algraya

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and they don't have to.

inspired by anon

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somewhere in la there's a man on the phone with his wife like "sorry i won't be able to make it to dinner, i know it's our anniversary, but they shut the 110 down to land a plane. no i'm not joking, bring up the news app on your phone. it's always something in this fucking city."

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Sometimes a creative outlet is a fun little hobby and sometimes it's a lifelong affliction. Like I crochet because making little woven animals sparks joy and I'm a writer whether I like it or not because I'm tormented by visions

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when they let ryan guzman make facial expressions you know what i mean?

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Boo-tiful Sweets Ghost Town

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Buddie for “is that a joke?”

Buck gets his heart broken again, because of course he does. That's how it goes, right? He puts everything out there, his whole heart on the line, and begs someone to love him, and they promise they do, and then he fucks something up and they take it back because nobody could keep that promise after they see the real him.

"Okay," Eddie says, frowning at him in that too-serious way that means he's very, very drunk. "Who's the real you supposed to be?"

"A disaster," Buck says, and takes another swig of his beer. Oh, hey, the beer's gone. That's so sad. Even the beer is leaving him.

"Pretty sure the beer's still with you, bud."

"I'm pathetic, Eddie," Buck says, dropping the empty bottle on the floor next to the couch. It makes a little thunk when it lands.

"You're not pathetic."

"I'm so pathetic," Buck says. "I really thought he meant it. Like. I thought he really loved me." They don't do this, not really—this isn't how Buck told Eddie about his breakup with Taylor, or Ali. They didn't talk about the Taylor breakup almost at all, even though that one really hurt. But since then, the whole Kim thing happened. Buck sat with an Eddie who was even drunker than this, the night that Chris left, listened to him choke out a bunch of half-swallowed sentences about Shannon, and it feels like‚ he doesn't know. Like they do this now, maybe. Like he can talk to Eddie like he's Maddie. Yeah, he'd talk to Maddie about this.

"He's an idiot," Eddie says, and Buck refocuses on Eddie. Eddie's face is bright red, his eyes shining. His mouth, too. From all the beer. Damn, Eddie's drunk.

"He's not an idiot," Buck says. "He's so smart. Because he doesn't love me." "See," Eddie says, "that's what I'm talking about. Idiot behavior."

"You love Tommy." Buck makes a tragic gesture at his own chest. "I love Tommy."

"I love you."

Buck's stomach heats a little bit at how easily it comes out of Eddie's mouth, like he doesn't have to think about it even a little. It makes it sound like loving him is easy. He knows that's not how Eddie means it, though. "Eddie," he says, trying to explain himself. "I don't know if I can keep doing this. Like, like when is it going to stop?"

Eddie's trying to keep eye contact with him, but Buck's swaying, so it doesn't really work. "When's what going to stop?"

"This," Buck says, and grabs Eddie's arm to try and still himself. Eddie helps steady him, because he's helpful like that, both his hands coming up to cup Buck's elbows. "The...the not being it. Not being enough. Not being...the right person."

Eddie looks so sad. "You're the right person," he says.

"No," Buck says. "See, if I were, I'd have a boyfriend right now."

"Buck," Eddie says, but not like it's a prelude to anything else.

"Can I tell you something," Buck says, and Eddie nods. Buck takes a deep breath, tries to gather himself. "Okay. Okay, so. I literally. I went ring shopping, Eddie."

Eddie doesn't say anything. Maybe he doesn't get it. Buck squeezes Eddie's biceps to try and help him get it. "Like, like for Tommy. Like, for—"

"Is that a joke," Eddie says, his face completely blank, and Buck flinches back, dropping Eddie so he can curl his arms over his stomach. "It was stupid," he says, hurt and trying not to show it. "I mean, I know that now. Post getting my heart stomped on. Clearly we were, um, not on the same page."

"No," Eddie says, sounding frustrated. "That's not what I meant." "Okay," Buck says. "What did you mean?"

"I mean," Eddie says, and then he's touching Buck again, his palms warm on Buck's shoulders, one of his thumbs slotting into its familiar place on Buck's clavicle. "I mean, I can't believe you'd do that."

Buck laughs, even though it isn't funny. "Uh, get married?"

"It's not as good as this," Eddie says, a total non sequitur. Buck blinks. Eddie's thumb strokes over Buck's collarbone.

"What?"

"Being married," Eddie clarifies, which clarifies nothing.

"I don't get it, man."

"I mean," Eddie says, with an annoyed huff, and then he's leaning in, and Buck is being kissed.

He kisses back, obviously. That much is autopilot, sweet pressure meeting sweet pressure, opening up to the brush of Eddie's tongue, Eddie's hand sliding up to the back of his neck. Eddie licks into his mouth, and Buck moans, and the sound startles them apart.

Eddie's staring at him, very close. His eyes are so dark, and so close. God, his mouth is even shinier now.

"What," Buck says. He's proud of getting that much out.

"Look," Eddie says, defensive, and Buck suddenly doesn't want to hear it, whatever explanation is going to come out of Eddie's mouth, whatever reason exists for why Buck's straight best friend would do something like this. He lurches forward and kisses Eddie again, and Eddie melts against him immediately, the hand on Buck's neck sliding up to tangle in his hair. He's the one tasting Eddie's mouth now, and Eddie's making tiny sounds in the back of his throat, Buck's sipping them, they taste so good.

"Eddie," Buck says, when they have to break apart again. "Eddie, Eddie, fuck." One of his hands is up Eddie's shirt, just a little bit, resting on his stomach. Jesus Christ, Eddie's perfect stomach. He can feel the way Eddie's shaking. The tiny scar on Eddie's bottom lip tastes exactly like the rest of Eddie's mouth; Buck doesn't know how long he's been wondering about that, but it's good to have the mystery finally solved.

"Don't get married," Eddie says, and Buck blinks because it comes out heated, almost angry.

"Okay," Buck says, turned on and lost, almost too drunk to follow Eddie's logic. "I won't."

"Okay," Eddie says, and drags him back in.

"Eddie," Buck says against his mouth, suddenly urgent. "Eddie, I didn't know." If he'd known Eddie wanted this, he would have given it to him. Doesn't Eddie know that? "I'm, I'm stupid, I didn't know."

"You're not stupid," Eddie says. "You're not—Buck. Jesus Christ, I'm trying to tell you I love you."

Buck kind of wants to cry. "You don't mean it," he says, and Eddie glares at him. Kisses him again.

"I mean it," he says, and bites Buck's lower lip. Buck's breath hitches, and Eddie sucks at the hurt, prolonging it and making it sweet at the same time. When he draws back, there's a little line of spit between his mouth and Buck's that shines like a spiderweb. "Do you believe me?"

Buck's heartbroken, hard, six to, um, ten? beers deep. He's a fucking mess, and he'll be a worse one tomorrow. "Yeah," he says, because believing Eddie comes naturally. "Okay," Eddie says, like that makes everything simple instead of terrifying. "Okay, then. Then come back here."

Buck has no idea what's going to happen tomorrow; if Eddie will feel the same way when he's sober, if there are reasons this can't happen that Buck's too tired and drunk to remember right now. But that's tomorrow. He crawls back into Eddie's lap, and Eddie catches him, and he wonders if he's doing it again, putting his whole heart back on the line, begging someone to love him, whether there's something he could do that would make Eddie take it back.

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a lot of you probably knows Belphie's story, but I'll summarize just in case.

Devon Rex cats are better for people with allergies (less shed fur + less Fel d1 protein in their saliva), so on February 16, 2024, I went the breeder route and put down a deposit. before Belphie even opened his eyes, he was mine.

every Friday, the breeder sent me a new photo. I had a broken leg, and was basically rotting in bed at that point, so it was the best part of my week. then, at 12 weeks old, I BROUGHT HIM HOME!

at first, he was so alive. like a wind-up monkey that never shut off. he dangled from the wall-hangings, savaged my feet as I walked, and used my elderly cats as jumping poles to do cool acrobatics over. but this all gradually faded.

first, he stopped playing. then he stopped climbing. then he stopped moving much at all. my vet ran tests on him and found multiple pathogens (calcivrius + mycoplasma), but the medication didn't help - he kept declining.

on September 17th, I woke up to find him swollen like a balloon. we finally had an answer: he had Feline infectious Peritonitis, aka FIP. before 2017, this would've been a death sentence. he would've kept bloating until he drowned in his own fluids. and before 2024, I would've been forced to inject him with black market drugs. but thankfully, South Tower Animal Hospital in Fergus, Ontario was doing a study on the oral medication! we drove two hours, enrolled him, and left with the GS-441524 pills.

and he went from those photos above.....to this:

I thought Belphie would die as a kitten. I'd accepted that he would never grow up. but now he gets to LIVE!

and all for the low cost of $7,553.....ahhhahaha........god.

that + a recent home disaster has wiped out my savings, but I still need to pay for Belphie's medication. to remain in this study, I need to do bloodwork monthly until Feb 2025, and he'll need daily pills until March 2025.

I've put a risograph print + enamel pin set at greerstothers.shop. I hate asking for help, but if you'd like to support Belphie's continued treatment, please consider checking them out!

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Omar Sakr, Non-Essential Work

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hello kitty x algae

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I'm posting some 911 OG behind the scenes photos because somebody *glares at some of the 911 cast* deleted them from their social medias. All 911BTS photos will be tagged: #911 behind the scenes

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everyone please read this and share if you can.

Brazil is going through one of the worst climatic crisis ever seen.

i live in the southernmost state, Rio Grande do Sul. we have been suffering from extreme, nonstop rainstorms for a week now. the rivers are flooding, reaching 4-6 meters above their natural level. people are being rescued by helicopters, neighborhoods are being evacuated. entire cities are slowly but surely becoming submerged in water. 60 people missing and counting. 32 deaths and counting.

and this is not new. last november also had a flood like this one. 50 dead, many material losses. it happened again this january, with thousands being left without power or water for days.

three catastrophical disasters within less than a year. three disasters only a few months apart.

this is not natural.

unsustainable agricultural practices and politics led to this. a complete disregard for nature led to this. greed led to this. always greed.

when it comes to the climate crisis, i cannot stress this enough: we need to act now if we still want to live. disasters like this are going to happen more often and they're going to be much, much worse. this flood is being considered the worst climatic catastrophe in the history of my state. i don't know how long it will take for another bigger one to happen and take its place. i just know it will be sooner than it should.

links to donate (if you can't donate, sharing already helps a lot):

link for non-brazilians (paybox)

link for brazilians

pix assufrgs

will update more links later. in the meantime, pray for us.

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Block and divest from celebrities and influencers -the one's who make millions/billions and continue to remain willfully ignorant and silent about genocide. This newest 'strategy,' for folks who have the time to do so online -please do.

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Holy shit. The Israeli whistleblower story CNN just broke is insane. I cannot believe what I’m reading

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Israeli army shells reach us. They saved the lives of me and my wife, by making a financial donation through my PayPal wallet.