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[aliciaasky]

Let me know what you guys would prefer, because I’m tornnnn ☹️ (acting like I don’t prefer the happy ending)

[aliciaasky]

It was love

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Warnings: Anakin is a senator here, not a Jedi. fluff turning to angst, wrong choices (that’s basically it.)

Summary: Anakin Skywalker, the senator of Tatooine, has to marry. Unfortunately, it happens to be the senator of Aldeeran, not of Naboo. He can never grow to love you, can he?

A/n: this is literally my first post ever and I would appreciate feedback + English isn’t my first language so spread love <3

Anakin was fucking pissed. An arranged marriage? He was the senator of Tatooine not the fucking prince that he needed to be married right now. But his parents thought it was a good idea for him to be married to another senator. The wedding was yesterday, and he had to admit, you were beautiful, breathtakingly so. But he was in love with Padmé, and that since he was 9 years old and saw her for the first time. He instantly knew it was love.

Now he had been married to the senator of Aldeeran for two days, and you were actually pleasant to be around, you were nice and friendly and just over all a ray of sunshine. You tried your best to make the marriage work and he could see that, but his heart yearned for Padmé, it always had. He couldn’t possibly start liking someone else, it would be betrayal, even if the pretty senator of Naboo didn’t even feel the same. His feelings were very much real.

Yet a few months into their marriage, Anakin felt himself starting to warm up a little. You always waited for him at home after he had a long day and he was immediately greeted by a comforted hug and a few kisses on his face

“Oh Ani, long day?“ you had asked, cradling his face lovingly ”it’s okay, I made you lasagna, that’s your favorite right?“ Truthfully, you fell for him, fast and hard. He was already your husband so there was no shame in loving him, right? You had thought he was starting to fall in love too, he always reciprocated your kisses and always stroked your hair when going to sleep.

“Ani?“ you asked gently when laying in bed. „Hm?“ he quietly hummed back, “do you love me?“ you asked with the slightest fear in your voice. There were a few moments of silence

“Of course.“

A few more months later, surprisingly, Padmé, after seeing him getting married, started falling for him too. She wasn’t even trying to hide it. Anakin had yearned for her love for so long, he didn’t even hesitate when she kissed him, and asked him to divorce you. She was a senator after all, so his parents would approve.

He felt bad, truly. But he just couldn’t bring himself to love you, no matter how much and how long he tried. You weren’t the problem, there was nothing wrong with you, it just.. wasn’t there. The feeling he had when he had first seen Padmé on Tatooine all those years ago, it wasn’t there when he was with you. Sure he felt loved and sure he felt warmth, but it just wasn’t the same.

He dreaded the talk with you, you were truly a sweetheart and despite not being in love with you, he still loved you. You were always so attentive, so loving and just so so pure.

“We need to talk.“ Anakin started, looking deep into your eyes. “Ani!“ you beamed, immediately running into his arms, ”how was your day?“

Anakin swallowed hard, looking into her eyes. So full of love. “Look, I love you-“ Anakin started “I love you too!“ you immediately beamed as you interrupted him. “But I’m not in love with you, I’m in love with someone else.“ he finished with a heavy heart. He knew you loved him, but hearing you say that in this right exact moment, made his heart drop.

Your face immediately fell, „what do you mean? Ani, don’t make jokes like that.“ you swallowed, trying to laugh and brush it off like it was just a joke. It was a joke, it had to be a joke, you were so happy together.

“it isn’t you.. it‘s me. I never loved you the way I love her. I tried-“ he swallowed “I really did.“

And you didn’t even have to ask who he was talking about.

You swallowed „so it is me, you can’t love me.“ she sniffles “how could this happen? We were.. we were fine! You can’t joke about something like that!“ you said desperate, your pretty face already filled with tears. Anakin just gently shakes his head, looking at you with pure pity.

”She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.. I’ve loved her since I was a young boy, she was the whole reason I started being interested in politics. She’s my soulmate I just know it. Please understand.“ Anakin begs you and you just sniffle as you trie to stifle your sobs. You didn’t want him to feel bad, it wasn’t his fault after all.

“I want you to be happy, ani. Even if it’s not with me.“ you sniffle and Anakin tears up. You were so sweet and you deserved so so so much better than him. You hug him tightly and whisper reassurances into his ear. He knew you were heartbroken, but you still tried to make sure he wasn’t feeling too guilty.

And boy were you heartbroken. Your parents were proud of you, for once in your whole entire life. They were pleased that you seemed to hold the marriage, they were proud of you for making it work. What would they say now, especially if they hear the reason?

Especially if they see Anakin’s wedding to Padmé and they will know he divorced you for another woman. But you loved him, and you wanted his happiness.

Seeing him so heartbroken made you want to stay strong for him, made you want to comfort him. Even though you were the one who needed comfort, you were the one being divorced for someone else. Someone who was “just an old friend, baby. Don’t think to much into it.“

You had packed all your stuff with Anakin helping you gently. “I‘m just.. I‘m sorry, I wish it was different. I wish-“ the last words hanging in the air, unspoken.

But you knew what he meant. He wished he could’ve loved you. “Me too.“ your face lighting up at the thought.

He sighed, knowing you‘re dreaming of the "what if" right now, in an alternate universe where things were different.

But things weren't different here, and that was painful. That was reality.

You didn't deserve the pain he was causing you, you deserved to go find someone who would actually love you.

When you finished packing, you stood up “i’ll be going back to Aldeeran.“ you said softly “I have to talk to my parents and figure everything out.“

He gave her a weak smile, he hated the thought of her leaving. But it was for the best. "Okay," he agreed softly, giving you a last look. He didn’t know it, but anyone else could’ve seen it, would’ve seen it. The look of longing in his eyes.

You gently take his hands and place your wedding ring into his hands, then she closes them tightly together and give his hands a light kiss “I won’t ever forget you ani.“ you stroked his cheek, your tears running freely now.

He looked down at your gesture for a moment before meeting your eyes, ”i will never forget you either.“ and he meant it, he didn’t know it yet, but he had meant it.

You gently made your way to the door, looking around, desperately trying to burn every detail of your once shared apartment into your head before leaving.

The sight of you, the one he had married, staring at the apartment, trying to remember every single detail in case you never saw it again, was heartbreaking for him.

He almost regretted it, almost wanted to take it all back...But he couldn't, he'd made his choice. And he couldn’t go back, his love for Padmé overthrowing it all.

When you had reached the door, being completely sure that every detail of your home was etched into your mind, you turned around and opened the door “i love you, i pray you never forget that.“ and with that you close the door behind you, leaving everything behind, including your now ex husband.

He should be celebrating, he had gotten what he wanted, he was free to marry the girl he had always wanted, and he wouldn’t even disappoint his parents! So why did he feel so empty?

A few days later Anakin and Padmé married. It was a grand ceremony, Anakin had previously planned it this huge to show his love for her. To show the appreciation for finally giving him a chance after all this time.

But right now, right in this moment, he can’t feel anything. He heard the preachers words, he knows his words about love were true. But why wasn’t he thinking about Padmé, the one standing in the white wedding dress, right in front of him?

“Love is friendship, Love is warmth and a feeling of comfort. Love is acceptance and understanding. Love is knowing that you will be comfortable with this person for the rest of your life-“ the preacher spoke

He knew it was his turn soon, his turn to say yes to the woman he has dreamt of for years.

„i do!“ Padmé replied whole heartedly

Anakin‘s mind drifted towards you, the woman he had left behind. And now, right now, on his wedding day, when he felt his heavy heart over your departure, when he felt the tears stinging at his eyes over the thought of marrying someone else, when he yearned to run away and take the next ship to Aldeeran,

he knew it.

It was love, and it had been all along.