all-about-baron-blog

[all-about-baron-blog]

Do you ever feel as if every aspect of your life is so unbelievably mundane? Like even when you meet someone new or try something new it always turns into the undeniable outcome or repeat of something thats already happened. Everyday i run on such little energy because even when i get a full nights rest the fusade i put on tires me out so quickly.... Do i live in a wolrd where nothing seems fun anymore at only 21 but why, but how? There are alot of things i still have yet to try or accomplish, but yet there is a small voice that always calls out in the back of my head asking whats the point, why even try when it all ends the same... Sometimes i miss my broken parts, the part of me that refused to feel anything or allow my self to be broken or hurt, or really feel anything but good things for fear of facing my own self in there mirror for absolutely everything that i am... in todays world we take so many selfies and pictures of our selves to show the world we love our selves but infact a lot of the time it is the exact opposite.... and we need the outside world to tell us how absolutely breathtaking we actually are when in reality, no one will ever be the right person to tell you this because believing it your self takes all the doubt of someone else sincerity...

Feeling lost just seems like a never ending path, where do i look, how do i let go of the weight of the world (my world that is) that is holding me back and making me drag my feet, why can’t i just find the light at the end of this unforgiving dark tunnel ive fallen down... whos hand is out reached if anyones at all.....

Manic people only become manic when the depressive emotions are close to over flowing.... and yet even though i know this i love every moment of being manic, of having energy untouched by sleepless nights, over or under eating, and/or, pain both physical or mental. Being manic is so freeing, that when you are in these moments its so hard to identify them as unsafe and extremely dangerous for not only our bodys but our minds as well... i guess avoidense is a major wepon in a minc persons arsenal. You say things to your self like “im not manic im just happy for once” but never realizing all the while youre about to take a almost fatal hit. You also say something along the lines of “im not hungry right now” but yet you havnt eaten in several hours and havent had a substantial meal in days... being manic is feeling as if you can fly or read minds or move things with your mind because in these small moments you truly believe you are capable of moving mountains when in reality your digging your own grave a little deeper each time.... getting help is so important and realize that no one can handle this life alone so here i am ... trying to allow my self to break the barriers i worked so hard to put up

[all-about-baron-blog]

We all grow differently, make and break differently, make strides , and break barriers differently, get hurt and morn differently, and are happy and get excited differently, we all obsess and isolate differently.... So who’s to say what time is best for me to make the correct moves in my life other then my self .... one step closer toward independence.... one heart break or life changing event closer to finding myself .... and one step closer to achieving everything i want in life ❤️