alexnoises

[alexnoises]

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

[alexnoises]

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[alexnoises]

Oh for fucks sake....

[alexnoises]

Trying to inflict psychic damage to a tumblr user is like trying to irradiate a cockroach, like it can be done, but the lethal dose is not safe for humans either

[alexnoises]

It's pride month so I'll allow myself to express one opinion on the internet :

There are no "exact color" of pride flags.

I see more and more sites and posts talking about the exact hex codes for the lesbian flag, or the right purple for the ace one, and how it should be more or less saturated and I just want to say: pride flags were meant to be sewn in your kitchen. To be spraypainted and to be recognised.

There are no "exact colors" of pride flags because you should do them with what you have ! Nobody should care if you use a crimson red instead of a cherry red or whatever ! Be free ! wave your colors ! The colors you have !

[alexnoises]

GAY BOOKS FOR CHEAP 🏳‍🌈

One Night in Hartswood and All the Painted Stars ebooks are $0.99 across US & Canada stores throughout June! That's Kobo, Google Books and Kindle that I know of - but check your preferred ebookstore!

Come get your gay medieval yearning and read 'em before Book 3 announcements start happening ✨

One Night in Hartswood is about a guy who runs away the night before his wedding with a Mysterious Hunter (who, uh oh, is the brother of the woman he was supposed to get married to. Woops).

All the Painted Stars is about a woman who steals her brothers' armour and dresses as a knight to save the woman she loves her best friend from being given as a prize in a tournament. Also, there's beer.

Read more about ONIH here and ATPS here!

Not sure if medieval queers are your jam? Read the first chapter of One Night in Hartswood for free here!

[alexnoises]

love how Sims players call themselves simmers. you mean like a stew

[alexnoises]

[alexnoises]

to whatever trans man needs to hear this: hating yourself for being a man isn't helping anyone, especially you. there is no cosmic reward for hating the ever loving shit out of yourself for being a man. this does not make people like you more, and if it does, you are hanging out with malicious people who want you to suffer, not people whom you need to gain the approval of. if your friends want you to hate yourself for being a man, those are not your friends, and you need to leave, pronto, no matter how attached to them you are. they are not helping you, they are actively hurting you on purpose.

no man deserves to hate themselves for being a man. especially not trans men. i don't care how many people that bothers. they're not right. men do not deserve to hate themselves for their gender/s. this is not the answer. this is not the way forward. this is not how we move past fighting, abuse and hatred. you don't deserve this. run like hell if people you treat you like this and never look back. i'm serious.

[alexnoises]

they should invent tech issues that other people have experienced and solved

[alexnoises]

It's fledgling season I've been really enjoying seeing all the scruffy teenage birds standing around cause they're bad at flying while one or two adults of the same species are nearby Looking at me

[alexnoises]

man this guy is my favourite character (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him (thr

[alexnoises]

you guys will reblog anything istg

this is an image with exactly 1x1 pixels. come on, reblog it. i fucking dare you.

[alexnoises]

[alexnoises]

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sorry genuine question: what is a proshipper?

is it like you really like a ship? or is it like a you ship minors with adults? or you just explore darker things (like CNC)?

because i CANNOT get a straight answer lol and ive seen u use the tag b4 on ur secondo cnc post

essentially, old fandom "ship and let ship" rules. you can ship whatever you want forever. nowadays you have to say "proship", because some dumbass kids have made it...not the norm anymore.

i believe in curating your own online experience, which is why i'm not on apps like tiktok or instagram, but that's a different rant about algorithms entirely. basically, if you see a ship that makes you uncomfortable, block their tag! block the op! or even just...scroll past! don't send real people death threats over fictional characters.

i hope this explained it well enough!! there's a lot of dumbass discourse to be had, but personally, i'm just here for a good time.