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So you ended up with ALF on your hands, huh?? Don’t worry, you don’t have anything to fear (although your cats might). ALF is from the planet Melmac, located in the Andromeda galaxy. On Melmac, creatures enjoy surprisingly human-like dishes that feature the meat of cats, like feline and fries, stir-fried cat, whisker omelet, cats Benedict, and chili cat. These dishes provide a decently wide range of carbohydrates, protein, fats, and fiber. 

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Here’s what you need to know about ALF and his digestive system: He’s an omnivore. 

- he’s got a big old, elongated mouth with a some teeth that protrude, similar to that which carnivores use to break down their protein, but not quite as sharp. His mouth also contains the enzyme amylase to start to break down starches, and lingual lipase to break down some lipids

- an esophagus that connects to his first of 8 stomachs, where the food travels down due to peristalsis, or just the squeezing of muscles. Thank goodness his heart is in his ear so there’s enough room for all of those stomachs. (look! he’s pointing to his heart!) 

-his eight stomachs are interconnected by a series of valves, allowing food to pass through each of the somewhat weak stomachs to break down his meals. Compared to us humans, the enzymes in ALF’s stomach, like pepsin, are not as strong and less pepsin overall is secreted by the stomach cells. This is the enzyme responsible for the breakdown of the protein that your Melmacian will consume. 

-In the small intestine, there’s some major breakdown and nutrient absorption going on. Enzymes mostly from the pancreas allow this to happen: trypsin and chymotrypsin continue protein digestion that started in the stomach, pancreatic lipase, colipase, and bile salts from the gallbladder break down fats, and some pancreatic amylase is present to break down carbohydrates. All of these nutrients are absorbed here, along with water. 

-the Melmacian large intestine also reabsorbs water and salts, passing the final waste product through the rectum and out of the anus

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Like Rick and Skip here, let’s chat about what your Melmacian needs, besides plenty of water: carbohydrates, proteins, fibers, fats, vitamins, and minerals. Water is necessary for the Melmacian body to maintain blood pressure, regulate their body temperatures under all of that fur, dissolve nutrients, maintain a proper ion balance, and also to transport nutrients and waste products through the digestive system. The carbohydrates in your Melmacian’s diet is their main source of nutrients and is primarily what their bodies are designed to rely on, with protein being a close second. There are some essential proteins/amino acids that Melmacians are unable to get anywhere but their diets, and not providing these essential amino acids can lead to muscular problems, decreased immune system function, digestive problems, and many more serious issues. Fiber is essential in keeping your Melmacian’s digestion flowing smoothly and can help stabilize blood glucose levels. And finally, vitamins and minerals are important to hundreds of functions in the Melmacian’s body, including growth, healing of skin, tissue, and bone damage, the metabolizing of food into energy, immune system support, brain function, liver function, sight, and heart function.

 With the specifics out of the way, it’s important to think about how you are going to provide all of these nutrients. ALF has a particular hankering for protein in the form of cat, so if given the choice of whole foods or even home-cooking for ALF, he’s going to want to gorge on his favorite dishes and ignore his own needs. It may be easy to just scoop a serving of whatever casserole you’re having every night, but you should make sure ALF gets all of his nutritional needs met by primarily using a chow. Look out for our next post all about the best type type of chow for your pint sized Melmacian :)

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The best thing to feed your Melmacian is whatever flavor of MelmaChow it likes best. ALF’s current favorite is the red bag-- cat and lentil, but that’s not the only flavor. The original, complete formula contains potatoes and corn for carbohydrates, turkey, chicken, and lentils for protein, peas, ground flaxseeds, tomato pomace, chicory root extract, carrots, and apples for fiber, and chicken fat and salmon oil for some fats. For your Melmacian’s extremely dense fur, biotin supplements and egg yolks can be added. ALF gets fed twice a day: morning and evening. He also likes to try out all of earth's different foods, so he also sometimes joins us for dinner as a special treat. The blue bag is specifically formulated for young Melmacians and has a higher percentage of protein than the original formula, as increased protein is necessary for a growing Melmacian. This formula contains less potatoes and corn, and more chicken and turkey. An important side note-- if you happen to live long enough to see your Melmacian’s 75th birthday, you’re in for a treat. Every 75 years, Melmacians go into an absolute frenzy to be able to eat cats. There’s nothing that will stop a Melmacian from getting that cat, so I suggest you emotionally prepare yourself. 

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If you’re still worried about how to take care of your Melmacian, take a deep breath. When ALF was thrown into the Tanners’ lives, there was no official guide to feeding and taking care of a Melmacian. In fact, no one had ever seen, heard, or smelled a Melmacian before. But they did just fine, if you ignore the approximately 300 barbecue-related fires and racked up debt  and you have your friendly blog ALF-is-hungry to rely on! Keeping your Melmacian healthy and happy means that you’ll have a companion for the whole family that can join you in all kinds of hijinks. Maybe-- just maybe-- you’ll do a good enough job to keep your cat safe <3 

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Sources

Comparative Anatomy of the Digestive System of Rural and Urban Raccoons (Procyon lotor) in Central Ohio (osu.edu)

Tomato Pomace In Dog Food - Pet Food Reviewer 

INT0232 CVMA Ref Guide Inserts v9.indd (canadianveterinarians.net)

Lentils in dog food | All About Dog Food

https://www.thesprucepets.com/raccoon-diet-1239361 

 https://www.chewy.com/wellness-core-grain-free-original/dp/34342  

https://alf.fandom.com/wiki/Melmac_(planet)  

https://alf.fandom.com/wiki/Cat#:~:text=Willie%20Knows%20That%20ALF%20Eats,cats%20on%20the%20animated%20series.)