alilchameleon

[alilchameleon]

Bitches will find a fictional man attractive and then immediately imagine him in situations where he is losing alarming amounts of blood

[alilchameleon]

[alilchameleon]

You see I too often sat in school classes and thought “when am I ever going to need this, I’m never going to be an engineer, I’m never gonna be a scientist, I’m never gonna be a linguist” and then I grew up and it turns out a lot of bigots and cults and scams and grifts hinge their entire business model on you just. Not knowing what a protein is or some shit

[alilchameleon]

Couple + Sibling/relative third wheel is honestly an S-tier trio dynamic and I wish we saw more of this in media.

"You are my soulmate. We are forged together by battle and tears and love. Also my brother's coming along."

"Yo."

[alilchameleon]

you’re going to love again, find a job again, create art again, do what you love again, feel powerful again. you’re going to be back on track. i don’t know when, but you are going to feel like yourself again, eventually. this isn’t the end. hang in there.

[alilchameleon]

don’t let your job stop you from enjoying an unemployed summer

[alilchameleon]

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

[alilchameleon]

You can't spell advertisements without putting semen between tits

[alilchameleon]

everyone's secret pinterest boards and private spotify playlists and deleted posts and dms and browser history and location and birth certificate and the inside of their house should be available to me for free whenever i want. i'm not going to do anything malicious with the information i just want to see

[alilchameleon]

[alilchameleon]

BABY JUMPING SPIDERS- JUST PAY SHIPPING!

My pet regal jumping spider Orange Chicken has had babies! So, so many babies! We have approximately 80 babies we don't know what to do with, and we're freaking out a little bit!

Regal jumpers make really fantastic pets. They're incredibly easy and inexpensive to care for, and they've got huge personalities for how small they are. They're curious and active, and jumping spiders are frequently cited as "cute" spiders that help arachnophobes begin to step out of their comfort zone. My partner has written up a great, very thorough care sheet which you can find here (x). Enclosures typically range from $15-$40 (I highly recommend the brand Tarantula Cribs!) and you can get super creative with the decorations you put inside for them.

We're local to Arizona, and willing to arrange pickup if you're also local. Otherwise, there are several postage services that work with the regulations on shipping live animals, and if you pay for shipping, we're happy to send spiders to you! We're generally asking for $15 per spider, but if you send us a photo of the enclosure you intend to keep it in, we'll send it for free (price of shipping only).

The babies were just separated from Mama Chicken last night, so they should be good to send out to new homes in approximately four to six weeks. We're trying to arrange for as many homes as possible between now and then.

Please message me on Discord at Feywildwest if you're interested or would like more info!

[alilchameleon]

Beyond obsessed with them. Some head canons below the cut

The Wonderful Widogast

Alchemist artificer

Snake oil sales man

A caleb that believes “damn youre right i was just a kid and none of that was my fault”

“Killed” Bren

Magic tattoos

Ready to fake his death at a moments notice

Molly

“Hes catholic now”

Extremely haunted by the somnovem but has no context as to why

Thinks you can go to jail for thought crimes

“I woke up with this awful little voice in my head which means im Broken and need to be Fixed”

He’ll try anything once

[alilchameleon]

by Christian Spencer

[alilchameleon]

I've already said this but you really gotta just stop trying to write social commentary if you don't know anything about social theory. Put the racism allegory down if you don't understand how racism works. For the love of god stop

[alilchameleon]

The Aliens Are Coming And They're Coming To Fuck

[alilchameleon]

homeopathy people would go crazy in a world with magic. actually healing spell is bad for you, my awesome spell that makes light come out of my hands is the only thing that can truly heal your body and soul for real

[alilchameleon]

I have 74 diseases