alienonthis3arth

[alienonthis3arth]

I don't want to be "private jet" rich, I want to be "buy everything I want in a museum shop" rich

[alienonthis3arth]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[alienonthis3arth]

drinking an entire bottle of wine then yelling at this like it's the super bowl

[alienonthis3arth]

[alienonthis3arth]

i think about this post CONSTANTLY

[alienonthis3arth]

I also think that all the "um okay knives out & glass onion were good. Wrap it up now" posts are so funny. You're tripping if you think there's not going to be at least five Benoit Blanc films lol

[alienonthis3arth]

being the last one to send a message before the chat falls into sudden silence always feels like u just made the worst faux pas of your life and you go sorry guys was that weird and they're all like no sorry I was just looking at a leaf on tbe ground leaf.jpg like oh ok

[alienonthis3arth]

bro be careful. this is diva country

[alienonthis3arth]

Adobe is going to spy on your projects. This is insane.

[alienonthis3arth]

writing historical fic set in real places is so scary. what if someone who knows more about Philadelphia's timeline to move from gas to electric streetlamps reads my fanfiction and laughs at me

[alienonthis3arth]

I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

[alienonthis3arth]

Two stunning winners ✨️

[alienonthis3arth]

[alienonthis3arth]

When I tell you I snorted!

[alienonthis3arth]

Clan of three😴

[alienonthis3arth]

[alienonthis3arth]

The best photo I took at Dashcon 2