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The contestants are to perform in an airplane hangar for some reason, and Ryan Seacrest’s voice-over makes it seem like this is the height of taste and sophistication. Really, it’s a garage for cars with wings. Everyone knows this. The secret is out about airplane hangars.

Paul F. Tompkins, “Paul F. Tompkins on Las Vegas Making J.Lo and Beatles Fans Cry”

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In his abject misery, Corey does a genius thing that I wish I’d had in my sadness quiver as a child: He puts his coat over his head and sobs under it, privately. J.Lo goes over and calls him honey and puts her arm around him. Well, I want that. I want to put my coat over my head and cry and have J.Lo comfort me. I don’t see why I can’t have the things in life that everyone else gets.

Paul F. Tompkins, “Paul F. Tompkins Recaps American Idol ’s Solo Night”

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Sophia sings barefoot, by the way. I do NOT get the barefoot thing. It indicates that you’re a “free spirit,” right? Only we didn’t start wearing shoes as a function of shame. It was more so you wouldn’t step on sharp things, or in shit. Put your shoes on. I know you have them.

Paul F. Tompkins, “Paul F. Tompkins Recaps American Idol ’s Solo Night”

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It takes a Village People.

Scott Aukerman, (Comedy Bang Bang #441)

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Santa sums up Scott Aukerman

Santa (Paul F. Tompkins): (to Scott Aukerman) You are one exasperating motherfucker, let me tell you.

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Scott Talks to Al A. Peterson

Al A. Peterson (Paul F. Tompkins): People love to talk to me on the phone.

Scott Aukerman: Do they? People call you just for pleasure?

Al A. Peterson (Paul F. Tompkins): They don't announce that's what they're doing but who am I to judge.

Scott Aukerman: Now I have a rule whenever anyone calls me. I immediately ask "Is this business or pleasure?"

Al A. Peterson (Paul F. Tompkins): Sound.

Scott Aukerman: "Sound" and that is what we hear on the phone are sounds.

Al A. Peterson (Paul F. Tompkins): You're very good at word associations. You have a promising career as a psychiatric patient.

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Paul and Jen perform a dramatic radio play about the effects of the Todd Glass Show on young impressionable teens. (The Todd Glass Show - Episode 86 - Paul F. Tompkins and Jen Kirkman

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Paul F. Tompkins reminiscences about the first time he saw a comedian by the name of Todd Glass. (The Todd Glass Show - Episode 86 - Paul F. Tompkins and Jen Kirkman)

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The Todd Glass Show - Jimmy Pardo

Todd Glass: Joe made a thing for you

Jimmy Pardo: Who did?

Todd Glass: Joe. Joe. Lyricist Joe. Jingle Joe. The guy who does all the music for the show. So it's very short notice--

Jimmy Pardo: [outraged] Nobody listens to this!--

Todd Glass: No, no, no--

Jimmy Pardo: The production values are a me--it's like people--

Todd Glass: We're voted number one by the Podcasters Association of America.

Jimmy Pardo: [shocked] P.A.A?!

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Paul and Scott on a Stars Wars rumour

Paul F. Tompkins: Now did you hear the rumor that one of the Cantina characters was actually Adrien Brody reprising his famous Rastaman character from SNL?

Scott Aukerman: (laughing) Booyakashaa!

Paul F. Tompkins: I will never ever forget--

Scott Aukerman: Sean Paul!

Paul F. Tompkins: (laughing)

Scott Aukerman: My Neck! Respect Ma Neck!

Paul F. Tompkins: (laughing) Respect Ma Neck!

Scott Aukerman: I believe he was in there with just a - what do you call those reggae hats?

Paul F. Tompkins: Hats?

Scott Aukerman: (laughing) You just call them hats, because you're such a reggae fan

Paul F. Tompkins: (laughing) Exact--

Scott Aukerman: It's like Chinese food to you. When you live in China.

Paul F. Tompkins: (laughing) "Do you guys want to have some Chinese food from the food we eat here in China?"

(Comedy Bang! Bang! - Best of 2015 Part 1)

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Paul and Scott on Dr. Seuss

Paul F. Tompkins: Why wasn't that story called "Why The Grinch Stole Christmas"?

Scott Aukerman: Exactly!

Paul F. Tompkins: Because the method was not that interesting. It's not like it was Oceans Eleven.

Scott Aukerman: That's what I mean yeah, it wasn't a caper.

Paul F. Tompkins: It was just burglary!

Scott Aukerman: It wasn't the The Italian job!

Paul F. Tompkins: [laughs]

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Clap Trap

The Bob Timmins Band

The Automatics

The Dinkles

Soccer

Julie and the Drug Squads

Perverted Justice

Mushy Peas

Denim Clad Dad

Maps and Legends: The R.E.M. Show

Tim Petty and the Heartbreakers

Junior Thigh School

Japanese Spaghetti

The Breeding

Van Morris-Halen

Stomach...

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The Best Show on WFMU - Hot Rockin’ Ronny [First Appearance] - 10/17/2000

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