game. They fell on the quarter final against Bayern Munich, the worst performance that Barcelona's squad played in a long time, the amount of mistakes they have, failing easy passes, miscalculating and not talking about the goals. They didn't score, just received. The players waited for indications that never came, and all they did was remain on the pitch and wait for it to end, apologising later for their performance.

National tournaments were the same, they lost the Supercopa semifinal and at least in La Copa de la Reina they fell in the final, still it hurt.

A team like this fell and no one made a move to prevent it from falling. It angered them, to the point where in one of the last bond nights of the season —over for them from months— they decided to speak up, again. They did it, Alexia alongside Marta and Patri the three captains of the Catalan club, talk about it with the people in charge of their section. They only promised to hold and wait, and keep working hard, like if they stopped from doing it. With their jaws clenched, the three players communicated to the rest the result and after many discussions, they did exactly that.

But not anymore.

That night they explode and decide to write in a paper everything they want to explain to them, starting with the resignation of the head coach of the club. They have enough, it showed in his first season but still they manage to win the league and reach the final of the Champions League, but they all suffer that season. What they didn't know was the start of a decline on the next one.

So after many hours and days of discussion, the three captains come back to the offices and on the heat of the argument, Alexia tiredly, but firm announce that if the situation is keeping like that, she is out of the club.

Marta and Patri look at her surprise, that offer never showed up. Alexia's chest is going wildly, but she made a decision. A risky one, but she can't anymore with the situation, why does she or they need to intervene to change when it's obvious they need it?

She crossed her arms on her chest with a fierce look, a leg moving uncontrollably under the table, her posture on the chair is challenging but she is feeling the opposite.

"Tomorrow I'll give an answer."

Nodding with her head, it's the most they can afford. Alexia isn't waiting for an okay, I'll do it or a dismissal for their part, she wants for them to realise that if they didn't pay attention to the players, there are consequences.

Out of there, Patri smack Alexia's arm repeatedly with an alarming face. Marta asked her for an explanation, but Alexia shrugged and kept walking to the changing room, saying she would explain everything there.

•••

After many reunions, even the president of the club's intervention on their negotiations to make Alexia change her mind and stay at the club, offering a raise of the salary and an extension to prolong her contract, she only put a condition to stay.

Bring a new head coach and I'll stay.

She is firm, the Catalan doesn't want any of their offers, maybe the prolonging of her contract, but what she cares about right now is if she leaves, the club needs to be like before.

So they listen to them, to her and bring a new head coach. They didn't know who would be, but there is a massive step here, they are free from the people who didn't care about them.

The day of the announcement, Claudia sent a link to the group chat;

🚨 FC BARCELONA FEMENÍ

New head coach announcement!

We are delighted to announce to you all who the new head coach is!

Natalia Arroyo is the new in charge of the Condal club, assuming the responsibility to take our girls back to the top again!

The Catalan coach couldn't reject the offer. Natalia has been without training any club since the start of this year, when Aston Villa rescinded the contract. We are very happy to announce this new agreement between the club and Natalia Arroyo, who shows her emotion to come back to coach another Spanish team, the last one was Real Sociedad.

Read more ↓

The group chat was burning, all of them very pleased with the new change and who is. They heard in the past her name being linked with the club.

Sighing relief, they spend their holidays without worry and wanting to come back to training with other expectations.

•••

With other energy on the ambient, Barcelona's players started to approach for the first day of training for the upcoming preseason.

Natalia approaches the changing room after knocking on the door. With a kind smile on her face, she greets them happily. The older players went to greet her with a hug, knowing the woman for a long time and because they coincided with her in the Catalan team. After exchanging some words, the coach instructed them to go to the meeting room.

Alexia is one of the first to walk there, Mapi and Aitana flying behind her. They are commenting on some anecdotes through their summer, their tan skin showing up on the new summer kit training. The hazel eyes of the captain look around once she goes inside, greeting their coach again. She could see a few new faces behind Natalia, sharing the same Barça clothes as them. However someone else catches Alexia's attention, the one a little apart from the small group, behind the desk typing something in a laptop and Natalia is sitting there maintaining a friendly chat with her. It surprised her a little about the appearance of this woman, looking young and another circumstance Alexia would think she is a new player.

Mapi soon points her out in a whisper to them, the defender sits down next to her captain in the first row, Aitana chooses to sit on the second row just behind them.

Soon, the meeting room was getting full and when the players were seated, Natalia closed the door and clapped calling their attention and coming back to learn on the desk looking at them.

"Well, firstly hello!" She leaves a small laugh waving a hand in the air, the players greet her back with cheer on her voice. "I know the major part of this team knows who I am, but I'm going to introduce myself to the ones who didn't. I'm Natalia and like you see, I'm going to be your new head coach. That small group is my staff team, and the second coach is this one," Natalia points with her thumb to the person behind her, who greets them shyly with a soft wave of her hand still standing behind the desk. "I know what you are thinking, she looks around your age after all. Her name is Y/N and very shy, but once she trust you would be your worst nightmare," Natalia gives you a knowing smirk, hearing how some of the players leaves out a chuckle by her comment and your reaction. The coach cleared her throat and again clapped with her hands, her expression turning serious. "Before we start to explain what we want for what's coming, I heard what you did and I'm very proud of you all. This team didn't deserve to be treated the way they treat you, so hopefully we can help to bring some happiness and win things, right?" Some of them have a playful expression on their faces, others join Natalia to tease a little about the last comment, making the room laugh. Then, they proceeded to explain what would happen in the next few weeks, the upcoming friendly matches and the Champions Leagues' ones.

"No need to be ashamed of it, girls. Sometimes things like that happen and you still have the opportunity to be classified and I'm sure this team would be in the Champions League this season. So please, leave out the negative thoughts and let's go to training!" Natalia walked out from the desk, going to open the door and remained there while the players started to go out.

That first day feels the best in a long time. The training is fluid, laughs filled the pitch and the competitiveness is showing up. Alexia notices you taking notes in a small notebook behind Natalia, eyes on them and scribbling there in a concentrated face, she feels a little curious. On the break to have lunch, your name approaches between them, curiosity showing their tones and trying to guess your personality, not always you have someone young to be a coach or this case, second in charge.

Ingrid is the first one who approached you, the Norwegian coincidence with you when she was to pick her food, you are standing there picking food for yourself. Friendly, Ingrid compliments your hair and gives you a small smile when you thank her shyly, moving aside to leave her some space. Once the tall brunette goes to the table where Mapi is awaiting her after the wave with a hand for her to go there, she shrugs with a smile the moment her girlfriend asks her about what you talked about.

However, the next day they would find you a little more involved with them. After they warm up, Natalia announces they will play a small match between them, she and you would choose two teams.

With their curiosity on, Natalia says Alexia's name first. They all look at you, gripping your notebook between your hands, you muttered Jana's name. A small surprise is showing on their faces, even the own player walking to your side, usually when they pick, the defenders are left out until the end, at least you are very good in that position. Natalia chose Salma, you choose Ingrid. They give their six names to form their teams, the ones who have not been named walked to the shadow and commented on what would happen.

You walked towards the team you form picking up the bib and passing it to them to put it on. Once they are ready, you put yourself in front of them.

"The only thing I want from you, is to keep the ball." You say simple, ignoring the weird looks they are giving you. "I don't want you to score and I don't mind if they score you, just try to keep the ball the most you can." You inform them, they nod slowly. "And Jana, you are the captain." You give her a lipped smile and walk out of the pitch, indicating that everything is said and they walk to their positions.

Unsure, they were positioned in their natural positions since you didn't say anything to them about how they should be lined up. Under the goal is Ellie, in the defensive line are Ona, Ingrid, Jana and Esmee, Aitana in the midfield and Kika up alone. Natalia walked next to you and asked if everyone was ready, then she whistled and the little match started.

Your team is struggling for the command you made, it's not like they are doing it on purpose it's just after two touches, they have someone behind and kicks the ball out of their feet. Two goals after, Jana thinks she is understanding what is happening, so she passed the ball to Ingrid and this one passed it to her again. She passed it to Ellie and once again the ball landed on her feet, good three touches and the ball is still on their side. Risking, she passes the ball to Esmee who is to her right. The Dutch pass it quickly to Aitana when Alexia chases her, the brunette grazes her booth enough to pass it to Ona. They are like that for a while, the game is getting heated by the moment but they are with the ball.

Then, Aitana lost the ball and again they entered the spiral from the start. Alexia's team scored again, her face shows confusion for the strategy your team has but remains quiet, seeing you and Natalia share some words with hands on your mouths.

It worsened because every time they passed the ball to Aitana, this one lost it. The frustration is showing on the midfielder, who soon scowled in your direction but didn't say anything. Jana had enough and approached her teammate, saying with a firm tone what she needs to do. She saw how Aitana clenched her jaw but nodded in her direction, going to chase the opponent.

When Aitana snatched the ball from Ewa, she passed it to Kika, feeling a little better with herself. They are keeping the ball for the second time with long passes, the ball going out when it collides with Salma's foot.

"I'm going to change the line!" You raise your voice from your position, making the teams look at you while you keep looking at your notebook while you keep scribbling. "The defensive line up! Kika in the midfield and Aitana defending."

They all look at you stunned, searching Natalia's eyes for an explanation after a few seconds, but the coach shrugged and kept her arms crossed. Biting the inside of her cheek, Aitana wipes the sweat off her forehead with the bib and walks near the box while the defenders jog up.

Surprisingly, the defensive line keeps the ball between them good. Aitana's senses are high, focusing on every pass and going to help Kika. However the moment the other team has the ball, she is struggling with Salma, who is winning her every battle they are having. Aitana is fuming at that point, still she remains quiet.

The next time Salma scored, you indicate for Esmee to accompany Aitana, leaving the defensive line with three defenders.

Jana started to yell command to her team, giving encouraging words to Aitana every time she failed. It's been awhile since she understood the strategy you gave them, but it seems Aitana still couldn't figure it out. It's mostly for the defensive line exercise, that's why you choose mostly those players. However Kika is not struggling like Aitana, she seems very focused and barely has any mistakes to keep the ball between her feet.

"A break!" Natalia whistles, the rest of the players approach to give them bottles to hydrate. "Now, we are changing sides and this team is with me now." She points to the team you made, Aitana almost leaves a content sigh when she hears her, Mapi elbowed her side but the brunette rolled her eyes and kept sipping from the bottle.

Ten minutes later, you ignore the frown in Alexia's face and give the strategy. "I want you all to hold this." You approached them and gave Claudia a rugby ball. "Every time you give a pass, you need to throw it to the person you passed." You instructed, looking at them briefly. "Ah, I would like to change the captain, if that's okay with you." She looks at Alexia, who slowly nods with her head with a look that says everything. "I want Cata to be the captain."

Now, it's the other team who take the lead. Aitana seems more comfortable and it's playing like herself, finding Kika, Ona and Esmee easily. Alexia flinches with every minute passing, throwing at your way an annoying look when they lose the ball. The only ones comfortable are Salma, Claudia and Cata. Irene, Alexia and Frido are struggling.

"Why do we need to do it?" Alexia snapped throwing the rugby ball to the ground, stepping towards you for an explanation.

Irene puts a hand on her shoulder, whispering her name.

"I like this." Claudia comments, the small smile on her face washing out when Alexia gives her a look.

You look at her impassive, playing with the pen in your fingers. "Because I said it." You say softly, a hint of firmness in your voice.

Alexia's frown deepened, not liking your answer. Claudia paints a smirk, winking in your direction before she walks to pick a bottle to drink. The blonde looks at Natalia, but she remains quiet and gives a lipped smile to the midfielder. Irene brings her back to the pitch, not having the same problem with the rugby ball even if she is struggling like her.

Mapi and Patri make a bet for how long it would take Alexia to snap again.

•••

The next day Alexia and Aitana give you a frown when they see you, the contrary that Ingrid, who approaches you with a content face and makes conversation with you.

When Natalia announces to them that you would be in charge of the next exercise, the midfielders are relieved when they aren't chosen for this one.

"I want you to play the ball in short." She says shortly, looking at Mapi and Irene. They nod, seeing how you call for Kika and Ewa to attack them. "It's the only thing I want, okay? If some of them touch the ball, you start again until you make it."

Nodding, Cata gives the ball to Mapi to put it in play. There is a mannequin pretending to be the player who would receive the ball, Mapi and Irene need to find the right pass to do. But it isn't happening, Kika and Ewa are blocking Mapi perfectly when she tries to play. You can see the frustration forming on Mapi's face, so you stop the exercise.

"Kika and Ewa, leave her to come out." You instruct when you put the mannequin in another position. Then, you approach the two forwards and whisper what they are going to do. Nodding with their heads, they put themselves in the midfield.

With expectation, you indicate to Mapi to start. The Aragonese jog with the ball, Irene staying behind to defend. Kika is letting Mapi approach the midfield area, frowning a little the defender keeps her eyes on the players and thinks fast to give the pass. Out of nowhere, you yell to Frido to put like full back and help Mapi to create a play. Then, the moment Mapi gives a pass to the Swedish player Kika throws herself to the pitch and cuts the pass, running for the ball and passing it to Ewa.

They are like that for a few minutes, until Mapi yells angrily at herself. You stopped the exercise and put yourself next to the Portuguese forward, who has the ball under her foot. You patted her shoulder and whispered a good job only for her to hear, Kika nods with a small smile, content to hear the compliment.

"Don't you see it?" You ask calmly while you step towards Mapi, whose breath becomes agitated by the previous exercise. The defender has a frown, with an irritated gaze she looks down briefly, her eyes half closed for the sun shining on her face. "You don't know how to keep the ball when they do that." You look at Frido too, the Swedish has both hands on the sides of her waist and biting her lower lip. Your voice didn't sound mad, it's calm. "It's where you failed more last season."

Mapi clenched her jaw, her breathing becoming normal. She sees you how you ask Kika for the ball and then, you walk towards her with it in your hands.

"It's weird to see something you know to do and fail constantly." You point to Mapi to follow you and walk to the box, leaving the ball there. "You two are the weak side of the team when you play in short." Mapi bites the inside of the cheek, flinching when she hears you. Frido lowered her head, weakly nodding towards your words. "And they knew it. Come here Mapi."

The defender walks towards you with heavy steps, behind the ball. "They are letting you play while covering the pass you would give to the midfielders, so the only pass you would give is the wings back or move the ball back. It's what they want and then, they press in both ways." You pause, the attention of the whole team on your explanation. "They want you to forget the strong side for them. How many times Graham is alone and you didn't see her?" At this mention, Mapi plays with her tongue and doesn't say anything, just shrug. "They don't want you to play to that side and they are successful. So will start to work, okay? You need to know where your players are, they always will be there. Put it." You tend to Mapi a black blindfold, the defender picks it up from your hands, doubting about it.

When Mapi has the blindfold on, you instruct her what to do. You walk to the sidelines and ask for some of them to go to the pitch. Once everything is settled, you put behind Alexia and you whistle, seeing Mapi kick the ball in your direction but fail for a few meters to her right. When you whistle again, this time Mapi gives a good pass, Alexia catching the ball easily with her foot. You clap at her and indicate she made it, Mapi shouts at you if she can do it again.

A few minutes like that, you order at Mapi to pull off the blindfold and do it with the exercise before.

You jog towards Mapi and raise her head to the level you wanted. "Focus on your teammates, when they pressed you to give large passes or when they leave you jogging with the ball, you need to know where your teammates are."

Mapi nods, with a different restore inside of her, she is determined to learn the mistake and perfection it. You whistle and Mapi jog with the ball, quickly taking a look at her teammates in time when Claudia comes to attack her, she passes the ball to the other side, to Esmee. The Aragonese started to be motivated and asked to do it again and again and again until Natalia indicates that it is enough, making Mapi pouts a little in her direction.

Taking their breath, you sit down on the ball in front of them. This action called their interest, turning their bodies to pay you their full attention. "I want to have a little chat about something I think is important." You start, hands intertwining while you take a look at them. "It's about Turin," you name it carefully, noticing the change on some faces when they hear you. "We need to work on that, it's not possible until today you still have struggled with it and when you lose, the first thing in your mind is “like Turin”, because it's not." You say firm, but there is gentleness in your voice. "You need to take away the expectation, the favouritism, the things that make you all don't believe. The fear of making people support you wastes their money on you." The last comment hurts more than they want to admit, you can feel it on their faces. "They support your team and support you, no one is asking them to travel or come to every match, they care about you, keep that in mind." You finished, standing up with the silence formed for your words. "And Natalia wants to remind you that we have a vacancy for the third captain, Aitana and Mapi are the chosen ones. Good luck choosing." This comment brings back the calm and teasing laugh, a different perspective where the air felt lighter.

That day Alexia has more respect for you, even if she still couldn't understand the exercise you put on the last day.

•••

The third day, the team gathered in the meeting room. Natalia is giving indications of the opposing team they will face next week. While the coach was talking, you approached them with books in your arms, giving one to every player.

"There is everything about the rival team, I add the opponents in the Champions League too. Please, what I gave save it for the next ones. The pages are recycled, for if you want to know..." You explain when Natalia stopped talking, walking back next to her.

Alexia opened the black cover, a photocopy with a neat letter very detailed, greeting her. Soft whispers start to be heard when they open it too, the midfielder sees small tips about the rival, a column with different colours with their own names, and a lot more that leave Alexia very perplexed.

"Alexia made you do this?" Mapi asks loudly, making some of them laugh while Alexia blushes and hiss her name, giving her friend a look.

You chuckle softly, blushing too. You shake your head, commenting that you like the details that nobody pays attention to.

"You need to study every page about this team." You add, pointing to Mapi with her finger in a teasing way.

"I wish it was like this when I needed to study in high school..." Mapi comments, going through the pages and seeing photos, underlined lines in different colours, links and many more.

"Agree." Claudia mutters next to her, some humming agreeing with both of them.

Natalia winks in your direction, patting your arm friendly.

"Did you write it?" Ingrid asks, raising a hand in the air. You nod, making her look at you impressed. She didn't know how to feel, but she felt appreciated by your efforts. "Thank you."

You give her a small smile.

Natalia cleared her throat and brought the attention towards her again, starting to explain what they would do after the meeting was over.

After training, Natalia suggests doing a little game that you would explain. They gathered around you two, some of them with bottles on their hands or with their arms crossed waiting for you to explain.

"It's simple, you are going to put on a blindfold," you show it in the air for them to watch. "and your teammate would help you to shoot the ball to the goal. Like you could see, we put obstacles for the one who has this on." You point with a hand the places where the obstacles are scattered. "Alexia, you are first." You give a quick look to your notebook, giving a lipped smile to the captain.

Alexia steps towards you and picks the blindfold, a small frown on her features. You call Jana, instructing her that she would be the one in charge to guide her blinded teammate. Once Alexia covers her eyes, she waits for you to start. However, she couldn't hide her surprise expression when she felt a warm touch wrapping her left hand.

They need to do it like that.

They jogged together, the soft indication in Jana's voice came two seconds later. Alexia turns to the right with the ball glued on her foot, Natalia's voice indicating that they need to do it faster. In a strong grip, Alexia does what Jana is telling her, leading the way. After sorting the penultimate obstacle, Jana guides her to the left and yells at her to shoot the ball. Alexia could hear how it hit the crossbar, but a soft palm on her shoulder and the victorious voices of her teammates tell her that she scored.

The Catalan pulls the blindfold off and high five with Jana, who gives her a wide smile. She sees how the ball ran out of the goal, still Alexia scored and didn't trip on her way there.

The next ones are Patri and Vicky.

"I put you with her because you wouldn't be mad." You explain shyly to Alexia when she approaches the group, making her laugh quietly while shaking her head slowly.

"And you are right. You put me with someone else and if I fail, it's for their fault." Alexia comments back, a teasing smile remaining on her lips watching how Patri trips with the mannequin because Vicky pushes her softly, the whole group starts to laugh and Patri protests to do it again and with someone else, giving a bad look to the young player who didn't see guilty for what she did.

•••

"Euskal Herritik?" Irene asks loudly after the last meeting, she is sitting on the chair with her arms crossed.

You turn to look at her. "Guipuzkoa." You say, mirroring her smile.

"Finally someone from the same place." Irene comments, making some of them chuckle. She raised her hand in the air, you step towards her way and accept the gesture. "I'm tired of the Catalan surrounding this team..." She smirked widely when the Catalans complained, rolling her eyes when Claudia tells her that she is in a Catalan team and what she is waiting to be the players there.

They have the last training before the friendly match they have tomorrow. Natalia makes them gather around her while she tells her first line up for the upcoming match.

"And Aitana will be the third captain, Mapi let me know that she prefers Aitana to be the captain." Natalia finishes, dismissing them.

What they didn't know is that, later you give Natalia your own line up. A line up that makes Natalia smile reading the small comments you put under their names to be starting tomorrow. She comments on you to give her earlier, but congratulate you for having a different line up.

If Alexia needs to explain who they see themselves in that friendly match, it's wonderful. She feels like they are coming back to their roots, to where they belong and it inspired her confidence. Natalia took her out in the second half to give the youngest players minutes, she sees you sitting writing furiously in your inseparable notebook, sometimes standing up and walking to Natalia to share a comment. It's been awhile since Alexia saw someone with that emotion for what they are doing, and watching you doing them, makes Alexia feel proud. She barely knows you, but she senses that you care about what you are doing.

They won by three goals.

The next day after recovery time, Natalia ordered them to accompany her to the pitch. When they are approaching, they see you there sitting in a ball waiting for them.

"We are practicing penalties." Natalia says when they gather around you. "Y/N is in charge of this exercise, so when you want. They all are yours." She smiled, stepping aside and walking behind the group.

Clearing your throat, you instructed them to step out of the box. With the ball in your hands, you call Alexia's name.

"I'm sorry to always start with you." You say when she steps towards you.

Alexia dismissed it, reassuring you that she prefers it that way.

"Okay. Please Cata, go to the goal." You ask gently, putting the ball on the white dot. "Don't shoot until I tell you." You see how Alexia nods, unaware of what you have in mind.

You walk towards Natalia and grab her wrist, stepping a few centimetres away from Alexia. You lean and whisper only for Natalia to hear what you are going to do, when she nods, you cross your arms and fix your eyes on the player.

"Do you think she can score?" You comment in a low voice, but enough for Alexia to hear. After seeing Alexia's eyebrow twitch, you look at Natalia. "What if she misses it?"

Alexia bites the inside of her cheek, removing her gaze from you. The hands on her hip tighten, hearing Natalia comments back at you.

"We can change the one to shoot the penalty." Natalia says back, shrugging.

Alexia could feel you approaching, only looking at you when she notices her eyes on her. She raises an eyebrow, her jaw very tight for what she heard. The midfielder is getting annoyed by the seconds you keep looking at her, the whisper behind her didn't help.

"Shoot." You simply say, stepping aside.

Cata puts on position, eyes focusing on her teammate and tries to guess the possibilities she has to stop the ball. However, she didn't need to move from the spot because Alexia missed it.

Biting her lip hard, Alexia lowered her head. She didn't want to look at you, not after what happened. You bring a hand briefly on her shoulder to bring her attention towards you, but she didn't look at you, still you know you have her attention.

"What bothers you more? The comments or that I stayed looking at you?" Her hazel eyes were raised from her shoes and fixed in you. Alexia processed what you questioned her, and after meditating she whispered the truth.

"Both, mainly the staring part." Alexia whispered, licking her lips.

You nod, putting in front of Alexia. "Close your eyes." You gently whisper. The captain thinks of paying you attention, but she does it. "Now, think in your family. Your friends, your mother..." Alexia is not understanding the sense of this, but once again she obligated herself and scratched her mind for moments with them. "Think on the dumbest but meaningful detail that brings you happiness, that every moment it shows in your head, you smile." In her mind came immediately one, the one she treasured for herself on her lowest moments or when she values what she archived. Blinking weakly, Alexia's eyes become watery and nod with her head towards you. "Got it? Okay, take another try." You give her a lipped smile and quickly, you step towards Cata to whisper something and pick the ball up on your way back, positioning it for Alexia.

If the occasion was different, the Catalan would put the ball like she wanted, but not now. She closed her eyes again and took a deep breath, opening them with the memory in her mind. Alexia makes a run and shoots the ball hard to the right corner, smiling proudly when the sound of the net resounds around them.

No one says anything, maybe because you told them to make any sound. You ask her if she wants to try again and Alexia nods, doing the exact same thing you instructed, this time her teammates cheer loudly when she scores.

You pat her shoulder friendly and tell her to come back with them. With the ball under your foot, you see how Alexia is being cuddled by them. "Before we continue with this, I want to clarify some things." You start when they bring their attention to you again. "I'm going to bring up some topics that I think would hurt you or it stings. I'm not a psychologist, so please, you are free to not answer me or tell me that you don't prefer to share it here with us, but keep it in mind. We want to help you, and we have a phenomenal psychologist that would gladly help you."

After a pause, you keep talking. "I'm going to bring topics from clubs like national teams too. What I did with your teammate is what I think she struggles when she needs to take a penalty, I try my best to help you to take penalties without your mind interfering. Salma, you are next sorry."

Some of them chuckle, Salma stepping towards you with a lipped smile and positioning next to you. She put both hands behind her back, brown eyes focusing on you.

"Do you feel like you are the best of the team?" You ask, not in a provoking tone or trying to mock her, it's just a calm question.

Salma frowns and shakes her head. "No." She answers you immediately.

Licking your lips, you nod with your head for the answer. "Well, I do think that you are one of the best. A player that —collectively— won almost everything. How old are you?"

You see how the striker blushes. "I'm 22." She clears her throat, tilting her head in your direction.

"It's not bad if you believe you are a good player, Salma. You archived a lot for a young age and it's so admirable." You comment, your voice sounding sincere. Salma keeps smiling, muttering a thank you to your way. "Do you feel pressed against Brazil's match?"

That question takes her off-guard, the air changes around them with that one. Salma looks briefly behind her shoulder and sees some of her teammates uncomfortable. Looking at you back, the brunette nods.

"I did." Salma confess. It isn't necessary for you to explain which match you are recalling, they vividly remember that fateful match.

"Even if there were ten more players, you felt alone?" You questioned, Salma below her head and nod. "They leave a young player to save them." Your comment makes Salma bite the inside of her cheek hard. "If you score, you were an amazing player and the saviour but if you lose..." You trailed off, walking slowly in circles. "Do you want to take the penalty?" You ask casually, leaving the conversation aside and like nothing suggesting that.

Salma raised her head and alternated her gaze between you and the ball. She nods, but she is afraid it looks like an unsure gesture. Taking a breath, she waits for you. You whistle and Salma takes a run, missing massively the shot. She feels embarrassed, the ball didn't reach the goal and got lost to the other empty pitch.

There is silence, and somehow Salma feels it is worse than any fun comment.

"No need to be embarrassed about it." You approach Salma, squeezing her shoulder gently. "Once again, I'm not a psychologist, I'm going to repeat it many times because it's the truth. Do you know because I chose Alexia first?" You ask her, Salma shakes her head. "Because I know what she fears or I least, an intuition about what it is. Alexia feels uncomfortable when people fix their eyes on her, I only spent one minute looking at her and I'm sure she felt like an eternity, maybe that same people would say that she would be used to this type of thing, and the truth is that she is human. About the comments... They wouldn't hurt more than what you tell yourself." You pause, looking through the group. "Why did she score when I calm her? Because she holds onto a memory that makes her happy. She has been criticized for the recent penalties she took in charge and I know she practiced them, and I know that after this training Alexia would practice them but in a different manner that maybe make it work when in a match, she takes a penalty." You explain the best you could, eyes only on Salma. "Close your eyes."

Salma does what you said, feeling a shadow in front of her. After a pause, you talk again. "Sea or mountain?"

"Sea." Salma says immediately, not understanding why you ask but didn't question anything.

"Of course, my bad." You see how Salma relaxes her features, a soft small smile on her lips. You type something in your phone and curse yourself when a spot approaches when you press on the relaxing sound. "Okay, listen to it." You put the phone close to her ear, the soft sound of the waves is the only noise around you. You are like that for a few minutes until another spot show and some snort were heard. "I want you to pretend that you are on the shoreline, and your problems stay there. You would resolve them at the right time, you would fall and stand up or just keep walking because you are strong. If you miss a penalty, that's okay. You would come back. You know how long it takes when the referee whistles for it, in that time your mind puts you in the worse place sometimes. When it happens, you close your eyes and think about anything that calms you. Your family, friends, your teammates, when Patri trips because she is awkward..." A soft hey was heard behind Salma, you see how the tall brunette slipped a wide smile. "Think about the exercise I put in the other day, when you were blindfolded and your teammate guided you. They have your back, Salma. Remember that always." You finished saying, not removing the phone from her ear. She keeps her eyes closed and maintained like that until she feels ready, there are emotions in her eyes when she opens them.

When she nods, you save your phone in your pocket and nod towards Cata, smiling when Salma shoots the ball inside of the goal in an unstoppable way.

Clapping, Salma repeats the penalty and comes back with the group.

You decide to light the mood a little, Natalia winking in your direction when you meet her eyes. Walking towards them, you put a hand above Claudia's head and start to make a sound with your mouth, walking slowly while you keep your hand up and pass their heads. You decide to stop between Kika and Vicky, the sound you are making intensifying between these two until you leave your hand above Kika's head.

Kika pushes Vicky jokingly when this one mocks her, the Portuguese stepping towards the box.

"Don't worry, Cata. You are going to do it too, but another day." You point towards the goal, seeing a smirk from the Balear towards your direction with a thumbs up. "Can I call you Kikinha?" You ask her, your Basque accent showing up. Kika giggles but nods with her head. "How are you?"

"I'm good. And you?" Kika asks back, her smile never fading.

"I'm good, thanks." You sit down on the ball and write something in the paper, looking up to see Kika looking down at you from where she is standing. "How many times do you smile when you say you are good, but in reality you aren't feeling good?" With that, Kika changes her gesture, the smile going out slowly. She clears her throat and shrugs, but never removes her eyes from you. "And when your injury removed you from the pitch out of the season and made you lose the Euros?"

It's there when Kika moves on the spot uncomfortable, hands behind her back and eyes looking behind you. "Many times." She says after a few minutes, the voice sounds small and hurt.

"Do you think you deserve that injury?" Ask that make you feel a little uncomfortable, but you promised yourself to give her a big hug and an apology. Kika shakes her head, tilting her head when she looks at you again. "I think you deserve it." Kika's eyes look at you very hurt, even if you aren't looking at the rest of the team, you feel how they are holding their breath and the death glares you are receiving from some of them. "It makes you stronger, a reason to come back and show us what you are capable of doing. To win with them the Champions League while you are playing and not watching from the stands, to be grateful to them for being there in your lowest moments, for the anecdotes created and for many other reasons. I know there are many tears for that injury, it's the worst for a player. I wish you didn't go through it, but embrace that experience and learn. You can do that and many more, Kika. I'm sure you are going to win everything you propose, you would go to the Euros, win the Champions League, go to the World Cup, win the league —again— and be the top scorer. I know you would do it. But embrace that scar, forgive it and move on. You are a player that could handle that and more. Keep fighting."

Some tears slipped from her eyes, Kika took both hands to her cheeks and wiped them. You stand up and walk towards her, giving a hug to reassure her that it's okay. You whisper an apology, Kika smiles again and shakes her head dismissing it, hugging you back.

"You know what to do?" You ask her when you are separated, pointing to the ball.

Kika nods and after taking a breath, you whistle when you see she is ready and Kika hides the ball inside of the goal, letting out a scream for that. You laugh quietly when she jumps on your back, throwing her fist in the air looking at their teammates.

"There are two left... And I'm selfishly right now and I'm going to call Ingrid." You let them know when Kika joins them, the Norwegian walks next to you with some surprise on her face. Mapi comments loudly to you to be careful, you give her a thumbs up while Ingrid gives a warning look. "Do you want to know what I said to Natalia about you?" Ingrid nods her head unsure, sharing a look with the coach and looking you back. "If you aren't going to count on her, do us a favour and transfer her." You know what those words sound out loud, the change in her facial expression is enough for you to clarify. "Because it would piss me off if this player didn't play what she deserves." You add, now seeing how Ingrid leaves out a nervous laugh, a soft blush on her cheeks. "It's true Ingrid, you are a good player and you are benched. You show us what you are capable of for a long time... Still, it amazes me that you remain here. I don't judge your reasons... but you deserve to be playing and not being bench, like other teammates you have."

Ingrid is speechless, not finding words to say out loud. She looks at her hands, it's been awhile —not counting her teammates or family— that someone reassures her potential.

"Personally I like it more when you play like a defender, what a discovery." You comment, not wasting time to let her know. "The team that has you, would gain an amazing and kind player, who cares about the people around her, make them feel be seen and don't let anyone alone. Want to try it?" You finished.

The tall brunette nods a few seconds later, recovering from the words you say. After she scores, she approaches you and kindly gives you a hug, squeezing your arm when she separated.

"And the last one... Who wants to be treated badly for me?" You ask loudly, making them laugh but no one makes a move. You wandered through them and walked straight towards Irene, the veteran player rolled her eyes but followed you. "I know you want to kick my ass."

Irene smirks, not denying your comment. You felt her gaze on you the entire time you shared with the young players.

"How angry you get at me when I tell those things?" You ask, tilting your head.

The defender snorts quietly, hands behind her back. "You resolved it very well, but I almost jumped up a few times." She honestly says, her answer makes you nod with your head and smile.

You don't wait for another reaction from her.

"How old were you when they didn't count anymore with Veronica Boquete?" You ask carefully, witnessing the surprise approaching on her face. The tall defender doesn't seem uncomfortable, maybe because the last thing she waited for was for you to ask that. "You can't answer me if you think it's personal." You let her know, reminding that it's not obligatory.

Irene swallows, looking at some of her teammates and shaking her head, she tells you that it's okay.

"It happened in 2017... I was 26 years old." Irene thinks loudly.

You make a pause, thinking what you would say next. You throw the paper alongside the pen to the pitch and step in front of her, you can see she finds some relief when you hide part of the sun hitting her figure.

"It surprised me that you live every scandal that happens in the national team... And it makes me realise that you have always been taking care of the youngest players." When you start, you try your best to be careful with your tone of voice, after all it's a hard and delicate topic. "You were that young but neither was that old... But you stay and people like Alexia —sorry!—" you interrupt yourself to bring Alexia's name again, the captain shakes her head softly, features relaxing when she meets your face. "like many other younger players, you don't want to leave them because you know what happened there. Then, —I'm not going to name him— once again it's happening, different things but still it is a strong situation that makes you stay to fight for, but mainly to protect the younger players. Because you know you couldn't live with you if you stop going to the national team and leave them around bad people. So when everything explodes, before the World Cup, you decide to receive every hit coming your way and letting them call you a niñata and many more bad words for speak up and ask for your right. You risked not going to the —possible— your last World Cup."

The tall defender shifted her posture, her jaw is clenched when you finished speaking. You guess she is someone who hides very well her feelings, but one looks to her eyes and you notice the pain on them.

"What happens if..." You take a look to see a young player to name. "Jana for example, experienced everything you lived with her age? She is younger than you when the first scandal happened. Imagine that there is no one who cares, then someone like Vero comes and they stop convocating her because she raised her voice. Jana is alone. What is the first thing that came to your mind?"

You see how Irene turns her hands into a fist, now both arms falling to her sides. She takes a long look behind her, you didn't look but assume she is looking at Jana.

Then, Irene turns to look at you slowly. "Then, they ruined someone innocent and kind." Her voice is lower, but everyone there could hear her clearly.

You leave the silence envelope for a few minutes.

"I'm glad they have you, Irene. Someone who cares about them, no matter the age they are, you would always check on them. They have you. But... Who cares about you? Who looks for you like you do with them?"

Your last two questions make her remain quiet, her breath stuck on her throat and she gives a weak shrug. She knows that she has people who look for her, but right now she feels lost.

"I do." Alexia breaks the silence, voice firm.

You smile. It's what you are waiting for. You wanted Irene to hear it from the people she trusts.

"Me too." Aitana and Mapi say at the same time.

It is followed by the rest of them.

Irene smiles weakly, an appreciative one.

"Jana, can you come here please?" The young player walks towards you, not without giving Irene a short hug, who chuckles quietly and rubs her head affectionately. You guide Jana in front of Irene and put both hands on her shoulders, your head showing behind her. "Imagine she is your young version. What would you tell yourself?" After saying that, you remove yourself from there and give them some space.

"A shorty version!" Claudia interjects, making them laugh, gaining herself a mock reply from Jana.

After a moment, Irene takes a breath and closes her eyes. Opening them, Irene cleared her throat and started to speak. "I'm not good at this, but I'll try." She pauses. "I want to tell you that the journey is beautiful, but also hard. You would love everything that happens in your career, every person you will meet, every friend that until today they are supporting you... You are strong, but it didn't mean that it wouldn't hurt you. Sometimes you will wish to change things, things that you innocently would fight for and they wouldn't listen to you. But then, you wouldn't look so crazy when someone else joined you. They will help you, just like you will help them. Win didn't mean you will be unharmed. Still, me and you know that we wouldn't change our journey and live all of this over again if it means changes. Changes for your teammates, for the ones who would come in the future, for the one who is watching us and be a referent because now, they have a female football player to watch and be like us... I'm proud of you."

You blink a few times and start to clap, the others following you and joining on the hug when Jana throws to Irene's arms.

"I thought you would teach them how to take penalties." Natalia came to your side, laughing quietly next to you. You shake your head, smiling for her teasing comment. She is aware of what would happen here, you comment in a reunion with her and she agrees. You didn't know why. "Okay! You all can leave now, see you tomorrow!"

•••

The first match of the Champions League was in the city's rival, the atmosphere was charged with new energy and hopes.

After what happened with the penalties session, the players brought it to comment on what happened there. They all agree on something, you are someone very different from all the coaches they had. Aitana listened to them in silence in the changing room, the loud voices giving their opinion on you. She listens to Kika say happily that she likes you, some of them agreeing with the Portuguese. Alexia was like her, changing her training clothes and listening to them quietly. Aitana could have a few different opinions, but she agrees that your words have a meaning, and maybe the method is what she didn't like too much, but the result? It's amazing. She saw herself hiding behind her teammates every moment you chose someone to... Heal? She didn't know how to classify that session, but somehow listened to how you cared, it's impressive.

After that, they didn't have another exercise where you led them. They focused on the opposing team, studying the pages you put effort making them. The players seem very interested in sharing the tips you gave, the comment below to the name's player, some tactics that would work with a possible connection. However, during the training you approached Frido and remained by her side, sometimes they found out you were keeping training after Natalia put an end.

They won the match by seven goals, and even mathematically they are going to pass, they didn't take for granted and keep their minds that everything could happen and they are going to do all the possible to win on the second leg.

Ingrid seems very excited to go training, the start of this preseason feels very different and welcoming. She played the last game the whole second half and felt very happy for how she played. The day of recovery after that match, you approached the group in the meeting room when you gave them the new pages to study. Natalia clapped her hands to call their attention and ask to have their attention on you, who wanted to explain something.

"I have been thinking about doing this and after commenting on it with Natalia, I would like to communicate with you mostly because if you all agree, I need to prepare it with time." You start, walking to the desk. You throw the pen there and walk to be in the middle. "Since this weekend we are free of playing matches, I thought to do a gincana. Would you like it?"

There is an immediate reply, they all cheered and yelled an affirmative. Well, all of them no. Alexia seems content by it but it's not buzzing like the major part of the team, Aitana for once her loudness is quiet but the idea sounds good to her and then, Caro seems chill about it like Ewa and Esmee.

"There would be a reward at the end. I will explain everything there, okay?" You inform them, when they hear the reward word, the room becomes wild.

Irene seems very happy to do the obstacle course when the day arrives. She makes a bet with Patri and Mapi on who will win from all of them. Alexia seems excited too, her competitive side showing on the bus ride to the place.

The morning went like total chaos, but it was filled with laughs. The moment they do the teams, the staff members leave it to you and Natalia. So you decided to write their names and chose the one you read out loud. The competitiveness is getting high with every new obstacle, when some of them win they show it on their faces.

When it is over, you call for their attention. "I asked them to hide letters around this place. So in pairs, we will search for them. Hear me out, please! You only need to pick a letter, then you come here and wait for the rest. Don't worry, you all have a letter. The red ones are for us! I need a difference between the players and the staff team." You explain. "Before you start to choose, I'll do it first! I'm going with Aitana." You give a lipped smile to the Catalan midfielder. You barely have contact today with her, since the brunette was on the opposite team.

"I wanted to be paired with you!" Patri whined, making you blush but laughed a little at her reaction.

Once they are all paired, you parted ways from them. The silence wrapping around you and Aitana, who walk next to you but leave a distance. You can hear some of them who are close, their chat and laugh floating around.

"That bad I am?" You joke, when there aren't more sounds than the birds chirping around you and your steps the branches under your feet. Aitana seems taken aback by your question, letting out a nervous chuckle seconds later. "I'm kidding, but I noticed that you aren't that content with my job since the first day when I put you alone to defend... Sorry about that, I just want to study some movements with the defensive line." You explain while you keep walking, stepping up to start a steep way.

Aitana nods to herself because she realises you can't see her. Jana and Ingrid explained it to her when she let out her frustration when the exercise was over, still she felt some remorse towards you the next few days after that happened.

"It's okay, you have your reasons..." Aitana muttered behind you, looking carefully at the steep. "I'm sorry too." She didn't give an explanation of why she feels sorry, simply Aitana wanted to do it for her behaviour that day. And because she has been avoiding you since then, looking at you in the shadows and having her own judgement watching you those days.

You stop briefly to look at her and give a small smile, keeping walking when Aitana awkwardly reciprocates that gesture. The brunette could feel how her phone was buzzing on her shorts pocket, probably some of them found the letter and are letting them know or maybe they are wanting to be annoying, both options work for the midfielder.

Then, when once again they are walking in silence, their little peace seems interrupted by Kika's squeal. It makes the pair look at each other and before they choose what to do, Kika and Esmee approach at the end of the steep laughing at something they only know.

"Well, well, well... The grandmothers are joining us." Kika teases them, still she extends a hand in your way to help you. Her laugh floats around you when Aitana tells her to not call her like that with a deep frown. "That's all the help you are going to obtain from us, see you down losers." Then, she winks at your way and locks her arm with Esmee's and walks out of your sight.

Aitana muttered something under her breath and put a hand in your lower back momentarily while telling you to keep going, now taking the lead.

They are looking everywhere in search of the letters, a distinct colour from the green and brown from that place. A small scowl installed in Aitana's face when time passed and they didn't see anything, she is sure that they would be the last ones to obtain a letter, if magically there is at least one at the top of this area. Sighing, Aitana feels small taps on her arm and when she turns to look at you, you are pointing with a finger to the big trunk in front of you, looking carefully Aitana could see a yellow tone in one of some cracks it has. Her features softened and shared a glare with you accompanied by a grin, stepping towards the big tree and picking it up, putting the piece of paper in your hands.

To Aitana's surprise, the moment they stepped down to join the people who found the letter, there were half of the team there, there other half are missing and scattered over there to find the letter. She finds herself waiting for them not far away from you, after all you are her partner for this exercise. While you are talking enthusiastically with Claudia and Ona, Aitana sees how Alexia comes with an annoying face with Patri behind her, Natalia and Irene sharing a laugh between them. Aitana guesses that Alexia didn't like this activity so much.

Soon the rest of the team came and you walked up, Natalia following you with the rest of the staff team.

"Please, give me the red letters and I'll give the yellow ones for you." You ask, sharing the red ones with her fellow team when they handed them to her. "Okay, first of all no one knows what it is. So if you need to blame someone, it's me." You say, seeing some faces not agreeing with what you are implying. "You are the first Natalia, open the letter."

Natalia carefully opened the letter and brought out what it was hiding, her curiosity going out the moment she read it. "Absolutely no!" She comments looking at you, a small shadow of red on her cheeks. "I'm not going to do it." She states firmly, pointing a finger in your direction.

You giggle by her reaction, the whisper of the players getting loud and questioning their coach what it is.

"Dancing Queen by ABBA." Natalia read out loud, shaking her head to emphasise that she is not going to do that.

The group burst out laughing, some letting out some teasing comments and cheering for Natalia to do it.

"Can I open mine?" Kika asks like a child, face with hope to find out what it is inside. You nod and watch how Kika read out loud jumping on her spot very happy. "Black by Pearl Jam!"

Then, they proceeded to open their letters with your confirmation. There are different reactions to it, some not agreeing with the song and others with their open mouth for what they read, still they seem very glad when you comment that they can change the song of joining someone else to sing.

"I'm not going to sing." Alexia breaks the enthusiasm of her teammates, making some of them groan for her comment. Her hazel eyes come back to read what she has on her hands. "I'm not doing this." She says more firm this time, a soft blush approaching on her cheeks but her gaze is letting you know that she is not going to do it.

Some boo are heard after, Alexia didn't seem bothered by that.

"Everyone is going to sing. I'm singing too, Alexia. And believe me when I tell you that I'm drowning only thinking about it." You speak up, interrupting the small reactions.

Alexia shakes her head. "I'm not going to sing." She repeats.

You stay looking at her, an idea forming in your head. "If you don't laugh any time that day when we sing, you include, I let you choose the exercise and without complaining we all will do it." You suggest, hiding your smile when you see how Alexia is thinking about your words longer than you think.

"Deal." Alexia muttered, extending her hand towards you to seal the deal.

Smiling, you stretch her hand.

You come back next to Natalia to convince her to sing, telling that you would sing together.

Alexia looks dreadful about what she needs to sing, Nero Gotico by Clara.

She didn't even know how this person was.

•••

Letting out the hundredth sigh that day, Alexia sits down on the chair in the backyard where the improvised scenario is in front of her. They all are wearing casual clothes, a different change of what usually they wear on their daily day. They haven't seen any trace of you since they came to Natalia's house, who offered to host the small karaoke.

"You look beautiful tonight, capi." Ona approaches in front of the Catalan midfielder, a knowing smirk on her lips.

Alexia rolls her eyes, ignoring the small laugh around her from some of them. Patri shows behind the full back player, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Ready?" Patri asks, sitting a row up from her.

"Yes." Alexia says shortly.

Fortunately for her, she could change the song with Giulia since the song is in Italian. Truth be told, Alexia blushed a lot when she put the videoclip on YouTube and saw the singer.

Aitana walks towards them with a drink on her hand, sipping from it the moment she sits down next to Mapi. She didn't know why she was here and why she would sing, but something inside her wanted to know what would happen tonight. Ignoring the conversation that the defender is having with Marta, who gladly came to cheer for her chill girlfriend, and her eyes wandered around until she saw you walking in with Natalia and Hector by your side, her hand stayed in mid air holding the glass while she fixed her eyes on you.

Blinking, Aitana heard how some of them start to whistle when they see you. Claudia makes a comment about she being single, only for you to shake your head smiling after hugging her. They are seeing you with different clothes and it's making Aitana very difficult to pay attention to.

You greet all of them when you approach the small stage, you start to explain that you and Natalia would start the show and then, since it's her idea you would mark the order.

They have an idea of why you two aren't singers, still Aitana feels looking at you with tenderness. To her eyes, you look cute with your red cheeks and when you misspell some words. Some of them are standing up and dancing together, cheering and loudly joining the song.

Alexia is trying hard to not show a smile with the show you two are making. Kika, Jana, Vicky, Salma and Bruna are dancing in the empty space in the backyard, some of them are recording.

Once it is over, you bend down briefly and side hug Natalia, thanking them while chanting your names. You call Ona to go to the stage, the Catalan accepts the microphone you tend at her.

The evening went smoothly, the majority of them were giving everything in every song, a chorus that no one asked but they accompanied the ones who are on the stage. Ingrid and Mapi are the last ones, the Aragonese with sunglasses pretending to be a real singer, making a dance that Ingrid joined in some parts shyly.

Then, they cover the empty space with a large table and sit down to have dinner. Alexia is more relaxed, the deal she made with you broke the moment Claudia sang a Spice Girl's song, including a choreography that made Alexia fail to not laugh. Patri records her reaction to have proof and show you, internally sighing relief because they would be free from the exercise Alexia would put on them.

They see a new version of you tonight, a goofy and calmer side. The days that you share with them make you open and relax around them, joining the teasing with Cata and Claudia or answering some uncomfortable questions that Mapi and some more are doing and being stopped by Alexia and Natalia.

"Why did you make this?" Alexia asked you once the party started, sitting in the empty chair next to you.

You paint a tiny smirk, watching the improvised dance that some of them are doing.

"To have fun." You reply, shrugging casually.

Alexia stays looking at you suspiciously, studying you while you give a sip to your drink. "The real reason." She says in a tone of voice where she didn't believe you.

You remained quiet for a moment, then turned to look at her. "To spend a good time, to loosen up a bit and know you all a little more. For you all to know me a little too, in a different environment than football..." You say, trailing off.

She believes you this time, and your explanation makes her smile genuinely. You are trying to connect with them, even if it means to put yourself in ridiculous. She is aware of your introverted side, she is one of that type too and knows how hard it is with new people.

Alexia has more respect for you.

•••

A month passed.

They are classified to be back in the Champions League and they are started well in the league, winning their two games.

The training becomes hard, but at the end of the day they have different exercises coming from you. They all seem waiting for this moment.

However, what they didn't know is to see you angry. You seem very calm and difficult to be angry or mad. The moment it happened was when Natalia was giving the starting line for the next day in their third match of the league. You were standing next to the coach and your frown deepened when Natalia told the defensive line.

"Can we talk for a moment?" You interrupt her, a hand on her arm. You don't leave her to reply to you, just walking away from the group of players.

Natalia frowned too and excused herself, she walked towards your side.

The players shared a look between them, a confused one. Alexia and Aitana keep their attention on you, they try to read on your face what happened.

"Really? Aren't you going to put her? She shows that she deserves to be in the starting line." You start to say, tightening the hold in your notebook. You see how Natalia relaxed her frown, opening her mouth to talk but you don't leave her. "Jana deserves to be in the starting line, Natalia. She proves to you during training and the matches you put her coming from the bench! Just... Keep that in mind." You say without realising that you raised your voice enough for them to listen to what you said. "If you want to reprimand me, okay. I'll understand." It's the last thing you said before you stormed out from there.

Natalia watches you go out and disappear in the building. Taking a breath, the coach steps towards the group and clearing her throat, resuming the starting line for tomorrow.

When Natalia dissolved the group, Alexia turned to check on Jana. She didn't say anything, just moved an eyebrow asking if she was okay. The defender nods, walking by her side to the changing room. Jana's mind replays the moment where you defended her to be starting for tomorrow's game and a small smile approaches on her face. Ingrid walks to her side and hangs an arm around her shoulders, a calm smile in her direction. Maybe it's a coincidence, but since you came they both feel very sure of themselves, with more conviction.

So before she leaves, Jana walks towards the head coach office and Natalia communicates with her before she asks that you are in the cafeteria. Nodding and saying goodbye, Jana walks towards the place and holds the strap of her gym bag, she steps inside when she sees you.

You leave the pen on top of the table, next to your —almost finished— notebook. Jana pulls off her gym bag and takes a seat next to you, giving you a lipped shy smile.

"Sorry..." You apologised, sighing.

Jana frowns, not letting you finish. "Why? You don't need to apologise." She cuts you, her smile widening. "Maybe it's not the place to say it. Still, I want to say thank you..." She says shyly, playing with her fingers on the top of the table. Her gaze didn't leave your surprise expression. "It motivates me to keep working hard because at the end of the day, there is someone who believes in me and could give me the chance to show what I'm capable of."

You soften your features, and remove a strand of your hair away from your face before you speak. "There are people who believe in you, Jana. Like many other of your teammates. The only thing I can tell you is to keep working hard and fight to gain a spot in the starting line." You say firmly, trying not to give her many hopes because after all, it doesn't depend on you. But letting her know that she has many possibilities of entering if she keeps playing like that.

The brunette nods with her head enthusiastically, surprising you when she throws her arms and wraps them on your neck, giving you a friendly hug. You hug her back awkwardly.

"I think I need to apologise with the coach..." You whisper when you see Natalia walk to the bar after she gives a knowing look.

Jana separated and nudged your side playfully, wishing you luck with a smirk when she stood up and walked away.

•••

Aitana passes her tongue for her teeth while her eyes are on you. You are saving the training things into the room where it belongs, Hector and Victor —the other two staff members— helping you save them inside. The Catalan midfielder starts to walk with Ona to the changing room, but her mind is in you. She didn't know why but felt the urge to turn and walk towards you. However, Aitana shakes her head briefly and paints a smile to whatever Ona is telling her.

Once inside of the changing room, Aitana's movements become slower and without any rush, taking her time until there are only a few of them. She hides a strand of her wet hair behind her ear and stands up, putting on Barcelona's training jersey because outside is doing a cold breeze at this hour. She says goodbye to the ones who remained there and takes a different route when she goes out, her steps taking her to the coach's office.

Before Aitana could retreat herself and turn around, the door opened and you came out, stopping in the entry when you saw her.

"Aitana! Do you want to talk with Natalia? She is still inside...-" you start to say, removing yourself from the entry.

The midfielder shakes her head immediately, muttering that she didn't want to see Natalia. It makes you a little confused, not knowing what Aitana actually wants.

Clearing her throat, Aitana decides to be brave. "I came to talk to you..." She mutters, scratching the back of her neck nervously.

You open your eyes, not waiting to hear that.

"Everything okay?" You ask carefully, stepping a few centimetres towards her.

Aitana nods quickly, wanting the small frown on your face to disappear. "Everything okay, don't worry. I just came to... ask you if you want to hang out sometime...?" Her voice showed her nervousness, mentally cursed herself and wished to have the boldness of some of her teammates.

You opened your eyes briefly, lowering them to the floor processing what Aitana asked you. When you look at her back, she is biting her lip waiting for an answer, her brown eyes move around avoiding you.

It's weird for you to see this side of hers, someone who always sees confidence in herself.

"With the team...?" You ask unsure, putting your bag on one shoulder and closing the door behind you.

"No, with me." Aitana explained. "I would like to know you a little more outside of here..."

In your face showed a small smile, seeing the red welcoming on Aitana's cheeks. "Okay. When?" You say softly, her brown eyes opening.

Once again Aitana clears her throat, recovering from the surprise of your confirmation. "If you want I can invite you now and go to a cafeteria."

Shrugging, you nod. "And I thought you didn't like me..." You comment, starting to walk by her side.

Aitana blushes but frowns.

•••

Taking a breath, you close your eyes while you hold the paper in your hands. Opening them, you see their faces looking at you with a small teasing expression.

You look at Natalia, who rolled her eyes and made a move with head for you to start.

"Okay. First of all, I'm sorry. If it is for me, I would put you all...-" You hear how Natalia snorts by your side, interrupting you.

"Do you girls feel it's her first starting line, do you?" Natalia asks loudly, only for them to share a small laugh.

You roll your eyes, but look at your paper and read the names in your mind.

"Alright! Formation the same, 4-3-3 contention. The players who are going to start tomorrow are: Cata, Ona, Jana, Ingrid and Esmee in the defensive line, midfielders: Alexia, Dragoni and pivot Patri. The three lined up are: Graham, Kika and Frido." You read the names, raising your eyes once you are finished.

They are silent, some are speaking with their eyes between them but soon smiles are approaching on their faces. You look at Aitana, who is biting her lip and lightly nod with her head.

You know how competitive they are, especially Aitana and Alexia. You are afraid of the brunette because you left her out of the starting line.

You would lead them to the next game because Natalia received a red card in the last match, making you assume the bench in the next one. And literally. She asks you to choose the starting line, reassuring you when you give her a panic expression.

So you made it, you barely slept last night studying who to put in this match. You take care of the details, leaving some of them to rest and play in the second half, knowing that three days later there is the first match of the Champions League.

The next day Natalia gives you a calm speech, reassuring you that everything is going to be okay. Before the game starts, you explain the strategy again and nervously but firmly, you give them encouraging words and stay in the entry when they come out, giving a pat on their backs.

There was no goal in the first half, but probably it is the best game they played in a long time. The style Natalia has implemented since she came, shows up entirely in these 45th minutes.

You applauded and screams encouragement words when Jana was alone and stopped the rival forward in a clean entry when she threw down, sending the ball to Patri. With Frido you didn't know how she still didn't score, the Swedish is destabilising the opponent easily, the only fail she had is not to send the ball into the goal. The rest of the team showed them how much they cared about the ball, the connection on their passes creating magnificent plays.

But the goal comes at the start of the second half, Giulia Dragoni sending the ball inside in a beautiful head goal when Graham puts the ball from the corner.

When you approach Aitana and Vicky from giving them instructions, you see how the ball came out and fall to your box and when you are going to grab it to give to the player from the other team to put on in game, the rival pushes you hard and makes you fall, your head hitting the cool-box.

What you miss is when Aitana runs and pushes the opponent, a scowl on her face while challenging her to do it again. Or when the major part of the players came to her and started to yell at the opponent, Jana, Kika and Ingrid were the loudest. Alexia is the only one who tries to calm them, even if her jaw is clenched and wanted to push her too, she acts like the captain she is and pushes her teammates away.

Irene helps you to stand up, the medical team coming to your rescue and asking you to sit down because you have a small cut in your eyebrow.

When you stand up with their help, you see how the referee shows a yellow card to Aitana after showing it to the other player, the Catalan nods with her head without caring too much, her head turns in your direction and her features soften. You muttered to them you need to give the last indications to the players who could go out and after they press a small bandage for you to hold, you walk towards Aitana and Vicky.

Aitana puts a hand in your lower back briefly, nodding with her head what you are indicating to do and telling their teammates new strategies. You remained there until Esmee and Patri went in, both players asking you how you are. You mutter quickly I'm good and congratulate them for their performance, both players sharing a look and a nod in your direction, soft smiles on their faces. They shake hands with the rest sitting there and take a seat, you walk to the corner and raise your head to Natalia to hear what she is telling you from the stands.

Your eyes focus on the pitch when you approach the medical team again, seeing the new change in formation. Now Frido is playing like the left back, letting the position she was playing to Alexia and there isn't a pivot anymore, choosing to put Vicky like a central attacking midfielder, Aitana and Dragoni like midfielders.

With the cut clean and hiding in a new bandage, you stood up with your arms crossed watching the game develop, shouting things at them to fix small mistakes. You see how Frido steals the ball from the opponents' feet near the corner of her own side, in a brilliant auto pass the Swedish player ran with the ball the whole band, passing it to Alexia. The Catalan raised her head enough to give an intelligent pass through the defenders when she sees Aitana run out of her mark, the brunette shoots the ball in the first touch and sends the ball inside of the goal.

Raising your hands up, you call for Salma, Mapi and Bruna. You decided to make your last three changes now, a perfect time to let them play and the other to have some rest. Giving the three players indications, the three players go out when the referee indicates after a play where the ball runs to the sideline. Alexia, Graham and Ona came in, stretching your hand briefly. You see how Alexia has a neutral expression, you know that she wanted to keep playing because they are in the perfect moment to score more, but hopefully you wish she sees what you did for her own good in the future.

When the match is over, you read on the screen of the stadium how Barcelona won the match with three goals and any in con.

You leave out a relief sigh that you didn't know you were holding.

•••

"Are you mad at me?" You questioned in a small voice, watching how the stadium is getting empty slowly.

Aitana turns with the bottle in her hand, hiding a smirk. She takes a long sip, shaking the hand of a player when she approaches, you do it too.

"Why? For you to care about us?" She asks rhetorically, giving another sip from her bottle. Now she leaves a small laugh for your face. "You have your reasons for choosing that starting line, you don't need to give me any explanation." Aitana says softly, stepping closer to you. "It worked." She whispered.

You shrug, feeling a little better. "What a goal." You say, tilting your head with a soft smile. You don't need to explain too much, it's obvious what goal you are referring to.

"I pushed the ball, it's mainly Alexia's." She shrugs too, bumping her shoulder with yours copying your smile. "Better now it's over?" Her voice is gentle like the gaze she is giving you.

You chuckle, but nod with your head.

"Do you want to go have lunch together?" Aitana asks you, biting her lower lip. Her voice is a whisper, a bold impulse hoping you agree with her proposal.

You notice how close you are from her, the small freckles on the bridge of her nose like on her cheeks, small constellations from the corner of her mouth to her chin and near of her left ear. You decided to stop scanning her face, and slowly you nod with your head, seeing how her smile got wide.

"Wait for me?" When you nod with your head, she excused herself to take a quick shower and run inside, making you laugh quietly for her behaviour.

***

The next day feels awkward for you during training. Fortunately for you Natalia takes full charge of the exercises that day and you only remain behind and comment quietly to her or some of them, but not exchanging any word with any player.

You could feel her gaze, but you don't dare to look in her direction. You know she didn't have any fault, still she is the reason why you question many things.

Too deep in your mind when the training is over, you don't notice the people approaching you, only the light tap on your shoulder that makes you jump.

"Everything okay?" Ona asks, raising an eyebrow.

You nod, stammering you are good.

"We came to ask you if you want to come to bond night with us." Jana informs you, her usual smile showing up.

You frown confused. "Really? It's not only for players?" You ask unsure, pressuring your new notebook against your stomach.

They shared a laugh, explaining briefly that it is but sometimes there are exceptions if for example they have a young staff member in the team. You roll your eyes when they give you teasing stares.

You look behind their backs and see how Aitana is sneaking glances towards your way, moving her head to the side when your eyes collide.

"Okay." You agree, making them jump on you and ignoring your awkward hug.

Later that day, Alexia is who offered to pick you up. Her expression turned into a surprise one when she saw you, you asked if you looked bad while taking a look at yourself.

"You look great! It's weird seeing you like... This." Alexia explains quickly, a small blush on her cheeks for her reaction.

You smirk and pinch her red cheek, laughing when Alexia pushes your hand away and muttered under her breath that you spend too much time with the youngest of the team. The ride to Ona's flat is with small conversations with the radio in the background, you can feel how her gaze is softer every time she looks at you and you ask yourself if she notices the reason behind.

Once in Ona's flat, there are a few of them already there. The defender greets you happily and makes a comment about your outfit, eyes going up and down only for you to smack her hand on her arm playfully. It didn't end there because the ones there whistle when they see you, Salma taking your hand with hers and making you swirl in the spot.

Alexia came to your rescue and pushed Patri away, making you sit down next to her at the exact moment Aitana got inside of the living room. Like a magnet, her brown eyes find yours while she keeps talking to someone else. Kika puts herself in front of you and breaks the eye contact with the midfielder.

"Do you want to go on a date with me?" The Portuguese ask in a charming tone, sitting next to you.

Alexia scolds her gently while Jana shares a laugh with Claudia, making fun of their friend. You blush but chuckle when the forward wraps an arm around your shoulders, pouting in Alexia's direction. Frido approached you and offered a snack, complimenting you with a wink when she walked to another part.

"When are we gonna take penalties again?" Kika asks, pinching your cheek softly.

Some of them agree with her, very interested in your answer.

"Do you want to do it again?" You tease her, chuckling.

"No, but I want to watch these ones cry." She teases back playfully, giving them a look.

They give her a sarcastic smile, Jana pushes her softly and Kika dramatically leaves her body falling into you. Friendly, you wrap an arm around her shoulders and laugh when she pretends to be enchanted by it.

Then, your eyes meet Aitana's again and slowly you remove your arm from Kika's shoulders. It's interrupted again when Mapi leaves a squeal and puts herself in front of you, whistling suggestive while her eyes scan you.

The rest of the evening is plagued with laughter and games board. You are paired with Jana when this one grabs your arm and pulls you towards her, smiling innocently to your way. You are surprised to see Alexia discuss with some because she thinks they cheat and that's the reason Alexia and Irene lost, frowning she threatened them to play one last time with the new change of game. Patri tries to be a barista and make them drinks, pushing Jana away and sitting in her place giving you a drink, smiling charmingly.

"You don't need to be so nice to me, Patri. You are my favourite player already, I thought I made it clear in training." You say, holding your laugh.

Snorts mixed with protests were heard behind Patri, the midfielder gives them a satisfying smirk while learning her back on the couch, arm spreading out behind you.

At some point when you are out on the balcony with Ingrid and Esmee, Alexia calls you and takes you to an empty area.

"What happened with Aitana?"

Her direct question makes you nervous, advertising your gaze from her. You heard how she sighed, putting a hand in your arm carefully.

"I noticed that there is tension between you two. Not to mention that you acted weird today during training. Something happened?" Alexia explains briefly.

You think if you tell her or no. Letting out a sigh, you move your face to look at her.

"I don't know what happened... It's complicated." You start to say, playing with your fingers. "I think I like her... And it is freaking me out a little. Because I came here to work, in my plans there is nothing other than to help the team, so it's weird." You open up, rubbing your forehead. "We hang out a few times out of the pitch, like friends... But something tells me that what we have is something else."

There is silence, but Alexia started to rub your back gently.

"Sometimes the plan you made didn't turn out like you wanted." Alexia says softly. She didn't say anything more, because she didn't want to overstep.

***

The next day in the changing room, when she entered there Alexia walked directly towards Aitana and took a seat next to her, making the brunette look with expectation at her.

"You seem different this season..." Alexia comments casually, pulling off the training kit and wiping the sweat of her face with it.

Aitana raised an eyebrow, snorting. "And what makes you think like that?"

Alexia smiles knowingly. "You are calmer. Don't look at me like that, you are one of the loudest people of this team." After you communicate to Alexia what happened with her teammate, she stays thinking about Aitana's behaviour and to her mind comes small details.

The midfielder scoffs, standing up. "Maybe I'm matured, you're welcome." She says sarcastically, picking up her things.

Alexia rolled her eyes and grabbed her wrist to stop her. She knows her very well to know that if Aitana didn't deny it, it's because she is right.

"Give her time. She is confused." Alexia lowered her voice.

Aitana looks at her frowning, swallowing hard and she sits down again. Her gaze gets lost on the floor, wondering how Alexia found out.

"I noticed that something happened with you two yesterday and when I asked her last night, she confessed to me that she likes you," Alexia admitted, seeing how Aitana turns her head quickly towards her the moment she confesses that you like her. "Don't tell her anything or I'll kill you." She threatened Aitana. "She is confused, that's all." Saying that, Alexia patted her back gently and walked away.

The days pass and they keep winning, and Aitana gives all the time you need. She didn't approach you, just muttering a greeting to your way and a nod when you instructed her in some drills and exercises. Her gaze remained on you in the distance when you are distracted, in her mind having some answers that maybe she didn't have before.

But today Aitana feels the necessity of being close to you. Looking at you save the things, Aitana tells Patri that she is staying to help you, picking up a bag with balls in a hand and in the other the cones. She walks inside of the room and sees the surprise in your face.

"I want to help you." Aitana rasped out, giving you a tiny smile.

You point out the place where it belongs, scribbling something in the paper in your hand. Aitana leaves the things there and comes out to pick the sticks. Once again you point out the place and Aitana leaves the sticks there, slowly stepping near you while seeing how you sign below.

Raising your head, you feel how close to her you are. The movement of your head makes her copy you, your eyes betray you and look at her parted lips. Your eyes move back to her eyes and something pulls you towards her and leans to press your lips on her.

You separated quickly, opening your mouth to apologise and storm away from there. However, Aitana reacted in time and grabbed your wrist in a soft hold. She cups your cheek with her other hand, leaning slowly towards you and delicately puts her lips on you again. It's a soft pressure against your lips, not rushed, trying to show you how much she wanted this, how much she wants you.

Aitana breaks the kiss but remains close, leaning her forehead on yours. Her thumb started to caress your cheek, she can feel the band hanging on her neck because you started to play with it the moment you encircled your arms on her neck. Her chest is going up and down in a nervous but pleasant way, her eyes fixed on yours when you opened them and an involuntary smile approaches on her face.

"Can I do it again?" Aitana asks in a whisper in your mouth, her other hand flies to your waist.

Retreating your arms from her neck, you put them about her chest and softly nod with your head, meeting her half way when she leaned. You can taste the salty on her lips for the sweat from training, but away from disgusting you, your grip her training kit with your hands and put her closer. Aitana gives some steps making your back hit with the shelves from behind, now both of her hands are gripping your hip firmly while a muffled sound escapes from her mouth where it gets lost on yours.

"I like you too..." Aitana whispers when the kiss is over, smiling widely when she sees your red cheeks and inevitably spreads kisses on them.

•••

"Who's waiting for this? I thought to finish this before the year it's over... So, good luck to the ones who were left in the second round..." You announced, making the ones who did it to share a chuckle. You walk in front of them a few times and try to cheat who you are choosing to start, until you stop and turn to look at her with an innocent smile. "Janaaa... I think I'm starting with you." The young Catalan makes a dramatic expression but follows you, her teammates giving her encouragement words.

December's cold makes you shiver a little and zip up the jacket, your hands are covered by gloves. Fortunately it's a sunny day, so you hopefully will be warm soon.

"I'm not going to say hurtful words to you because I'm afraid of half of the team chasing me after..." You comment making Jana laugh quietly, Natalia snort behind you. "Are you happy?"

Jana nods, a soft smile on her mouth while she keeps watching you.

"I'm glad to know that... I fear what would happen with the team if your happiness turns off..." You start, looking at them briefly before looking back at her. "Do you think that they missed you when you suffered your ACL?"

Your question makes her change her expression, turning into a serious one. "Hopefully..." She tries to light the mood.

"Who helped you the most?"

"Everyone helped me, but if I needed to say a name it would be Bruna and Alexia." Jana mutters, hiding her chin on her sweatshirt.

You nod with your head, deciding to not take too long with her.

"Look Jana, I'm going to be sincere with you." You walk to put yourself in front of her. "I think at this point you don't need to share anything with us because you already share it everyday. You brighten us with your energy, with your constant encouragement and I'm truly glad to meet you. All yours." You move and point to the ball, smiling when Jana side hugs you.

You point towards Patri when Jana scored, the Balear high five with the defender and put herself next to you.

"What would make the best player in the world nervous?" You ask with a hint of teasing, making the group for your confession protest. Patri leaves out a smirk, winking at you. "I have an idea." You start to pace out, playing with the ball between your hands. "Imagine we are in a match, losing it. It's a big stage, one where it didn't matter, you will remember forever. The match is almost over, but then, Ewa tied up and prolongs to extra time. Your team is as tired as you, but this is a hint of hope for you to reach the trophy. It's not your best performance but the coach still believes in you. The extra time is over and it's sent to penalties. It's your turn and you can make a difference here, you are in or out." You specified, watching how Patri nods while hearing you. Clearing your throat, you opted to change your voice and pretend that you are a sport commentator. "And now it's the turn of Patri Guijarro! The best in her position at this moment, the intelligence playing against the physical. Right now she has the power on her feet, if she scored there would be a hope to brush that trophy but if she misses, the team is out. There is no pressure when you have this player, you always count on her! Who is Alexia Putellas? Who is Aitana Bonmatí? I don't know them, I only know the best pivot. I said her name before and I will say it again. Patri Guijarro is getting ready to take the shot of her life!" You are moving around making emphasis with your hands, truly living the moment. You make a gesture for them to create cheering sounds, pretending they are the public. Then, you move your hands to make them stop and the silence installed.

"Take it." You say, moving aside.

You see her doubt, her usual confident demeanor disappearing with every second. She nods, taking a run before her foot connects with the ball and makes it go out. Patri grimace, looking away briefly.

Tilting your head, you approach her. Patri leaves out a sigh, rubbing her face with a hand. "What happened?" You ask in a soft voice.

The Balear shrug, shaking her head. "I don't know... Pressure?" She tries to guess, shrugging again.

"Try again." You say, the warmth of the sun hitting your cold cheeks.

Her eyebrows approach each other, confused. You can see how she is thinking hard, slowly some realisation shows her confused features.

"Is it pressure?" You try to confirm what she said before. Patri moves a hand to the level of her waist, indicating that it is more or less like that. "What else?"

"Comparison." She said in a low voice, crossing her arms on her chest. Her jaw clenched lightly, her gaze on you.

You nod with your head in a thinking manner. "To who?"

There is silence for a few seconds. Patri shifts her posture, eyes lowering briefly before she speaks up; "Aitana and Alexia." She slowly says, looking at you back.

Stepping towards her, you nod again. "It affects you or you don't think too much about it?"

Patri shrugged. "Sometimes... But it's something that I don't mind too much." She admitted.

"Until you think about it properly..." You add carefully. You see how her shoulders got down, hands intertwining behind her back and you are sure she is pocking her skin. "It's okay, Patri. I'm not judging you and I never would do that. I think it's even normal that you feel a little... out of place with them. But I want to remind you that they wouldn't win anything without you, keep that in mind. You are their compass, to them and the rest of the team. Maybe they are the ones who people see more, but people who truly watch, they know about you. Actually, I can't stop hearing how smart and creative you are, one of these people is Alexia. I know you know, but sometimes this one," you tap your forehead. "can be cruel and cheat you. I'm not ashamed to admit loudly that you are one of my favourite players and I have the opportunity to watch you in every training and match. You maybe don't have a Ballon d'or, but you definitely would have one. Vicky Losada said it first, not me!" You finished, making her laugh quietly for your last comment. You see how her usual demeanor is coming back, the serious expression going away and her mischievous one showing up.

With an impressive goal, Patri side hugs you and joins the group.

"Mapiiiii...." You hummed, smirking teasingly to the Aragonese.

The group leaves out a laugh, Mapi walks towards you with the same mischievous personality. She sang your name too, giving you an innocent look.

"What would I mention to make you crack?" You think loudly, watching her smirk in your direction. "What about the national team?" Your voice is teasing, but your gaze softens.

Mapi rolls her eyes, tilting her head aside while her eyes fix on you. "Mismamente." She mutters, her smirk washes out.

The last time you mentioned the national team was for Irene and Caro, you know the topic you are going to touch now is delicate, so you repeat to the defender that it's okay if she didn't want to talk about it.

"I'll be short, promise." You promised when Mapi told you it's okay to talk about it. "Do you think there is a real change inside of the federation?"

"No." Mapi answers you quickly, snorting at the end. "And before you ask why, the changes they made are smaller and maybe it's a step, but for me it's not enough to come back." Her voice sounded firm when she finished, determination on her face.

"You are right." You muttered, you can feel the tension in the air. It didn't surprise you, many of them are in the Spanish national team and they are better than you to know what is happening. "And I am proud of you for keeping fighting for what you believe. You are firm in your position and thank you. Still, it didn't mean that I'm not supporting your teammates because there have many reasons and it is respectable. Come back when you are comfortable and we will enjoy you when it happens, for now: we will enjoy you here."

Mapi gives you a real smile, an appreciative one. She was waiting to hear another thing differently, but she truly appreciates your words.

She takes the penalty with a different sense, feeling lighter. Mapi high fives you when she scored, winking to Aitana when their gazes met.

Sighing, Aitana steps slowly next to you while hearing her teammates chant her name. You give her a sheepish smile, zipping off your jacket because you are feeling a little hot.

Chilling, Aitana crossed her arms. Her eyes become soft the moment they land on you, feeling less nervous. To her mind came the moment when she asked you what would you ask her when this moment would happen, but you just shrug and sat on her lap to kiss her.

"What do you want to talk about?" You ask, stepping next to her.

Aitana shrugs, following with her eyes. The truth is that she can talk about anything with you.

"What about the pressure?"

The brunette bit the inside of her cheek, her heartbeat accelerating. Well, maybe not about everything. Somehow, she didn't like it too much when you read people, because you usually get right.

"When was the last time you felt your chest without heaviness?" You ask directly, witnessing how her features hardened. "Are you afraid to leave people down?"

"That are two questions." Aitana points out in a small voice, the corner of her lips turning up a little. "Which one do I answer first?"

You shrug, muttering at her whatever she wanted to do.

"I'm not afraid to let them down, I'm learning that it's not my fault for the expectation they have on me." Aitana decides to answer your second question, the words her psychologist told her on past meetings coming to her mind. "And... It's hard not to feel pressured, especially if you belong to this team. I'm sure I am not the only one feeling it." Aitana muttered, answering honestly.

You nod, hiding your hands in your pockets. "What impact has on you when the press speaks about your performance or if you are on a good level to play?"

Aitana passes her tongue through her teeth with her mouth closed, the times she read about the lines or heard comments about herself showing on her mind like a trick. She hates how people referred to her like the winner of the Ballon d'Or and not like Aitana, yeah she understands but it didn't mean that she also liked it to hear every time.

"A considerable one." The brunette admitted lowly, pretending that she didn't care too much, when in reality it is the opposite. Aitana is good at taking any type of their opinions, but it is getting hard with the time passing. Somehow, she understands them. "But I try to focus on me and my team, to be better everyday and..." She pauses, thinking the right words. "keep learning. It's all I care about."

You pick up her right hand gently, hoping this gesture could calm her because even if she is hiding perfectly in a neutral expression, you can see how her brown dark eyes become vulnerable.

Aitana leaves out a sigh, not complaining to feel the warmth of your hand on hers. It's an innocent gesture, not showing to the rest what it truly means for you two.

"I can't tell you what to do to handle that pressure," you start to say. "but I can propose to you to think about what good things it brings you. Like how many people you inspire, mainly kids. How you are imbued with your name in football history, how you are breaking statistics and when you retire from this sport and someone named this club, they would remember you like someone who belongs here. I can keep naming things, but what I'm trying to say is you are human, Aitana. And you learn from the winning and when you don't, and keep promoting your law because people like you should be an inspiration, whatever they want to be when they grow up or even if they are an adult." You finished, a fond smile on your face.

The Catalan midfielder pulls from your hand and wraps her strong arms around your body, hiding her crystal eyes from the rest and the urge she feels to thank you with a kiss. She hides her face on your shoulder, trying to think in a good memory like you said to some of them. She was lucky to say that she has many of them, but the best ones are with the team no matter if the club or national teams, they mark her in different ways and the winnings are significant.

Separating from the hug, Aitana squeezed your arm affectionately before she took the penalty with the most lighter sensation she felt in a long time.

You turned to all of them when they gathered together, clapping your gloves hands together.

"The next time we practice penalties it's like you all practiced them. Hopefully this little session helped you in some way and before we close this chapter, I'm going to be the last one to cry." You make at them the peace sign, some chuckle by them were heard.

•••

Tears are streaming down on their faces, not believing what happened. There are a lot of reactions but one is the same, tears.

Natalia pats your shoulder when separated from the hug, grabbing your face between her hands and muttering that you all make it. She kissed your forehead and passed to hug the rest of the staff team before she went to speak with the rival head coach.

Wiping your own tears, you hug the friends you made on this team. Victor lifts you from the ground, making you chuckle by his happiness words while Hector and Vega join you. The moment your feet hit the green grass, you are surprised to feel someone else lifting you —again— from behind. Looking through your shoulder, you see Alexia with her cheek on your back.

"I needed to come here first." Alexia tells you the moment she puts you down, turning around and after giving you a bear hug. You hear the emotion in her shaky voice, you only could hug her back and appreciate her gesture. She chooses to come here first and you valour that a lot.

When her face shows in your vision, her eyes are red and both hands are now wiping her cheeks, but a radiant smile is on her red lips.

"Your weird method worked and I need to thank you for that, even if we are on the other side of the coin, thank you." Alexia said in a rush.

You can't reply when you feel more arms around you, making Alexia laugh freely and join the group hug. Somehow, you know who is hugging you from behind, you know all too well that grip on your waist and the level of her head on your back.

"They need you." The social staff member breaks the moment with a guilty smile, calling Alexia's attention.

The captain nods and kisses your forehead before she goes away, going to the pitch to see the rival's players and then, go to speak with the press people.

Jana and Ingrid are now in front of you, their stained cheeks with their wide smiles make you wrap your arms around their necks, telling how proud you are. Between them in the hug, you see how Patri approaches you and tap your nose, leaning on their teammates and joining the hug.

"We won." Someone muttered in the group hug, you believe is Claudia. She said it like it didn't happen before or she couldn't believe it actually happened. "Someone tied her up with us!" She yells, some laughter was heard for her dramatic comment.

Slowly, the group hug faded not without one by one, they hugged you and exchanged another display of affection. Aitana is the last one to hug you, she kisses your forehead fondly and whispers a thank you, giving you the strongest hug she gave you. When you are separated, she gives you a brilliant smile with a glint on her gaze.

"Go." You muttered, pushing her shoulder teasingly. Aitana pokes her tongue out but goes towards the pitch again, missing when someone puts you something on your shoulders, Jana coming once again to your vision when she puts herself in front of you to tie the flag about your neck. "Really?" You leave out a giggle, watching how Jana nods proudly.

"You need to show the world you belong here." The brunette commented, grabbing with a hand a part of the flag to show you the blaugrana colours. Her voice is scratchy from the match, her red cheeks becoming her usual shade.

"How possessive." You muttered, smirking.

Jana smirks back at you, throwing an arm on your shoulders and bringing you towards the pitch. "We need to take care of you, just like you made with us."

Kika came with a Portuguese flag in a hand, a wide smile on her tan face. She throws her arm on your free side, joining the soft banter with Jana against you. The Catalan defender leaves your sides when they require her presence to give an interview, her place being replaced by Ona.

"MVP?" The full back asks loudly, keeping an eye on her friend.

"I'm between her and Fridolina." You comment, to your coming some good plays from these players or from others ones too. "Also Kika made a great performance." You turn to look at the mentioned one, watching how Kika dismisses it with humble, muttering that she is with Ona on who should be the player of the match.

You three witnesses how they give the small trophy to Jana, winking in her direction when she briefly meets your gazes. Then, slowly you go with them to shake hands with the opposite team, they decide to accompany you while you do it.

Cata lifts you from the ground once you finish shaking their hands, the goalkeeper going far and starts to jump on the spot. Irene came and in a mother's voice told her to put you down, the defender wink at you when she put you La Ikurriña flag where the Barça's flag is. You don't mind and give her a big hug, Irene helps you through the whole season and even if she is a helper with everyone, maybe the bond you share for your birthplace helped. The moment the team gathers at the sides for the opposite team to receive the silver medal, Aitana is right in front of you, bright brown eyes mainly on you but making space to shake some hands. Alexia is on your left side, it seems like they didn't want to leave you alone.

The moment it's Barcelona walk, you step quickly next to Vega feeling how Alexia pushes you softly chuckling. With both flags around your neck, you walk between Natalia and Vega, giving a small hug to the club's president and bumping your fist with the little girl before you receive the gold medal. You witness the trophy on your way to the walkway, making a face to the head coach when your gazes meet, the old woman chuckling and bringing you next to her, side hugging you.

One by one, they are approaching and gathering, waiting for Alexia to bring what they missed for two whole years. The Captain received the trophy in her hands, walking with it giving them an anticipated smile. The white smoke flies behind you, the confetti falling gracefully on yours and joining the happiness the team is irradiating while Alexia raises the trophy up, all of you jumping with the noise of the fans, showing them what they deserve to support them.

Then, the trophy from hand to hand until Ingrid comes and puts it in your hands, inciting you with a movement of head. You pick it up while you look at Natalia, you mutter to her if you raise it together or if not, you would pass it to someone else. Rolling her eyes, Natalia held the trophy and with your help raised it up, the whole team cheered like it was the first time.

When the whole team lifted the trophy, Alexia and Aitana yelled at them to give a walk around the stadium, clapping with their hands and celebrating it with the fans and family. Claudia grip your hand on hers, smiling like a kid watching everything with a marvellous face. Patri put herself to your other side, an arm on your shoulder and keeping a conversation with you. A phone showed on your faces, making you smile awkwardly. You promised the rest to take a picture with them, you walked next to Hector when the players joined their families.

Once it is over, Aitana picks and pulls from your hand to walk inside of the tunnel. She leads the way to the big and quiet changing room, closing the door behind her. Her hands went immediately to your waist, caressing your hip bone with her thumb.

"You don't know how much I want to kiss you..." Aitana muttered, leaning on your lips and frowning when you stop her with your hands on her chest. "What?"

"What if they catch us?" You ask, signalling with your head the closed door.

"Then, hopefully they keep us the secret." Aitana comments. "I don't mind if they catch us, at least I could kiss you in front of them."

You snort, putting now your hands on her face. "Would they find it weird?" You ask unsure, tracing her chin with your finger.

"Do you think it's the first time that a player and a coach have a relationship?" Aitana asks rhetorically, raising an eyebrow. "Amor, we aren't the first and definitely not the last." She added, pecking your thumb.

So hearing her words, you nod with your head slowly. Soon her lips are on yours, her hands bring you closer. At first it was soft, until it became deep and slow, showing in the kiss the emotion of the moment. Aitana's lips chased yours when the air became a problem, not letting you have time to breathe properly and starting a new dance.

The door opens abruptly making you break the kiss and look in that direction, the voices shutting up when they witness what is happening inside.

Alexia starts to smirk slowly, laughing for your faces. Mapi squeals behind her and soon pushes them to come inside, making her room and putting herself between you two, arms on both of your shoulders and Ona whistles wiggling her eyebrows, a small astonishing expression.

Jana and Claudia walk quickly inside, big smirks on their faces while they gushes demanding how it started. Frido comes and mutters how cute you two look while giving you a hug, pushing Mapi out in the process.

"They seem happy." Aitana whispers in your ear once they all say something to you two, the loud voices surrounding you.

You just lean and capture her lips, ignoring the cheerful voices of the new champions of Europe.

[alexiabae]

hiii, do you write for kika?🥹

Hello!

I'm not writing for Kika at the moment, but... Maybe I'll start writing soon, so keep an eye on anon!⏳

[alexiabae]

Thanks for writing for jana , bestie 🙏🏻

Wait for more, because I have a few ideas!

Thank you for reading, bestie😊

[alexiabae]

You are feeding us , my dear writer. Thank you so much.

Thank you to you my dear reader!😊

[alexiabae]

ADDICTED, jana fernàndez x fem!reader

Summary: in which you and jana agree a pact where the friendship and pleasure is in the game.

Warnings: smut, fluff, don't read it.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

Jana's head moves like a soft wave every time it reaches the shoreline, breaking there and repeating the same process. She can hear your whimpers, your hands on her head pressing where you wanted. Her own hands are placed on your thighs, opening them like if you are a book and she invested in their pages, devouring them. In some way it's like that, tongue deep down your walls exploring you like the first time, all over again. She knows you are close, her eyes do not lose your expressions the entire time she is down, Jana knows at this point your body, the walls tightening on her tongue and fingers, even if she mostly likes to do it with her mouth, like if she is kissing you, open mouthed kissed where you reach the heaven with her tongue.

The brunette smiled lazily looking up, removing her hair from her face and looking at you with pleasure plastered on your face, eyes closed while your hands were gripping the sheets. The low light from the lamp on the nightstand gives you the perfect shadow, you are still wearing your sweater but she can appreciate the red blush on your neck taking her way to your cheeks.

"Good?" Jana asks hoarse, leaning her head on your leg watching you.

You nod with your head, finally opening your eyes. "Hmm, you are better every time you do it."

Jana chuckles by your comment, covering your naked part with the sheet while she lays next to you, she is still wearing her training kit.

The defender is coming back to her normal behaviour, the one before her break up —in some way— destroys her. It's been months since this happened, and if she needs to thank someone is you.

She has met you since school, a shy friend rooting for her on the matches since always, not changing the aspect when Jana made herself a space in the senior team. However the young Catalan made her own to support you in your dreams, even when you went to live in Madrid to study in college and leave her with a sad sensation.

"I need to go." You comment when recovered, voice low while your eyes are fixed on her.

You two never kissed when these moments happened, it's only sex. Only to gain experience, to learn. To make Jana have a pass time, to you to leave her do what she wanted.

Jana nods, seeing how you are fixing your hair in your low bun. She bent down and picked up your belongings, placing them carefully next to you. She licks her lips and tastes your essence and feels thirsty, inside of her she doesn't mind drinking from you again.

"Pick you up tomorrow after training?" Her voice sounded gentle, a hint of uncertainty in it because maybe you have another plan.

You give her a lipped smile, putting on your underwear and your pants under her gaze. "Sure, I can finish the project later." You lowly let her know, you lean down and kiss her cheek.

That simple gesture makes Jana blush and advertise her eyes from your form briefly, clearing her throat and starting to play with her nails.

"See you." You muttered when you put on your shoes and jacket, waving at your friend with your hand and then going away from her flat.

The words stayed stuck on her throat, watching the empty place. Sighing, Jana goes to her bathroom to take a cold shower.

•••

The next day Jana is in a good mood.

When she arrived to her flat after training, she received a package she bought a few days ago. After she inspects it and her imagination flies, she saves the box in her closet.

However, her mood is ruined when some of her teammates dragged her to the beach, texting you to tell you later she would pick you up, if that's okay with you.

"Why are you frowning like a kid?" Kika points out, pressing her finger between Jana's eyebrows. The defender sighs and pushes her hand away, making Kika chuckle.

Jana saves her phone on her pocket, intertwining her hands through her knees and watch the sunset. "I have plans, that's all." She muttered.

"And why didn't you say something? We could hang out another day." Kika says, like it's obvious.

"Because Mapi and Patri dragged me here! Saying something about change your mood." Jana tries to imitate them, changing her voice and rolling her eyes when see Kika's holding her laugh.

"Well, if it helps, your mood improved from this past month..." The striker nudges her shoulder gently, copying Jana's posture.

All of them have had some struggle with Jana's mood recently, they don't blame her for that, just the person who cheated on her.

Jana bit her lower lip, the salty air hitting her nostrils and calming her. She thought that if she needs to leave Barcelona to play in another country, she is going to miss that smell so much.

"They were worried." Kika comments after a pause, her hair flying in soft waves, sometimes some strands of hair brushing her cheeks. "We are worried," she corrected herself. "You pass to speak about everything to shut up and be grumpy. It's weird seeing you with that mood." She finishes to say, shrugging.

On the shoreline, Mapi is chasing Patri with Claudia behind laughing. Ingrid is calling them and being ignored, standing next to her is Frido, recording the whole thing with a playful smirk. A few meters away, Cata and Vicky are sitting doing a sand castle, like if they are in a summer day when the heat it's dancing with the maximum temperature. All of them are with their training kit, and for their luck the next day they have a day off.

"I'm better now." Jana whispers, her jaw clenching at the reason she had been acting.

"I know." Kika comments back, smirking. Her eyes finds Jana's profile. "How is her name? Y/N, right?" Her laugh filled their space when her friend turned her head quickly to look at her, the blush becoming present on her cheeks. "So... When Am I meeting her again?"

"Never." Jana muttered, looking to the shoreline.

She isn't jealous of Kika, she knows her enough to know that her friend is a flirty person. But luckily to her, you did not wander too much around her teammates.

"Why? She seemed so nice when I met her, so adorable around us for her shyness." Kika laughs quietly when Jana elbows her ribs. "It's with her that you have plans?"

"Maybe." That answer makes Kika snort, raising both hands in the air when Jana looks at her. "She is my friend and I want to spend time with her, I remind you she has been living in Madrid for the past three years."

Kika patted her shoulder a few times and stood up, a hand in the air for Jana to join her. The Catalan sighed but accepted her hand, walking to the shoreline and starting to run away when Mapi ran towards them with a mischievous plan.

•••

"Are you ready?" Jana asks between your legs, both hands at the side of your head to support her weight.

She can feel the blush creeping on her face, the nervousness running through her body. The fabric of her bright blue training kit brushing their exposed skin, the lubricant bottle laying on her right side. Her hair fell like a curtain, from time to time she removes it aside to have a better look at you.

You nod, biting your lip. Your hands are gripping on Jana's side, just like her feeling nervous. "I'm ready." You say, feeling the dildo's tip brushing your skin.

Jana nods and puts on her knees after a moment, grabbing the bottle and spreading it on the pink dildo and with her hand spread it, she took a hand to your entrance and brushed a finger there to put some in that place, noticing that actually you didn't need it.

She can feel her pupils dilating. After taking a quick look between her legs and seeing the glistening showing on the dildo, Jana comes back to the same posture she was before.

"Tell me if you are uncomfortable, okay?" The brunette whispers, watching how you nod.

Taking a hand to the dildo, supporting her weight with a hand, she lowered her head a little to put the dildo to your entry, pushing a little in and stopping, watching carefully your face. After all, it's her first time doing that and she didn't want to hurt you.

"Keep going." You rasp out, taking a hand to her shoulder.

Jana nods again, pushing slowly inside of you. She heard how you hissed when it became deeper, your nails digging on her skin through the fabric of her kit. Her hand comes back to rest next to your head, the view she had a few moments ago making her a little dazzled, the arousal she is feeling intensifying.

She remains still, waiting for you to give a signal that she can move. Meanwhile, Jana is appreciating your features since she is close to your face. Your eyes are closed, biting your lower lip that soon you release, the grip on her shoulder and side loosening, she can feel your legs relaxing.

Then, you open your eyes and nod with your head, muttering at her you are alright. Her hips pushed behind slowly and at the same pace, she hides the colour inside of you. She is like that a few times, one of your hand flies to her cheek to remove her hair, the warmth sensation explodes on her skin and makes her hips move excited, the sound of your skin meeting with hers is louder than before. And like it was the indication they needed, sharing a look they didn't dare to speak out loud, Jana pressed her body on yours, nose to nose and with mouths half open, Jana's hips became faster.

Your legs started to lock around her waist, hands scratching her back through the clothes, soft moans are heard with Jana's accelerated breath. Then, Jana put on her knees and pressed both hands on your thighs. Biting her lip hard, her eyes focused on the dildo disappearing inside of you, doing it a few times in a slow movement and she stopped to torture herself and ordered to her hips to move faster, creating a song every time it meet your skin. She can't stop watching you, her eyes on your covered chest now, looking at how your boobs move with every push she makes.

"I'm c-close." You whisper, moaning lowly. Jana knows you are holding them, she wants to hear you so badly that she is tempted to dare herself and eat you until your voice is broken.

Sweating and panting, Jana presses her front on yours and pushes hard, for a moment wishing to feel how your walls clench around her. Your hands meet on her neck, half eyes open looking at her in a drunk expression. She didn't know how but Jana leans and leaves a kiss on your chin, an intimate gesture that says more than if she presses it on your mouth. Her movements become a little sloppy, but she keeps pushing and being seduced by your moans, her head buried on the side of your neck and bite there, your orgasm breaking inside you and exploding outside, hugging Jana's neck and locking your legs around her waist.

Jana can feel a warm liquid through the skin meeting yours and roll down.

She stopped and let her body rest in yours, she only moved her head to look at your face and paint your image in her mind, colouring it with your warm cheeks.

The moment you open your eyes, she is giving you a soft smile, a hand going to your face and wiping your cheeks, pulling off some strand of hair sticking there.

"Can you remove it?" You ask, a hint of teasing in your voice.

Jana removes and puts herself next to you, watching how your eyes are fixed on the colourful dildo. She follows your eyes and sees how it sticks with your orgasm, the end of her kit with a dark patch where the fabric brushes your entrance.

Clearing her throat, putting aside the wish to do it all over again, Jana takes a hand to the pink penis and removes it from the harness.

"Do you want?" Jana moves it near your face, a smirk on her mouth when you move your nose and shake your head. "Better, because it's for me." Then, she takes it to her mouth and starts to suck, a groan is muffled by it when your flavour meets her tongue.

It becomes one of her favourite flavours.

She can hear how you leave a small squeal, smacking her arm softly. Jana watches you with amusement, sucking like if it is an ice cream.

•••

Guess who I find here😌

Photo attached.

Jana's jaw dropped when she tapped Kika's chat. In the picture she is witnessing you are there, standing awkwardly with a shy smile next to Kika, who looks the contrary at you. The Portuguese have an arm hanging around your shoulders, a knowing smirk plastered framed by part of her hair falling aside.

It seems that you two coincided at the same club and Kika didn't waste the opportunity to send the proof to her teammate, who is in Brighton visiting Bruna.

The defender pulls off from Kika's chat to press yours instead, she typed a quick apology for her friend's behaviour and also complimented you for how beautiful you look.

Turning around on the bed Bruna saved for her when she visited, pressed Kika's name and the first tone rang.

"Leave her alone." Was the first thing Jana says when Kika accepted the call.

The striker leaves out a small laugh, the music in the background is the perfect contrast of the silence in the dark room where Jana is.

"Easy there, I just took a picture with her. It's not me who you should be worried about." Kika hummed, her words slurring a little at the end of the sentence.

Her frown deepened with the implication her teammate made. "What do you mean?" She whispers, holding her phone tightly in her ear.

Kika giggles at the other side. "Aitana seems very interested in her," she pauses and after a few seconds of silence, speaks again. "look at the photo I sent you."

Jana removes her phone from her ear and presses her finger on her chat, watching how Aitana is leaning on your side telling you something in your ear, probably because the music is loud. She can't see your face. She didn't like how her chest tightened for a second when saw the picture or how tight her jaw became.

"They know each other," Jana says after taking her phone to her ear again, her free arm going under her head for support. She didn't know what to say next, so she remained quiet.

"I'll keep an eye on them." Kika hummed, like she sensed without telling so much. Then, she hung up when she shouted a goodnight at her.

Throwing the phone on the bed, Jana makes herself a lot of questions where the answer didn't want to show up, her mind scratching the right moment when it happened.

•••

She couldn't hide the surprise on her face when see you standing in front of her door.

Not for a particular reason, you two have your schedule set and after all, Jana mentioned she had bond night with the team that day.

"Sorry to come, but I don't know where else to go..." You muttered, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

Jana grabs your other hand and pulls from you towards hers, wrapping you in a hug while she closes the door with her left foot.

"You can come here when you want, you know it." The brunette whispered, leaning her chin on your head. "What happened?" She asks you gently, rocking your bodies in synchronization feeling your hands on her training kit.

"Life." You grumpily say, moving your head and leaning it on her shoulder looking at the white wall.

"They lost for not having you with them." Jana comments softly, guessing you are like that because you received another negative to obtain a job. "You'll see when you are successful and they regret the rejection they gave you."

You leave out a small chuckle, giving her a long squeeze before you separate and fix your eyes on her clothes, your smile opening.

"Still wearing the training kit? I'm sure they are used by now that you are always late." You comment teasingly.

Jana wanted to fake an offender expression, but your red eyes and cheeks are too distracting to her. "I take my time to get ready," she smirks, intertwining her fingers with yours and walking to the couch. "You wait here, I don't take too long." She pocket her tongue out at you when you snort, tickling your side briefly.

Probably it's because you are here, but actually Jana didn't take too long to be ready. Hair damp with fresh clothes on, she goes out of her bedroom and sits next to you while putting on her boots.

"I'm surprised." You state, saving your phone in your pocket.

Jana winks at you. "See? Told you. Also, do you want to come with me? They wouldn't mind it." She says when saw your expression to her offer. "It would be a good thing for you to distract yourself..." She hummed, nudging your side when she finished putting on her boots.

Rolling your eyes, you gave in. Her arms wrapped around you immediately, humming happily for your quiet reply.

When you two arrived at Mapi and Ingrid's place, they all were there already and welcome you, not bothering for the new intruder. Jana ignores when Kika winks at her way when she hugs you and remains next to you with an arm on your shoulders.

Through the evening, Jana can see the change in your mood. You are smiling more, frowning when Kika makes a double meaning comment to her and you talking with them makes Jana look at you with a dazzle expression.

Still, she didn't know that it could be ruined in a second. Jana is holding her cards on her chest for Patri and Mapi doesn't sneak a quick look at them, waiting for her turn to throw —hopefully— a card. Then, her phone vibrates on her lap indicating someone is calling. Still covering her cards on her chest, she picks it up with the other and her breath falters for a moment. There is no name in the ID, but she didn't need it when know the number perfectly.

It belongs to her ex.

Her phone is in silent mode, so she sees the screen with the entry call until it finishes. Without thinking too much Jana throws the card to the floor and stands up, cursing walking to the bathroom with her phone in hand.

How dare she call her?

Jana bites her lower lip hard, eyes fixed on the phone in her hand feeling very angry. Again, she didn't think and threw the device hard to the floor watching how the screen formed a scratch in a horizontal form. Rubbing her forehead with a hand on her hip, she bent down to pick up her phone but left out a small pained sound, leaving the phone where it was. Blood started to fall for the cut she made on her fingertips.

The door opened and a small group was formed there, they are looking at Jana and the first to go inside is Patri.

"Take Y/N out! She is prone to deep cuts and could pass out for the blood." Jana in a rush command, hiding her hand from you when she sees you on the entry.

Alexia comes inside and gently asks for some of them to take you to the living room, Kika and Patri are the ones who take charge of the phone while Alexia rummages through the bathroom in search of the kit to take care of Jana's cut.

"What happened?" Alexia asks while she cleans the cut, apologising when Jana leaves out a small hiss.

Patri and Kika look at each other and go away from there with the phone, leaving them some privacy.

Jana looks at the ceiling, tears of impotence rolling through her cheeks. "She called." There is no necessity to mention the name of who Jana is referring to.

"Did she do it frequently?" Alexia questioned, a protective tone showing up for the information shared.

"No." Jana answers after sighing. "Only when she is bored."

"Why didn't you block her number?"

It's a good question, why didn't she do that? Jana doesn't know why, but it's the first thing she is going to do when she obtains a new phone.

The only answer Jana could do is shrug, Alexia squeezed her arm in a reassuring way.

Before they could continue talking, a knock was heard. They see how your head goes in and ask if everything is okay, a hand covering her eyes and it only makes Jana paint a silly smile.

"I am." The brunette let you know, watching how you put down your hand and opened the door.

Alexia stood up when she finished putting a small bandage on her fingers, saving everything and letting you some privacy closing the bathroom door.

"You are angry." You point out gently, sitting on her lap because there isn't another place to sit.

Jana's arms hold you, hiding her head on your neck and trying to calm herself. She feels how you rub small circles on her back, but the thought of the call makes her impossible to pay attention to.

However when you stand up, Jana frowns and grabs your hand to pull you towards her to come back on her lap, but you resist.

"I can help." You whispered, giving her a small smile.

Confused, Jana sees how you take your hands to your pants and pull off the button, zip down.

"You don't have to do that." Jana clenched her jaw, eyes getting dark for the implication you are making.

You didn't say anything, just pull down your pants and your black panties. Jana swallows, fixing her gaze on your exposed part. She didn't want you to believe that she wanted only for sex, you are more important to her than the new experience you two implement in your lives. But it's very difficult to articulate a word out when she has you centimetres away from her.

"Come here..." Jana pushes your hips with both hands and keeps them there firmly, giving you a significant look, she lowered her head and trail kisses from your belly to the place she anticipated.

Jana's hands grip on your hips like if her life depends on it. She didn't mind the pain shooting through her fingertips, ignoring it. She keeps pushing her tongue inside of you, your smell intoxicating her while your taste makes her feel drunk. It didn't help the sounds you are hiding in your mouth, the sound of her mouth playing or her saliva creating noises.

Taking a look at your core, she asked herself which lips would be swollen, yours or hers. Jana is careful, but her next movement shows how much. She pushes you closer —if that is possible— and puts both hands on your ass cheeks, knowing you are close, Jana stops licking and starts to kiss you, a soft moan escaping from her mouth and thankfully it's muffled by your vaginal lips. She makes you raise a leg on her neck, to give her more access.

A hand flies to her head, making pressure where you wanted her to be. Jana stopped doing it slowly to increase the rhythm, wanting to taste you.

Panting, Jana locked her arms on your waist and separated a little from the place, kissed your lower abdomen and looked up, watching your post orgasm face.

"Feeling better?" Your voice sounded hoarsely, a hoarse whisper while your hand massaged her scalp.

Jana wanted to sit you on her lap and kiss you, but that would be weird. So she just nodded with her head, licking her lips. The brunette stands up and grabs a towel, knowing where her friends saved them and wetting it with soap, she approaches and kindly cleans you quickly, ignoring once again the tightness on her fingers.

Once you are in your panties and pants, you bring her to the sink and clean her chin with your red cheeks, eyes not missing any dirty spots with your juices.

"I thought to bring you a pillow and a sheet to sleep there." Mapi jokes when she sees you two come back to the living room, Claudia screaming UNO with a mischievous laugh.

Jana goes in holding your hand, choosing to sit in the empty space on the couch with you. With her mind tired, she hears you quietly having a conversation with Ona until her eyelids are closed and miss the rest of the bond night.

•••

She never thought to have a kink, and less if the strap on is involved. How did she get turned on to stroke her fake cock?

It started at a distracted moment, she was seeing you get ready because you are meeting some friends to go outside, while her eyes keep looking at you, her hand flies to her training shorts, forgetting she put on the strap early that day and remembered when her fingers brushed the bulge. With tinted cheeks, she sneaks a hand inside and brushes carefully the length, up and down for a few times until Jana held it and started to stroke, eyes on you wondering to herself how would feel to actually feel that stroke.

Then, it worsened when she got out of you one time and saw the cock glistening with your juices, while you were trying to regulate your breathing, the brunette took a hand to it and started to rub, fingers starting to be covered by your essence, a grunt escaped from her mouth without realising. To enjoy what she was doing more, her eyes closed and kept stroking, behind her eyelids the imagination flew vividly.

Opening her eyes again, she made you sit down on her lap and have another round. She held your hip with her fingers covered by you, your tits bouncing up and down on her face and for the first time leaving a mark on your clavicle.

Now, Jana finds herself hiding this guilty pleasure around you, ashamed that you can judge her.

And it's not the only thing she is hiding. The excitement when you are around her, the long gazes she gave you when you rant at her, the smile on her face when you laugh or the pure love on her eyes every time she helps you to touch the stars in the broken silence of her bedroom.

She is afraid too though. Jana knows you for half of her life, memories of when you were kids playing with other kids on the street, Jana happily choosing you when they made teams to play to whatever it was, helping her when the longest injury crashed her and put aside the pitch. You embraced her tears, the pain she felt with the world recently or the stupid deal you made drunk to have more experience when future couples show what you gained.

•••

Taking a long sigh, Jana watches you interact with Kika, who you created a bond with since you joined with them that day.

The striker have improvised a small gathering in her flat, she asks her to bring you and spend a good time, recalling to her that you should like to taste some of the traditional Portuguese recipes she made.

Kika is out for the rest of the season, missing the tournament this summer and probably the start of the new season. Jana has an idea of how she could feel, the team is taking care of her, however they all know how hard it is.

"Do you like it?" Kika asks you straight, anticipation showing on her face, she has her spoon hanging mid air and waits for your answer like an impatient child.

You nod, wiping the corner of your mouth with a napkin. Kika mouthed a yes, raising her free hand to air in a fist and gaining the laugh of them.

"If you want, another day I can cook Francesinha, I think you would like it." Then, she proceeded to explain what ingredients it has while you all finished the Caldo Verde she made. Kika named more typical Portuguese recipes.

Frido comments at you about Swedish dishes, agreeing to herself to bring you some typical Swedish sweets that everyone needs to taste once in their life.

"If you don't ask her, I'll do it." Aitana surprised Jana after dinner, approaching her on the balcony.

The defender opens her eyes, leaning on the chair and looking briefly behind them to see if someone heard her. Aitana snort and pat playfully her arm, muttering they are alone.

"I don't know if your friend had some problem with her eyes, but it's obvious." The midfielder hummed, the corner of her lips twitching up. "Don't try to deny it." She advertised her when see her open her mouth.

Jana takes a deep breath, looking everywhere minus Aitana. Clearing her throat, she puts a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm afraid." She admitted, swallowing.

She had this conversation with Bruna, not mentioning the part where she has sex with you, the young striker catches on her feelings very easily.

Aitana tilts her head, playing with her fingers on the table. Inside, small laughter was heard. "It's normal. But sometimes you need to risk, that's life. It's the emotion of living, if it is scary do it."

Those words hit Jana, maybe agreeing on them. If she needs to risk being with someone, that is you. There aren't any other people she wants to be than you at this moment.

"Kika seems interested in her too..." Aitana teases Jana a little, her eyes focusing on the living room where you are holding her sides awkwardly because Kika is not using the crutches.

Jana rolls her eyes, smiling.

"She is interested in someone to tease." Jana corrects Aitana, watching through her shoulder.

Ingrid lowered the volume when Mapi raised it loudly, scolding her girlfriend while this one danced with a glass in her hand, happily helping you to dance with Kika. Frido calls for the ones on the balcony, telling them that their drinks are ready. Vicky ran like a kid away from Patri, while Ellie, Claudia and Esmee were sitting on the nearby couch to the balcony, phones in hand recording and talking between them. Ona came out of the kitchen with her phone up, pointing it at them and telling she is talking with Lucy.

"Do it." Aitana muttered when she stood up and stepped towards Ona, loudly greeting Lucy.

Jana stands up too, walking and witnessing how you look invested in whatever Mapi is telling you.

•••

"I love you..." Jana muttered when she lay on top of you, lips brushing your ear.

She can feel the grip on her shirt, loosening slowly when her words meet you. She can feel your eyes on the side of her face, centimetres away separating. Her brown eyes meet you decisively, brushing her thumb on your cheek and caressing your skin.

Then, she has an idea. Since the deal started, Jana never pulled her shirt off, just like you. Quickly, she pulls it off alongside her sport bra and comes back to lay on top of you.

She sees your blush, her fingers travel around the gem of your shirt, asking with her eyes if that is okay with you. Leaving a trail of kisses between your chest, she sneaks a hand behind to remove your bra, allowing her to appreciate the curve of your breast. Jana moves her head at the same level as yours and brushes her nose with yours, hands on the side of your head.

"You know... I just realised something," you started to say in a low voice. You take a hand to caress her cheek. "I never make you cum."

Jana suppresses a smirk when you shyly say the last word, you see her and playfully pat her arm. "It was necessary, I took care of myself." The brunette confessed, remembering the times she used your image to come.

When the brush of your thumb on her cheek brings her back, Jana's heartbeat accelerates. Maybe it's not the time, but she leaves herself to flow.

"I want to tell you something." Jana leans on one side, copying you and bringing a hand to your cheek, her finger tracing a small way to repeat. "I don't know if you noticed, but I like you. Like, I feel strong things towards you, not only desire...-" she cuts herself when notice she is rambling, the blush starts to approach on her cheeks. Clicking her tongue, she bites her lip nervously.

You noticed and released her lip from her teeth, muttering that's okay and to take a breath. The moment Jana focused on you, she noticed a calm gesture on your face and something inside her relaxed.

Clearing her throat, Jana gives herself another try to do it better. "I would love to take you on a date, and many more. I want to hold your hand every time you think you can't. I want to remind you how beautiful you are when you don't feel you aren't. I want to be your smile when you cry or your refuge when you want to hide." She can continue saying things, but she stopped when see your crystal eyes and a tear fell from them. Jana catches it with her lips, kissing your wet skin.

Unexpectedly, you turned around and put Jana under you. Her hands fly to your hips, chuckling surprised by your movement. "I love you too." You whisper in her mouth, smiling widely watching her. Assimilating Jana's declaration and not believing she feels the same.

Jana puts both hands on your cheeks and with the same smile as you, brings your face to her and finally kisses you, an electric sensation running through her body.

It's a slow and shy kiss, turning into a loving, desperate and with emotion. Jana wants to tell you through her kisses how much you mean to her, the scars you carefully patch and teach her to love, when the silence spoke louder than the words she could say.

There is a lot, but Jana is not a writer to describe, just a learner to you. Your body, the touch of her hands on your curves and a new explorer in your mouth.

[alexiabae]

ALEXIA'S EX GIRLFRIEND | jana fernàndez x fem!reader

Summary: in which jana is in a relationship with her teammate's ex-girlfriend.

Warnings: fluff, secret relationship, gap age (not too much), jealousy.

Note: it's funny how in my head I had an idea and when I wrote it came out differently, still I hope you like it.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

"S-Stop..." Your breath out, hands gripping her shoulders and trying to push her away, even if that is the last thing you wanted.

You can feel her smile on your skin, biting softly the spot on your neck to move her head from there and look at you, smirk spreading at your sight.

"We are alone." Jana murmurs, nose brushing your cheek while her hands remain on your waist.

"We are in a public area where anyone can go inside." You remind her gently, stroking her arm. Your back is on the changing room's wall because she trapped you there a few minutes ago.

Jana rolls her eyes, leaning her forehead on yours. "They are gone, probably they don't notice us that we aren't with them." She says, her lips brush your mouth with every word.

You push her softly behind, seeing how her face changed but give in, letting out a sigh.

You two are in camp, the second day of being there and Jana couldn't control her hands out of you and you can't blame her, since you are in different teams and the time together is scarce.

Giving her one last look, you go to take a quick shower. Jana follows you and goes to the next where you are. The silence envelopes the huge place and it's only interrupted by the water, coming back when you two go out. You assume she is a little pissed by the situation, not muttering a word out since you broke the moment.

Still, she awaits you when she finishes before you. Eyes glued to her phone, only looking at you when you sit on her lap.

"Don't be mad at me." You said with a small pout, hands trailing behind her neck, her wet hair meeting your skin. "Wanted me to dry it? We are in November and the sun has gone from a long time ago." You don't wait for her answer, just going to your bag and rummaging between your things and pulling out your hairdryer.

She keeps quiet, letting you dry her hair. You know she is upset and it makes you feel a little bad. Jana puts her hands on your thighs, leaning her forehead on your stomach. The brunette stays like that until you finish drying her hair, her head rising up but her chin remaining on your stomach, brown eyes looking at you.

"I know." You whisper, knowing the meaning of her gaze. You lowered your head and met her lips half way, pecking them. "Just give me a little more time to think about what I'm going to say to her."

Her, means Alexia.

Jana nods against your belly, standing up and hugging you.

•••

Tiredly, you lean down on the bed when you go in Irene's bedroom, the veteran player deciding to have the bond night there. Patri squeezed your thigh, making you squirm and leave an involuntary laugh. A mistake you made because soon Patri is on you making tickling your sides, laugh fell from your mouth while your eyes start to be teary, you try to push her away, but you fail.

Patri stopped once she thought it was enough, a smirk on her face watching you recuperate your breath. You punch her shoulder, wiping your eyes and feeling how someone pushes you towards the middle.

"Miss me?" Leila winks at you, throwing herself on top of you and hugging you.

You snort. "I see you more now than when we were on the same team." You comment, hearing how Leila chuckles because she agrees with you.

The defender put herself in a better position, starting a teasing battle with Patri against you. Your attention drifted away from them when you saw Jana walk in with Ona and María, the brunette searching for something until her gaze fell on you, the corner of her lips twitch up and start to walk towards you.

"Do you mind if I put myself here?" She asks, gifting you one of her famous and irresistible smiles.

"I guess... If you don't join them on teasing me." You say, pointing with a hand to the players.

"Deal." Jana agrees when she looks at the fake innocent faces of her friends, putting herself between your legs and leaning her back on your front.

Soon Irene quietened the room indicating she was going to put on the movie, turning off the lights. There are a few complaints about the movie, some of them didn't want to watch a horror movie but Patri —who chose it— gives an argument that it's not that scary, gente.

You feel cozy, surrounded by your teammates providing you warm. Aitana passes you four a blanket, Jana puts it to cover with Leila's help. You were playing with Jana's hair while you were trying to keep your eyes open, mindlessly you lean your head on Patri's shoulder to have a better angle to the TV, but you feel more comfortable and slowly your eyes are closing.

A soft tap on your leg brightens up, focusing your attention around, you take some seconds to react and start to move your hand on Jana's hair again. However your eyes start to close again, your head swaying and sometimes making you open your eyes, you can hear a snort coming from Leila and your elbow on her side, she gives a dramatic face in response.

You stopped moving your hands instead, you left them on her head's side and relaxed your legs, giving up on the movie. You feel how the soft material of the blanket covers one of your hands and soon Jana's warm hand intertwines with yours, making you smile with your eyes closed for that simple gesture.

Your heart is beating fastly against your chest when you open your eyes again, startled. You lift part of your body up, looking around.

Someone screamed like her life depends on it.

The movie is paused when the room starts to laugh hard and makes fun of Salma's scream. Then, Patri looks at you and her laugh intensifies, pointing your face with a finger. You frown, trying to hold your laugh when you realise how you look from outside and keep watching her, a few of them joined Patri.

Rolling your eyes, you muttered at them to grow up, your gaze meeting Jana's when you lay down again, seeing a soft smirk on her lips looking at you while her thumb is stroking your hand, thankfully still covered by the blanket.

Irene presses the play button again after they promised her to be adults. With the little nap you took, you watch the movie until the end, some jumps or small squeals were heard but nothing serious to stop the film again.

Alexia throws at you a cushion when they all stand up, giving you a teasing smirk. You are half way up when it hits you, the blonde not afraid if you make a counter attack stand next to you.

"Very adult." You say, putting on your shoes. You smirk now when she rolled her eyes and put her hands on her pockets.

"At least you notice me." She muttered, raising an eyebrow at you.

You snort. "Aww, are you jealous?" You fake a pout, throwing your arms on her neck and tiptoes a little because she is some centimetres taller than you, squeezing her cheeks with a hand.

She pushes you away from her easily, muttering an idiota under her breath. You smile and turn to the door, noticing that Jana is there with Aitana. Your smile washes out slowly, noticing the way Jana is looking at you two.

You cleared your throat, acting like nothing happened and landed an arm around your roomie, walking tiredly towards your assigned bedroom.

•••

"What are you doing here?" You hissed in a whisper when you woke up.

The other person makes room on your bed, an arm wrapping on your waist and pressing herself towards you, muttering that she is cold.

"She is sleeping, don't worry." Jana whispered when you asked again, sneaking a leg between yours and hugging you more, letting out a content sigh when she started to feel warm.

You hold your breath, trying to hear if Aitana woke up for Jana's intrusion in your room. But she seems like she is still sleeping, for your luck.

"You need to go before she wakes up." You instructed, allowing yourself to enjoy this rare moment with your girlfriend.

Jana hummed, finding your mouth and pecking your lips until they become a little heated make out session. With her hands under your pajama shirt, you whisper a soft stop, trying to see her face through the darkness. She just bites your lower lip in response, releasing it to press a chaste kiss on your lips and whispering a good night.

The next morning when you woke up, Aitana was getting ready and alerted to half raised your body to look at your bed, relief washing your face when there is not Jana, even if you wanted she is there the moment you wake up.

Aitana raised an eyebrow, seeing your weird reaction. You shrugged and muttered that you thought you got asleep while you stood up, walking to the bathroom.

Later that day, when a few of you are in the play room, you are in your phone scrolling Instagram and checking your friends' adventures. Then, Patri elbow you and when you raise your head to look at her, the midfielder is giving you a sly smirk.

"Why are you smiling like that?" She asks with a fake innocent tone, keeping smirking.

You roll your eyes, snorting and coming back to look at your phone. "No one, idiota." You muttered, showing her pictures of your best friend that it's on your screen right now.

"Yeah, sure. Now you have that excuse, but I was watching you for a while and you have a smile stuck on your face." Patri keeps pressing, an arm going to lay to the couch's back.

"Are you watching me? Need I to worry?" You tease her, seeing how she rolls her eyes and some of them laugh.

At that moment Alexia and a few more enter.

Patri smack your arm friendly, but her smirk didn't remove. "I just saying... Are you watching someone?" She asks like nothing, making you chuckle.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"You answering me with another question..." Patri hummed, eyes drifting to another place. "What? Nobody dares to date Alexia's ex? I can give a try if you leave me." She raised her voice enough for the mentioned to hear her, winking at you when she finished talking.

Some say 'uhhh' when they hear Patri, your eyes look at Alexia who is blushing sending a shut up to the Balear, sitting in a chair not far away from you two.

"You are not my type." You say innocently, blinking playfully.

And like a bad joke, Jana entered the moment you said that. She frowns a little, looking in your direction while walking to your right side.

"And who your type? Blonde, hazel eyes, Catalan and captain?" She teases you, a plastic bottle flying to her the moment she said that. Patri dodge it easily, laughing by Alexia failed attempt to hit her. "Just kidding, Ale. But help me here, do you think she is seeing someone?" Patri points your face, attention fully on the other midfielder.

You roll your eyes, taking a small breath. Your eyes meet your forehead and rub it, your other holding your phone in a firm tight. You can feel Jana's eyes on you.

Alexia frown, eyes on you now. "I don't know... Are you?" She asks casually, shrugging.

You opened your mouth a little. "Are you serious Alexia?" You ask rhetorically, hearing some leave a quiet laugh, Alexia giving you a sheepish smile. "Since when you gossip like this one?" You point with your thumb on Patri's direction, the brunette hand smacking your thigh again. Realising a sigh, you decided to answer. "No, I'm not seeing anyone." Say that words out loud, hurt. But you know it would be worse if Alexia finds out this way with everyone there.

Patri leaves out a snort. "Maybe they are scared to date you." She says, making a brief pause. "They would think that your standards are higher since you dated Alexia."

Some of them snickers by this, Alexia throwing a cushion to her way and this time she hits her face. You decided to remain quiet, leaning your back and keep your focus on your phone. Now you can feel two different pairs of eyes on you, one for different reasons.

You decide to go out from there, ignoring Patri's calls and when she tells you that she is joking. You step to the recovery empty room, sitting on the floor and looking through the big windows how the night is falling. You ignore the cold spreading on your body, a small knot forming on your chest. Sometimes you wandered because some things are complicated or just maybe we complicate things.

"There you are..." A soft voice interrupted in, stepping next to you and immediately wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "Feel better?"

You lean your head on her chest. "I'm sorry to say those words.".

Jana take her moment to say something, chin leaning at the top of your head. "I know." She simply says, wrapping her other arm around your body.

You raised your gaze, keeping your head on her chest. You didn't know how she still is capable to remain that kindness with you. Her brown eyes looks at you, letting yourself swim on her gaze and discover a new thing about her with every interaction. She leans her head slowly, eyes getting closed half way when you press your lips on her. You leave out a content hum when the warmth of her tongue slipped easily on your mouth, the dance is slow and whispers, slow and rhythmic. Once in your hand find her jawline, bringing her closer towards you.

It's interrupted the moment you two hear someone leaves out a surprised yelp, separating of Jana you see how Mariona and Leila are standing on the door, the defender muttering to herself that they are dead while the Balear has her mouth open, staring at you two.

"Leila stop!" You hissed, stepping towards them and grabbing her hand, pulling her towards you making her look at you.

The brunette stopped abruptly, blinking repeatedly. "We are screwed up." She says seriously.

"You don't need to worry, just keep quiet. That's all you need to do." You say calmly, grabbing both of her hands.

Leila snort, removing her hands from you. "Are you serious? I don't want to keep your secret!" She said, a scared expression approaching on her face. Her feet start to move nervously from one side to another, muttering to you two to tell it to Alexia.

At least you aren't the only one scared, both of you know how the captain would react to your relationship.

"Leila!" Jana has enough and calls her, arms crossed on her chest. The defender stopped abruptly and looked at her, her scared expression remaining. "We know what to do. We are asking for you to not say anything to her." She says softly, alternating her gaze on the other two.

"I want to keep living Jana, of course I'm not going to say anything!" Leila says in an obvious tone, making Jana roll her eyes. "Just promise me the moment she finds out, you don't mention me."

After you two promised her that, she stormed out from there. You two look at Mariona, you nervously started to bite your nail. The Balear stopped looking at the door and took her gaze towards you two, slowly, she starts to smile, widening it while she walks towards you and wraps both of you in a hug, muttering some positive words.

You leave a relief sigh when you hear her, not knowing how much you need to hear some positive comments after having discussions in your head about your relationship, that slowly, is affecting you two.

•••

"What are you doing here?" Alexia asks the moment she approached the stands, spotting you in the familiar zone.

You shrugged, putting your sunglasses up. "Can I come to visit my friends?" You ask rhetorically.

You smirk when Alexia shoves you friendly. One of her arms wraps around your frame, her chin brushes your cheek momentarily on your side hug, she doesn't want to fully hug you because she is sweaty.

Soon they started to come and share some words, you are having an animated conversation with Caro —who you missed so much— when Jana came, the only one who knew that you were there.

The brunette feigned surprise, sneaking an arm on your waist and kissing your cheek. She leaves you to resume your conversation with your Norwegian friend, she started one with the few ones there, some familiar joining too. You spotted Jana's mother approaching and some nerves got to you, making you misspell some words.

"I thought your English got better, since you joined Arsenal you know..." Caro teases you a little, hiding her chin on her jacket.

You give her an ironic smile, rolling your eyes on the process. Alexia comes back after greeting her family, telling you that they invite you to have lunch together. You can't deny her offer, not after they take care of you all those years in Barcelona, they treat you well and you are not a rude person.

So you nod with your head, looking at Jana a few meters away talking with her mother and Bruna, who joined the Barcelona squad again after her last season on loan in Brighton.

She is going to be upset.

"Can I come in?" Patri asks like a child, blinking innocently.

Alexia looks at you, letting you choose if she can join the improvised lunch. You shrugged, don't mind it. Big mistake, because it means some of them are joining and the best part is tonight you have a full meeting with the whole team, wanting to spend time with you.

You excuse yourself when you see Jana walking to the group once she finishes talking with her mom, Bruna greets you and keeps walking, letting you two alone when you ask for the defender to have some words in private.

"Love your cardigan." Jana hummed lowly, her fingers tracing the brown material while checking it on you.

"I borrowed it from my girlfriend, but shhh, keep me the secret." You say in a whisper, making Jana chuckles by your antics. Your features turn softer, knowing that you need to explode the little bubble creating around you two. "I have bad news..."

Jana frowned immediately, her hand taking you in a dissimulated way. Fingers intertwining with yours, she asked what it is.

"Alexia's family invited me to have lunch with them." You start to say, seeing how the defender relaxed her face until she fully processed the information, this time are her eyes showing annoyance. "I'm sorry, amor. I can't deny it, you can come if you want! A few of them are coming." You add, bringing her hand towards you the moment you feel she was pulling hers away. "Please..."

The young Catalan made a face, eyes watching behind your back with a pensative face. You lowered your head, your voice only a whisper for her to hear. You promised her tomorrow you will be all hers, without anyone interrupting your alone time.

"I know it would happen anyway..." Jana says, looking at your eyes and giving you a soft smile. You know it's force, but you lean and contently kiss her cheek, wrapping your arms on her neck. "I'm sweaty." She hummed.

You stay looking at her for a few seconds, appreciating her face. She looks more relaxed, her red face becoming normal again, her ponytail in the same position she made before the match started without a hair out of place.

You wanted to kiss her so badly, but you just held your wish and squeezed the hand you were holding, pushing her towards the changing room and rushing her.

While they all get ready, you stay in Alexia's car when you ask for her keys. It's been awhile since you and her hung out outside football, maybe the last time was before your first season in Arsenal. The midfielder accompanied you and Mariona to London to help you with the move, mostly you because Mariona has Lia and you are alone. There were a lot of promises and soft challenges now that you are rivals in the Champions League.

"We need to wait for Mapi and Patri." Alexia came, wet hair damping her fresh clothes. "What?" She asks when you stay staring at her.

"It's November! Almost December and you all keep with the wet hair. It's annoying!" You dramatically said, still you are tired of seeing them doing it every cold day.

She rolls her eyes, telling you to not start and closing the door. She cut you easily changing the subject, asking you how you got to the stadium and where you are staying.

"Well... If you don't remember, I still have an apartment here." You stated, and then proceeded to lie. "And a friend brought me here." You give her a lipped smile.

Alexia knitted her eyebrows, giving you a curious gaze. "Who?"

You hold a sigh, of course she needed to ask. "Laura, my friend that didn't like you." You don't lie there, not hiding a small smirk when Alexia gives a look.

"Lovely." She muttered, turning on the radio. "Stay tonight in my place if you like." The blonde says casually.

She didn't look at you when she told it, avoiding your gaze. If another person didn't know you two, it would look like Alexia made a move on you, but that's far away from reality. Alexia broke up with Olga and struggled with it for a few months, she is shy of asking you to stay because she missed you.

You can't, though.

"What if you meet someone... It would be very awkward." You try to joke, not wanting to give a full negative to your friend.

Alexia scoff. "That is not happening. First, I'm focused on football and second, I'm tired." She started to play with the key-chain distracted.

Before you could reply, the back door opened. You both look behind and see the people you were waiting for and Ona, who cheekily tells you that she is joining.

You assumed Jana was going with Aitana.

"It's supposed to be an invitation for you, not half of the team..." Alexia muttered, starting to drive.

You give her an innocent smile, in the background the bickering of your friends.

•••

You are sitting between Alexia and Alba —the captain's sister—, laughing and anecdotes flying on the table. Your cheeks hurt the amount of laughs for the old ones, Alexia's mom embarrassed both of you with some of them, the midfielder trying to stop her while her sister cheered for her mom to continue to tell them.

Leaving the cup on the table, you crossed your arms and leaned them there, looking mindlessly around you until your eyes focused on Jana. The brunette is having a conversation with Ona, to your mind comes the little time you interact with her since the match is over. A nudge to your side brings you back, Alba elbow your side in a soft manner and raise an eyebrow, signaling with her head to her sister's direction.

"Are you two coming back?" Alba asks with a smirk. The comment brings the attention of Patri, who added a comment excitedly.

"First, shut up," Alexia warns Patri, shushing her with her eyes when the Balear is to protest. "and you too. What part of we are friends, do you not understand?"

You look at Jana, catching her eyes on you both. Well, the attention is on you the moment Alba asked that.

"I'm teasing, relax hermanita." Alba says, her smirk didn't go away. "But you two make a good couple, just saying." She finished saying, taking a sip of her wine.

Jana's jawline clenched, on another occasion you would love to see the sharpness of it, but not right now. Her eyes moved to the empty plate, supporting her chin with her hand.

Alexia's mom reprimanded Alba, gaining more laughter from the table. Alexia is blushing furiously next to you, scolding at her sister under her breath and you don't know where to hide yourself, Patri and Mapi aren't helping with their comments.

"I think it's time to go." You comment after a moment, silencing the table. Clearing your throat, giving a smile to Eli when she told you to forgive her daughter's behaviour, you excuse yourself that later you would have another meeting with the rest of the team and wanted to rest a little.

"You sure you're okay?" Alexia asks lowly, eyebrows knitted.

You nod, faking a smile knowing that your friend caught it. Before she could say something, you stand up and reject the offer of her taking to your apartment. However, you make Aitana take you there because her apartment is closer to yours and Jana's.

The warmth of your apartment greets you and you receive it gladly, you open the curtains to let the sun's rays come inside and open a little the windows, it's been awhile since you were there, but you have friends to take care of your flat while you are out.

Fifteen minutes later, there are a few soft knocks on your door, revealing Jana behind the front door.

"I was waiting for you." Jana muttered, closing the door behind her when you turn to the kitchen.

You pause. "I thought you wanted space." Finally you said, taking a sip from your bottle.

She nods lowly, chewing her lip. "Well, I wanted to share it with you." She mutters on your ear when she approaches you, both hands resting on your hips.

It's inevitable for you not to smile, relaxing your mind. You brush your nose on hers before you peck her lips, Jana chased them when you separated and catches them making you close your eyes, enjoying the soft and slow dance.

Leaning your forehead on hers, you opened your eyes. "It's too much?" You ask unsure, appreciating her colour eyes from that distance.

That question makes Jana think, the references of her girlfriend would have been involved with Alexia again it's something that she didn't like to hear, but she swallowed and kissed her nose, muttering that it's fine.

You know that she is hiding how those words are affecting her. It's not the first time that they made a reference to you and Alexia or just that you have been involved with someone else in front of Jana, you two spoke about it a little more these past month when Patri talked about this topic in front of your teammates.

"I want my dessert..." Jana whispered in your ear, interrupting your thoughts. She gave you a knowing smirk, lifting you up easily and sitting on the island, putting herself between your legs. "You promised me before, remember?"

You blushed a little, but before you could make a remark, Jana silenced you with her lips, your hands stroking her jaw line and bringing her closer.

•••

You didn't think to spend your first days of the new year without speaking with your girlfriend. You two had a big discussion about your relationship, one where she got out of your flat to spend the night on Mariona's to the next day fly back to Spain.

It makes you think, to put some order in your head.

You have been struggling to hide your relationship, afraid of Alexia's reaction and not thinking about how Jana was feeling with it. It is affecting her too, mostly than she showed.

Without knowing it, Patri started the discussion. Jana read the text your friend sent you and you disagree the best you can, forgetting to mention it to her and then, she exploded.

The midfielder sent you to have a blind date with one of her friends, and it wasn't the first time. You reassured Jana that it's nothing to worry about, but it seems that she has other thoughts.

"I don't know why you are so afraid of her!"

She shouts at you, chest going up and down because it's been awhile like that. Still, what are the words that made you shut up.

Before she could approach you to apologise, you shout back, regretting raising your voice when you finish.

Jana clenched her jaw, wiping the tears that slipped from her eyes and muttering she is going out. You beg her to stay, at least that night but she goes and leaves you with the worst sensation you felt in a time.

You texted her and she ignored you, you called her and once again she ignored you. And that's hurt, not wanting to lose her you took a decision.

Tell everything to Alexia.

So you fly to Barcelona and come back to London the same day, since you have training tomorrow. You don't tell Jana anything, she will see you when you arrive at the training building. The only one who knows is Mariona, wishing you good luck and ignoring Leila's warnings.

It is a cloudy day in the Condal city, you drive from the airport to the facilities, the nervousness rising with the moment approaching, making you feel less bold.

You don't have a problem going inside, they happily leave with a content greeting and you walk where they instruct you where they would be. You sit down on the stands, greet the staff team and watch how the players are finishing the exercise. If Jana sees you, she doesn't show any signal about it, not like Mapi who happily raised a hand and greeted you.

"What are you doing here?" Alexia asks when she approached you, wiping the sweat from her forehead with her training shirt.

You chewed your lip, separating from the hug with Frido. "I came to talk to you." You say softly, the nervousness showing up.

Frido squeezes your side and turns to the other side when she senses your state, muttering to some of them to go with her.

Alexia frowns, catching your eyes looking behind. She turns and sees a few of them there talking, the ones who still didn't approach her friend. She turns around, not understanding anything.

"You okay?" She asks a little alarmed, seeing you shift your posture nervously.

You cleared your throat, nodding slowly. "It's something personal about me, that I want to share it with you, that's all." You explain the best you can.

The captain nods slowly, copying you. Her frown didn't disappear, so she sat down where you were before and patted the place next to her with a tiny smile. You obligate yourself after giving another look behind you, this time you catch Jana's eyes for a brief moment before she looks away.

"What is it?" Alexia questions softly, bottle in hand to hydrate herself.

You take a breath, making a brief pause. "It's something that I need to say without you interrupting me, okay?" You say carefully, seeing her nod with her head. Eyes on your hands, you order your mind to speak up the best you could. "Recently people are making comments about me and you, and in another moment of my life I wouldn't mind that, even I could join in teasing you, but it's not only you, it's some of them trying to set me up with someone else and I feel uncomfortable with this because the truth is that I'm in a relationship..." You see how Alexia opened her eyes, really surprised by your last confession. "I didn't tell you before because... You would be mad at me." You say in a small voice.

Alexia makes a sound, snorting quietly. "Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you? At least she supports Real Madrid..." She teases you a little, nudging your side.

You shake your head, letting out a small chuckle. "I'm in a relationship with Jana." You say in a rush, closing your eyes and not daring to see her reaction.

However, you can feel how the air changed around you two, the seconds Alexia remained silent it's a warning for you. Slowly, you opened your eyes and scanned her face. She is biting her lower lip, hard and she is looking at the floor, a tight grip on her bottle.

"At first I thought it was nothing serious..." You started to say again. "We decided to hide it for a while, but hiding it these last few months was a nightmare."

Alexia remained quiet, probably processing the new information.

"How long?" She asks quietly, still not looking at you.

"Eight months."

Then, she looks at you startled. "Eight months? Almost a year and you told me now?" You could appreciate that she is getting angry. She closed her eyes and rubbed her side, trying to calm down. "From all of the people, you date her? You are older than her."

The last words are like daggers into your soul. Her whisper felt worse than any scream she will give. You know she wouldn't approve because of that, because in her eyes, you are old to date Jana.

"It's only five years, Ale. And she is old enough to date whatever she wants. You are older than me and you date me." You said hurt, removing your gaze from her and looking at your feet.

"Only? And it's not the same. You know what?" She said, standing up looking irritated. You look up at her. "We talk another day." Then, she leaves you there alone. She stormed out inside of the building without looking back.

You sigh, defeat.

"Did you say to her that you are suspended too? Usually she put that face when I told her." You hear Vicky ask, her innocent comment put a small smile on your lips.

Looking up, you see Vicky and Jana there. Before you could answer, the defender is by your side and holds your hand. You can feel the weird look that Vicky is sending you two.

"I'm sorry..." You say in a whisper, leaning your forehead on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry too, for ignoring your calls and...-" you cut her, putting a finger on her mouth.

"It's okay." You simply say, putting away your finger.

Jana wraps an arm on your hip and kisses your head's side. "That bad?"

"I'm more afraid of losing you." You admitted, the heaviness on your chest dissipating the moment Jana joined you and held your hand.

The brunette leaves out a small smile, pecking your nose.

"ARE YOU TWO DATING?" Vicky shouts surprised.

You shared a knowing smile and turned your heads to look at her, watching how her eyes are opened like her mouth, a finger pointing in your direction.

"We are." Jana answers for you, turning your face towards her and giving you a chaste kiss on the lips. "Happy new year..."

You smiled, repeating the same words at her.

•••

The moment the team finds out about your relationship —thanks to Vicky—, they look very surprised by it. Still, they congratulate you, Patri apologising for her behaviour but with a knowing smirk for her intuition to assume you are with someone.

Leila warns you the moment Alexia closes you up, telling you that you should break up with Jana instead, but then she wishes you two the best and asks for her help to speak with your stubborn friend.

Mapi told you to leave her alone, knowing like it's her she needs time to process you are in a relationship with Jana. However, you were threatened by half of the team if you break Jana's heart, led by the Aragonese.

The days passed and Jana started to understand why you wanted to keep your relationship in secret. She never experienced how cold Alexia could be towards her, only talking to her when it is necessary or made a hard remark during training. Maybe you are more special to her than she thought, or maybe the gap age is a problem for the captain.

Some of her teammates are on her side, giving her reassuring comments. Ingrid and Patri take the roles to keep around every time Alexia and Jana are too close.

The brunette swore that her frowned was deeper that morning than any other day.

Jana didn't want to tell you anything, even if she knew that you figured out what would happen the moment Alexia discovered. But she had enough of her behaviour towards her, so she decided to confront her captain when this one made a mordant comment.

"Can you just tell me whatever you think about me and move on?" Jana asks in a firm tone, tired of Alexia's mood.

Mapi elbowed her side in a warning, the changing room went quiet the moment she spoke. Alexia's eyes were glued to her teammate, a little surprise could be appreciated on her features that soon she hardened and put on a stoic face.

"We love each other, it's not that difficult to understand." Jana presses on when Alexia tries to exit the big room. She crossed her arms on her chest and ignored when some whispered her name, seeing Alexia turn around slowly.

"You think you love her," The blonde hissed in a quiet voice, stepping towards her position. "but it's only a crush. A stupid and pathetic one. And you two commit the big mistake of your lives."

Jana hardened her features, pushing Alexia's chest with force the moment she finished. "The same you commit with her?" She shouts, feeling very angry with the midfielder.

She feels how someone pulls her behind, Mapi's back in front of her and puts herself like a shield. Irene went to hold Alexia's arm warningly when she makes the feint to get closer.

"I understand now why she didn't want to tell you anything! Because you are so inflexible you couldn't see that we are more than numbers." Jana grumbled, stepping away from there and slamming the door.

Alexia avoided everyone's stare, feeling a little embarrassed. Irene patted her back and muttered that she could help her.

She just nod.

•••

You were furious when you found out how Alexia treated Jana. You knew that she was hurt by you, but you have your reasons to do that and she didn't prove different from what you thought it would turn out.

Mariona tells you everything when you catch how your friend was acting a little weird around you, she begged you to not tell anything because if Jana found out you knew, the person who told her would be in problems.

So you didn't say anything and acted normal when your girlfriend called you two days later, wishing that she mentioned something, but the last thing she wanted to do is worrying you.

"Can you just drop everything and come here with me?" Jana asks in a dramatic sigh, making you laugh a little. "I mean it, I miss you."

"Why didn't you drop everything and come here?" You ask now, hearing her hold her breath and mutter that it's not the same.

"Barcelona is better, amor you know it. We have the sun, good weather, food... And the best club in the world." You can't hold the laugh for her reasoning, hearing her soft protest when she hears you, still you are sure she has a wide smile hearing you.

"I remind you that you almost got transferred last season." You hummed, parking the car in the garage and turning off the engine. You stay there, leaning your back comfortably.

"Shut up." The defender mutters, hearing how she is cutting some vegetables in the background. "The girls are coming now, they joined me the moment they found out what I was having for lunch."

"The girls means Patri inviting herself and a few more, no?" You ask knowingly, laughing quietly when Jana hummed an affirmative. "Everything okay there?" You dared to ask gently, starting to play with your nails.

She didn't answer right away, Jana took a moment to do so. Realising a small breathing, Jana speaks up. "It could be better, but it's okay. At least the cold stare stopped." She answers you in a quiet voice, you could perceive a hint of sadness in her tone.

It's affecting her more than she showed, Alexia is very important to Jana, being there on her lower point to reassure her when she needed it the most. It is someone that Jana looks up to, someone she asked for advice and considered someone special.

You are the problem that Alexia didn't want anything with her, and you are thinking seriously to intervene.

"I can go this Friday after the match and spend the weekend together. Would you like it?" You say in a thinking voice, remembering what you need to do the rest of the week.

"Are you kidding!? Yes please, I can't wait to see your pretty face in person again!" Jana excitedly says, putting a smile on your face when you hear her cheerful voice come back.

You end the call when the girls approach Jana's flat, promising her to call later that day.

Then, scroll through the chat names until you find the one you wanted to text.

I'm going this weekend, do you want to talk?

•••

You didn't receive a reply from Alexia, she read it but that's all you obtained from her. You didn't say anything to Jana, wanting her to have some freedom from what is happening.

Smiling, you see how Jana approaches the barrier where the family area is, jumping it up and running towards you thrown herself into your arms.

"Miss me?" You whisper in her ear, Jana wrapped her legs around your waist.

Jana puts her face in front of you and kisses you, both hands on your cheeks. Some whistles were heard, others commenting to go elsewhere.

"Shut up Claudia! When you have a girlfriend you will understand." Jana replied to her teammate, jumping down and intertwining her hand with yours. "Come, amor. I want you to meet Kika properly." She pulls from your hand and leads the way where her Portuguese friend is.

"Hi." You greet, waving with your free hand and smile.

Kika showed a wide smile, surprising you and hugging you making Jana whine a little because she was holding your hand and let it go when her teammate hugged you.

"You can live for a few seconds without holding her hand." Kika teases her friend, separating from you but remaining closer. "I'm finally meeting you. You are guilty of why Jana here keeps smiling without reason this whole time..." Kika reacts in time before Jana's hand meets her arm, smirking towards the defender. "She is pretty." She said to Jana like if you weren't there.

"I know." Jana says proudly, wrapping now an arm on your hip. Her smile widened when her eyes met your face, kissing your cheek softly. "Do you mind if I let you be with her while I'm going to change? Promise I don't take too long."

You nod, saving your hands on your pockets for the cold outside. Jana walked towards the changing room with Bruna and Marta, letting you alone with the smiling striker.

"You are the one they couldn't stop teasing Alexia, right?" Her question surprised you a little, it's bold on her part but you don't catch any intention behind her words. "Sorry, it's just curiosity."

Laughing quietly, you shrugged. "Maybe... I guess it changed, didn't it?" You ask gently, watching how the brunette nod with a sympathetic smile. "Hopefully it didn't affect the dynamic group." You referred to Alexia's mood on her new discovering you let her know.

"Sometimes, but don't worry. I think she is scared." Her words produce your curiosity, Kika shrugged and looked mindlessly around. "She cares too much for the people she loves, I think she needs time, that's all." She finished looking at you, giving you a warm gaze.

The Portuguese read Alexia very well these months that she is knowing her, not everyone could do that easily.

"Also you are hot, I would probably hit on you if I didn't know that you are dating Jana." Her smirk reveals mischievous, laughing when she sees your red face. "I would like to say I'm kidding, but I'm not." She says honestly, brushing her shoulder with yours.

You shake your head, leaning next to her. "I sense you are a Patri 2.0."

Kika snort. "I'm better." Her comment gives the affirmative you needed to confirm your theory.

While you two waited for Jana, you decided to ask her a little about herself. With the minutes passing some of them join you, Ona leaning her back on your front, not caring about wetting that zone with her hair.

"I am starting to think that you all are doing that on purpose." You comment, her hair brushing your cheek and creating an unpleasant sensation when the cold air hits your wet skin.

"Told you." Ona hummed to Patri, smirking knowingly.

You groan, not understanding your friends.

"You know who is drying her hair?" Patri looks at you teasingly, smirking. "Alexia." You open your eyes, not waiting for that name. Since you know her, she never does that, only rolls her eyes at you every time you mention it.

And like an invocation, the mentioned approach, coming out of the building with both hands on her pockets walking next to Caro. You noticed how she slowed her steps when the Norwegian came to your side, pushing Ona gently and hugging you.

"Never thought to watch you be affectionate with someone." Ona muttered, putting herself next to Kika.

Caro showed her middle finger to the defender and remained by your side after the hug, Alexia kept a distance from you, standing now behind Patri. From time to time, her eyes landed on yours and she removed her gaze to look away.

"Hey, Jana! Can I date her if you two break up?" Kika asks loudly when see her friend step towards the small group.

Jana frowns deepens, her steps faltering for a moment when she catches Alexia between them. The comment didn't bother her, she just put herself next to Caro and muttered that never would happen in a quiet voice, smirking at Kika.

Your eyes meet hers, seeing how they become soft and with a simple gesture of her head, ask silently if everything is okay.

It hurts you to have Alexia closer and feel the coldness irradiated towards your presence, you can feel how uncomfortable she becomes the moment Jana joined, the comment Kika made didn't help.

The group started to dissolve, Kika and Ona are joining you two to have lunch together. Biting your lip, you space out from the conversation they are making and follow Alexia's path towards her car. After you make up your mind, you mutter at them that you meet them in Jana's car and jog towards the midfielder, feeling all their eyes on you, especially your girlfriend's.

"Are you so stubborn to leave it to ruin our friendship?" You ask in a bold manner, making Alexia stop her steps. You stopped behind her, tilting your head aside watching how the Catalan turned to look at you with serious expression.

"Me? You are guilty too, don't forget." Alexia muttered bitterly, however she leans her back on her car and crossed her arms, eyes half closed for the sun fixed on you.

You swallowed.

Taking the opportunity Alexia is giving, you step slowly towards her, letting some space between you two.

"For being in a relationship with your teammate?" You ask, seeing how her jaw clenched and eyes turned to the pavement briefly.

"It's not that..." You mutter, some exasperation showing on her face. "You are dating Jana. For eight months." She points a finger towards you, some of her pain showing up. Her voice turned low. "You can date whatever you want, but Jana from all of the people?" She finished shaking her head weakly, putting down her hand and hiding it in her pocket.

Then, something in your mind brightened with the answer. Alexia is mad at you because Jana is like a little sister that she saw growing up through all these years and before her eyes, Jana always will be her kind kid. And you are her ex-lover, older than Jana and someone who could break her heart.

You lowered your gaze, biting your lip hard. "What we had Ale, was special and broke up because we see each other like friends." You paused, swallowed and continued in a low voice. "I can't promise you what will happen in the future with us... I want to risk it. I understand why you are afraid, you care about her. Shit, Alexia. I love her." You said messily, raising your eyes up to look at her.

You can't decipher Alexia's expression, she is looking at you but remaining neutral. Nodding with your head to yourself, remove a strand of hair from your face and mutter a goodbye, turning around defeated.

"I care about you two."

Her whisper was clear and loud, stopping you. Interrupted only by her car's door opening and closing quickly.

You come back a little better, Jana got out of the car when she saw you, wrapping you in a bear hug and kissing your head lovingly.

•••

You are out of breath for two reasons.

First, Jana is very entertained with her head buried in your tights, only raising her face up when a sound next to your two interrupted the moment. And secondly when you read the name, not waiting at all the call.

You muttered that you would call them later, pressing your phone with the screen down and laying your head on the pillow, feeling the light feather kisses Jana spread through your skin before she comes back to give you pleasure.

But you are out.

Your body is reacting, but your mind trapped you with Alexia's call. After a few minutes Jana stopped and leaned her head on your raised leg, looking at you.

Blushing, you spotted some liquid on part of her nose and chin, glistening her lips.

"Who called you?" She asks gently, noticing your lack of interest. She didn't sound mad, a finger tracing your hip's bone.

You push your hair aside, rubbing your forehead before answering her. "Alexia."

Her finger stopped, the heaviness of her gaze on your face. She changed her posture and lay next to you, scowling and letting out a comment about how she has a radar to interrupt, remembering that it happened in the past.

You turn to look at her, brushing your fingers on her hand and locking them together. Her brown eyes softened when she looked at you back, her features relaxing by it.

"It's a good signal she called, right?"

Jana leaves out a sigh, her thumb rubbing your skin. "I guess."

Your phone sounded again, this time indicating someone sent a text. You look doubtful at your girlfriend, this one half lies on your side when she catches your phone, extending it with a knowing look.

"You should see what she wants." She simply says, pecking your lips and standing up, leaving the taste of yourself on the curves of your lips.

Seeing how she disappears in the bathroom, you unblock your phone and read the text without going into the chat.

Do you want to talk? I can pick you up.

Her text is direct, letting you know that it is you who wanted to resolve the situation first.

You communicate to Jana what she typed you, she comes back to the bedroom with any trace of yourself on her face, removing it when she takes a quick shower.

Jana nods, nudging your arm gently. Her naked form lays on top of you, whispering that finally Alexia is thinking. You two shared a soft chuckle, she kissed repeatedly your lips before letting you go out of the bed.

You text Alexia back when you are ready, burrowing Jana a sweater and a jean alongside a snickers. Your girlfriend gives you a knowing look, the corner of her lips turning up when she sees you on her clothes.

Jana's, right? I'm on my way.

You typed a quick text, blushing. Of course she knew where you would be. You got out of Jana's apartment hearing how she sleepily wishes you luck, you smile to yourself and step down, seeing the Cupra parked on the side of the road.

"Hey." You greet once inside, hiding part of your face on your jacket, the only piece of clothes that is yours. The calefaction welcomed you and you felt glad.

Alexia hummed a greeting, starting to drive. The way is silent between you two, only broken for the radio's songs playing in a low volume. You know where she is driven, her flat. Giving her a quick look, you assumed she was elsewhere before she picked you up.

You don't find the silence uncomfortable, at least not this time. She shifted to the right corner and drove to the garage, parking on her signed spot.

The whole journey from the lift to her apartment was charged with nervousness for both parts, still the silence is present. It's a little stupid because you two have enough trust in each other to have this behaviour now.

You cleared your throat and trailed towards her couch, rejecting some drink she offered you. Nala came to lick your face happily, her tail couldn't stop moving and she gave little jumps on her spot, making you laugh.

"She missed you." Alexia says behind you, freeing herself from her jacket.

"I miss her too." You announced, Nala on your arms with her tongue out, looking at her owner.

Alexia patted Nala's fur, stepping to her couch and releasing a sigh when she sat down. Nala moves on your arms and you free her, seeing how she jumped on Alexia's lap.

You step towards the couch once you put your jacket on the coat stand, your steps are a little awkward. When you sit down, leaving a small space between you two you could see a smug smirk playing on Alexia's lip.

"I don't bite." She hummed, looking at you raising an eyebrow.

You scoff. "Are you sure?"

She shrugged, still smirking. "I only bit you a long time ago, and you see very well by it."

Your choke on your saliva when she said that, the warmth of your face increases in seconds. You hear how Alexia chuckles quietly next to you, muttering she is kidding.

"This is going to be our first conversation?" You ask, the apartment filled with Alexia's laughs.

A soft smile stays in her mouth, hand going up and down for Nala's sides while an arm hung loosely behind her head, eyes fixed on you.

"My mom says hi..." Alexia says quietly, almost a little shy.

You smiled, it's not strange for you that if she is talking to you now it is because her mother would be involved.

"How many times did she tell you to speak with me?"

She released a sigh, muttering a few times under her breath, making you chuckle by that confession.

"I have been thinking..." She starts, looking distracted the TV turned off. "How did you start with her? You commented that it started like something casual." The last part sounded a little uncomfortable, shifting her position on the couch.

Playing with your hands, leaves out a sigh. "Last winter in camp. I never connected with her before more than that winter. She came from a break up and saw her a little sad, so I recommend her to come with some of us to party when the camp is over. Before me she had a few girls screaming her name," you laugh when Alexia yelps and puts a hand in front of your face, begging you to not say anything. "Okay, I'm not going to give details. We kissed and the casual thing started. Then, it turned into something serious and we agreed to maintain a secret relationship." You resume.

"You fall for her?" Alexia asks lowly after a pause.

You nod. "I think it is impossible not to fall for Jana, friendly or romantically. She has this aura to attract people, more when you know her personally." You admitted. "Everyone needs a Jana in their lives."

Alexia tilted her head, watching you smile to yourself. From the time she knows you, she never sees you in this state. Even when you two dated.

"I'm sorry." The Catalan says abruptly, surprising you. Licking her lips, Alexia leaves out a sigh. "I'm sorry to react that way, and I'm sorry you guessed that I reacted like that. I don't know why, but I'm watching you now and I see what you have with Jana is real for the way you speak about her."

"I think you owe her an apology more than me." You say softly, seeing how your friend nods slowly. "She is hurt for how you treat these days. She didn't say anything to me, but you know I have my ways to find out. I know how you are Ale, I'm not mad at you. But you are a role model for her, someone to look up and say I want to be like her. You are an inspiration for many people, but especially for some of your own team."

Alexia puts Nala to the other side of the couch, closing the distance between you two she throws her arms around your form, muttering apologies and repeating she is stupid.

You know she got emotional and didn't want you to see like that.

•••

"Together?"

"Together." You answer, pocking your tongue out to her.

Jana laughs and splashes your face with her bottle making you gasp, her laugh intensifying. You run towards her but she moves quickly and starts to run away, you chasing her.

"They seem very happy." Patri comments when she stepped next to Alexia, who watched the interaction between you two.

Alexia has her arms crossed, half eyes closed because the sun is hitting her face. She waited for Patri to leave another comment, feeling how her friend put an arm on her shoulder.

"Jana 1, Alexia 0." And there it is.

Patri starts to laugh when Alexia gives her a warning look, the Balear raised both hands in the air. "Just kidding."

"We thought that you two would be together again after your break up." Claudia approaches them by their left side, eyes on you too.

Alexia knitted her eyebrows, regretting so much to share the relationship with you with them.

"They are cute." Aitana joined them, watching how you chased her and lifted Jana from the ground, a fit of laughter escaping from her mouth.

"Yeah... Until we start to hear weird noises coming from her bedroom." Patri says, all heads turned to look at her. The horror in Alexia's face was enough for the midfielder to run away while she laughed hard.

"The moment she is with someone, tell me." Alexia mutters to Claudia after removing Patri's comment from her head. She can't wait to tease her friend when she meets someone special.

"Gladly." Claudia smirks.

Now Jana has both arms around your waist, looking at you with an enamored face while you sip from her bottle.

"Also we need to keep that two away at night." Alexia tells them, hearing how Aitana and Claudia share a laugh by her comment.

[alexiabae]

So grateful to be able to read your fics and the way you write, can't believe english is not your first language. So talented, mate. I can read your fics for hours .Requesting more of jana fernandez fic please 🥺.

Thank you so much, I'm blushing!🫣 If I'm being honest, I'm not good with compliments, so thank you, anon!

And you are lucky, the next one is about Jana too! 😊

[alexiabae]

https://www.tumblr.com/alexiabae/783668548012785664/shiver-jana-fern%C3%A0ndez-x-femreader?source=share

You are back and I am the happiest to see your post., hope you are doing well ^⁠_⁠^

Thanks🥺💜

[alexiabae]

https://www.tumblr.com/alexiabae/783668548012785664/shiver-jana-fern%C3%A0ndez-x-femreader?source=share

Thank you for writing for jana. There are not many fics of her and she is my favourite player. Thank you again 💐💐💐

Thank you for reading it, hope you liked😊

[alexiabae]

Oh how I missed your writing. This was so fantastic and amazing to read 🩵

Ohhh🥺 thank you so much for your words. I'm glad you liked it.💜

[alexiabae]

SHIVER | jana fernàndez x fem!reader

Summary: in which you hear first before you see her.

Warnings: shy!reader (like always), very awkward, fluff, different pov, slow burn, very long, mistakes.

Note: good luck.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

Your eyes shine admiring the building in front of you.

The blue sky is greeting the sun slowly, making their appearance to greet this part of the city. It seems too that it wanted you to welcome your first day to the facility to take your first training session.

Taking a breath, your order to your mind to move your feet, holding very tight the strap of your gym bag. When you enter there, you try to remind the indications the staff team gives when they show you the training facilities. Greeting the people working there, you turn a few corners to direct yourself towards the changing room, where some noise was heard with every step you approach the closed door.

Closing your eyes momentarily, you knocked on the door a few times, holding now with both hands the strap. You heard some noise and someone yelled a word that you didn't understand, so after a few seconds the red door opened, a tall blonde showed in your vision, her serious expression turning into a soft smile, making you feel a little calmer with that gesture.

"You are the new! Welcome to the jungle!" She said, shortening the small distance between you two and giving you a warm hug, hearing how she leaves a small laugh. "Sorry, I guess I get used to greeting like that. I'm Frido." She said after separating from the hug, still smiling.

You whisper your name, repeating it a little louder when you realise that she probably didn't listen to you the first time. Frido squeezes your side and guides you inside, a small group of people are gathered in a corner while they are speaking between them, shutting up when they notice you and all their eyes are you.

You feel like you are going to pass out for the attention.

"Girls, our new acquisition." Frido says, standing next to you.

After a few seconds of silence, they start to greet you with smiles on their faces, shocking you a little when they all hug you, asking in broken Spanish accent how are you.

"Where are you from?" Aitana asks you, eyebrows knitted in curiosity while her eyes scan your face.

You cleared your throat, loosening the grip on your strap. "I'm from Greece." You answer shortly, but with a sheepish smile directed towards the brunette.

You see how she opened her eyes, like some of them. It seems that they never have a Greek teammate until now.

"Really? That's cool." Salma, the same stature as Frido, says.

Before they could keep talking, Marta interrupted them and told them to ask you later, then she proceeded to show your assigned seat there, telling you if you have some doubts, all you need is to ask.

You thanked her, pulling off your gym bag to the floor and sitting down, you try to not freak to be surrounded by a bunch of talented players while you change your shoes. However you fear the moment the whole team would be gathered together, making this dream more real.

A loud laugh was interrupted in the changing room, making you look up while you tied your laces. Two people entered there, the shortest one is looking at the taller one, beaming at something that only they knew. One of whom was there before, called the attention of the shortest one, her attention now on a different person. You come back to tie your laces, taking a mental note to learn the new language.

A shadow passes in front of you, again raising your head up and catching just in time how the cheerful girl looks at you curiously, but keeping her way to her assigned spot. You don't keep looking at her because you feel another presence on your left side, the other person who comes with her is standing next to you, sitting on the free spot and smiling at you when she notices your eyes on her.

"I'm Ingrid." She says softly, almost in a quiet tone. She greets you differently, stretching a hand out to you.

Blushing, you accept her hand and shake it for a few seconds, giving your name once again. Before some of you could speak again, you feel movement to your right side, the girl that came with Ingrid is sitting next to you.

With curious eyes, she says something but you can't answer back because you didn't understand her.

"She said that she thought you could come tomorrow, not today." Ingrid translated gently, opening her gym bag and grabbing a pair shoes.

Taking you for surprise, the tattoo girl wrapped an arm around your shoulder and gave you a smile. "At the end of the season, that shyness wouldn't exist anymore. Also, I'm Mapi." She didn't remove her arm, only stretch her free hand towards you.

You shake it, not knowing what to say after introducing yourself. It seems that she didn't care because only chuckled at herself by your reaction, ruffling your hair and not caring to mess up your tied ponytail. A soft warning of her name by your left, made Mapi gives you an apology that she doesn't seem to feel sorry about her action.

Someone ran inside of the changing room, slamming the door open while she yelled something that you couldn't catch for your lack of Spanish. Your breath catches on your throat when you notice who she is, eyes opening without believing that this is happening. It seems that today you couldn't stop blushing and the training even started, her hazel eyes landed on you.

You look away, shyly. Hearing a soft laugh by your side, your blush deepened, not daring to look at Mapi.

"You are like her." Mapi says in a smug way, lowering her voice. Still with her arm around you, she yells the name of the person who entered. "¿Viniendo tarde en el día que nuestro fichaje empieza? Que vergüenza." You didn't understand, but you can feel the playful and mischievous tone of her voice.

Laughing filled the room, a plus to the beforehand when some of them start to whistle at the one who arrived.

"Cállate." The new voice says, embarrassment filling her voice. You dared to look at her way and you see how she starts to walk towards your way. Your eyes meet again and her features change, giving you a sheepish smile. "Sorry... There is traffic to come here, weird because it rarely happens but today happened." She explains quickly, her smile is erased soon, holding the strap of her gym bag tightly. "I can give you a quick explanation now and when the training is over give you more details." She said in a rushed tone, her cheeks turning red, matching yours.

Marta yells something from the other side of the changing room before you could give an answer. Whatever she said makes the blonde relax her posture, looking back at you with a more relaxed gesture.

She extends a hand, just like Ingrid, and introduces herself like if you didn't know who she is, external to the repercussions she is making in this sport.

Shyly, you shake her hand while you stand up, muttering your name. You wanted to say out loud how you admire her, but it seems that you are doing both of your favours if you remain quiet.

Alexia nods imperceptibly, letting your hand go. Another comment from behind you makes the blonde narrow her eyes, muttering something directed to her way.

Awkwardly, you sit down again and rummage through your gym bag, letting the two banter without you being in the middle. You try not to look too much at Alexia, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Your attention is removed from the pair of friends when big loud noises are heard outside, Alexia turns on her heels after she hears it and with fast steps she goes outside. There are a few voices together, giving some incoherent words or at least it's how it sounded to you. But it calls your attention a raspy one, you don't know the meaning of her words but you swore you can stay listening to them at any moment. Your trance is interrupted by the laugh from the group outside, some of them calling Alexia's name when she enters back, cheeks very red and throwing her gym back to the floor with force.

Your curiosity won this time and your eyes remain on the door, wanting to see and guess the owner of that raspy voice.

One by one start to go inside, greeting them cheerfully and sorting people through their place, you lie to yourself if you don't scream internally when you recognise them, mainly when Patri Guijarro walks in and walks towards the blonde who is wearing —now— a scowl on her face while she changes if shoes. You feel special admiration for that player.

Two of them walked side by side, wearing wide smiles on. You don't know why but you blush when your eyes landed on the short brunette, laughing at something that you didn't know because your attention is fully on her, her smile illuminated her face and you hear her voice, blushing deeply and making yourself remove your gaze from her.

"¡Una cara nueva!"

This comment sounds just in front of you, making you swallow your new thoughts and shyness and look up. Her blue eyes shine with mischief, but a warm smile approaches her round face, not letting your time to stand up and greet properly she leans on and gives you a brief hug, introducing herself in English with a very Spanish accent, something you notice with the Spaniards before her who introduced to you.

Claudia nods excitedly with her head when you introduce yourself, sitting in front of you, not minding your shyness.

The next one is Cata, giving an affectionate -but hard- pat on your shoulder after giving another hug like the others. She is very loud, it is the first thing you notice about her, however her amicable words make you feel warm.

Mapi says something that made the changing room laugh, a playful smile playing on her lips when you look at her confused, but guessing when once again the brunette next to you reprimands her.

"She is the most annoying of us." It was the first thing that Patri told you, opening her arms and wrapping you in a warm hug. This time you are standing up, previously when you introduce yourself to Cata, you wish to be sitting because you are so shocked by this. "I do not bite." Patri tells you, separating herself from the hug but remaining both hands about your shoulders, the smile as Mapi showing on. She rubbed your shoulders gently, winking at you once you recovered a little and muttered your name and gave you a last side hug, sitting next to Claudia.

You forget momentarily that there are a few of them that still haven't met, a different accent wakes you up when she approached you.

Kika Nazareth's smile seems like it is her second nature, easy, light and gentle to unknowns and a fresh air to the ones who know her, or that is your guess. You like to guess people's behaviours. She offered to ask her anything, she came here last season and knew how to be new in a new place. Nodding, you murmur that you will count on that.

And then it is the shortest of all of them, a smile that for you, wins Kika's by far. Her ponytail is tidy, like yours before Mapi decided the contrary, the warmth of her brown eyes looking at you with every step towards you makes you feel shaking with anticipation, hopefully you are doing it internally and not showing it, because you would look very pathetic. Most, you mean.

She introduced herself, the raspy of her voice a little more pronounced in the change of the language. And just like Patri, she envelopes both arms around your body, briefly but enough for you to be wrapped around her citric perfume, and the smell of coconut of her hair embracing your nostrils. You hug her awkwardly, she is still wearing her gym bag with herself and didn't know how to put your arms properly.

It is a brief introduction, but the only one who you chose.

Jana.

You ask yourself how someone could smile with her eyes when you come back to sit down, grabbing your cleats on your hand.

A pat on your thigh warned you to look up.

"Let's go to training, kid." Mapi instructed, standing up and making you frown.

"I'm 24." You said.

Mapi looks at you raising an eyebrow, fixing her bun blindly while tilting her head. "And? You are still a kid."

Ingrid catches your eye when you look around confused, making her chuckle a little by your reaction. "You will get used to it." She said, standing up and offering you a hand.

You can't wait.

•••

You are marvelled by everything, it's true that it's your first training that requires a lot of you and you notice it at the first moment. An hour later there is a brief interruption, a teammate came late because she had a problem with her car.

She introduced herself to you when she spotted you when Mapi —who still didn't leave your side— called her. With a nod to your way, Ona jogged quickly to join immediately to the squad.

Some of the staff team tends you a pulsometer, you grab it and inspect carefully, it's the first time you would wear it. Unfortunately, your last team couldn't handle these types of things, but I least you learn other things in exchange.

"Need help?" Alexia approaches you, signalling with her finger the pulsometer.

You nod slowly, blushing a little. "It's the first time I'm going to wear one of these..." You admitted, watching with curiosity how the captain helps you.

Far away from judging you, Alexia gives you a tiny smile. "It's not been too much since we started to wear it too." She confesses in a quiet voice, remaining by your side with both hands on her hips, waiting for the coach to instruct you what to do.

Your breath gets more heavy with every exercise, reminding you that it's what you want when momentarily tell yourself that you can't anymore.

You came at the end of the summer, being the only signing that Barcelona made. You know they can't afford too much right now, you don't blame them for being a “cheap” signing, but they saw something in you to be here, and that's enough for you to force yourself to learn, control your breath and become someone thanks to them.

Your chest is burning the moment the coach ends the last training of the morning, thanking Aitana when she tends you Gatorade, you take a long sip.

Thinking about what you made in the exercises, you are pleasantly surprised to keep going with all of them, sure you commit some mistakes at the start but fix them correctly the second time. Sometimes you receive some comments from the coach, gently not hard and maybe it helps you.

The coach decided to do a game, the only purpose is to have some fun.

You walk slowly to the group, stepping between Caro and Esmee, this one gives you a small smile when she sees you.

"¿Por qué las personas tímidas siempre acabáis juntas?" Mapi shows herself in front of you three, eyebrows knitted while she keeps looking at you.

You heard how the blonde next to you leaves out a soft groan. "She said that why shy people always stand together." Caro explains to you when you turn to look at her.

Mapi gives you a smug look, turning her back at you three crossing her arms on her chest. You don't mind that type of comment, you know she didn't say it to annoy you, only to have fun.

The game consistency is one try to hide the ball and the other defend to the other and don't let them score. Simple and to have some laughs mainly. You have five minutes, to don't make the game longer.

You hold the Gatorade between your hands, your breathing coming normal again. You heard some banter, loudly exclaiming in happy tones.

However Mapi turns to you three again, her eyes fixed on you. "Want to play with me?" Her tone of voice is lowered, but she sounded like a kid and some way makes you laugh quietly for her behaviour when she asks you.

You nod, making Mapi squeals happily while raising a hand up for you to palm her. You do that, her child behaviour showing one more time and coming back to look at the front when the first ones would play the first round.

Kika and Irene.

Everyone cheered, some cheering Kika. You know why, you remember that she suffered a long injury missing the whole season and the Euro tournament, she started training with the squad last month and since it's a chill game, Kika could play it.

You clapped, putting the Gatorade under your arm. Somehow through the game your eyes advertised to the cheering group, your chest tightened one more time that day when you see how Jana is one of the loudest, alongside Cata and Salma. Her ponytail is a little untidy, face a little flushed by the effort from before, the same smile she wore the whole morning opening more, sometimes she clapped.

It's when the whole squad screams that you broke the visual with the brunette and notice that Kika scored, winning the first round.

The moment approaching your turn makes you a little nervous, making you think that they would see how you play, or at least show your style. You are a midfielder, a pure one someone told you when you trained one time at summer in an academy in London. Still, you are surrounded by literally two winners of the Ballon D'Or, twice. It would be very difficult to shine among them.

You heard your name when Mapi exclaimed that it is your turn. Seeing the one who played to the right side and the ones who still didn't remain on the left, you notice that Jana still didn't play and mentally cheered, you want to see her play.

Surrounded by some cheers, some of them cheer your name, Mapi playfully lands an arm around your shoulders, muttering that she is going to win this round, letting you go to put on her position.

You put in front of her, breath shaking a little while you try to deaf your pulse on your ears. Putting both hands on your knees, Pere whistle and throwing the ball to the middle, Mapi winning the first touch and keeping the ball between her feet, her body shielding you from the ball.

Trying to steal it from her feet, Mapi shows you why she is a defender. You push her a little to destabilise her, but it was in vain, the brunette remains on the spot without moving an inch. She started to tease you a little, even showing a side grin to your way to keep you at bay.

You concentrate on yourself, remembering what the coach teaches at the kids at the start when they need to defend. If they are hard, you are double hard, unstoppable. Controlling your breath, in your third try to sneak your foot between her legs you manage to push it a little away from her, making Mapi move quickly to hide again from you. But you push your body with force, this time you move her a few centimetres, enough for you to kick the ball away from her and sprint, making it difficult to reach the ball because the defender shoves her body towards you, her hand on your arm to keep you controlled. Both of your feet collided with the other, pushing more the ball.

Mapi is pressing very hard on you, making it difficult for you to reach the ball. You both are near the right line, her hand is in your kit holding in place. You don't know how, but you pull with all your force away from her and sprint to the ball and go a little away with it between your feet, checking through your shoulder to see that Mapi run to her position again, this time to defend you.

You are out of breath, panting. Sweat rolling for your forehead, running through your cheeks. You stop with the ball under your foot, once again trying to compose yourself and decide what to do but not letting the opportunity to attack you because you are doubting. Advancing a few steps with the ball in your right foot, your eyes fixed on Mapi's body, who are ready to approach you at any moment.

It's your turn to show your back at her, hiding the ball from her when she tries to steal it from you. You can hear her breath in your ear, body press towards you while she keeps pushing. You don't know how she keeps speaking, you wanted to answer her but can't, you still didn't learn how to do that. In a moment Mapi reached to touch the ball, moving it a few centimetres away from you, but you reacted quickly and made a roulette to put the ball away from her, running a few centimetres towards her goal but she stops you at time, pushing your body but not enough to destabilise to control the ball.

She manages to put herself in front of you, attacking with her feet to steal the ball, but you hide it, giving a few steps back with the ball under your foot. She attacks a few times and you the same, until she decides to attack you twice and you manage to risk yourself and pass the ball to your other foot and give you an auto pass, making another roulette when you reach the ball again, knowing she is behind you. Still, Mapi holds your kit again and stops you a little, at this moment both of you have less force to show. Her body comes back pressing against you, not wasting any opportunities to take the ball away from you.

Abruptly you stop, ball under your right foot. Mapi steps a few centimetres ahead of you, making you turn back and make her think that you choose the other way. You heard how she leaves a groan, reacting in time to chase you again but then, you keep the same way as before and you manage to kick the ball to the goal, it's not the best you kick, but you can't afford to do it properly.

Mapi runs chasing the ball, throwing herself to stop it but fortunately for you, the ball only grazes the tip of her boot and goes in because she can't impact with enough force you pull it in another direction.

Smiling tiredly, you see how Mapi remains on the turf, arms sprawled while supporting her knees up, chest going up and down, just like you.

There is a loud cheer when you come back to reality, out of breath you see how all of them are clapping, some of them chanting your name.

"Never again." You feel Mapi next to you again, not like before, but remaining at the same pace as you. Her voice is shaky, a murmur, eyes fixed on the front. You can appreciate the veins on her forehead showing.

You fear how you would look right now. You lowered your body to reach the Gatorade you put there before and gave a big gulp, offering the bottle to Mapi when you finished.

Ingrid is the first to approach you when you both reach the group, commenting how nice it was to witness that duel. The brunette pat your shoulder in an affectionate way before she remains by Mapi's side. There are a few of them who commented how impressive there was, Alexia gives you a nod of her head with a smile that says something but you don't understand. You nod back, hopefully giving a smile and no other thing.

You sit down on the ground, next to Patri who called you to put yourself next to her and Claudia. The last one gives a banana, you thanked her and took a bite, the flavour giving you a different taste.

If you were calm, you probably would pass out to sit down next to Patri.

The next ones are the last two remaining, Jana and Caro. You carefully watch the duel, somehow marvelled by the forward showing her skills and impressed how Jana keeps with a composure and not backed down by the person in front of her.

While you all keep watching, Mapi lays her back on Patri's legs, gaining a reproach by her but remaining in the same posture. Claudia starts to comment with Vicky, the young player who winked at you when you approached before and high five with her.

"You are coming with us." This comment makes you blink, your eyes going away from the two players keeping the ball and looking at the defender to your left, her focus entirely in front.

"If that's okay with you." Ingrid add on when she sees your face, her voice is gentle.

You nod slowly, assuming they are referring to having lunch with them and they wanted you there.

Mapi shows you a teasing grin, like a mischievous kid who made something they don't supposedly do.

Caro won the duel.

The brunette lowered both hands to her knees, recuperating from what happened. Caro pat Jana's back softly, a sheepish smile on her flushed face.

You watch closely the interaction with the rest of their teammates when they approach, all of you coming back to the changing rooms.

•••

"How are your legs going?"

Mapi asks you, leaning on the kitchen island while pinching with her fork on her salad.

You swallow, taking a small sorb from your cup before you decide to answer. "I don't feel them." You muttered the truth, hearing how the pair shared a knowing laugh.

"It's normal at the start... It would be better if you started in the preseason, it could be hard now... But you can handle this, I'm sure." Mapi says, throwing a piece of bread into her mouth and looking at you.

You shrugged, feeling a little unsure.

Her hand landed on your shoulder, squeezing it. "I don't know how you are feeling right now, but somehow everyone felt it at some point. We know where you came from, we don't judge of course, and we know too that it can be difficult for you since... You came from a small league and there are less professional teams, and maybe you are going to take some time to fit into the squad," she paused, thinking her next words. Ingrid looks at her with expectant eyes, fork hanging near the plate. "There are mistakes that you commit, which you fix pretty fast in my opinion. That's good, you are a good learner... But I see your face through the training and... You look amazed by everything they sent us, even the boring ones that we pray to not do more than necessary, you make them eager to learn." It's weird to hear Mapi speaking in a serious tone, gentleness pooling on her gaze while their eyes remain on you. "You can with this, chica."

Maybe it's too soon for the defender to say much more and choose to say what you need to hear. Maybe Mapi is more observed than you think and she reassured you what you fear to show them.

You nod, feeling the soft squeeze on your shoulder before the defender comes back to finish her plate, her childish behaviour coming back while she starts to tease Ingrid for something that you don't understand, but the brunette face showed her annoyance, making you paint a real tired and relaxed smile.

Today there is double training, and since you stayed at Mapi's and Ingrid's place, they take you there with them. Meanwhile the training arrived, you played some card games while they asked you to meet you a little, Ingrid sometimes stopped Mapi when she thought Mapi asked too many questions and personal ones.

"I need to ask her because I need to protect her from people, even if she is already with someone!"

You laugh a little by her dramatic answer when Ingrid pinches her leg in warning, her green eyes showing you an apology.

Once there again, trailing behind the couple, you see how Patri, Claudia and Cata join you, the Balear midfielder throwing an arm around your shoulders while with a smug smile say something to Mapi.

Thankfully they all missed your red face, or for now they chose to not say anything, but the little you know, there would be some of them who could tease you no matter how long they know you.

When you sit down to change shoes again, you feel how your feet feel sore with some movements you made to taste. You know it's normal, hopefully you wish they get used to it soon. Your legs felt heavier than before, but you can support it, you did before. Again, it's normal.

"¡Aitana y Y/N, juntas!" You heard how the coach started to put them into pairs, thankfully even if you don't understand what he said, you know what he means.

The brunette approaches you first, smiling and greeting you again, intertwining her arm with yours. You find comfort soon on her, it seems that she didn't mind being the only one talking and leaving you to talk when you want. Aitana is explaining some things to you, her voice getting loud when the chat around you becomes louder. She helps you with the drill, even teaching you some techniques to do it fastly. Her voice is gentle, not demanding or irritated, —something you fear could happen— is instructive and cheerful, like really enjoying telling you everything.

"You hide the ball really well." Aitana surprised you when she passed the ball to you again. She said so casually that you miss touching the ball on the first touch and apologizing, going for it again. The brunette let out a soft giggle. "Not bad." She teases you a little, but a smile remains on her lips watching you.

"You do it better than me." You dare to say, giving the ball at her again. You can feel how your cheek could explode at any moment, you can blame it for the heat of that afternoon though.

Aitana only nods her head and keeps smiling, maybe sensing your shyness getting on you right now. The rest of the drill with her was perfect, almost finishing it you opened a little more to her, telling her some things about where you came.

When it was over, the coach instructed another different exercise. And then, the last one is a match. You get with Aitana, —who high five at you— Salma, Ingrid, Ellie, Sydney and Vicky.

In the opposite team were Patri, Mapi, —who made a grimace looking at you, making some laughs— Alexia, Cata, Frido, Claudia and Irene. The rest would be sub for some of you through the game.

You grab the training pinny that someone from the staff team tends you, putting it on. Your team starts first, Salma giving the first touch to start the game.

It's here when you notice how far away you are from them. When they push you to steal the ball, it was inevitable to not move you a few centimetres, still you manage to keep the ball. You have a hard time with Patri, that apparently is marking you. When you give your back at her, somehow her elbow collides hard on your lower back, making you hiss a little but didn't give up and give a pass to Ingrid. Then, when the other team has the ball you struggle to go and steal the ball from some of them. They move it quickly, the connection between Claudia and Alexia palpable. They advance first to your goal, Alexia making a run with Aitana chasing her without success to steal the ball. And surprisingly it's you who avoided the ball entering the goal when Alexia kicked it and you threw yourself on the turf, the ball going to the other side of the pitch going outside.

Ingrid helps you to stand up, commenting to keep like that. Ellie pats your shoulder, grabbing the ball and kicking it to have a counter back. You go up, seeing how Salma controls the ball and failing the dribble against Irene.

They scored first, Claudia gave a beautiful shot at the right corner of the goal, a ball unstoppable. Panting, you returned to your position wiping the sweat from your forehead with the palm of your hand. This time Salma passed you the ball, Patri and Alexia going towards you running fastly, letting you only seconds to think and choose. The smart thing to do is pass the ball to another teammate, but you always like the risk. So seeing they are coming through your sides, you have a small space in the middle and when they are close to you, raising the ball between their legs when they extend them, you run with the ball through them and make a run, seeing how Vicky finds a breach and passes the ball to her. Sadly, the ball hit the crossbar.

You see how Mapi screams at her team while she points at you, a gesture serious on her face. Vicky gives you a thumbs up, apologizing too for failing. It encourages you how your teammates in this game give you good comments. But you can't anymore after awhile, you are out of breath, receiving kicks to your ankles didn't help either.

So when your team scored thanks to Aitana, fortunately the coach made some changes. He changes you for Dragoni, he congratulates you giving a palm to your shoulder gently.

"Take."

You turn your head to the voice, seeing how Jana is approaching you with a Gatorade in hand. Thanking her, you remain next to her holding the bottle with both hands while you put pressure on it, the cold liquid hitting your mouth and relieving you.

You try to ignore that you are next to her, your breathing becoming normal while your eyes are on the pitch, Caro going in for Salma. Your teammate decided to put herself next to you grabbing a Gatorade, commenting on the play you made before with enthusiasm.

"You should see their faces." Jana commented, chuckling a little pointing with her head the midfielders. "They didn't see it coming." Her brown eyes look at you, warm and welcoming. Her posture is lightly inclined to you both.

"I'm scared now." You muttered, half closing your eyes when you returned to look back at the pitch to Alexia and Patri, concentrated.

They both leave out soft laughs, Salma leaning on you to comment that they are not that scary, but then she retreats herself and advises you to not make Alexia angry.

Ona and the three midfielders are changed, Jana joining the team to finally play. Patri elbow you with a grin, commenting on the play and complimenting you.

You don't know why but you don't find it that impressive, still you politely didn't say anything and thank their comment.

When the training is over, you all are walking back. What you didn't know was how you managed to focus your attention in Jana while she is speaking with Ona about something you don't know, but really seems happy about the topic. The problem came when you trip with the bag's ball that you offered to take to its place, your knees hit hard the pavement and you slipped out a small hurt sound.

The first face that you see is Alexia, hearing from a short distance someone screams “My child!”. The blonde immediately asks you if you are okay, worry not only filling her eyes, her all face too.

"I'm awkward." You whisper after communicating that you are fine, accepting the hand she offers you to help you stand up.

Alexia points out that your knees are bleeding, offering to go with you to the medical office team. Mapi soon is by your side, taking your face between her hands and asking in a messy English tone if you are okay.

You don't realise that they all are looking at you until you look straight, their stares make you blush a lot. You try to avoid those eyes at all costs, not daring to see her reaction to your stupid fall.

The two by your sides offered to go with you to take care of your knees, Alexia instructing someone else to take care of the bag in your hands.

"How is your first day?" Alexia asks you once finished to patch your knees, accompanying you to the changing room.

"Pretty good. Nervous, but exciting." You say honestly after thinking how you are feeling through this day.

Alexia nods, giving you a soft squeeze on your elbow.

You three enter there, half of the team out of the place. Mapi waits patiently next to your place like she told you when Alexia sent her here.

"I'll take you to your place."

Then, Mapi and Ingrid waited patiently for you to put in your other shoes, the defender dismissing when you say your car would stay here.

•••

You stirred, letting out a sigh and turning to your other side. Then, an incessant noise wakes you up and blindly searches for the device, muttering sleepily to another person in the other line.

"¿Qué? No importa, open the door kid. We are here."

You frown lightly, removing the phone from your ear and with an eye closed you see that you don't have saved the number, but the voice sounds to you a lot. It's when you see the hour that you cursed and stand up, going to open the door.

Ona, Ingrid and Mapi are there.

"Sorry, I didn't hear the alarms." You said, opening the door for them still with your phone in hand.

"We figure out that you wouldn't do it in time, so we came to save you." Mapi sang, going first to your apartment.

"That looks painful." Ona tells you once she greets you, eyes fixed on your exposed knees, where the wound is showing.

You shrugged, feeling heaviness on all your body. Ingrid tells you that you still have time to go to training, saying that you don't need to rush.

Once with the kit on, tidy ponytail, you come back to the living room, commenting if they want something in your way towards the kitchen.

"Don't worry, we already have breakfast." Ona says, leaning on the frame when she steps with Mapi in the kitchen, Ingrid stays on the couch.

You nod, grabbing some oranges and squeezing them in an orange squeezer. You obligate yourself to eat something, usually you aren't the type to wake up and eat immediately, you need time apart to do that.

Mapi steals some cookies, giving you an innocent smile when you look at her.

"How do you know that I leave myself asleep?" You ask her in a small tone, still the tiredness shows on.

"We were there before." She says, shrugging.

After you finish, brush your teeth and the four of you go inside of Mapi's car. Apparently Ona's car is in a garage for a few days and she needs a ride to the training grounds these days.

"Let me help you with that." Ingrid says to you when you enter the changing room, some of them are already there. "Take, it helps." She gives you two white bandages, enough to cover your wounds.

Sitting, you put one in your right knee, flinching a little when it brushes your wound. When you are putting the second in your left, someone comes and asks you for them.

"Hurt that much?" You look up immediately, seeing Jana standing in front of you looking at how you are finished to put on the bandage.

"Not too much." You murmur, swallowing.

Jana nods, gifting you a smile and going out of the changing room.

You don't have time to process her presence in your space when Alexia comes to ask you how you are, muttering that you need to be more careful knowing now that you are a little clumsy.

That morning training feels like it never goes to end. Maybe it's the heaviness you feel, that it seems that every touch, movement and precision were slower and you don't like it. You missed a few easy marks, cursing yourself in a whisper in your language in the second missed touch. You don't want to look at them on their faces, feeling embarrassed and the truth is that you could handle their gazes, because you know it speaks louder than any comment they would tell you.

"We are going to have lunch, let's go." Mapi informs you when she enters a few minutes after you, turning around to pick up her things and missing your surprised expression.

"We thought that you would like this bar, they have really good tapas." Ona seems to catch your face, walking with her gym bag towards you three are. You assume that she will be stuck with the couple today because she didn't have a car and they offered.

You muttered a soft okay, giving a light shrug while put on your gym bag through your body. You are refreshed once you come back to the changing room, immediately changing your sweated kit and burying yourself under the water, taking a quick shower. So fortunately you don't need to worry about your smell bothering them.

Ona starts a conversation with Alexia, who it seems that she would go too. You freeze a little when Jana approaches the door knocking on it, an impatient face looking at them while saying something that you don't understand. You stand awkwardly next to Ingrid, finding comfort in the brunette who welcomes you the day before and some way take care of you, like the defender who is screaming something while she grabs another kit that she is wearing and going to the shower area.

You see how Ingrid sits down with a knowing look, telling you the same and commenting that it would take Mapi fifteen minutes at least. Jana clicked with her tongue, letting out a sigh and muttering something at them, you only caught Kika's name and then disappeared from there.

You assume that they would go too, making you feel a little nervous. Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear Mapi shout the lyrics from the song she put on, you try to hold a smile but fail with every miss note she makes. Alexia shares a smile with you when she sees you, muttering to you that she recommended the defender to be a singer instead, this time a soft laugh escaped from your mouth.

After a few failed warnings from Alexia, Mapi came out with a clean kit and wet hair, cheerfully grabbing her things and going to the door, throwing the car's keys to Ingrid. Some screams are exchanged between the defender and the girls inside a car, the vehicle disappears after they all are in Mapi's car, the pilot this time being the Norwegian midfielder while you are in the middle between Alexia and Ona.

You feel relieved the moment your back hits the soft material, content while you hear some Spanish song sounding in a low volume while they sometimes talk, less Alexia who seems interested looking at the window. You are glad to not be the only one remaining quiet, even if you have the barrier of the language as an excuse.

When the car is parked, you need to walk to the place they said. You look at the streets and the inevitable familiarity of them reminds you of your hometown, even the language has some familiarity with yours. You follow the group, look at everything and take some notes to visit some places that take your interest.

They enter the bar in a corner, the cold breeze hits you immediately and you feel grateful for it, something definitely it shares with your city is the heat in this time of the year. You spotted a table where some of your teammates are there sitting, calling your names.

However you wait for them to take a seat, Jana sees you standing and offers you the seat next to her, hand removing the chair behind with a kind smile. You meet her peach scent the moment you take the seat, biting your lower lip while the loud chatter floats around you.

"Do you have Instagram?" Mapi asks you from the other place of the table, grabbing her phone while looking at you.

You knitted your eyebrows, nodding with your head. She asks you the name, letting out an exclamation when you told your name, gaining some laughs from your teammates.

"How do I type that? I don't know how to pronounce it either." The defender says, a little astonished.

"She is Greek, dumb." Salma informs her, winking at your way.

You feel how Jana is looking at you, so you don't look at her way and instead grab Mapi's phone when she extends her arm to you and mutters to type your surname.

"Y/N Oiko- Oikomu.- ¡Mierda! I don't know." Mapi tries to read, failing in every intention to read properly. However you feel how your phone vibrates while Mapi huff, shushing Claudia next to her who is laughing.

"Oikonomou." Ingrid read out loud from Mapi's phone, making the defender roll her eyes while ignoring the smirk on her girlfriend's face.

You see how Mapi is failing how to pronounce your surname, getting entertained by it with every try until you see a phone in front of you, Alexia is giving you a shy smile with the Instagram app open. You typed your surname and gave it back to her, feeling how your phone vibrates again.

"¡Griega! Pégate towards them!" Mapi shouts at you with the phone pointing to the group to your right side.

You lean it with a lipped smile, probably looking horrible because it's how you feel. If you are tense you are more the moment you feel Jana's hand on your back, a gesture to indicate silently to be close to her for the picture.

You hold your breath until Mapi is finished to take pictures, but soon she points the phone to your face, not giving you the opportunity to recover for the warm touch of the hand soaking through the fabric of your kit.

This time, Jana changes her hand to put an arm around your shoulder and lean her head to yours, hearing how she calls for Alexia next to you to join in the picture.

You can't believe what's happening right now, but you would go through this memory later that night in an attempt to comprehend your emotions.

Assimilating that friendly gesture, you see how Alexia tends a menu in front of you, asking what you like. You said that you like everything, not minding to try new things.

"Then, leave me to order for you. You won't regret it." She says, you accept her proposal.

Meanwhile, Vicky asks you things about where you are, saying out loud what everyone thinks but still didn't say out. You don't mind, after all there aren't too many Greeks on this side of the sport to be known. You start to tell your background a little, how you always remind yourself with a ball between your feet and playing on the street with the big kids, intensifying your interest when you live two years in London for your mother's job and don't renounce it when you come back to Athens.

"You are the first Greek I met." Mapi comments, narrowing her eyes when Claudia comments back that probably would be the last time too, laughing filling the table. The defender complains to Ingrid a few minutes later when they keep teasing her, you watch the interaction with fun.

Kika starts to keep a conversation with you about the vacation places, agreeing with you on some topics like in yours, in her country they have the same problem, just like Spain. People go to the beaches when they can offer more than that, and sometimes people who live there get annoyed by it.

"I'm starving." Ona muttered a few rows away from you, after thanking the waitress. Her face paints a small pleasure expression when saw the plate, starting to devour the content in the plate she is sharing with some of them.

The smell makes your stomach notice, making some noise that you —hopefully— nobody hears.

"Take, this is called chocos fritos." Alexia says while giving you a napkin enrolled with a fork and knife inside.

You taste it when you take the fork to your mouth, tasting the salty and the flavour of meeting your senses for the first time, you nod with your head when you feel Alexia's eyes on you, after chewing and communicating that it's really nice. You taste it too when Alexia puts some lemon on it after asking you, and you approve immediately at the addition.

Then, something called Gazpacho is placed in front of you, they told you it is traditional from the south of Spain and very popular for the whole country. It's like a cold soup that you love the moment you taste it, wanting more the moment you finish but remains quiet and wait for the last one, because there would be a dessert and they seem really excited for you to try.

You feel something dry on the corner of your lip, realising that Jana is cleaning that place with a napkin, whispering to you that you have gazpacho there. She didn't warned you to do it yourself, she just tells you while she does it.

Jana is not putting resistance on the weird thing that you are starting to feel whenever she is around you. And less with gestures like that.

After the last tapa, the dessert came quickly. It's called crema catalana, a traditional Catalan dessert that actually is really good. They call it only crema, explaining to you that there they call like that while in the rest of the country they call crema catalana.

Your verdict makes Alexia don't agree with you, telling you that your first election should be la crema catalana and not gazpacho. You give her a shy smile, shrugging while you all get out of there to go to the meeting to start to study your first rival in the league.

"At least today there aren't double sessions." Ona comments, patting your shoulder when she puts on her seatbelt.

You feel some relief knowing that, forgetting about that. However, the next day would be double sessions but at least you would be more rest.

•••

Pain, it's the only thing you can feel right now.

You leave a small hurt sound, taking a hand to your right side, your eyebrow. You notice a liquid and a lot of pain, taking a look at your fingers and seeing a red liquid there.

Why are you so clumsy?

You left a groan out, praying that no one heard or saw you. Crouching next to your car, you search for the keys quickly with your clean hand. Blushing just thinking how you made yourself that.

Once inside, you put your gym bag behind, taking a look to yourself in the rearview mirror and grimacing by the open cut in your eyebrow, blood falling through your cheek and nose, feeling the sensation of the smash with every second. It's like it's biting that place, inflammation starting to show.

You decided to go to the hospital because you feared that you probably needed stitches. So after cleaning your face, it still keeps bleeding. Putting the route to the hospital in your GPS, you start to drive carefully and avoid where some of your teammates are going out of the building.

Small drops of blood fell to your kit you realised when you took at last look to yourself in the mirror. Grabbing a new paper, you go out of the car and walk to the receptionist, who sends you to Urgències to attend you for your little accident.

You explain carefully what happened to you to the woman, who gladly helped you with a sad smile when she saw your state. After she gives you back your European sanitary card, the woman indicated to you to wait in the chairs to the right wing, warning you that it would probably take some hours there because there are people with injuries worse than yours, so you nod understandably and thanked her.

You are hungry, and you only have three hours free before you need to come back, still you know that you couldn't make it in time. Your head starts to hurt and you feel your eyebrow more heavy, your right eye half closed. Checking the time, you think if you should warn someone of the team with the hour approaching.

However you decide to leave the device because the brightness of the screen starts to bother you, deciding to go there once you finish.

Four hours later, you are out of there. The doctor who attended you said that you made the right decision to go there, the kind man makes you relax by giving you conversation, like giving him an excuse to practice his English to cheer for your team if he didn't like the sport, and obviously he told you to not train today for precaution when you explained how you made that wound.

You revise your phone once you parked the car there, your stomach roaring but got quiet when you see the missed calls from Alexia, Mapi and Ingrid. There are some text by Mapi.

Taking a breath, you walk slowly inside of the building with the paper the doctor gives you when you ask for him he could write it. Your hair is down, the ponytail was creating you a horrible headache.

You feel their eyes the moment they see you walk to the ground training, but you avoid their gazes and focus on the coach, who screams at them to keep with the drill while he approaches you with a worry expression.

"You alright?" He asks you, seeing the bandage on your eyebrow. You start to explain to him what happened, avoiding the reason behind it and then, you give the paper at him, commenting about your situation. "Okay, yeah. If you need something, please tell us. Some of them are worried about you." He said, saying goodbye and having some rest for the day.

You try to hide your face from them, walking away from there and thinking that you are going to miss the first match of the season, you wouldn't even be a sub.

Begrudgingly, you drive to your place and have a call with your mother, informing her about your state. She worried at first but calmed down once you told her that you were fine, just with a little headache, lying in little.

You feel like you will pass out at any moment when the call ends, remembering that you still didn't eat anything. You hear your phone vibrate, Alexia's name on the screen makes you doubt to answer the call.

"Hi." You greet her in a small voice, sitting on the couch again.

"What happened? Are you feeling bad?" Alexia voices feel anxious, very worried.

You feel bad to hear like that.

"I'm fine, nothing too serious. Just me being me." You leave out a small chuckle. "Do you remember the part when I told you I'm clumsy?" You hear her hummed. "Well, that happened. I got distracted and I buried part of my face in a post that I don't see and I cut my eyebrow. I don't train today because the doctor recommended not doing that." You explain, playing with the laces of your barça training shorts.

Alexia leaves out a heavy sigh, a few seconds later asking you if you need anything.

Before you could say something, there are a few knocks on your door at the same time the doorbell sounds.

"I think I'm fine. Mapi and Ingrid are here." You tell Alexia when you open the door with your heart accelerating because you got scared.

The Catalan before the call ends reminds you gently to call her if something happens, wishing you a quick recovery.

"What happened to your face?" Mapi is the first to speak, eyebrows knitted while she leaves her keys on the table, stepping towards you to check your covered area.

You blush, removing your gaze from the defender and clear your throat. "Smash into a post." You muttered, walking towards the kitchen after you leave your phone on the table.

"How?" Mapi trailed behind you, her gaze fixed on you.

"I wasn't just not looking and... It happened." You say, rummaging through your fridge thinking what to make yourself for dinner. "Do you stay for dinner?"

"Si." The defender answered quickly. "Where did you make it?" She asks, a hint of suspicion on her voice.

You turn to look at her and see her with her arms crossed, Ingrid leaning both hands on the marble table.

"After training, in the parking lot." You admitted, after debating whether to say it or not.

"And why didn't you go to the medical office? They would take care of you instead of you spending all those hours in the hospital." You flinch when you hear Ingrid's voice. It's not angry either reprimand, but is a chill with a hint of something you don't quite point out but make you feel like a child.

You just shrug, closing the door and leaning your back there, starting to play with your fingers.

"Wait, you said you made it in the parking lot. What got you so distracted to hit your face and need stitches?" Mapi inquires a few seconds later.

You blush, clearing your throat. You can't say it, because you don't even know what happens to you every time she is around.

"That bad?" Ingrid asks in a soft tone, sensing the heat raising to your cheeks.

You shake your head. "Just embarrassing." You murmured. Your eyes drifted to the bag paper on your table, inside are the medications the doctor says you need to take.

"Who's involved?" Mapi question straight, putting by your side with an inquisitive gaze.

Shit.

You swallow, muttering that you are hungry and ask what they want for dinner.

"Para." Mapi grabs your shoulders, stopping you. "Who?" Her tone is more serious, almost getting irritated with the fact that there is someone to blame.

"No one! I just noticed someone and... smashed my face." You say quickly, trying to reassure them there is not one to blame and it's only your fault.

The couple look at each other, speaking only with their eyes. You look at them a little terrify by their reaction. However you leave out a relief sigh when Mapi looks you back with a sly grin, her behaviour coming normal.

"¿Te gusta alguien? Who?" You only understand the second question, asking with your eyes she repeats again and it makes you blush more.

"I don't like anyone." You say, starting to clean up some tomatoes.

Ingrid sent you off and took charge of the dinner, seeing your state. Mapi follows you into the living room, sitting next to you while she can't stop smiling like a child.

"It's someone from the team?" She tries to guess, choosing the easy option and you curse her for it.

You remain quiet, but the laugh she leaves tells you that she knows she guesses correctly.

"Firstly, you have a taste." She wiggles her eyebrows, leaning her head briefly to your way while holding your left leg on her lap, she puts your leg there to inspect the wound on your knee. "And secondly... Who is she? ¿Es Ale? Sorry but she is taken!"

You shake your head, still keeping quiet.

"Patri?" She tried again, remembering your state of shock two days ago.

You shake your head again.

Mapi made a thinking face, muttering under her breath that there is a lot and begging for you to give her a clue.

"I don't like anyone." You say again, making Mapi roll her eyes.

Then, you see her think hard. So you remove your leg from her lap and tell her you are going to take a shower, maybe she went to rant off to Ingrid and stop thinking about the details.

Usually you feel better after a shower, but not this time. You just want to eat something, take the pills and go to bed to sleep and wake up without that horrible headache. You walk outside again on your pajamas, eyes half closed, the right one is looking almost closed.

"You look bad." Mapi points out, table ready for you three to eat dinner. "Eat and go to bed." She commanded softly.

•••

You watched the first match on the stands, just like you guessed. You remain two days out because they wanted you to take some precautions since you hit your head. You were next to Kika the whole time and saw how your team won the first three points.

To celebrate, they make a reservation in a restaurant to have dinner. It's going to be your first bond time out of the training grounds with them, you missed the first one for your minor injury.

What you don't wait for when you open the door is to see someone else in Mapi's backseat. You stay a few seconds watching until the driver loudly calls for you to go in.

"I joined them." Jana tells you when you got up, putting your seatbelt and leaving the brunette in the middle, to her left was Frido.

You give them a small smile in the form of a greeting. You try hard to not look too much at Jana while she speaks with them, noticing that you are seeing her for the first time with her hair down and thinking that she looks really pretty.

You come back to your dreamy state when Jana gently brushes her hand on your arm. "Frido asked you." She tells you, her smile widening.

Blinking, you hear Frido repeat the question. "I'm fine. Kika is a good company." You answer when she asks about how you are.

Mapi interjects that she is a better company, only for you to mutter that maybe Kika is better to tease her a little, the Aragonese leaves out a gasp offended and tells you to retreat.

"She is the dramatic of the team, like you can verify." The Swedish comments at you.

The rest of the way to the restaurant is filled with teasing Mapi and you appreciating Jana's presence next to you, almost not believing that she is there. Her voice is sounding more rasp for raising her voice during the match, like some of your teammates, but you find it very attractive towards Jana's mostly.

Once there, you have a break from the brunette and sit down between Alexia —who grab your wrist gently when you walk past her and ask you to sit down next to her— and Ona, who your bond on her is growing these days like the couple. You leave her your car when she commented that hers needed to be more time in the garage, so you offer yours and she agrees once she is reassured that it is okay with you, after asking tenth times. Also you figure out that Mapi would take you to the ground facilities the moment you hit your head and see your state later that day.

Ona is helping you to accommodate yourself into the city, walking to you to some places you comment at her when she approached your apartment last afternoon and asked you what you wanted to do. Also she heard Mapi tease you the next day of your incident when they came for you and with a tease smirk told Mapi to give you a break.

"Your right eye looks better." Alexia comments, checking your right side carefully.

"Yeah, it barely hurts anymore." You communicate, sipping from the coca cola zero cup you asked.

"You did yourself a damage there." She tells you, coming to your mind the first time she saw your stitches in your eyebrow and your right eye. Her face contorted and scolded you, then when Alexia finished immediately apologised and for the first time gave you a hug.

"Promise to be more careful." You repeat what you told her to reassure her, not scared when she scolded you because you saw the worry on her face.

"Más te vale." The blonde says smiling, an arm flying to your shoulder and bringing towards her gently.

You share the same smile, not believing that you have Alexia Putellas next to you, side hugging you, smiling and worrying at you.

Ona sees you two and raises her phone to your faces, saying a word that you don't understand and comprehending later when Alexia says the word what it means. You two share a laugh when Ona tries to spell your surname while she typed your name to tag you, giving you a small stern look she leaves her phone after she finishes, shoving your arm softly when you say it.

With the hours passing, you realised that you have a good time, seeing that they are like in training, what they showed. Some of them ask you to give your opinion on some topics they were discussing, or just telling you cultural things and wanting you to play some games with them on bond nights. If you need to say that someone scares you, that is Irene. The veteran defender has a strong aura, behaviours that if she thinks aren't right, she would tell you and cut you in an instant. However, you can see that she cares about them, the small smiles with the jokes that the young players made at her, scolding Claudia for throwing a piece of bread to Aitana to annoy her or when she asked you how you were feeling. Details that she looks the opposite of what she is, and she plays with that advantage sometimes.

Through dinner, your eyes search for someone. You see her between Ingrid and Frido, the conversations between them look smoother, sometimes their laugh mixes with the others and her eyes are fixed on you when some of them ask you something, there is genuine interest in them but it seems that you only notice Jana's.

"Let's go to a club!" Vicky exclaimed after they all paid.

There is a chorus between yes and no, it amused you how the young player received sceptical looks from the older, while the young ones beamed for her idea. You remain quiet, hands on the pocket of your denim jacket standing next to Ona because Alexia walks towards Vicky and starts to trick her, failing.

"Irene." Alexia called her, almost in a beg while raising her gaze to the defender.

Irene just shrugged, arms crossed on her chest with a calm face. "She is old enough to party, Ale." She said.

Alexia leaves out a small groan, hearing how Vicky squeals happily and jumps into Patri's arms. The blonde makes Patri promise her that she would take care of Vicky, looking through Ona when she points at her and you. Apparently you are going too, the hazel eyes of the captain look at you unsure but didn't say anything.

Mapi stormed out after having a dramatic conversation with her friend, she called your name and translated in Spanglish that she is who needed to keep an eye on Vicky, not Patri. Walking side by side, Ingrid flies behind you both and Ona shouts at you to be lucky where you can hear her smirk.

This time it is Claudia and Salma who accompanied you in the car to the club, the music already settled in the car. There looks like an improvised karaoke, the leader is Mapi with a tired Ingrid next to her, begging her girlfriend to shut up.

"She started to sing." You whisper Ona the moment her group approached you, the freckled girl smirked at you knowingly.

Before she could answer you, the sound of a car approaching at high speed like escaping from a persecution was heard, you got scared because the white car almost hit you if Ona and Ingrid pushed to their side.

"Cata, you need to be more careful! Why are you driving like that in a parking lot?" Ingrid scolds the goalkeeper the moment she puts a foot out.

The mentioned apologise with you, muttering something at Ingrid about rápida y furiosa. The brunette rolled her eyes, while this time it was Mapi who punched Cata's arm in warning.

The defender holds your hand and walks with you inside, asking you what you like to drink, you just said that you don't care, but maybe something not too hard.

Two hours later, you are leaning on the bar with Ona and Ingrid, you are feeling a little tired and have not joined the cheerful group dancing on the dance floor, ironically they don't look tired at all. You learn something new with the pair, having some laughs when Mapi failed miserably in a battle dance with Patri. You sneak some glances of where Jana is, a small smile approaching every time you see her laughing with some of them and erasing it when you notice.

Mapi comes staggering a little with her cup empty, hitting it on the bar and shouting to the waitress to have another. She didn't mind putting herself between Ingrid and Ona, interrupting their conversation.

"You look smiley tonight..." Mapi tells you when she positioned herself next to you, giving a sip to her new drink.

You raised an eyebrow, but remained quiet.

"I'm not that drunk." She sang lowly in your ear, the laugh slipping from her mouth tells another thing just like the slurred words.

Your breath faltered for a moment, but you just take a sip from your second ron con coca cola. Mapi intertwined her arm with yours, whispering that she knew who you like.

"I don't like anyone. Anyway, it is impossible. I've known you all for six days." You say, giving logical reasoning.

Mapi snorted. "It doesn't look that impossible to me. I watched it before, believe me." She slurred out, whispering in your ear that Jana is single and then gave you a thumbs up before she kissed Ingrid's cheek and came back to the dance floor, leaving you blushing profusely.

"What did she say to you?" Ona questioned when she sees your face.

"I barely understood her." You say, not telling the truth but either saying a lie.

They look at you suspicious, but didn't say anything. Then, Kika shows herself and after she obtains a new drink, —after taking a big gulp from yours— and grabbing your hand, taking you to the dance floor.

You thought that you can't blush anymore, but you can. You feel how your cheeks felt warm and was because Kika started dancing in front of you, holding your hand while dancing for you. You see her smug smirk, still she shouts in your ear to relax and join her. It worsens when Patri comes and starts to chant your name, arm landing on your shoulder while she joins Kika and dances. Soon, the rest is around you three, chanting your name and you only want to disappear but instead give in and start to dance, hearing them cheer. Somehow you loosen, feeling the music and probably it's for the alcohol in your system. Kika didn't let go of your hand, but she is having her attention on Claudia and Salma, making a bet about something you don't understand. Patri pulls off her arm but keeps on your side, her eyes are roaming a woman to her right, meanwhile the rest are scattered everywhere. You spotted that Jana takes Patri's job and remains by Vicky's side, seeing how she trailed behind every time the young player walks from one side to another.

And then it is Mapi, who points to Kika and mouths what you think is a jealous word. Her movements at this point are erratic, but it didn't stop her from dancing, she joined you and then separated and danced a few meters away, then came back. She keeps talking to everyone, somehow she is not too drunk to forget about her new discovery.

There is a moment that the Portuguese lean her body on yours, head leaning on your shoulder but keep dancing in slow movement. You can tell that she is tired, still it makes you a little nervous about how close she is. Vicky then approaches the little group where you are, —you stop dancing the moment Kika leans on you— the little girl shouts in Patri's ear to try to speak with that woman, only to be shoved aside by the Balear who starts to blush. Claudia pulls off her phone from her pocket, taking a small video of her friend who pushes away the phone by muttering something with slurred words. Then, the Catalan shouts to you and Kika to smile while putting the phone in your direction, the flash almost blind you there.

"Janaaaa!" You heard Kika say, changing your body for hers the moment the brunette approaches you both.

The defender received her with open arms, chuckling while Kika hides her head on her friend's neck. Jana locked eyes with you, smile softening while hugging back at her friend.

"She likes to cuddle when she is drunk and tired." She comments at you, who witnessed how her friend cuddled you.

"I noticed..." You comment back, holding the empty glass in your hand. Hearing how Patri is taking some breathing exercise next to you. "Is she alright?" You ask loudly, turning to look at her.

"She is taking some courage to speak to that woman." Jana explains, like she is used to this at this point.

You look at said woman, very beautiful if you said the truth. But there is something off on her, somehow sensing that probably she would give a rejection to your teammate. The eyes of the woman lock on you for a moment, you advertise your from her and make the feint to drink, but you remember it is empty when you don't feel the liquid and feel embarrassed. You hear how Jana leaves out a giggle by your side, then she puts her glass in front of you.

"You need it." Was the only thing she says when you raise your eyes to her. Jana is giving you an amused expression.

You drink and put a face when you taste the new flavour, you don't like it. You give it back to her while coughing a little, Patri pat on your back when she hears you.

"Alright?" She slurred out, her English at this point is in very short words to make herself understand what she wants to say.

You nod, seeing how Mapi approaches from nowhere. With a hand on your back, she shouts something at Patri and after she shakes her head with a trembling face, Mapi tells that the night is over.

Vicky wasn't very happy about it.

•••

20 minutes.

That was what you played in the second match of the league.

You don't mind, the contrary you thought would play less than 20 minutes. You came on for Alexia, who patted your shoulder and wished you good luck. There are enough advantages to let Alexia rest, so the coach can test some players.

You were very nervous, but you took it gladly because it makes you determined. You have some mistakes but nothing serious, the only problem is the many kicks to your ankles or the pull of your kit to stop you from hiding the ball from them. You noticed it at the first moment, the high level your team is while the opposite struggles. You never experienced being in the high level part, and it showed in that match.

The breath thing is starting to be controlled, but you need more training to understand some passes your teammates made between them. They didn't do it with you, still. However they told you how well you played, but you don't believe them. You know how you play and you can do it better.

October comes and you play much better in the third match, it was an away game and the new kit brightened under the sun.

You have velocity, so this time the coach put you on the left wing until he changed Aitana and put you in her position. You almost stopped a goal from a counterattack in a corner where Cata was in the middle and while she came back, the rival player saw the opportunity, so you sprint and run directly towards the goal, the moment the rival kicked the ball, you were shouting to Cata to move because she couldn't make it. You kick the ball out near the line, out of breath you move your hand to the referee to indicate it wasn't a goal. Cata was furious for it when the referee indicated that the ball touched the line and say its goal, there were no var and the only to believe were you and Cata, the last one gained a yellow card.

Then, it came the moment where you give an assist to Vicky in a play that no one waited to be. You never give a ball lost, and it is not going to happen now. It started when Irene saw Claudia to free herself from her mark but Irene kicked the ball very strongly and Claudia couldn't reach it so she let it go out. But you saw how the ball is getting slower and doesn't go out so you sprinted, taking the mistake the defender made and ran past her, only chasing you when they noticed. You give an auto pass to yourself and immediately center the ball into the box, the young player hitting the ball with her head and scoring.

You smiled.

"Ready for the Champions League match?" Mapi asks you a week before it happens, sitting herself next to you on the couch, interrupting your thoughts.

Today is bonding time, taking place in Patri's apartment.

You squint your eyes, voicing out your confusion.

"Just think that in a week, we will be playing against Juventus." Mapi says, giving you an innocent cheeky smile.

"You will play, I'm probably watching from the bench." You comment, without any remorse in your tone. You just know right now what you are in the team.

She pat your shoulder, leaving her hand there. "Well, keep playing like that and you soon will be a starter." Mapi leaves out a laugh when Kika sits on your lap, a habit she is developing. "You comfy?" Just like Mapi's suggestive tone when Kika does something relatively close to you.

"Very much, obrigado." Kika answers, leaning her head on your shoulder and giving a wide smile to the defender, leaning part of her leg on Mapi's lap.

You are starting to get used to this type of gesture by the Portuguese. She is like that with everyone, specially Jana, Ellie and Claudia, now you too. Your bond with her grows in the past month after the first party with half of the team in that club, Kika felt comfortable around you to start to tell you things about herself and rant whatever passes on her mind.

With Patri and Claudia there is a bond too, the pair of friends take care of you after training and wander around the city, you never laugh so much more than that afternoon. It surprised you one day when Patri and you were ranting about a match you were watching together in Mapi's place and the conversation took a turn and then she gave you advice. Since then, you listen to the small advice she gives you to be better. Patri didn't seem herself giving them, she told you, but she gives you when you ask shyly.

If the team didn't know who your favourite player was, they know it now.

With Alexia is who you bond in silence, since both of you shared some characteristics. She leaves you by yourself, without necessities of using words. She takes a look at you and knows, sometimes she pats your back gently and muttered how well you did that training and sometimes she tells you where you missed, her voice always firm and gentle. Then, the blonde asks you how are you, that question never missed in your day with her.

If the captain is silent, Aitana is the opposite. The brunette loves explaining everything, her voice getting excited every time you ask her how to do whatever they send you on your way if you don't understand. She is too who offered to help you with the languages, short classes in the gym session where Aitana teaches you and with a cheeky smile correct you or cheer because you learn it correctly. However she asks you how to say small things in Greek, surprisingly her accent sounds better with that language.

You take a liking towards Esmee, Ewa and Caro, sometimes when the rest is getting loud, you step towards them and quietly watch your teammates, sometimes commenting on something that only you four would laugh.

And then is Jana.

With her you feel the same. Nervous, like if you don't know how to speak in front of her and admiring from a distance. She is mostly the one who approached you, commenting on something in a play or just random things in bond nights, you almost collapsed one time when you got paired with her to play a board game. But she is kind and friendly, taking your nervousness like shyness around her. Jana always offers you a Gatorade when the training is stopped and steps towards the coach to give instructions, Mapi winks at your direction when your eyes landed on her.

Jana enters the living room and sees you and the forward, letting out a soft chuckle while teasingly pat Kika's thigh. The Portuguese reclaimed that there is no space for her to sit and that you are comfy, grabbing your arm and wrapping it around her middle section, playing with the only ring you wear. Claudia came and threw herself on you two, putting to your other side bothering Mapi now and leaning her head on your other shoulder, half of her body on the defender and on you.

Patri takes a picture of you, laughing hard by your red face. Still, —not counting Ingrid— they can't pronounce your surname and you find some comfort for when they tease you.

•••

You hate yourself so much.

You can feel the tears in your eyes, holding them while in a failed attempt you try to listen to the coach, but you can't.

It's January, a week after New Year.

Last day was match day and you played the full second half, for a part you felt glad the coach is taking more of your presence in the squad and at the same time is a nightmare for you when it is over.

You analyse every detail in your head, punishing you in your mistakes and barely paying attention to the good ones, if there were some. You don't know at what moment you started to feel like this, but you are repeating to yourself that you can't.

It's a series of things, pretending for your teammates is not easy, but it's a natural thing you know how to do. When they ask you in a casual way how are you; you are fine while giving them the most convincing smile you learned to give. Though you need to be careful with Mapi and Alexia, knowing very well that if the Aragonese see a glimpse of how you are feeling she asks you in the first second, and you don't want to worry them because they have their own problems.

You blinked when you saw how your teammates started to go to the gym area, today is a recovery session. You opted to go to the toilets first, with silent steps you went out and disappeared into the empty toilet, tears slipping from your eyes.

No matter how many times you wipe them with the palm of your hand, they can't stop approaching more. You spend a good amount of time there, biting your lower lip and trying to calm yourself, repeating that this is not the moment.

You throw water to your face before you go out, the tears stop minutes ago and after calming your breathing, your steps take you to the gym. Their gazes are on you the moment you start to walk towards the circle group, you know your eyes are red and puffy, but you don't have enough force to cover at least what you can.

The group is dissolved quickly and allowed to use the machines, you step into the treadmill. You have not raised your head up at any moment, embarrassed of who they would look at you. However you can hear, you heard how Alexia sharply called Mapi's name and shut her up when the defender was to say something.

You are grateful for both of them, they wanted to take care of you in their manners. But you appreciate mostly Alexia's gesture right now.

Your mind is going wild, the last match replaying in your mind like a joke. Maybe Barcelona is too much for someone like you, brightly and sharply at the same time. This team requires professionals, people who can handle and know what they know what is doing. You feel lost most of the time. They deserve someone who fits into the squad and no one who needs to take them by their hands.

Your lungs burn, but you don't stop to run.

However, someone else did.

You saw a hand pressing the buttons knowingly, making you look up for the first time and see the last person you would imagine.

"I think it is enough." Jana says in a kind tone, but firm to let you know that you are over with the treadmill.

You stopped there, taking your kit towards your face and wiping the sweat. You are like that for a few minutes, the emotion is coming back and you keep repeating to hold it, at least until you reach your car.

When you put your kit down, you see how Jana is leaning her head on her arms and looking at you, waiting. Her gaze is warm, kindness floating on her brown orbs.

"Come with me?" She murmurs, extending her right hand towards you. Her smile matches her gaze, a welcome invitation that takes you by surprise.

You don't say anything, you shyly put your hand on hers, going down the treadmill and letting her take you whatever she wants. You notice that there are only a few of them there, you find the rest in the changing room.

"Stay here." Jana says after making you sit in her place. You missed the warmth of her hand, or her presence next to you. If you need to describe her, it would be warm, she reminds you of the sun hitting your skin in Spring, a hot chocolate to warm you from the cold.

You see her talk with Mapi and Ingrid, Alexia next to them remaining quiet. The couple sneak some glances towards you, mainly Mapi who are reluctant to come towards you at any moment.

Ona raised a thumbs up to your way, asking with only a gesture of her head. You nod once, enough for her to gift you a small nod too with a tiny lipped smile before she resumed what she is doing.

Kika approaches you and kisses the side of your head accompanied by a soft squeeze on your shoulder, then she goes away from there.

The young Catalan came back with your things in hand, a soft smile on her face telling you to give her a moment to collect her things. You feel how a pair of arms involved you, whispering the same thing she said the first day, the defender kissed your head and went away. Ingrid copied Mapi in a silent manner and Alexia just rubbed your hair, pinching softly your cheek.

You follow Jana through the halls, hands on your barça jacket's pocket and hiding your chin, it's a cold day. She takes you towards her car, once you are inside she comments to have a warm drink in a cafeteria she likes.

Jana ordered for you, having a small conversation with the woman behind the bar. You listen to her dazed, noticing how her knee is brushing your under the table. Then, she stopped talking and took a look through the local, eyes landing on you while her finger tapped the table mindlessly.

"Better?" She leans on, now supporting her chin with a hand. Her face is lightly inclined towards you, eyes scanning your face slowly.

You shrugged, feeling a little tired. "Better than before." You said in a husky voice, hands still inside of your jacket.

The woman came back, putting two hot cups of cacao on the table with two plates, tostadas con jamón y aceite. It was you always asked since you started living here, Ona took you some day to have breakfast and since then it's what you take.

"Everyone likes jamón." Jana answered when you ask how she knew, shrugging while giving a sip to her cup hiding a smile.

You feel better with every sip you take from your cup, the hot drink helping your mood. You two eat in silence, the only noise is from the people around you. Your eyes are looking around curiously, small groups of people in their lives that right now are sharing a moment. Low music from a radio station enveloping the place, kids being loud, laughs filling the adults table and the cash register sounding constantly, for the owner's luck.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She whispers once you finish eating. Both arms lean on the table while slightly she leans, the end of her hair brushing their palms.

You swallow, she is direct.

Do you?

Deep down you knew that you needed to tell someone. But is Jana the right person? You are afraid she will judge you, even if you know that she —actually— isn't going to do that.

"It's from yesterday... It's silly." You said in a quiet voice, hands under the table playing with a napkin.

"Everyone has a bad day." She says after a few minutes of silence, sad eyes telling you the poor performance you played yesterday.

"I played like a toddler... Shit, worse." You muttered, knitting your eyebrows.

You soften your expression when you see Jana's confused one. "Toddler? You have a few mistakes, but you do not played badly." She points out, like really confused. "Do you think you played bad?"

Silence, that's your answer to her question. The brunette relaxed her eyebrows, taking your silence like an affirmative. It's when you feel your eyes watering again, feeling a little exposed. You hear the sound of a chair being dragged when you look down, her right knee is touching yours, one of her hands grab yours gently and pull up to the table, her thumb rubbing a small pattern in your palm.

"I don't think that you played bad." She confesses in a low voice. You raise your gaze slowly and you find peace, an invitation to say more if you want. She doesn't need to ask out loud what she is doing with her eyes, the defender waited patiently holding your hand.

"I can't anymore." You whisper, scared. It's the first time you say it, that words falling from your mouth and not from your mind where it fell to a mountain where the same words stack.

You see for a second her surprise swim in her eyes, though she covered it quickly and remained quiet, the only gesture she makes is squeeze the hand holding.

"I think I don't fit into the team..." You continued after a few minutes. "The high level you all are, it's impossible for me to be there some day. The only new ones I learned are my scars in my ankles, it's like there's a huge fountain with water but I can't find where to drink." You rant, tears streaming on your cheeks. Your voice is getting shaky, chest going up and down with every word you unlock. "I don't deserve to be here, you all don't deserve to pull from me." You finish to say, voice dying slowly. You two know that there are more, but you can't continue because you are tired, and sobbing.

Jana leaves your hand to wrap your body in a hug, bringing you towards her while her hand starts to rub your back. She doesn't care if you wet her hoodie or her hair, Jana just holds you in a tight and warm embrace letting your tears find their place on her shoreline.

"Can I say something?" She whispers in your ear after a while, when you calm down a little. You nod, not daring to articulate a word. "I can't imagine what you are feeling right now, but believe me when I tell you this. We don't see you like you don't deserve to be here. Actually, we are impressed by you." She admitted, taking a pause. "Yeah, the first training you looked a little lost but even you did it well. Do you remember the little game that you played against Mapi? You made her sweat, it was exciting to see that duel and you fought against one of the best defenders and won. And I remember in your second match how you saved a ball that the referee said it's goal but it's not, and how you give an assist. I see Alexia and Aitana fear for the position on the team for you, because with every training and every match, you are getting better." Jana separated a little from the hug and grabbed your chin, making you look at her. "Please, don't give up because your demons are winning here." She gently taps your head, wiping later some dry tears from your cheek.

You bite your lip, whispering a thanks to her and come back to hide on her neck.

Jana kissed the side of your head, telling you that she would make you change your negative opinions and doubts of you leaving the team.

•••

Something between you two changed that evening.

Your friendship finally blossomed.

Maybe it is the secret you shared with her, where there were a few more told. Jana listened to your insecurities and held your hand, kissing your invisible wounds on your cheeks while whispering to your demons that they aren't going to win.

She had your back the moment you told Mapi, Ingrid and Alexia what happened.

For the first time you saw Mapi snap at Alexia when this one tried to stop her from asking you. The defender screamed on her face what you said, blaming her for not noticing this.

Awkwardly you stopped the confrontation where Alexia was pallid and mute, while Mapi had her face red for the anger. You told them it's not their fault, it's only yours, promising them that you took remedy and started to see the psychologist team.

You don't want to scream at your entire team what happened to you, so you just spoke with a few and this one shared quietly what it was.

Patri and Claudia were telling you not subtle that you played amazing or had a good training. You gave them an appreciated smile, chuckling at the end for their expressions.

Ona got more affectionately, showing to your apartment like it was hers and sometimes staying there, she even introduced you to Lucy for Facetime, teasing you a lot for your quietness after hanging up. You feel her gaze softer from the day she found out, making everyone shut up on bonding nights to let you choose or just accompany you in your silence.

Kika is a mix of Ona and Mapi, she has perceived you like a friend for a long time, so she isn't afraid to shut you up if she needs to tell you something, always with good manners. Then, she showed you affection.

The couple basically adopted you, if it's not Mapi checking on you it's Ingrid or both of them at the same time, but they promised you what happened, never happened again.

Alexia is who you need to reassure her more, her words with you are careful out of the training grounds. You feel her eyes on you the entire time, keeping her closeness at bay but reassuring you that you belong there.

The rest of the team helps in their manner too, like Aitana when she took you to a campsite a whole free weekend on the national window and where she had a small injury and couldn't make it (Mapi trailing behind, of course).

They are making you see, and you are grateful for that.

•••

Something you learn to be their teammate is how affectionate the majority of them are.

You always have someone side hugging you when the training session is over, the cuddles on bond nights or how they shared the personal space with you.

However, you become a mess when Jana starts to be affectionate with you. At first there was an arm around your shoulders, sometimes accompanied by a kiss on the cheek, but later started the hugs from behind that only was for a few seconds but enough for you to trip with your own feet, her pinky finger intertwining with yours on walks towards the gym or changing room, or during bonding nights joined Kika and think that you are a comfortable pillow to lean on.

"When is the wedding?" Claudia asks when she spotted Jana's hand intertwining with yours laying down on top of a table.

You blush, thinking to pull off your hand.

But Jana just chuckled, her attention was on Salma because they were talking, her head turned to look at Claudia. "Soon." She said smirking, a tease tone following Claudia's intentions. Jana turns to look at you, pushing your shoulder with hers in a friendly way while sharing the complicity with you.

"I hold your hand too." You spoke out, clearing your throat. "Why is the wedding with her and not with you?"

Small laughter is heard, the girls scattered around the turf mock Claudia. The midfielder rolled her eyes, a small red shadow on her cheeks, she played it off and left a sigh, grabbing a near chair and sitting in front of you, showing her middle finger in your direction.

You give her a grin.

***

"You need to be careful!" Alexia says still holding your arm in her hand. "Try not to trip, please."

You give her a lipped smile, apologising later.

"It's not her fault, Ale. It's her." Mapi says behind you two, bottle in hand giving a long sip.

Alexia frowns confused while you curse Mapi and calm your nerves.

"Who? Who do I need to blame for making her trip four times this morning?" The blonde asks at her incredulous, frowning because she can't point out who Mapi is referring to.

The defender starts to smirk, looking at you briefly before she points with her head the place. You elbow her, muttering that is a lie.

"Don't blame her, today la cabrona is glowing." Mapi commented, letting a small chuckle by Alexia's reaction. "My child here has a huge crush on our Jana." She said patting your shoulder, making a fake pout when you push her hand away.

Alexia looks at you, eyebrows raised. "¿En serio?" It's all she says. You avoided her gaze, embarrassed and quietly, not wanting to confirm anything and less in front of Mapi, who you still don't do it. You hear how she takes a breath, taking your arm on her hand and leading the way to the changing room. "Please, just be careful today. Tomorrow probably could be our last Champions League match and I need you there, without any injury. You hear me?"

You nod slowly, trying not to make a face when you hear Mapi's giggling behind you, muttering to have luck with that at the captain's way.

***

When Alexia said it could be our last match of the Champions League this season, she wasn't kidding.

The first match played in Munich finished in a tie, 2-2 and left the decision to be resolved in Barcelona.

You enter into the second half, in the 67th minute. Caro was suffering what looked like a new injury and you subbed on her, you covered the left wing leaving Salma to the right one. Your team was losing by a goal, Georgia Stanway scored in five minutes of starting the match.

2-3.

It's not a first appearance for you to be in a Champions League match anymore. You push like your team, even if you are not not comfortable playing that position, you fight every ball.

But it seems that your team has bad luck today.

Cata Coll received a red card and there is not more change to do.

You see how Alexia pushes the team out of the referee and stays herself to speak, you look to the minute, still there are eighteenth minutes to do something. Something impossible right now, with one less and someone like a goalkeeper when they aren't.

You join the group when Alexia shakes her head, you all saw it and knew that it was a red card. Now you all need to choose who would be the goalkeeper and try to stop the penalty.

"I'll do it." You say before someone else offers, they look at you. You can perceive their uncertainty, Jana looks at you with surprised eyes as Mapi. "We need you all there, I'm the most irrelevant on the pitch right now with one less. I'll do it." You explain briefly, not waiting for them to reply and step towards the sideline, receiving the goalkeeper's kit with Cata's gloves, this one held your head between her hands and gave encouraged words, telling you that if you did before, you can do it again.

Everyone patted your back to your way to the goal, Mapi helps you to put on the gloves. You shared a look that says everything and after giving you a short hug, she puts herself out of the box.

You approached the referee, in front of Pernille Harder who has the ball between her hands. In another moment you could collapse having your idol in front of you, but you need to focus. Nodding with the explanation, you pull on the sleeves and extend your arms a few times to stretch.

The noise felt silent, your focus entirely on the player looking at the ball. You only need a small crack to read what she is going to do, you say it on your mind, scanning Pernille's face to resolve her intentions. Then, you see it. The moment Pernille takes a few steps back, she looks at you for a brief second and you know what she is going to do.

You don't blame her, it's something that you would do too if the goalkeeper you are shooting is not a natural goalkeeper.

You take a small breath, changing your expression a little to let her know that you felt a little insecure, praying to the ball's god for Pernille to believe you and not change her mind.

Everything there is in slow motion, the run Pernille makes until she shoots.

You remained on the spot, the ball hit hard your hands sending it up, catching it later between your hands while you feel the sensation run on them. You throw yourself to the pitch, not believing that you guessed Pernille's choice, even if the ball was sent to your way hard, you stopped because you stayed in the middle.

You feel your teammates launching you, screaming happily and congratulating you. Mapi helps you to stand up, kissing your forehead before she runs to her position. You catch Jana's eyes briefly, she winked at you and waited for you to put the ball up.

Shaking, you send the ball for the forwards. You can feel a new sensation that maybe, your team could at least score and extend to extra time.

The minutes pass and the rival players are more in your area, your teammates protecting the box so they don't let them go through. There are a few shots to your goal, but they go away or are stopped by the defence line. Alexia shouts at you to play in a short ball, to try to create a play and maybe score. There are five minutes to left plus the extra minutes the referee would put.

You pass the ball to Mapi, Lea Schüller giving her everything and sprinting towards her for Mapi to pass to Ona. The rivals are making your team rush the ball and a mistake, they would take it from them. Patri shot from out of the box, hitting the goal hard and the ball going out. Your breath is stuck on your chest for a moment, clapping like the fans to cheer up.

The second time your team steals the ball from Zadrazil's feet, Aitana passes the ball immediately to Alexia, who runs smoothly to the box but she sees how the ball couldn't pass through the defence line and gives a pass to Claudia to the right side, the Catalan kick the ball at the first touch and with precision, put the ball inside of the net, making the whole stadium vibrate.

You jump, throw your arms up and meet Mapi who decides to celebrate with you instead of going with the rest, Irene joins you two.

The head coach screamed at you all to keep calm the last three minutes, probably going to extra time if the result stays like that.

You control your emotions on the last play, there is a corner for the Barbarian team. You push the player who puts you in front of you, Patri comes and flanks her, not letting her have many options with the ball.

The ball is sent to the other side of the pitch by Alexia, finishing the match indicating there is extra time.

You jogger to the sidelines, towel around your shoulders while you tell the staff team when they ask that you still feel the sensation on your hands from the penalty. Cata goes towards you, hugging with force and screaming how proud of you she is, remaining by your side in the circle forming around the coach, everyone drinking or eating a banana. Listening carefully, you try not to think too much about what you are doing or what you would do through the extra time. Alexia goes towards the referee when the break is over, deciding which side you all would start.

The first half is hard for you all, the Bayern's girls closed your all in your sides. You don't know how you stopped some balls, but you did. Other times were thanks to the defensive line, sending the ball out or to the other side of the pitch.

You all are suffering.

The second half you almost provoked a heart attack to everyone there. It's in a counterattack for them, the rival team are more tired this part and not pressuring like the first half, so your team breathes a little. You were close to the middle, watching carefully the play where Mapi would center the ball and with luck someone pushed it through the net, but not. Giulia Gwinn pushes the ball out of the box, Klara Bühl catching the ball and running towards your goal. You ran behind with your eyes fixed on the player, some of her teammates following her.

It's you and her.

You notice that she doubted for a second, enough for you to fight the ball. The moment she doubts you go towards her and throw yourself down at the same time she was gonna kick the ball, impacting your feet on the ball and sending the ball near the corner. You stand up and run for it, hearing the shouting of your teammates. You feel how she pushed you, but you don't move a centimeter and immediately run with the ball towards your goal, stopping on your tracks and passing the ball through the rival's legs, kicking the ball hard away from you.

Irene shouts at you to not do it again, you just nod, but you would do it if you feel you can.

Alexia sent you a look, a warning and scared one.

But Patri came and slammed her body into yours, screaming a loud ¡Vamos!

The second half is over and it means penalties.

Your legs feel like you would fall at any moment. The goalkeeper coach like the goalkeepers takes you a little apart, studying in the short moment you have the rival's players. You nod your head, remaining quiet.

Cata gives you a hard hug, Ellie and Gemma encouraging words.

You approached the group, Jana walked to your side and held your hand. The touch makes you feel how irritated your skin becomes for the impact of the balls, but you don't mind, you squeezed her hand gently.

Alexia leaned her forehead on yours and muttered that you can with the last push. However what happens tonight, she is proud of you. It makes you blink a few times because those words have some effect on you.

They all tell you some words, always accompanied by a hug. The last one is Jana, which helps you to put the gloves back. She didn't say anything, just gave the longest hug that no one of them gave you.

You walked towards the referee, alongside the rival's goalkeeper how pat your back friendly, you did the same.

Nodding, you see how Pernille is going to start. However, you know that this time, she is scoring. The blonde is going to fix the mistake she made herself before.

You look briefly to where your teammates are in line, they are hugging each other while watching you, some of them nod their head towards you. The roar of the public is loud behind you, the barça fans making noise and having your back.

The referee whistle and Pernille takes a run, sending the ball to the right corner where you only could brush a finger.

At least you tried. But still you punch the grass a little annoyed. You walk out, seeing how the rival's goalkeeper put herself where you were before.

Alexia is taking the first penalty in your team, to your mind came that day you stayed behind with her and practiced with them, you know the captain was getting herself hard on that department with some of the failed penalties she made in the past.

However, she scored hard to the left corner, jogging towards you and whispering that you can, giving you a short hug.

The second penalty you focus your attention on her face, trying to decipher her choice. Klara Bühl takes a run the moment the referee whistles and you throw yourself where Pernille threw before the ball, ball hitting your hands hardly.

You scream, letting out some emotion. The public roared with you, accompanied yourself next to the goal to leave your teammate to do her job.

Mapi is the second, not surprising you at all since the Aragone have un guante en el pie, like Spanish said. She kicks it like Alexia, but to the right side, cheating the goalkeeper shamelessly. She jogged towards you, raising you in her arms briefly while congratulating you and whispering to keep like that.

Georgia Stanway sent the ball very strong to the right side, hitting the net with a hard sound.

Tie.

Taking a small breath, you keep away from that moment. Aitana walks to the box, putting the ball whatever she wants. You see how the goalkeeper guessed the side and stopped it, sending the ball up and outside for the force.

Aitana walked towards you with teary eyes, whispering apology words to you when she hugs you.

"We are a team, Aiti. We won, we failed. All together, remember?" You said firm, both hands on her shoulders. She nods slowly, coming back with the rest who give her reassurance.

Giulia Gwinn almost scored, but you stop the ball with your foot.

You point the bench with your glove hand, Cata jumping on the spot screaming wildly.

Patri is the next, you know she is going to score. She has this aura, the elegance and the shame to do whatever she wants. She surprised you when she chose the middle, fainting the goalkeeper first. The Balear jumps on you, kissing your head while chanting with the public.

Your eyes are glued to Lena Oberdof, seeing how she puts the ball in the middle. The sound of the whistle made her give some steps back, kicking the ball in a strong shoot that graze the goal and missed to go inside.

You closed your eyes, this it is. If your teammate scores, your team will pass to the semi final. You leave a sigh out, walking to the side. Your eyes focus on your teammates, seeing how Claudia is walking towards the box. She crossed her gaze with you, winking in your direction she put the ball.

Claudia sent the ball to the right side, once again cheating the goalkeeper. She runs towards you, throwing herself to your arms while you hold her. Soon your teammates surround you two, you feel hands on your head and happy screams.

You don't know how it happened but they throw you through the air, chanting your name. Mapi and Ingrid hold your hand the entire time, only letting you go when they said you need to do an interview, to your surprise.

You don't feel your hands, your teary eyes and the adrenaline spreading through your body transport you to your low moments and you tell yourself that you would do all over again to live this moment.

•••

"How do you feel about being the MVP?" Jana lowly said, eyes scanning the trophy on the table.

You two are on the balcony, the night enveloping this moment. The emotion you two feel is too much to go to the bed and try to sleep.

You raised a leg up on the chair, leaning your chin tiredly. "Weird." You say, looking at it like if the trophy has the answer. "It's the first time I've won one." You confess, shrugging.

The dim light of the balcony reflected the small place, Jana's plants surrounding you two, flowers blossoming thanks to the Spring, making it look somewhat romantic and welcoming.

Jana blinks tiredly, brushing the metal under her fingerprint. Her hair is a little humid, falling in small waves at the ends. There is a soft spring breeze, the cold far away from these days in Barcelona.

"The first of many more." She states in a low voice, the corner of her lips turning up. Her eyes find you, her finger left the trophy to pinch your cheek gently, giving a rasp small quiet laugh when you made a face.

Then, the silence followed.

You close your eyes, enjoying the peace around you, the emotions from the match vanishing and the tiredness making its appearance. The smell of the roses and claveles —like she told you—, white carnations being the most prominent. Then, you feel a soft sensation in your hand and without opening your eyes, you know what it is. It's Jana's hand, her fingers tracing the red spots created during the match.

"They are better..." She whispered, who insisted on putting on some cream to calm them. "And soft." Jana finished, keeping tracing your other hand.

You feel her warm travels for your hand, until she intertwines her hand on yours and leaves them on her lap. It's why you opened your eyes, brown eyes on you already. The moment you have your eyes closed, the brunette gets closer towards you, her body leaning up a little on the table, her face gets closer and it is inevitable for you to not drop your eyes to her parted lips.

The corner of her lips turns up again when you raise your gaze, indicating that she notices what you did and the blush of your face getting fresh. Her free hand removed some strand of hair out of your face, tucking them behind your ear in a soft gesture.

"Come here..." She pulls from your holding hand towards herself gently, doing it again when you remain still in your chair. Jana makes you sit on her lap, her hands going to your neck and unexpectedly she kisses you.

There is no rush, it's a soft and gentle pressure against your lips. Your surprise takes the best of you, coming to the reality when her thumbs started to brush your cheeks in a slow motion. You two separate, her hands still on your cheeks and now her nose brushing yours, eyes looking at you patiently and warm, they always are warm.

"I missed your gaze on me." She whispers in your mouth, pecking your nose to start to spread kisses through your cheek.

You don't understand what she means, but your heart is jumping on her ribcage with every kiss Jana is showing on your skin. You look at her dazzled, your hands going up slowly to her face and without thinking too much, lean down to capture her lips on yours.

•••

You enter the changing room with your phone in hand, knitted eyebrows for the call you just received minutes ago. Your feet take you to your spot, sitting on the tiny bench looking through the wall trying to decipher if the call was a joke.

A tap on your shoulder makes you blink, Aitana looks at you unsure.

"You okay?" She asks carefully, standing next to you.

You tilt your head, nodding slowly. "I think so."

Then, your eyes fly to the changing room and notice that everyone is looking at you. You frown, not knowing why they are looking at you. Jana soon is stepping towards you, stopping next to Aitana but she bent down, grabbing your free hand between her hands.

"You sure? You don't look like you are." The brunette state, low voice only for you to hear or Aitana who is standing next to you two.

You take a breath, and nod. "I just received a call..." You said, trailing off while your eyes focus distractedly behind Jana's back.

The team looks at themselves unsure, you don't look that good to them. Alexia steps towards Jana and Aitana, stopping behind the defender.

"What's it good?" Alexia pressed a little, worry spreading on her features.

You look at her, relaxing your face when you take notice of her worry. You cleared your throat, nodding once again. "Sarina Wiegman called me." You confess.

The squeeze on your hand makes you look at Jana, who looks at you surprised. Her eyes are open lightly, lips parted and keep staring at you.

Around you, your teammates started to murmur, clearly surprised as like you.

"But you are Greek." Mapi says out loud what everyone is asking.

"But I lived two years in England and I have the nationality because we thought to stay there longer." You explain, remembering a few of them when you told it to them.

"That's good... Right?" Alexia says, unsure at the end. You start to paint a smile, something about you dreamed but give up a long time ago, it's happening.

"Right." You say, giggling happily.

They don't have time to say congratulating words because Jana throws to your body and forgets about them, grab your face and smash her lips on you.

It's you now who looks surprised, showing it when Jana parted away a few centimetres and realised what she did. Mapi leaves out a dramatic line, throwing threat words towards the brunette while Ingrid holds her arm, the Norwegian spread a grin the moment your eyes meet, relieving you a little for her reaction.

"Another couple..." You heard Alexia leave out in a low voice, making you share a look with your —now exposed— girlfriend and both of you smile.

Bonus

Stirring up, you open your eyes.

Jana's face is centimetres of yours, sleeping peacefully. Her hair is everywhere, mouth half opened and arms wrapped securely around your body.

You smiled sleepily, your heart starting to beat a little faster.

Blindly, you search for your phone and watch the hour, opening your eyes. You leave it under the pillow and come back to watch your girlfriend, raising a finger to her cheek and tracing it, making her stir up a little a few seconds later.

"Awaken already? Come back to sleep." She greets you, voice husky. In your opinion, is your favourite voice. She closed the distance and hid her head on your neck, nose brushing your skin and making you squirm when she leaves a small kiss there.

"I need to go..." You said, a hand going to her hair and start massaging her scalp, a content sigh fell from her lips.

"No. You are staying here with me." Jana whispers, sounding like a stubborn child. Her hands sneak under the old shirt you are wearing, the brunette gives it to you the first night you stay in her apartment.

You roll your eyes painting a smile, her fingers tracing your skin. "I have training and you have a recovery session." You remind, hearing how she left a soft groan.

Jana raised her head from her hiding spot, sleepy eyes looking at you. She leans and presses a kiss to your lips, putting the sheet out of your body and putting herself on top of you between kisses. Your hands fall to her naked shoulders, opening your legs for her to place there.

"I want you for me... We don't have time together since the season is over." She said after she kissed you, frowning.

You give her a knowing look, a teasing smirk creeping on your face. "I'm sorry we are playing in a World Cup, αγάπη..." You said, removing a strand of hair from her face watching how she rolls her eyes.

"I forgive you because you call me amor." Jana smirks when you leave out a sigh for her answer.

Then, she leans to capture your lips again, tongue brushing your lower lip to allow her permission. It's been a long time since you two give up on morning breath. Too distracted to pay attention to another thing, you two missed when someone else opened the bedroom door and only realised it when two different screams were heard.

"Stop perverting my teammate!" Lucy's thick accent showed up, hand on her eyes and leaning to the bathroom's door.

Ona shouts to Jana to put on some clothes when the brunette keeps on top of you not caring that the two see her completely naked.

Jana leaves out a sigh while picking up the t-shirt on the floor, muttering that they saw her like that before and don't understand the problem. However, her arm wraps around your shoulders and brings you towards herself, intertwining her leg with you and covering them with the sheet.

Lucy gives her a look, sitting on the other bed belonging to Ona. Her smirk spread out when notice the daring look on Jana's face.

"I need to take her with me." Lucy speaks up, understanding what her ex-teammate is doing.

Jana brings you closer, muttering at her that it's not happening. Ona rolls her eyes, witnessing the scene for the second time that week. She fears that it wouldn't be the last. The freckled girl steps towards her own bed, sitting next to the British.

"Stop pouting and take a shower, we need to go to recovery." Ona instructed, taking a quick look at her phone to see the hour.

Jana looks at you, a sad look on her brown eyes. You don't like to see that, you know that after she needs to travel to another city where her next match would be. You take a hand to her cheek and murmur that only would be five days.

"It's too much." She whispers only for you to hear, her other arm going to wrap to your waist the moment she leans on your chest, your heartbeat calming her.

You see how Lucy and Ona look at you two incredulous, not understanding the drama. Maybe they pass that phase.

"I'll be yours when it's over. And you would stuck with me the whole season again." You promised, feeling how your phone is vibrating under the pillow.

Jana raised her head, leaning part of her side on your chest. "I would love that." She says, closing the distance and kissing you slowly, once again ignoring your friends.

"Enough! We need to go now." Lucy breaks the moment, standing up and walking to the chair where your national clothes are. She throws it to the bed, hitting you two on your faces. "I'm old for this..." She muttered to herself, walking out of the bedroom.

You give Jana a smile, pecking her lips one last time and picking up your clothes, going to the bathroom with Jana's whining with every step.

Once you are fully wearing your clothes, you come out and Jana still is on her bed, a hand on her eyes spreading out dramatically. Ona begs you with her eyes to help her to make Jana move.

You throw yourself on top of Jana, her arms and legs immediately wrapped around your body and you take this opportunity to take her to the bathroom. "I will miss you too, silly." You say on her lips, happily letting Jana hold the sides of your face to bring you closer.

"σε αγαπώ." She muttered, making you fall in love with her every time she said them.

"T'estimo." You repeat the same words but in her language.

Ona makes a grimace, typing on the group chat that she never is going to be roommates with Jana again.

[alexiabae]

Are you working on anything at the moment? Love your fics!

Yes! I am working on a Aitana fic and I had an idea for an incoming Ana Crnogočević fic.

Thank you, it helps to continue writing😊

[alexiabae]

Hey love your writing!!! Could you possibly write something else for ana-maria crnogorcevic? xx

Hello!

Thank you so much🥰

I have some things for her in mind. It would take some time to update it. :)

[alexiabae]

Hello, are you Spanish? You use a lot of Spanish phrases in your fics haha

Hi! Yes, I'm Spanish.

[alexiabae]

SHOOTING STAR; fridolina rolfö x fem!reader

Summary: a new scandinavian player arrives at the fc barcelona femení. or frido developing a crush on y/n.

Warnings: questioning sexuality, frido(29 years old) crushing in a young player (22 years old), slow burn, very long, +18.

Note: English is not my first language.

not my gif.

FINNISH STRIKER SIGNED FOR FC BARCELONA FEMENÍ.

Y/N Y/L/N, the revolution of Finland came to reinforce the attack in the blaugrana club. The 22 years old player, born in Helsinki and formed in the youth academy of PK-35 Vantaa, came calling the attention from various and potentially big teams. Scoring in almost every match she played for PK-35 Vantaa did not guarantee them the title league. We saw too how in the last European cup she was bright with her National team, scoring to Spain in the first seconds of the match, sadly Finland didn't pass to the next round, but Y/N earned the attention with the minutes played in only three matches.

Finally, she decided to stay another year with the team to choose for her at an early age. But this year, Y/N wanted to explore her football in another club, allowing too to PK-35 Vantaa to earn a amount of money for her departure, a win-win for everyone.

Y/N opt for Barcelona to progress. After a lot of rumours that she would sign for Olympique Lyon, Wolfsburg and the potential one, Chelsea, she finally chose the Condal team.

The Finnish girl answered beaming when the journalist asked her why she opted for Barcelona:

"Well, I chose this team basically because I'm a big fan of this team. Maybe it's a cliché but when they offer me a contract, I don't want to know about other teams. I'm a culé." She finished giggling, shrugging.

We can wait for her next chapter in Barcelona. We know for sure it's a big signing and wishing her all the best in this club.

"We have another Scandinavian on the team." Patri hummed content when Mapi finished reading the article.

"I'm happy she came here. I have followed her for a long time and I can't wait to play with her." Ingrid commented, sipping from her coffee.

"Since when?" Mapi asked, frowning. She raised her head to look at her.

Patri and Claudia shared a knowing look, suppressing a smirk.

"Since she stands out with her numbers in a small league." Ingrid explained. "Also I follow Scandinavian leagues." She shrugged.

Mapi raised an eyebrow, making Ingrid scoff.

"I watched some videos of her and she is a good player." Claudia opined, scrolling on her phone.

"Jona informed us before she will join us tomorrow, just like Frido, Lucy and Keira." Mapi commented. The rest of the players who assisted the world cup joined them that day.

They are waiting for the next training session. The team finished the Mexican preseason a few days ago, the new signing was announced when they were in Mexico, but it was a good surprise to close the preseason.

"I can't wait for them to come back." Patri said, missing her friends.

At that moment, Alexia and Jana sat down on their table. "¿De qué estamos hablando?" Alexia asked, letting her phone on the table.

"About who Patri missing Keira and Ingrid following the Scandinavian league." Mapi teases a little, earning a roll of eyes from the mentioned and a laugh from Claudia.

"I follow that league too." Alexia murmured, letting the spoon on the plate, sipping from her coffee.

Mapi scoffed. "Of course you do, it didn't surprise us." Alexia slapped her arm playfully, her friends chuckling by the interaction.

Ingrid and Alexia started a conversation about the Scandinavian league, while the others began to talk about trivial things.

•••

"You know? You don't need to be here now." Jona joked, his arms crossed.

Alexia rolls her eyes, but remains on the spot. "I'm doing captains duty. That's all." She murmured.

"I'm not doubting that." He teased, smirking.

"You all are insufferable." Alexia muttered, leaning her back on the wall.

Jonatan laughed, patting her shoulder gently. At that moment, a new person approached the big doors, where Jonatan and Alexia were.

"Hello, Y/N! Nice to see you again." Jona greeted his new player, extending his hand and stretching it when the player accepted his hand. Y/N shyly greets him too. He patted her shoulder gently. "She is Alexia, she is here doing captains duty." He inevitably teases a little.

Y/N watched how her new captain blushed a little while trying to maintain a firm expression. "Hi. Nice to meet you." The Catalan copied her coach action and extended a hand.

The Finnish accept it, trying too to hide her excitement to see for the first time the Spanish player.

"Nice to meet you too." She cleared her throat, not liking how it sounded in another language, maybe because she isn't used to it.

Jona offered to enter the big building, one inside he started to explain some things, Alexia flying next to the new player, letting their coach give the necessary information.

"We are going to the meeting room. We will study our first opponent." He gave her a friendly smile, opening a door to his right. Jona entered where soft chats were heard.

"Come with me." Alexia gently said next to her. The Finnish follows her like a lost child, well it's how she feels now. Y/N looks to the ground, not wanting to meet the curious eyes from her new teammates. "Here." She said, sitting next to another person. Y/N looked at her and saw how the brunette patted the seat next to her left.

She sat down, letting her backpack on her feet. "Damn, you're tall." The girl next to Alexia murmured, gaining Y/N's attention. She saw how the girl next to her left smacked her arm.

"Sorry. But I'm afraid to say that you will get used to it. I'm Ingrid." Y/N let out a tiny chuckle by the other's comment.

"Hallo, I'm Y/N." The Finnish introduced herself, waving softly with her left hand to the two girls.

"María, but everyone calls me Mapi." The tattooed girl introduced herself with a cheeky smile, waving too. "By the way, this one is a big fan of you." She exposed the tall brunette, who started to blush, giving a death glare to the Spanish defender, who still has her cheeky smile.

Y/N matches Ingrid's and plays briefly with her hair, giggling awkwardly. "Thanks... You are an amazing player to play against." She awkwardly compliments, remembering the last encounter she played against Norway.

Ingrid flashed her a kind smile.

"Fan girl moment..." Mapi whispered, gasping when Ingrid smacked her again, this time hard.

Alexia gave her an apologetic smile.

Jona claps to gain their attention and once he has, the explanations start. Y/N felt lost, she barely caught anything and she felt relieved every time approach a video on the white board. Alexia notices it and resumes her in a low voice the best she can, mistaking sometimes making the brunette blush for it. Y/N appreciate her efforts, clearly she understood more now thanks to her.

"Don't worry, he will explain it again to you." Alexia shyly said to her after it finished.

Y/N sighed relief. After all, it is her first time in a team out of Finland.

"Thank you. You help me a lot." Her accent showed up, something that will occur for a while.

Alexia chuckled, finding her accent adorable, but she doesn't say anything, noticing that her new teammate is shy and she better knows how she feels.

"I'm glad. And if you need it, don't be afraid to ask." She kindly said, standing up. Y/N copied her.

Soon they are surrounded by a few of them. "Hi! I'm Aitana." A short brunette introduced herself, a gentle grin plastered on her face. And the rest followed her.

"We have another Nordic! We will soon complete the collection." The one who introduced herself with the name Patri said cheekily.

A warning by Alexia and a dissimulated laughter by their teammates, the Balear smiled to Y/N sheepishly.

Y/N chuckles. "I'm glad to contribute to the collection." She murmured, following Patri's joke.

"See Ale." Patri showed her tongue to the midfielder and passed an arm by Y/N's shoulder, surprising her, the cheerful brunette too distracted to notice it. But someone else notices.

"It's shocking at first." A strong but kind voice murmured to her side. Y/N turned to look at her, seeing one of her favourite players and not knowing if it was more shocking than Patri's affection. "I'm Caroline, but call me Caro."

Y/N saw for a few seconds the hand she extended towards her, blinking repeatedly when she awake from her brief fan state.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N." Y/N slowly said, shaking her hand kindly and repeating once again the same sentences.

"I guess you are having your fan girl moment now..." Mapi whispered to her when Patri moved out. Y/N feels a warm creep to her cheeks and sees the same cheeky smile on Mapi's face.

"Ingrid, please! Take your tamagochi to another place." Alexia intervened quickly when she noticed Y/N's behaviour. A lot of laughter was heard by this comment, Mapi frowning for the name her friend called her. Y/N bit her lip, holding a smile.

Ingrid lets the conversation with two people and approaches them with a done look. "Let's go baby." The brunette wraps an arm around Mapi's shoulder and walks with her outside, ignoring her complaints.

Alexia turned around to Y/N again. "Are you okay?" She asked, her careless side showing up.

The tall girl nods. "I am okay." She verbalise.

"Training will start soon, do you know where it is?" Mariona announced, asking later to the new girl and laughed softly when saw the thinking face. "Let's go, I will accompany you." She offered.

Y/N follows the Balear to the exit. Footsteps were heard behind them, following too but taking another way. Mariona starts a conversation, asking if everything is going well since she is in the city, when Y/N was in the middle of the explanation, someone behind them approached.

"Sorry, I forget my shin pads." A new voice for Y/N spoke. The tall blonde was trying to pass them quickly when she noticed the new face alongside Mariona, stopping herself. "Hiii! You must be Y/N, nice to meet you. I'm Frido." Her blue eyes scanned the tall young woman in front of her. She heard and read great things about this player.

Y/N nods, giving her a lipped smile. "That's me! Nice to meet you too." She murmured, waving shyly.

Frido chuckles, waving too.

Mariona started walking again, resuming the way. "Here we are." She said, making her point with a move of her hand. She opened the door. "I doubt you knew your dorsal number..." Mariona asked doubtful, Y/N confirmed it with a move of her head. "Alright, you can sit down between me and Claudia." She proposed, signaling with her index finger.

The blonde walked behind them to her cubby, searching for her shin pads that are in her backpack. Hearing how Mariona explained a few things about how some things work there. She grabs it and watches the two girls, her gaze fixing on the tall one.

"Okay. I'll let you change, I'll be waiting outside." The Balear offers, patting Y/N's shoulder. "You coming?" She asked Frido.

Frido nods. "Yeah." She smiled at Y/N before she got outside, leaning her back on the wall. Mariona copying her.

•••

"Okay, in pairs now!" Jonatan ordered, whistling.

Y/N breath heavily, putting both hands on her knees. She looks at her surroundings, seeing how slowly they find their partner.

"¡Me voy con la nueva!" Y/N heard someone exclaim, of course not understanding anything. "Hey! Do you want to be my partner?" Her Spanish accent showed up.

"Yes." Y/N said, following the girl when she confirmed.

"By the way, I'm Ona." The freckled girl said, grinning.

For Y/N, it's a weird name, never heard it before, but she liked it. "I'm Y/N." She introduced too.

Ona indicates with her index finger to where they need to go and jogs to the other part, Y/N following behind. The rest of the training, Ona helps Y/N whatever their coach instructor them to do the next exercise.

"You are good." Ona compliments her, panting. Her hands searching support on her hips, giving her new teammate a smirk.

"Thanks. You are a difficult one to pass." The Finnish compliment her too, the warmth on her cheeks remaining from the heat.

The freckled girl chuckled, walking to grab a water bottle, grabbing another for Y/N. She throws it at her, who catches it easily.

"I want to do the next drills with you." Patri walked by their side, commenting with an amazement on her face. She gave a big sip to her water bottle.

"We need to discuss that." Another brunette comment behind Patri. She gave a warm smile to Y/N when she turned to look at her. "Claudia." She simply said, waving with a hand. Y/N reciprocates the greeting.

"Everyone here calls her Pina." Patri clarified. "I can give you some nicknames from some of us..." she thought to herself, making Y/N hold a smile.

"Leave her alone, annoying girl." A thick accent smugly said. Y/N saw Lucy Bronze pass an arm around Patri's shoulder. She can't believe she is a few centimeters from someone like her, but then she remembers that she met Alexia, Caro or Mapi.

"I'm not annoying!" Patri gasped, making Lucy laugh. "Well, we call her Lucia Roberta." The brunette said, teasing her friend. Soon, a hand flew to her head and smacked it, making the other laugh. Actually Y/N felt entertainment with them.

"She is known here by pepino." Lucy said back, laughing when saw Y/N's confused face. "It's a cucumber." She explained, seeing how she painted a smile when she understood it.

"Do you have a nickname?" Claudia asked, curious.

Before Y/N could answer, someone else did it for her. "Yeah. She is known by shooting star." Ingrid approached behind, commenting on it excitedly. When everyone turned to look at her, she blushed. "Sorry, I'm a big fan of Nordic's leagues..."

Y/N chuckles, calmly.

"That's truth?" Ona asks, curiosity written on her face.

The Finnish nodded. "It's a silly story..." she trailed off, scratching the back of her head.

"I like it!" Patri exclaimed, delighted by the nickname. Of course she notices Y/N wasn't shared, almost now, the meaning of the nickname, so the Balear brings attention to her.

"I agree with her. Actually I think it is the best nickname right now..." Claudia comments, smiling.

"Better than la reina? I doubt it..." Y/N joked lowly, making them laugh. She cleared her throat again when pronounced something in Spanish and she didn't like it.

They keep talking, making light conversation while they come back to the changing room. The little group always involves Y/N on it, even if only to say the answer with a yes or no, the tall girl felt grateful for their efforts.

Y/N trailed behind them alongside Lucy, the British keeping an eye on the new, knowing very well how she feels when you are in a new country and a different language.

"How are you feeling on your first day?" Lucy spoke, slowly. She tried to not speak fast to make the other understand her.

Y/N turned to look at her, seeing a smile on the brunette's face. "I'm feeling really good. Better than I thought..." she chuckled a little at the end.

"Why?" The defender imitates.

The Finnish bit her bottom lip, nervous. "Well... I'm afraid because I need to speak another language, learn the main one quickly and it scares me to make a mistake, even knowing that it will help me in the future... I'm around big names, players that I admired from a long time ago, I don't know... it's a lot of things. Sorry." Y/N said fast and lowly, her gaze looking everywhere but her teammate.

Lucy put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her and herself. She wears a worried look on her face. "Don't put yourself in so much pressure." She kindly said. After giving a sight, she continued speaking. "I know what you are talking about. But I don't know why, I feel you care what others think..." she said carefully, the blush on Y/N's cheeks confirm her theory. "Okay, you need to focus on yourself, they don't matter. Keep on your way without thoughts from other people getting to you." She advised the best she could, already taking the tall girl under her wing.

Y/N nods, walking again when the brunette pushes her softly towards the changing room entry.

•••

A nervous sigh escaped from her mouth.

She jumps on her spot a few times, stretching too.

Y/N is going to be sub on right now, her first time playing on this time and in front of a big crowd.

Jona reassured her after giving his tactics to her, promising that everything will be okay. It helps her more than he expects.

Her gaze saw how the fourth referee put on the black board and showed the numbers. 17 - 20.

Oshoala jogs when she notices she is the sub off this time. Claps from the people on the stands resound in the stadium.

The forward showed a pearly smile to Y/N raising her hands at her.

The tall girl raised her hands too and they high five, Oshoala giving her some encouragement words.

Y/N ran fastly to her position, shaking some hands from her teammates, who gave her support words too. She waited for the rival goalkeeper to move on the ball again.

The goalkeeper put the ball on with a long shot, sending it to the midfield. The ball stays on the rival team but is pressured by the barça players.

Ingrid stopped the attack, passing the ball to Mapi. They will build a new attack, starting from the defenders. The Aragonese sent the ball to Ona, who ran with it and passed to Mariona.

Y/N was near her and Salma too. So she ran to the area but stopped shortly when the opponent quit off the ball from Mariona's feet.

It does not take too long to have the ball again, this time thanks to Lucy, who saw Aitana slip and pass the ball to her. Y/N's mind ran a mile per hour, creating some possible tactics to bring up. Until she found one. A risk one.

Aitana saw Y/N has someone behind her and chose to pass the ball to Caro. In Y/N's mind is needed to be right now, so she raised her hand up, she still isn't into the area, but she can win the battle with her shadow, only if the blonde trusts her.

The blue eyes focus on her and not seeing other options that are her or herself, the probabilities they scored is by Y/N, so dribbles easily the central winger and centres the ball.

Y/N knows who is behind her, so taking advantage of the stature, she catches the ball easily and dribbles it to the defender, another person shoots the ball to the goal, but of course they don't think that if they did it, the goalkeeper could catch it easily. So Y/N, who thinks about it, feint she will shoot but not, she passes the ball behind her, letting Alexia shoot it in the upper corner.

The people on the stands stood up, shouting happily. The Finnish saw how Alexia turned to look at her immediately, jogging towards her with an incredulous look.

"Why didn't you shoot?" She asked once she was near her, wrapping her left arm around her middle section, since Y/N is taller than her.

Y/N shrugged, giving her a sheepish smile.

A bunch of arms wrapped around them, jumping on their backs. A lot of compliments by them give Y/N more confidence.

Frido, is one of the few who can match Y/N's height, give her a cheeky smile, wrapping an arm on her neck and giving a strong hug, wrapping the other on Alexia's too.

"Det du har gjort gört inte alla." Frido muttered, still with the cheeky smile on her face. Clearly she said it to only Y/N, even if Alexia could hear her and don't understand her.

"I'm not like everybody." Y/N answer in English to let her captain have a concept about what their teammate said. The blonde to help Y/N get more comfortable speaks to her in her native language, since the Finnish can understand and speak to her in it too.

Frido shakes her head with her impeccable smile and jogs away, not without kissing Alexia's forehead and a pat on Y/N's shoulder.

"Next time you score, okay?" Alexia said firm, but gently.

"We are winning by three goals... but okay, barcelona mentality." Y/N murmured, going to her position and letting an amused Alexia go to hers.

•••

After that match, where Y/N gives an assist and a goal, the team walks to the bus, since they are playing like visiting another city.

Usually Y/N sits down at the end in a corner alone, not enjoying the multitude so much. So taking her routine, she did it. She lets out a tired but content sigh when she sits down.

Her gaze focuses on her teammates who steps up in the bus, light chat. She notices how the Spanish ones wear a tired expression but always with welcome words and kind smiles. She can't imagine what they are passing right now.

"Is this seat available?" A strong Spanish accent said, breaking her thoughts. Mapi stood up in front of her, her backpack on her back and her hands in either pocket while giving her an innocent smile.

Y/N can't explain how much Mapi's constant interest in her means. The defender always has an eye on her, usually to say a funny comment.

"Ok." She agreed, moving her backpack from the next seat to her. Mapi let out a grunt, stretching her arms when she sat down. "Väsynyt?" She asked, chuckling lowly when the Aragonese looked at her confused. "Tired?" She asked this time in English.

"Ahh, yes. But I'm happy with the first three points." She commented, putting both hands on her mouth and hiding a yawn.

Her eyes move apart when Mapi grabs her phone. She saw how Ingrid was sitting next to Frido, both of them giving their backs. Still, Y/N can see their profiles. She didn't know why, but seeing Frido's constant smile make her relax. She noticed the last couple days, how calm she felt around the tall blonde. She leaned her head, relaxing and while her mind was flying away from there, her gaze was still on the tall blonde.

"When do you have your fly?" Mapi interrupted the silence, making Y/N think about it.

"At 18:45. I landed tonight." Y/N murmured, in a sleepy tone.

"I don't know if someone explains the rules when it is a national camp, but when you are in the place or city, you write a text to the group chat." The defender says.

Y/N frowns. "Why?" She asks confused.

"Because we can sleep better. It's a simple emoji to let the others know." Mapi explains, shrugging.

"If I forget about it... I've been in trouble?" She asks, unsure.

Mapi chuckles. "At first not. Only it counts after a few months."

They keep talking a lot more, starting for a simple conversation to know each other better. That's it until Lucy and Claudia had another plan.

"Hola amigas." Lucy said, smiling. Her voice changed to pronounce it correctly. She sits down in the row before them, Claudia sitting next to Mapi.

"What do you want?" Mapi asks directly, giving her an inquisitive look.

Lucy rolls her eyes. "Can I be friendly?"

"No." Claudia and Mapi answered at the same time, making Y/N giggles and Lucy gaps.

"Well, for your interest, me and Claudia want to play cards, but anyone else wants to play. So... do you two want?" The British asked, leaning her chin on the back seat.

Y/N shrugged and looked at Mapi, letting her decide the final choice. The Spanish defender sighed and looked briefly at Y/N. "Bring your ass here, Bronze. I will kick your ass."

Lucy squeals excited, sitting in front of them and Claudia doing the same. "Also, please repeat the word ass once again." She teased, making Mapi throw something at her.

The four keep playing until they go to the airport, the two pairs winning a few of them and Lucy and Mapi with a constant challenge.

This time, Mapi sat down with Ingrid after she asked if it was okay to wander by herself, something Y/N reassured her until the defender went out with an unsure look, making the Finnish laugh by her behaviour.

"Seems we will be together on this fly." Someone comments behind her, when Y/N was putting her suitcase up. She recognised the voice.

"Weird not seeing you with Ingrid." Y/N teases a little, sitting near the window.

Frido chuckles, copying what Y/N did before with her suitcase. "She prefers another right now." She dramatically said, throwing herself in the seat next to Y/N giving a cheeky smile when this one let out a muffled laugh.

"Är jag ditt sista alternativ då?" She feigned being offended, doing emphasis putting a hand on her chest.

"Ei koskaan." Frido said in a thinking face, remembering some Finnish words.

Y/N opens her eyes surprised. She didn't think that Frido knew Finnish or remember some words. "You said that to everybody?" She whispers, leaning to her a little to pretend nobody could hear her.

The blonde giggles. "Only cute people like you." Her blue eyes scanned her expression, biting her contagious smile.

•••

"WHAT. A. GOAL!"

"SHE IS CRAZY! HOW CAN YOU SCORE FROM THAT LONG?!"

"THE FINLAND'S STAR DID IT AGAIN!"

"WE UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYONE CALL HER SHOOTING STAR!!!"

Frido looks stunned by the screen of her phone, not believing what she is watching.

She found herself alone in her bedroom and seeing she has some free time, decided to put herself the Finland's match. The Nordic country was losing but not for too much, only 0-1 giving the advantage to Canada.

And then, without waiting for it, Y/N scored from the midfielder in a hard shoot. Nobody could guess she will be doing that, apparently the Canadian players are in their position, but clearly she was wrong. Frido saw how all Finnish players throw themselves on Y/N, hugging and cheering her proudly.

The Swedish know how lucky her team club has to have someone like her. And Finland too, standing out.

A knock interrupted her thoughts, humming a coming to whatever it is. She saw how Magda and Stina walked inside, the forward sitting on her bed next to her and watching whatever Frido is seeing.

"A match? Who is it?" Stina asked curiously, trying to decipher the opponents.

"Finland and Canada" Frido mumbled. "You lost one of the best goals." Also she comments, a concentration face looking at the screen.

Magda sat down to her other side and looked briefly at the device. "Not for being disrespectful... but since are you interested in that match?"

It's that comment that makes her lose her concentration, not knowing very well but starting feeling nervous. She cleared her throat.

"Well... my new teammate is Finnish and Ingrid always praises her football. I saw her during training and in a match and I can say how good she is... I wanted to see how she plays with her national team and it's a wonderful player." Frido says with a hint of admiration, something Magda catches quickly.

The defender hummed and stayed looking at her for a few seconds, trying to read her features and she noticed it's been a long time since she looked like that. If Stina notices it too, she looks or acts distracted.

"Whoa! She scored that?!" Stina exclaimed when they put again the repetition from Y/N's goal. Magda looked again at the screen and got really impressed by that goal.

"Já! That's an amazing goal..." Magda whispered, hearing Frido giggles by their comments.

They stayed watching the game a little more before they went to training, they came back from Spain the same day they had the match. Then, they will be traveling to Italy in a few days.

Before Frido left her phone in her bedroom, she congratulated Y/N by her goal, feeling a little weird. Usually she is always congratulated when her teammates did an amazing match, but with the tall girl, it's a different feeling. She pushed it away in her mind and went outside where Stina started singing loudly in the form of protest by Frido's delay.

When she comes back to her bedroom and sees her phone, a lot of notifications appear on her screen. The majority of the group chat about her club, so she pressed it, taking her to the top when it started. Ingrid was the first, sending a video. Showing Y/N beautiful goal. The others comments were from the others complimenting her, laughing in a few of them by their antics.

Then, after she wrote an answer and exited from the group, saw Y/N text her back. She pressed her chat.

Another tall ^^

Hallo!

Thank you, it came naturally I guess.

By the way I watched the highlights and it was a great match, I'm sure Sweden will pass to the next round. 💪

Frido typed a few words back, the smile never leaving her face.

"Recently you are smiling a lot more... everything is going good, uhh?" Stina entered with Nathalie, who is Frido's roommate. The tall blonde raised her head and saw the teasing smirk on Stina's face.

"Perfect..." Frido muttered, rolling her eyes and giving a sarcastic smile, matching her words.

Stina doesn't wait for that answer at all. "What? Are you two still together, right?" She asks, confused.

"Yes, we are." Frido said in a low voice, type said person. Her eyes read what he said and her mind was very distracted.

Nathalie and Stina exchange a look. The forward decided to let that conversation in another moment and alone. So she kissed her head, since the barça player was sitting on the bed and walked away after saying goodbye to the other roommate.

"I'm going to talk with Aurora." Nathalie informed her, giving a sympathetic look, even if the tall blonde wasn't looking at her.

Frido hummed an affirmation and laid down and thinking how fucked she is right now.

•••

"BONDING TIME TONIGHT!" Patri shouted in the changing room after the last practice that day.

Cheering was heard, matching her enthusiasm. It's been a long time since they had one. Actually it's the first one in this season.

Y/N watch with a smile how they started to speak loudly, proposing some games and films to see. Her Spanish is better, she understood more than she speaks. Sure it helps when Mapi is basically speaking it all the time next to her, only switching to English when Y/N really struggled to understand.

"We are going to go for you and come with us, okay?" Mapi approached Y/N and leaned on the wall next to her, crossing her arms.

"Do I have a choice?" She inevitably joked, already loving the bond they created.

Mapi smiled sarcastically and shook her head. "And less if Ingrid is involved." Y/N chuckles, conscious about the admiration that the tall brunette felt about her, she can't believe someone like Ingrid feels like that towards her, but she feels grateful.

"I'm going with you two for Ingrid, you knew it right?" The Finnish said, standing up and looking down at Mapi.

"Of course." The defender muttered, patting her shoulder gently. "Be ready, I have enough with that one." She grumpily said, making Y/N laugh quietly.

When the forward starts to walk to the exit after saying goodbye to a few of them, Alexia stopped her.

"Are you going to be okay going with them?" She asks kindly, knowing very well how Mapi sometimes could be overwhelming.

Y/N nods, smiling. "Yeah."

Alexia smiled too and parted away, going to their respective apartments.

The time she has free time, the group chat can't stop sounding, a lot of texts coming from her teammates proposing things to do or simply texting about what they can bring tonight.

Y/N relaxed reading her book she started the first of that month until she needed to start to be ready. She decided on something comfortable and light, since still in Barcelona the weather is warm, something Y/N doesn't get used to.

Mapi texted her like an hour before, warning her she needed to be ready for her sake, knowing very well that Ingrid could still be choosing the outfit. So the Finnish got ready in time and waited patiently in her balcony, seeing the sun get down and appreciating the sunset, taking some photos and sending it to her family.

"Wow, you look like another person." Mapi whistled when she saw her coming out from her building.

Y/N blushed and avoided their gazes, gaining the soft chuckle of Mapi when she entered.

"Quiero decir, que estás muy guapa con ese look." Mapi chose to say it in Spanish, her voice sounding more soft. Clearly Y/N doesn't understand her and Ingrid translates it.

The shade of the colour of her cheeks turns more crimson while she whispered a thank you and watched the city by the window. The striker heard how the couple kept a small conversation, or better say, Mapi whining and begging about next time Ingrid doesn't take too long to get prepared, to which the Norwegian didn't promise anything with a teasing smirk, for Mapi desperation.

After they parked the car, they got to the building, got to the elevator and the couple were begging Y/N to take a photo with them, the three approached Patri's door where they could hear some commotion.

"¿Cásate conmigo?" Patri says in a shocked face, looking up and down at Y/N, making this one continuing blushing, fortunately for the Balear, Y/N doesn't understand her, but the pair behind her were another case. They laughed and started making fun of the midfielder.

Mapi put a hand in Y/N back and pushed her softly into the apartment through Patri whining and cursing.

"This is going to be fun..." the defender muttered at Ingrid with a smirk.

Y/N saw how Claudia is walking towards them and asking Patri why she has that look on her face, in which Mapi gladly explained in detail what happened. The Finnish is still lost, but she is guessing that soon she will find out. So she walked guided by Mapi where a big group were sitting or standing up while they talked.

"Great! We are the last one, again!" The Aragonese let out a sarcastic comment and went towards Marta and Irene, joining the improvised defender squad.

Ingrid huffed and muttered something Y/N could understand because she had some knowledge in Norwegian and laughed quietly, sharing a look with the brunette.

"She is lucky that I love her..." Ingrid commented jokingly at Y/N.

"Next time Y/N is coming with me." Someone else comments behind them while putting a hand in her shoulder and squeezing it.

Lucy gave her a warm smile and hugged her. "Good luck with that one." Ingrid said pointing with her head to where Mapi is sharing the recent behaviour of her teammate with a smirk.

The British snorted. "I can deal with her. By the way, you look stunning, I'm regretting being taken now..." Y/N hit her arm softly, gaining Lucy's laugh. Ingrid rolled her eyes but a smile remained on her face.

"I heard you." Keira emerged from the kitchen and wore a teasing look that was directed to Lucy. She stood next to them with her arms crossed.

"Babe... look at her." Lucy whispered like if the other two weren't there. The defender after the hug remained an arm around her shoulder, so it can't be unnoticed by Y/N.

The midfielder did what Lucy said and moved her gaze towards the tall girl. Her jaw dropped to the floor and her eyes going up and down, like Patri did before.

Keira blushed, making her girlfriend laugh for her reaction. Y/N actually finds it funny and adorable for her part.

"Shut up." Keira muttered and pushed her.

"Everyone!" For Keira's luck, Patri calls to gain their attention. She put herself in front of the TV. "Okay, we will start now since we all are here. Please, go to sit down while me and some of you bring the snack." The Balear announces, walking to the kitchen with some of them going with her, Y/N excusing the three to help her, her nature of helping people wanting to show up.

But Lucy has another plan and with a smile grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "Nop. You are the new one. Keira here can go to help her favourite person." The defender gave a cheeky smile to the British midfielder, who rolled her eyes but didn't say anything and went to the kitchen, whispering some cursing to her girlfriend.

"You are so mean to her." Ingrid teases, starting to walk to an empty couch but getting distracted soon when she sees her tall blonde friend.

Lucy follows Ingrid still with the hold in Y/N wrist. The defender sat down, bringing Y/N to sit down next to her.

"Do you see how hot Y/N looked?" The thick accent from Lucy interrupted the conversation between the nordics.

Y/N rolls her eyes and blush when felt the blue eyes fix her eyes on her. The Finnish cleared her throat and punched softly to Lucy.

Frido noticed how she held her breath for a moment. Her gaze looks over her features, and she can't avoid how beautiful Y/N looks.

"Lucy's right. You look... beautiful." The Swedish decided to change the last word for that one, but internally agreeing with her friend that she looks hot.

The striker gave her a shy smile, seeing how her coloured eyes lost the battle with her pupils. Y/N read about the symptoms when someone likes the person they see, and that's one of them.

The visual contact finished when Ingrid sat down between Frido and Y/N, the last one moving her eyes awkwardly for the room, looking at Lucy when she heard how the other let out a soft laugh.

"What?" Y/N asked lowly.

Lucy shrugs and passes an arm around her shoulder while giving a sip to her cup. Before Y/N could ask again, Mapi threw herself at them, gaining the protest from Ingrid and Lucy.

"Do you think I didn't sit down here?" Mapi asks rhetorically.

"You need to learn to be away from her..." Lucy muttered, looking at the TV waiting for Patri to put the chosen film. But her smirk betrayed her.

Mapi frowned and sat down better between Ingrid and Y/N. "And let you win? Never, Y/N has better taste."

The laugh that let out Lucy make the attention brought to them and muffled the gasp Ingrid let out. Y/N hold her laugh, not thinking that the last comment was directed towards her and not her girlfriend, guessing too that Lucy had the same thought.

"It's amazing how she passed to tease me about my admiration for her to be the only one fighting by her attention." Ingrid muttered, crossing her arms and feigning being offended.

Mapi turned to look at her with a sheepish smile and threw her arms around her neck, kissing her head a few times. Y/N let out the laughter she held when Mapi didn't deny it, joining Lucy.

Frido's eyes brightened when she heard her laugh. The blonde was laughing too, but slowly it died to enjoy and contemplate her. The loud chat when the defender explains what happened was muffled by her melodic laugh.

But soon got interrupted when someone yelled to shut them up and pay attention to the film. Her blue eyes scanned a few more moments on her figure and then fixed it on the TV. The place where she was sitting was full, five of them sitting there, even if Mapi was more laying in Ingrid's lap, still she is on the sofa, putting more distance between her and Y/N.

The first film passed with all of them in silence, maybe some comments with the near person, but mostly they are paying attention. When it finishes, some of them take the opportunity to go to the bathroom, something Y/N did. She walked quickly to it when Aitana got out.

The blonde thought twice before she stood up and walked to the bathroom, waiting outside. She knew it was a riskier move, but Frido felt like a magnet when it comes to Y/N. She just wanted to have some little time alone with her.

When Y/N opened the door, she felt surprised to see her standing there, a shy look on her face. She stopped in the entry, her hand leaning on the frame.

"Hallo..." Frido lowly said, putting both hands on her pant's pocket.

Y/N felt goosebumps when she heard that simple word with her Swedish accent. "Hey." She greeted her too, crossing her arms. Frido could hear how some of them were getting near them and not wanting to go without exchanging some more words with her, in a bold move, she quit off her hands from her pockets and kindly pushed Y/N inside of the bathroom, again. She closes the door softly.

"Sorry about that..." Frido apologizes when notices what she did. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Just wanted to pass some time with you." She confessed, a little embarrassed to say it loud.

The Finnish's heart softens up to see the blonde like that. Y/N didn't know what force made her do the next move, but she grabbed her face between her hands and smashed her lips on hers.

Frido's eyes opened, but relaxed considerably after processing what Y/N did. Her hands came back to her waist but this time it remained there. The kiss is short and awkward. Y/N was going to apologise once they separated, but Frido has another plan and decides to muffle the apologies with her mouth.

This time the blonde deepened it, kissing her with conviction. Her grip on her waist tightening and bringing her closer to her. Y/N's hands proceed to lose on her blonde hair, pushing softly towards her. Once again they separated, this time for air. With every kiss, their mind got more fuzzy and their lips more swollen. It's when Y/N let out a low moan that Frido got braver and kissed her vehemently, turned on only to hear her doing that. She pushed her a little too hard on the bathroom door, biting her bottom lip in the process and sneak in her tongue in her mouth.

Maybe they are in their world at this moment, but the others heard the noise provoked by Frido unintentionally and some of them went to investigate.

The girls separated abruptly when someone from outside knocked. They look at each other alarmed. "Hey! Everything okay?" Alexia asks.

Frido whispered something at Y/N in Swedish, this one nodded with her head slowly. They fully separate this time, even if neither of them wanted. The Finnish fix the blonde hair with a smile, seeing how her cheeks change of colour. She saw too how swollen her lips looked, she imagined her lips matched hers.

"Sorry! I'm helping Y/N to find her earrings." Frido lied, she opened the door and showing it to Alexia and Patri with a convincing smile. The blonde extended it to Y/N.

"Shit, for a moment we worried." Patri muttered.

The four walked back to the living room, going to where they previously sat down. Lucy was talking with the couple until Y/N removed her legs from the spot where she was sitting, a pout making her way on her face. It was before she started to protest that she noticed something. The British opened her mouth to speak, but nothing was saying. However she gave her a smirk and resumed the conversation with the other two.

•••

The days passed, Frido and Y/N started to share some kisses in the changing room behind their teammates back. Their bond is getting stronger by the time, sharing moments outside the pitch too. Frido always has a plan to spend more time with the Finnish girl, at the same time the nights for her turned a war in her head. She is enjoying her time with Y/N, but the reality is far away from the truth.

It showed after a month how the darkness down her crystal eyes deeper with every day passed. The first ones in notices of course were Y/N and Ingrid, but the blonde always replied with a cheeky smile and saying she is okay. Frido knew when she realised what happened, she was screwed up. Plus, it is her first time with a woman, going through a simple crush in the past to actually kiss one.

It's a lot right now.

A hand on her chin made her break the train of thought and raised her head to see the guilty or the saviour.

"Jag kan höra dina tankar på långt håll." Y/N said with a sad smile. She knows something happened and feels she has a big part in it.

Frido shakes her head and reassures her that it is okay. Not wanting to bring her to her intern problem. "I need to be quieter I guess." She joked, standing up and grabbing the hand resting in her chin with hers, walking to a quieter place, before she inspected the area to see if some of them were paying attention.

"You don't need to worry about me, kärlek." Frido whispered in her mouth once she closed the door, pressing Y/N's back on the wall, putting both hands on her sides.

Y/N smiled when she heard how the blonde called her, putting her hands behind her back and giving her an innocent gesture. "Then, don't give me a reason for it." She teased her a little, giggling when Frido started trickling briefly her sides.

Her lips ghosted Y/N's and was the Finnish who closed the gap when grabbed her collar with her hands and smashed their lips.

"Jag älskar att du alltid initierar kyssen." Frido muttered, to later kiss her fervently.

"You do it on purpose to be me who kisses you first." Y/N muttered too once they separated from the intense moment.

"My fault." Frido innocently said, pecking her nose. "By the way, I have a plan to spend this afternoon together... are you in?" She asks, hopefully the other confirms it.

Y/N did like she is thinking about it, pretending. "Depends... What place is it?"

"The beach. I never went with you. So I thought is a good idea." Frido revealed, shrugging with a hopeful smile. "Do you go since you are here?"

"I went once time with Lucy and Mapi. And both of them finished in the sea..." Y/N commented, her gaze fixed on the wall remembering the moment, making the blonde chuckles lowly. "So... I'm in, you are lucky."

Frido give her a beaming smile and didn't lose more time to kiss her, knowing very well if they are disappeared for a few more minutes, their teammates would suspect and get to find them.

"We need to come back..." The blue eyed girl comments, pecking a few more times her lips, bringing both hands to her cheeks this time, making Y/N to put her hands on her waist, caressing her sides.

With the promise to see the other later, they separated. Y/N going first to the, now, full room. The coincidence that her cubby is next to Frido made her very happy. But the constant reminder that Lucy is too, even if they are separate by say person.

"What?" Y/N asked when she passed in front of the defender and hear how she snorted, stopping on her tracks to look at her inquisitive and crossing her arms.

Lucy is sitting on her cubby, a smug smirk plastered on her face while she is saving her shoes in her training bag.

"Nothing..." She hummed, winking at her and her attention coming back to the previous thing.

"Olet outo..." She murmured and went to her seat, sighing.

"I don't know what you said, but it's rude." Lucy points with her index finger at her.

"Ja kysyminen ja vastaaminen välttelyillä on myös." Y/N laughed quietly when saw her confused face, returning to her task of removing her shoelaces.

"What that mean?" She asks, this time inquisitive and narrowing her eyes. "Frido please, can you translate for me what she said?" Lucy like a child say.

The Swedish acted normal and asked for Y/N to repeat it. "Sorry, Lu. I can't understand what she is saying. My level in Finnish is limited." She gave at her friend an apologetic smile.

Lucy huffed and turned to look at Y/N finding a smug expression. "It isn't over." She stood up and messing up with Y/N hair, she contentedly went away when Y/N whined.

•••

The kisses and the touches were more prominent. The wish for more than that increases. And it happening right now.

For their luck, they are roommates in this trip. It's a Champions League game. Frido was in top of Y/N, not surprising for the second one. She knew that the blonde loves be dominant, even if her aura didn't demit it.

Sloppy kisses, hands traveling by their bodies, the sound escaping from the mouths it's not enough anymore. With the little sanity Y/N feels in that moment, she pushed Frido's chest softly, opening her dilated eyes.

Frido frowned and opened them too, a confuse gesture crossing on her features. "Everything okay?" She whispers in a husky tone, her lips ghosting Y/N's.

"Yeah, yeah..." Y/N confirmed immediately. "But tomorrow we have a game and we can't do this..." She trailed off, reminding her the match.

Frido groaned, completely obvious at the fact, forgetting about it and pushed it behind her head the moment her lips found her comfort place.

"You are right..." She muttered, removing herself between her legs and laying down next to her, and letting out a frustrated sigh.

Y/N grabs her hand and caress her palm with her thumb, gaining her attention. "We can do it after it's over..." She suggests, a shy expression replacing the last one.

It's melt her heart every time Frido sees her shy side, that it's every day but with the trust she is gaining with their teammates, it less and less.

"Sorry, I don't want pressure you. It's the last thing I want to do. I just... I want feel you more." Frido confessed, her cheeks red, this time for a different reason. "Please, don't try to do it for me. We will do it when both of us feel ready." She said, caressing with her free hand her cheek, her eyes getting lost in hers.

•••

"I want the kiss you promise me." Frido whispered in her ear when they come back to the changing room after they finished the match.

Y/N turned to look at her, still sipping from her water bottle. "Here?" She jokes, laughing quietly by her reaction.

"I see the hat-trick you scored give you some confidence..." Frido muttered, slapping her butt and going to where Ingrid is, not without giving her a teasing smirk.

"Damn Frido, let something for us." Claudia jokingly said, making who hear her laugh. Y/N made a funny face, don't understanding the comment.

Exchange Frido got pallid, swallowing hard and praying no one say something else. Ingrid notices her change and before she could ask her, someone else spoke.

"Do you not have enough?" Patri follows her friend's game, oblivious about the current situation for the blonde.

Y/N get rigid. She isn't a fool to hear the implication in that comment, but enough for Frido to play with her. She turns to look at her and saw how the Swedish cowardly look at the floor, ashamed. While they laugh about an innocent situation, Y/N excuses herself, starting to feel dizzy and betrayed.

She soon is a sea of tears, closing carefully the door to protect herself from them, hiding the pain she is feeling. She slipped slowly to the floor, hugging herself and buried her face.

Soft knocks were heard, startling Y/N. "It's me." She relaxed when heard the voice. In a trembling voice give permission to enter. Lucy opened it and her heart shattered when saw her state. Immediately she got in and closed the door, bending down and hugged her, letting Y/N soak her freshly clothes. The brunette catches what happened in the first moment, noticing the looks and in a short period of time, their swollen red lips. She cursed herself to believe Y/N knew the blonde's status, clearly not.

Lucy let Y/N cry, her hand caressing her back up and down without the necessity to say something to comfort her, because the truth is however you say now, it still would hurt. So she chose the silence and be there for her.

Her phone vibrate, cursing once again while grab it with a hand, the nickname she typed at her girlfriend showing on her screen.

"Where are you? We can't find you or Y/N. Is she with you?" Keira's worried voice greet her.

"I'm with her." Lucy muttered, hearing how the midfielder let out a relief sigh, she proceed to add before the other could. "Give me some more minutes and we will be there." She begged her, knowing her voice sounding serious, something unusual on her, make Keira help her immediately.

"Okay. We have five minutes before we need to go. I can give you that." Keira informed her. Lucy replied a short answer and they hung up.

"How do you know?" Y/N asked in a hoarse voice, raising her head to look at her.

"Because I have eyes on my face." She simply answered, not liking how bloodshot her eyes seem.

"The others have too..." Y/N whispered, her gaze going to the floor while her mind fly to another part.

"Well, I'm more clever than the rest." She heard how Y/N let out a tiny laugh, making Lucy cheer mentally. Feigning been offended by her laugh, she added. "What? I feel insulted if you think someone else here is smarter than me." It made Y/N laugh more, Lucy painting a smile this time, gladly she made her forget momentarily about the situation.

"We need to go, right?" Y/N asked after her laugh died.

The British nodded with a sad smile while put a lock of her hair behind her ear. She extended her hands towards hers when she stood up, Y/N accepting it. While Y/N opened the door, for their luck no one is there, Lucy take advantage of it and sent a quick text to Ingrid:

Please, don't let Frido get near Y/N. I can't tell you the reason because it isn't my business, thank you x.

Lucy save her phone and grabbing her hand, lead the way outside, hearing more near their voices. Y/N hang down her head, embarrassed for her behaviour. The defender notices how Mapi walked to them with a worry expression, her eyes remaining on Y/N, but Lucy stopped her and when the Spanish looked at her questioning, Lucy shakes her head, muttering this isn't the moment.

Alexia notices immediately when she put a foot there something happened. Seeing how Frido sat down with her head low and Ingrid by her side caressing her back, indicating something it's off. But her worry intensifies when Y/N entered on her peripheral vision and saw her dry stained red cheeks. So when Lucy is shaking her head at Mapi, she grabbed her things and went towards the three.

"I'm going to the bus, come with me." Alexia protectively put an arm around Y/N's shoulder and walked with her outside, not letting room for the defenders to complain. The brunette, who is a little short alongside her new teammate, take her quickly to the bus, apologies escaping from her mouth when the people waiting for a photo or an autograph couldn't have it. The loud screams were muffled once they entered the bus, Alexia remembering the spot usually her new friend takes, she put her way to that direction. "Here, sit down." She offered with a kind smile.

"Gracias..." Y/N muttered, still not liking how her voice sounded in Spanish and it worsen with the voice she has now.

Alexia messed up Y/N's half wet hair and sit down next to her. "You played amazingly. I can't believe you don't come here before." She tried to put on a subject and since she isn't so good with the emotions, she chose to speak about she loves.

Y/N painted a sad smile. "I'm playing well because I have amazing people that help me play like that." She awkwardly said, seeing how Alexia gave her a sincere smile.

Soon, more screams were heard and slowly they climb up and started to sit down, giving a quick look to where they are and respecting their space, mostly Y/N's space.

When Frido get in, her eyes immediately went to the back seat bus and saw how distractedly Y/N looks at the window. She let out a sad sigh and feel ashamed when her eyes finds Alexia's one, seeing the hardness on them. She knows that look, but never been the one to receive it. She swallows and sit down to the front rows, grabbing immediately her headphones and blaming herself.

•••

The days passed and Frido tried to speak with Y/N, but this one always walk past her, making her heart shatter with every step she takes. After the success, the next day Frido spoke with her boyfriend and tell everything.

She blames herself even more when he didn't got angry with her, with pain he said that some day he would forget her, but right now he can't. He texted Ingrid when he walked out from the place he thought was his home, because he didn't talk about the place or city, is the person crying disconsolate who he is referring.

The Norwegian went fastly to her place, finding a broken mess who can't stop to blaming herself. That afternoon she found out what truly happened that last half month. She knew Frido did badly, but she is her friend and always will be there for the good or bad.

It's there too when Lucy or even her own girlfriend push away Frido when she tried to speak with the Finnish, something she didn't get surprised knowing their behaviour. Maybe the surprise came when Alexia joined them, a stoic face and simple cold word make Frido ran.

"Before you judge, try to know the other part too." Ingrid angrily said at them, mostly to her captain, before she follows her friend. Caro following her too.

Caro leaned on a table with her arms crossed while see how Ingrid consolate her friend. When her national teammate sat down with Frido while side hug her, the Norwegian decided to speak.

"We don't know what exactly happened," Caro started, gaining their attention. "but I personally don't judge you. They didn't know anything too, specially Mapi or Alexia, the rest try to comprehend what happened, but we didn't know." She tried her best to comfort Frido.

The Swedish wipes the tears from her eyes and let out a chuckle. "Consoling it's not your big virtue."

Caro chuckled too, shrugging. "I guess it isn't."

The next few days Frido decided to give some space at Y/N, try to the situation calm down. It's difficult for her, like the serious mistake she made and caused pain to one of the best people she met. So when she entered in the changing room where Y/N is there, starting to smile whatever Patri is saying at her, Frido didn't know what force make her to change her steps and directed towards her. Their eyes meeting a brief moment, until Y/N moves her gaze and tried to not pay attention at her. But Frido has enough, she needed to let out what has inside of her.

"I don't know what I have to do to explain everything." She started, not caring about the surprise on Patri's face. Y/N froze on her spot, her back facing the tall blonde. "I don't care if they found out what the reason is. I'm sorry Y/N, I made a big mistake. I played with you and I played with the person I shared my life and thought he was the only one," Frido wipes aggressively her wet cheeks, the only sound of the big room her broken voice. "I thought I have a good life with a wonderful guy by my side, sharing moments, complicity, vulnerability... Ups and downs. He always support me in every decision I took." She explained briefly, Y/N turning slowly towards her, not liking at all the state she is, but let her get her chest off from everything, so she stayed quiet. "Then, you approached. I heard things about you, watched some videos about how easily you scored, thanks at Ingrid of course. I can't believe how adorable you looked the first day. Lost and always with a shy smile. And it didn't surprise me when Alexia went to your rescue, she is who can understand you better in some ways." Frido gave a quick look at her captain, who has teary eyes and give her a nod.

"After that day, we started talk, little conversations that turned long and deep ones. You don't know it, but you help me too. I was feeling homesick and speak with you in my language help me. I know I needed tell you about my relationship, but I was selfish and wanted you entirely for myself. I'm sorry." Frido finished to say, soft sobs escaping from her mouth while she hides her face between her hands, broken.

Ingrid was to step where she is and take her to a quiet place, but saw how Y/N anticipate and get towards the blonde.

The Finnish removed her hands gently from her face and wipe carefully her cheeks. She didn't know what to say, so she wraps her arms around her shoulders and hugged her. Instinctively Frido wraps her arms around her waist and leaned her head on hers, more tears escaping from her eyes.

"I-I'm s-sorry." The blonde lowly said, hiccuping.

•••

"WHAT A SEASON THIS PLAYER HAD MADE! IT'S UNBELIEVABLE THE AMOUNT OF GOALS SHE SCORED AND THE ASSIST SHE GAVE. IT'S SO FAR, ONE OF THE BEST SIGNING FROM THIS CLUB. THEY HAVE A GEM."

"BARCELONA WON THEIR THIRD CHAMPIONS!!! AND THE SECOND IN A ROW! WHAT A PLEASURE SEEING THIS PLAYERS PLAY, ESPECIALLY ALEXIA PUTELLAS AND Y/N Y/L/N, WHAT A CONNECTION THEY HAVE."

"THE TOP SCORER FROM THE LEAGUE ARE ALEXIA AND Y/N, LEICY SANTOS FOLLOWING BEHIND WITH ONE GOAL LESS. BUT WAIT TO KNOW THE CHAMPION'S LEAGUE TOP SCORERS. Y/N Y/L/N WITH 27 GOALS, ALEXIA PUTELLAS WITH 24 GOALS, AITANA BONMATÍ WITH 21 GOALS AND FRIDOLINA ROLFÖ TIED WITH CAROLINE GRAHAM HANSEN WITH 17 GOALS. FIVE PLAYERS FROM THIS CLUB ARE THE TOP SCORER. WHAT. A. TEAM!!"

Y/N raised the trophy in the air, gaining the screams from her teammates and the people who traveled to the stadium to support them. She can't describe the adrenaline she is feeling right now.

After they made a round to raise it, they walked around the stadium to thanks the people, letting them know is for them too. They took a lot of photos with the trophy too.

Before Y/N follows some teammates inside to translate the party there, she poses with the champions league cup and the award she received for being the MVP that match.

"Jag är väldigt stolt över dig." A whisper from behind make Y/N jump a little on her spot, turning to see a Frido laughing by her reaction. Y/N whined, smacking her arm playfully. "Before you go with Jonatan to give the press conference you deserve. Make me the favor to take some photos with me?" She asked hopefully, a cheeky grin on her face when Y/N nods.

"Of course, idiot." Y/N chuckles to grab the cup, extending it at her too. The blonde accepting it and both of them grabbing the cup, posed with it with happy smiles on their faces.

For Frido's surprise, Y/N kissed her cheek sweetly. It's only for the photo, but they knew what it means for them. When the forward separated, Frido can't hold not to look at her, a loving face showing the love she felt for her.

"You need change your expression or you would break the internet." Y/N teases, poking her cheek where a dimple is showing there.

Frido leaned more on her, their noses touching and their lips to centimeters, her eyes traveling from her mouth to her eyes. "I don't care." She whispered, licking her lips.

A throat behind the phone cleared. They pair look at her and saw her cheeks, making them laugh. Alexia rolled her eyes. "I suggest you two save it for another moment, where people can't see you." She warned, depositing the phone in Frido's hand. "By the way, we need to go." She said at Y/N.

When Y/N started to follow Alexia, Frido gives the cup at Marta and grabs Y/N's wrist gently, turning her body towards her. "Do you mind if I break the internet?" She knows that Y/N didn't care because they talk about it, if not, she never would that in public.

Y/N bit her lower lip, suppressing a smile. She brings her hands to Frido's cheeks and slowly brought her face to hers, but not closing the gap. "If you want break it, you need take the lead."

"Gladly." She muttered, before she smashed her lips on hers.

Alexia frowned when didn't hear steps coming behind her and turned to look to find the couple showing their love publicly. "Great, they can't hide it like everyone." She muttered, but a smirk approached in her face, seeing how her teammates ran to them and jump happily.

[alexiabae]

SIDELINES; alexia putellas x fem!reader

Summary: spain won the world cup. but she didn't care about it, she cares about the happiness that it brings to someone else.

Warnings: fluff. insecurities, brief mention of what happened last year with the Spanish federation. I wrote it a few weeks ago and I'm not sure if I want to update it. So before I regret and delete it, I give it an opportunity. Hope you like it, x.

Note: English is not my first language.

It's over.

The referee whistles the final, indicating that Spain proclaimed the winner of the World Cup.

Y/N stopped running, her breathing accelerated by the intense 90+ minutes played. She put her hands on her waist, looking briefly at the stands where people started to celebrate their victory.

"¡HEMOS GANADO!" Jenni shouted happily while she wrapped her arms around Y/N's waist and lifted her, making the girl squeal a little.

"Put me down!" Y/N demand immediately, moving her legs on air.

Jenni laughed, putting her down again and kissing her head a few times. "We won kiddo." The brunette whispered, before she let her and went to another part.

Y/N rolled her eyes by her antics and soon her gaze found her England teammate devastated and walk towards the player, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind and leaning her head on her back.

"I'm really sorry..." Y/N muttered, hugging the woman more.

Lucy let out a watery laugh, looking briefly at the girl behind her. "I know... But it's football, you all deserve it." She said between tears, bringing her right hand to Y/N's head, caressing affectionately. "Why don't you go and celebrate with your team?" She asked, knowing internally why because the girl confessed to her a few months ago.

Y/N let out a tired sight. She looks to where most of her teammates are, and her eyes watered, shaking her head. "I regret it, Lucia." She admitted in a low voice, using Lucy's full name.

In another moment, Lucy would scold her for using her full name, but she knew that right now wasn't the moment. Then, she turned around and wrapped her arms around her neck, hiding both of them on the hug.

Lucy wants to say something comforting, but she can't. She said it in the past though. So the British separated a little from the hug and grabbed Y/N's face between her hands, she kissed her forehead.

"Go." Her teammate whispered, signaling with her head the side where Y/N's teammates are. When saw that she didn't move, Lucy pushed her softly. "Go, we will see soon. Celebrate and enjoy your holidays, I will text you and call you." She promised before walking to some of her teammates, knowing that Y/N doesn't walk to go over there.

Y/N looks again to where they are and she sees the beautiful sight that brings her in the first place. She started walking slowly towards there, consoling briefly some of the other team, she took a mental note to go to talk to Keira.

Irene was the first to notice her and run to hug her, lifting her from the floor. Why does everyone do that? Thought Y/N.

"Where were you? ¡SOMOS CAMPEONAS DEL MUNDO, Y/N!" Irene, like every teammate, shouts happily. She started spinning, making Y/N once again squeal.

"I was with Lucy. Please, put me down!" Y/N explained, begging her to hear her and put her down.

At the mention of their common friend, Irene put her down. For Y/N's relieved. She raised her gaze towards Lucy would be. Y/N saw how Irene has red eyes for crying. Happy tears.

"Shit, I'm going to search for her." Irene let her know, kissing the side of her head while putting a hand on her head, before she let go.

Y/N briefly sees Irene walk to the other side of the pitch, doing what Y/N did on the walk toward there, until her gaze moves again to the group next to her and sees the guilty, smiling, her cheeks stained from the tears. The Barça player bit her bottom lip, biting the involuntary smile that wanted to escape.

Then, the other noticed her. The woman made a gesture with her head, asking why she is standing on the spot while they are jumping and chanting. Or that was supposed Y/N she asked with a simple move of head.

"Come here, idiota." Alexia called, stretching her right arm towards her, moving her fingers in the air, still smiling.

Y/N couldn't resist anymore to be near her and accepting the hand that the other offered, intertwining it a few seconds. It saddened Y/N when the Catalan left her hand, but Alexia made her change the opinion when wrapped her right arm around her waist, a firm grip on her hip.

She was over the moon. She doesn't care what was the reason if Alexia could do that frequently. Y/N would do it if it was the award. She knew that it was another moment to remember the many times Alexia hugged her while Y/N lay on her bed while the sleepiness came to her. She would write it in a diary, but her mind was the replacement, she can vividly feel it.

Alexia turned her head towards Y/N, their head very close. "I'm proud of you." She said loudly, trying to be heard from the loud noise that their teammates are doing.

"I'm proud of you too." Y/N doesn't bother to raise her voice, if the brunette doesn't hear her, she reads her lips.

Alexia's dimples show up, showing more of her teeth for the reciprocal compliment. Y/N feels how the grip tightens briefly on her hip.

"That dribble was scandalous." Alexia inevitably said, leaning briefly on Y/N's ear to be heard.

Y/N shakes her head, smiling. "Can you please stop for a moment thinking football and enjoy?" She asked rhetorically, chuckling. She reposed her left arm on Alexia's shoulder, giving a soft pat.

"Sorry, you know how I am." The brunette apologized, shrugging.

It takes Y/N for surprise what Alexia made after. She knew that the Catalan is someone affectionate with people she cares about, but she always has the power to surprise her.

Alexia leaned again and kissed her cheek. It would be a few seconds, like one or two. But it remained for more seconds that it was obligatory for only two friends. Even she made a little pressure before she separated, starting to chant again.

But Y/N just looks at her distracted, not caring if someone sees her. She is enjoying Alexia, that's all that matters to her in that moment.

•••

After taking as many photos as possible with the trophy. They walked to the changing room, where the real party started.

Y/N doesn't mind it and goes to the showers. She felt strange, she remembered the last time she won a trophy, just two months ago and it didn't feel the same manner. Y/N celebrates it until the next day, not bothering to do the necessary personal things immediately, she just lives the moment. But right now... It's different and she knew it.

She knows that she didn't would accept it in the first place. But then, a person interfered with it. Explaining the reasons to why they all, need her on the team. And Y/N accepted. She was very conflicted, nights where she spent it crying with a lump on her throat.

"Stop thinking, I can hear you from here." Ona muttered on the other shower.

Y/N turned to look at her and saw how a reassuring smile played on her lips. "Why are you here and not celebrating?" She was confused, noticing Ona's wet hair.

The young Catalan leaned her arms on the wall and put her chin there. "I can ask you the same." She hummed, chuckling when Y/N threw her some drops of water with her fingers.

Ona watched her carefully while the other continued to shower. She knew that something happened to her, because from the start, Y/N was acting distant, light conversation and always on her mind.

"Something to say? Since you are looking too much." Y/N teased her, letting out a playful smirk.

"Why are you acting holding yourself?" Ona directly asked. She saw how Y/N froze on the spot, not waiting for that question.

Y/N's eyes watered, not caring anymore hold her tears in front of some teammates. Her demeanour changed, something that Ona noted immediately.

"Hey... Sorry. I shouldn't ask you..." Ona interrupted herself, grabbing her towel and after wrapping it on her body, she got out and went towards Y/N, grabbing the tower for the girl.

She wrapped it around Y/N's body and turned off the shower. "Let's go." Ona muttered, bringing the girl outside and sitting her on a bench. Soft sobs starting to escape from Y/N's mouth. The Catalan frowned, feeling a little guilty for probably being a hard topic for her. Even if she didn't really know what the problem was. She decided to put on the clean clothes that she brought before.

"Look at me." Ona whispered once she had her clothes on. She bent down and removed Y/N's hands from her own face, wiping with her thumbs the many tears rolling for her red cheeks. "I'm here, Y/N. If you don't want to talk about it right now, I understand. But please, you are holding it for many time that it is consuming you." The brunette whispered, passing an arm around her neck and leaning towards herself to hug her, while with her free hand caressing her back.

Y/N thought that Ona was right and for once, she decided to share her fears. After she relaxed a little and the hiccups remained from sobbing.

"I shouldn't come back to the national team." Y/N muttered, her head still on the crook of her neck, feeling a little brave since she can't see Ona's face.

Ona frowned and still caressing her back, she asked. "Why?"

"Because from the start, I wasn't coming... But-." Y/N stopped abruptly, fearing if she said too much, her secret would be out. But she trusted Ona.

"But?" Ona pressed softly, putting her chin on her head.

"Alexia talked to me." She finally let her breath out, the one she was holding.

"She talked to me too. I don't understand." Ona said confused.

Y/N let out a sigh. "I accepted even knowing that everything would be the same as before." She explained.

Ona's frown disappears slowly conforming she thought about it. "If I don't understand bad this time... The reason you are here is Alexia." She said it carefully, noticing how Y/N confirmed it with her head. A low sight escaped from Ona's mouth. "Since when?"

Y/N swallow. "I lost count." She whispered.

The Catalan felt shocked by this answer. She was waiting for a clear number. Not for her friend confessing to her that practically she is in love with Alexia from all the time they met.

The young defender separated herself a little and with both hands, she grabbed her face, looking directly to her eyes. "You will do everything for her, didn't you?" Ona guessed quickly, understanding now.

Y/N bit her bottom lip, nodding. "And for the first time I regret it. I failed my friends, Ona. It hurts." She started to cry again.

The other girl feels her pain. It's like if Y/N could pass her from her body and show her how she is feeling. And it is sad and scary.

"They understand, Y/N. They will not hate you." Ona tried to reason with her.

"Even though I don't deserve being here... There are a lot of better players than me. It's stupid." Y/N rants out, letting her walls down and showing how truly she feels.

"Don't say that!" Ona scolded her, looking at Y/N seriously. "You deserve it. You are one of the best players we have. Damn, you came from winning a Champions League. And you played every minute of this tournament, something I don't agree with because you aren't a robot." She made her point, a little mad with Y/N for saying that, better say, for believing that she isn't a good player. She knew that it was her insecurities talking for her, but she can't contain her madness. "You deserve it. Just like them." She says it this time in a sweet and caring voice, kissing her cheek repeatedly.

"Y/N! You are losi-," Alexia came to the shower room. The gold medal is still around her neck, a happy face adorned by a big smile that turned soon in a half open mouth and in her eyebrows installed a confused frown. She cleared her throat after recomposing a little. "Sorry to interrupt guys..." She awkwardly said, forcing a smile. Then, the woman tried to go but Ona called her.

When someone else entered the room, Ona separated from Y/N and put herself quickly in front of her to cover her. Clearly she knew that Alexia caught them in a compromised position, but a wrong one.

"Ale! Wait." She looked briefly at Y/N, who was wiping her cheeks fast and with her eyes begged at her friend to let it go. Ona sighed, a little conflicted but wanting the best for her friend. Maybe she didn't have to know everything, just the part she is struggling with right now. So, the Catalan raised her head to look at a serious and confused Alexia and spoke. "Y/N is bad. She needs you." She whispered, looking guilty at the floor.

After hearing these words came out from Ona's mouth, Alexia instantly worried. She decided to continue the way that she decided before to leave and closed the door, walking decisively towards the pair, stopping in front of Ona.

"I don't want to overstep because I know you. But I'm staying here until you're ready." Ale murmured, worry installed on her voice. She looks at Ona, their eyes meeting. With a simple gesture of her head asked her, but the answer was shrugging.

Y/N sniffled and stood up. She knew that Alexia would stay here until she knew everything. So she decided to put on the clothes, go to an empty shower and put it on quickly, matching Ona's wet hair down and after wiping some dry tears from her cheeks, she went outside, meeting the begging ones from the freckled girl. Y/N can't look at Alexia, it's like the brunette intimidated her right now. She can feel her eyes on her, watching every move she makes.

"I hate this..." Y/N muttered, letting aside her towel and sitting on a bench, putting both hands on her knees, a tired sigh escaping from her mouth. "I shouldn't pay you attention and stay with my decision. I spent two months with anxiety, sleepless nights, crying without anyone knowing and fighting the urge to call the girls to ask for their forgiveness." She explained in a low voice. I hate the act of whatever you say, I would do it..." She trailed off, more tears rolling for her cheeks, this time not caring.

Alexia was speechless, noticing how much in pain her friend is and she didn't notice. It hurt her. Her watery eyes wandered towards Y/N, seeing her small form on the bench. She was hugging her knees, hiding her head there. It broke Alexia's inside. Maybe her heart, or her soul. Or something else that she doesn't describe.

"I'm going outside." Ona whispered at her, biting her bottom lip and passing her arm for her eyes, grabbing her things and kissing Y/N's head before she went out.

The midfielder walked slowly towards the bench and sat down next to her, wrapping her left arm around her shoulders and pushing her softly toward herself, leaning her head on hers. Inevitably it was the first thing she did, because Y/N in pain or sad Alexia needed to fix it. It's a sentiment that she always did from their early friendship that remains until today. Alexia could fight the world only for Y/N giving her a tiny smile.

"You could say no. I would never be angry with you." Alexia whispered, looking at the white cold floor. "If I insist much it is because I wanted to play my last world cup with someone important to me." She confessed in a small voice.

Y/N sniffled, raising her head to look at her, making Alexia separated to meet her red eyes. "It's not your last world cup." She muttered in a hoarse voice.

The childish voice made Alexia paint a lipped smile. "Maybe." She opted to say. She leaned her head aside and brought her fingers to Y/N's face to put away a strand of hair. "Lo siento." She let down the first tears roll for her cheeks. It's weird that Alexia cried in public, it needed to be something really big to make her cry.

"Don't cry, please." Y/N begged, a pout on her face.

Muffled music was heard in the background, alongside many of them singing.

Alexia sniffled and shook her head smiling, looking at her. "I'm sorry for be blinded all this time..." She murmured, grabbing with both hands Y/N's ones, not intertwining, just holding it while she caress her palms. "But I'm here for you. I will always be for you." She whispers, passing her tongue for her bottom lip.

"Ale...?" Y/N calls her. Maybe this wasn't the right moment, but she has something to say right now. Even if the other rejects her. When Alexia looks at her expectantly, squeezing her hands to let her know that Y/N has all her attention, she takes a breath and speaks. "I feel things that I shouldn't have felt for you. When I look at you, whether you are paying me attention or not, I'm calm and nervous at the same time. I did things for you even if I don't wanted to do it, I'm not talking about this case, but from other occasions. I found myself remembering every little detail you have with me every night. I have been selfish to me and I shut up because you seem happy. I can't describe all I feel for you. But I'm in love with you, Alexia." Y/N finished to say.

For Alexia, there isn't a best description of it. Maybe it was a little messy, but it's real. She was taken by surprise, she can't deny that. Right now in her eyes, if Y/N pays the right attention, she could see the pure love on them.

"Sorry to be a distraction to this amazing moment. Maybe I needed to say it on another occasion..." Y/N whispered, standing up.

Alexia frowned, grabbing her wrist, standing up too. "Kiss me." She just simply said, firm.

Y/N opened her mouth, taken aback for what she said. The Catalan gave the few steps that separated from her, letting out her wrist to wrap both hands on her hips. "Don't make me repeat it."

It's when Y/N put both hands on her cheeks, looking at her mouth wishful but afraid if it is a joke or a product of her imagination. She leaned slowly, closing her eyes. Alexia leaned down, she was a little taller than Y/N, and met her lips.

A soft whimper escapes from Y/N's mouth, not believing that she is kissing Alexia. Her hands made pressure on Alexia's cheeks, bringing more towards her while she put herself on tiptoe. It's a chaste kiss, meeting the mould of their lips.

When they separated, Alexia opened her eyes and saw how Y/N was still with hers closed. A loving smile painted on her face, inevitably brushing her nose with hers and not letting time to the other to react, she captures her lips with hers, biting softly her lower lip.

Soon, their tongues met, deepening the kiss. Alexia tightened her grip on her waist, pressing her more into hers.

The foreheads are pressed against each other after they need to breathe again, silly smiles on their faces.

"Why do we stay here and keep kissing? I don't mind celebrating." Alexia whispered in Y/N's mouth.

Y/N intertwined her hands on her back of the neck. "I love that idea. But unfortunately, if they notice that we are missed, soon they will all start research for us."

"Right." The Catalan sarcastically said, rolling her eyes, already annoyed with her teammates. Y/N chuckled, adoring her reaction. She couldn't resist it and kissed her, making Alexia humming gladly.

They kissed a little more until they decided to come back with the team. Y/N watched with a loving smile how Alexia walked to the door, not believing anything what happened for a few minutes. Then, the midfielder turned around to look at her. "Are you coming?" A raised eyebrow accompanied the question with a knowing smirk.

Y/N grabbed her things and walked towards the door too, stopping to her side. "Thank you." She said sincerely and put herself on tiptoe, kissing her cheek for a few seconds.

"For?" Alexia whispered, seeing her separating from her. Y/N shrugged and gave her a lipped smile, walking out.

This time it was Alexia who watched how Y/N let her things on her bench and walked towards Ona and Tere.

"ALEXIA! Come here!" A happy Misa calls her with a beer on her right hand and another on her left, stretching it towards the brunette.

Alexia walked towards her, an involuntary smile on her face.

She won twice that day. And maybe she won every day that Y/N permitted her to pass by her side.