alicewhitmore2

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Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

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What are your thoughts on halsin and clex?

Halsin from Baldur's gate? Looooove him. Big druid elf make brain go brrrrrr. As for clex I used to watch Smallville when I was little and they had lots of history/chemistry haha. I'm curious what the new Superman movie has in store for us

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5 times the batfam uses Dick's name to persecute Bruce

"Dick is ready - "

"Not unless you've taken Viagra, old man"

-

"Dick is up-"

"Do not be disgusting Father."

-

"I need Dick for this."

"I'll call Clark but TMI Bruce."

-

"Dick - "

"Language, Master Bruce."

-

It's been weeks since Bruce last said Nightwing's name out loud, and they are all here to punish him for it.

"I'll remind you all we are in a public space," he says in warning, before sighing heavily. His considers his words and grimaces, but there is no way out. Gordon also appears to be holding back his delight. "Dick will not be available for dinner, Commissioner."

Swanning past, his eldest (who had clearly lied about an emergency in Blüdhaven) remarks, "The catering staff finalised the menu weeks ago, too late to change it B."

He is going to disown them all.

-

Thank you @grannyhitsuzen!

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You know those photos of little birds sleeping together on a branch, all cuddled up in a line? This, but its the Order of the Robins from Dark Knights of Steel, high up on some precarious ledge:

(The photos in question:)

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truly the end goal is not "my close friends aren't annoyed by me and it's all in my head, they're my friends and they love me", it's "sometimes I do annoy my close friends, just as the people I love most will also annoy me sometimes, because this is normal, and we will continue to stay friends, and they're not going to want to immediately cut me out of their life if I do something annoying once in a while"

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PT. 2 of the Father Todd AU ‼️

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Danny barging into the wayne mansion wearing a hoddie and holding a tray of fudge.

"WHERE IS THE OLD MAN?!"

All the bats and birds panicing bc a random broke theu their security measures. Bruce being first to look at him"hey now, i dont think i'm~"

he gets cut off by Danny. "NOT YOU! THE OLD MAN!"

Alfred steps out of the dining room fixing his gloves and suit. Before he can speak danny shoves the plate of fudge in his hands"Happy fathers day from thomas and his wife. They have not stopped hounding me for weeks. And im tired. Please tell me i can say their baby brucie is fine." He says half pleading.

Alfred breaks a small smile before laughing lightly"yes indeed. They are doing well. I am so terribly sorry to have put you in this position. Perhaps we can make it up to you by having you stay for dinner?"

Bruce and the kids are glading ready for a fight unsure of how to interact in this moment."Umm Alfred, do you know this kid?" Dick asks breaking the silence.

Danny turns to him"are you baby brucie? Bc i swear to ancients i need to punch you and i hope you are an adult." Silence as crickets sounds before dick breaks down laughing."no he is behind you ready to punch you himself. Can umm you explain?"

Danny pauses thinking a moment before amiling"you offered me free food. I will gladly accept! Oh! That reminds me! The fudge isnt poisoned or ecto contaminated. So it is safe for normal humans to consume as well as whatever the hell you all are." He waves and follows Alfred theu to the kitchen.

Bruce panic buttons the rest to come home for dinner. This is gonna be a long night.

Meanwhile tim is texting Kon to being supes and jon with him to dinner tonight. Things are about to be spicy!

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I love the very idea of the paris catacombs like. yeah sure the real-life city of paris has a straight-up megadungeon sprawling under it. Why not.

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Part 1

[3 days earlier – Danny’s apartment]

[Doorbell rings. Danny opens door.]

Talia al Ghul (with zero context): “We’re having a family dinner.”

Danny: “...Okay? That’s not ominous at all.”

Talia (stepping in uninvited): “Also. Who is this lovely creature?” points at Jazz, who’s halfway through microwaving leftover mac and cheese

Jazz (blinking): “Um. I’m Jazz. Danny’s sister.”

Talia: “I’ve always wanted a daughter.” turns to Danny “Keep her.”

Now – Location: Demon’s Manor, somewhere Extremely Gothic and candlelit Attendees: Ra’s al Ghul, Talia, Damian, Jazz, Danny and Tim (the only 2 who r dressed like it’s a casual date night)

Ra’s (grinning like he just got his Christmas wish): “So. Timothy. You are courting my grandson.”

Tim (trying not to choke on wine): “...........Yes.”

Ra’s: “Excellent. I always said you had the makings of a perfect heir.”

Danny: “You tried to kidnap him when he was fifteen.”

Ra’s: “And yet he turned out so well. Clearly, I was right.”

Damian: “This is why I have trust issues.”

Talia (to Jazz): “I’ve already cleared a training room. I can begin your blade lessons next week.”

Jazz: “I’m a psychology major.”

Talia: “Perfect. You’ll know exactly how to break people. We’ll make a proper assassin of you yet.”

[Halfway through dinner – sudden crash. Door swings open dramatically.]

Jason Todd (in a leather jacket, holding a wine bottle): “Sorry I’m late, I brought booze and trauma.”

Danny: “Jason??”

Tim (startled): “What are you doing here??”

Jason (shrugging): “Mom invited me.”

Danny & Tim (in sync): “MOM??”

Talia (sipping tea): “He had potential. And rage. And bloodlust. I thought he’d fit in.”

Ra’s: “And he survived death. That makes him very interesting.”

Damian (counting on his fingers): “So to summarize: My biological brother is dating Tim, my adopted brother. My mother wants to adopt my biological brother's adopted sister. Jason crashed dinner because apparently he’s our brother now, too. And Grandfather is trying to draft Tim into his next apocalypse again.”

Jason: “That sounds about right”

Tim (quietly): “I think I need to lie down.”

Danny (still eating like this is normal): “This is honestly the least weird dinner I’ve had this month.”

Jazz (raising her glass): “To found family. Blood bonds. And extremely awkward dating choices.”

Jason: “Cheers to that.”

Ra’s: “Next time, we host at the Lazarus spa. We’ll invite Constantine too.”

Tim (horrified): “PLEASE don’t.”

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Things nick has definitely said offscreen

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Like father like son(s)

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trying to seductively get on my knees for you but my knees crack so loud it echoes and i’m stuck there for five minutes

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Okay but I love the thought of Dick being the only Wayne kid that was never actually adopted. He was only ever a ward. As soon as he turned 18, Bruce technically had no further responsibility for him.

And perhaps that has always sort of fucked with Dick’s head. He always feels lesser than compared to the rest of his siblings. Half the time, he questions if he can even actually call them his siblings.

He and Bruce fought so much when he was a teenager, and Bruce never formally adopted him, and Dick had been living exclusively at Titans Tower for over a year by the time his 18th birthday rolled around, and the rest of the Fab Five may have had to make sure at least one of them was with him at all times for a few days around his birthday because he was so upset, because he was officially no longer Bruce’s problem, because Bruce didn’t even text him a happy birthday message, because he was mourning the loss of a second family and he had no idea what to do.

He and Bruce have since made up, and they’re on much better terms now, but the fact of the matter is that Dick is still technically not a Wayne.

And maybe none of his siblings even know about it until it’s brought up during an interview. Dick gets nervous, but no one can tell other than his siblings. He looks cool as a cucumber to the interviewer and the audience, but his siblings can all tell he’s upset. The interview ends soon after.

And now they’re all in the dining room at the manor, questioning Bruce, questioning Dick, asking them what the hell the interviewer meant by Dick not being adopted. And Bruce has to nervously admit to all his pissed off children that he never adopted Dick. That he and Dick had been on the outs when he was a teenager, and he turned 18 while living away from the manor, and he’d just never adopted him. But that didn’t mean he didn’t love Dick, because he absolutely does, and still thinks of Dick as his son, still loves him.

But that’s not good enough for the others. They refuse to let another interviewer upset their oldest brother like that again. They insist that Bruce needs to adopt Dick now. Immediately.

And now it’s Dick’s turn to get awkward, to get nervous. Because he insists it’s not necessary. He knows Bruce loves him. He doesn’t need to be adopted, he swears.

Turns out, it’s because someone already beat Bruce to adopting him.

“Deathstroke adopted you?” Tim shrieks.

“To be fair, I didn’t realize it was real until a few years ago!”

“What do you mean you didn’t realize it was real?” Jason questions.

“I thought we were just posing as father and son, I thought it was fake documentation!”

“When the hell did this happen?”

“When I was sixteen.”

“Dick,” Bruce says slowly, and Dick sinks in his seat a bit as he turns back to Bruce. “Why would you have thought Slade Wilson had fake adoption documentation for you when you were sixteen?”

Dick laughs nervously, his fingers tugging at the ends of his jacket sleeves.

“Funny story,” he says, his voice getting higher. “So he sort of kidnapped me and blackmailed me to be his apprentice for a while? When I was with the Titans?”

Bruce blinks at him, and all of his siblings are staring at him with open mouths.

“How long were you his apprentice?”

“Oh, you know,” Dick tries to laugh, waving a hand in the air to try to look nonchalant, “eight months or so? It’s such a fuzzy time, who could know for sure!”

“Eight months?” Bruce repeats slowly. “You were held captive by him for eight months, and you never told me?”

“You just said it yourself, we were on the outs!” Dick says quickly. “I didn’t wanna bug you!”

“Bug me?” Bruce looks like he’s about to start panicking. “You thought telling me you’d been kidnapped and blackmailed for nearly a year would bug me?”

“Well, you’d just replaced me,” he ignores the way Jason lets out a strangled sounding noise, “and by the time I got back you seemed so happy with your new kid and everything and I just didn’t wanna get in the way? Or like, bum you out?”

Dick’s own breaths are starting to come in too quickly, and he’s damn near hyperventilating, and he standing from his chair and making his way towards the door as if no one will notice if he moves slowly enough.

“Anyway, I was in a pretty bad place once the Titans got me back, and I probably would’ve been no fun to be around anyway. It’s all fine though! Everything’s fine! And Slade’s not even a total asshole anymore, he even actually checks in every so often. He’s a decent dad, all things considered. Speaking of which, look at the time, I think he wanted to get dinner with me and Joey and Grant, I better get going! Kay great talk good seeing you catch ya later!”

He bolts out of there so fast, Wally would be so proud. He didn’t mean to mention the dinner with the Wilsons he was headed to, but he was nervous, dammit, it just slipped out.

He’s a total wreck by the time he gets to Slade’s, and they all notice. When Dick tells them what happened, they all laugh at him.

Dick has really not had a very good day. It’s been a very bad day, actually. And now he’s stuck ignoring a million texts and calls from Bruce and his siblings.

He asks Slade if he can hide at his place for a few days. Slade easily agrees.

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the thing that I love about James Fucking Flint is that I believe him

he starts giving a speech about how we’re going to destroy the entire british empire and end colonialism once and for all and we’re going to start a new self-governing society outside of the constraints of imperialism and I believe him

I have several centuries of hindsight on my side, but I still listen to this man in 1715 saying he’s going to end the british empire and I think yes you will! 

and of course, Flint’s ability to rouse and rally people to his cause, to talk them around to his side, recurs over and over throughout. to a point that elevates him near godhood. but you never think, oh that’s not realistic. you never think, why are they listening to him. you never think, yeah okay but if they just acted rationally then—

because you. sitting on your couch. in the 21st century. even with the full knowledge of history and also the plot of black sails because you’ve seen it before. 

you hear flint start talking. and you believe him too. you believe he can do it. you believe he’s going to do it. this time. this time, surely he must. 

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