alifeofvariance

[alifeofvariance]

How It All Started

I have stopped telling people I started playing poker when I was 6 years old. Most people either don't believe me or assume it is some kind of hustle, but it is neither. My Great Aunt was my babysitter and she loved to play cards. She saw me as a constant card playing companion, so at an early age I started playing cards. Initially we were playing games like War, and Go Fish.  As soon as I could understand the suits and numbers, the childish games were quickly replaced with 5 Card Draw, 7 Card Stud and Hearts.  By the age of 7 or 8 I had a routine game schedule, penny ante games with my babysitter and the big stakes on some Saturday nights with my Paternal Grandmother and her sister playing penny, nickel and dime variants of poker and gin. I always carried little 1/2 pound plastic deli container that had been cleaned out and repurposed for me to carry my bankroll of change. This childhood also lead to various forays into other forms of pre-adolescent gambling: I loved scratch off lottery tickets, I liked playing Yatzee for a penny a point in the difference between winning/losing scores and Bingo. Bingo game me the first real charge of excitement with winning money. I will never forget seeing the ball "B14" appear on the monitor giving me Bingo. That Saturday night I won $25 and promptly made my way to K&B toys to buy my bounty. At the age of 8 I learned money won is twice as sweet as money earned, and as Robert Frost wrote, "and that has made all the difference." I'm now 42 years old. I have been to Vegas over 60 times. I have spent more time in Atlantic City than I can admit and still maintain my pride. I have been to a lot of casinos and many hidden storage rooms pretending to be card rooms. I read a lot of poker books, attended the World Series of Poker many times (though I have never played a tournament there), and I once played in the World Poker Open when Jack Binion used to host it Tunica, MS. During college I had at least 1 table running in my apartment every night. Sometimes we had 2 tables and we'd play a tournament where the bust outs would start the cash games. I snuck into the Taj Majal when I was 19 years old to play $2-$4 Limit Hold'em. I know every word to Rounders. In the early 2000's my favorite card room was the Poker Room at the Tropicana in Atlantic City. I was the only guy under 55 wearing one of those hideous green satin Tropicana Poker Room jackets out to bars to pickup chicks. Then one day, I just stopped playing. No real reason, no real intention. I just stopped. In the past 20 years I've played poker exactly 5 times. I randomly played a late night session at the Borgata in a $1-$2 No-Limit game during the summer of 2015 and booked a solid $1800 win thanks to my Aces running into Kings and my straight flush over nut flush hands. I booked 2 losses at Charlestown WV Hollywood Cascino, I early busted a random Labor Day tournament at Maryland Live and I booked a very small win at Maryland National Casino in 2018. Aside from those very random foray onto the felt, I just haven't played. I've been busy building companies and spending my time on other pursuits. Two major events have changed my thinking and have me appreciating the hobbies I used to enjoy. First, the Global Covid-19 Pandemic has made me reassess life as I know and live it. I used to take the simple action of walking into a casino, sitting down at a table and plunking down my buy-in for granted. Oh how I'd appreciate sitting at a table with strangers, no mask and telling dirty jokes right now! I have come to really miss and appreciate those things which I used to take for granted in my past. Second, my colleague and mentor was killed by a stray random bullet. Walking to a meeting one day, here one second; gone next. I have tried to explain the event to myself. I have looked at variance, change, the law of big numbers, and plain dumb luck. I even have considered universal plan. But, the fact is I'll never explain it because I'll never know the answer. All I can do is justify it in my brain in a way that makes sense so I keep living. But what I have learned in both situations; appreciate every minute of life, make the best decisions you can about your life with the information you have and never forget that sometimes variance is just going to have its way. Control what you can control and the rest is up to chance. So, welcome to a life of variance.