allbeendonebefore

[allbeendonebefore]

[allbeendonebefore]

LOOK OK I WAS SO NORMAL ABOUT IT TOO

Dragging myself out of bed partly because free pancakes and partly because I know if I miss art walk this year I'll regret it

[allbeendonebefore]

So uh accidentally had Naheed Nenshi suggest we take a selfie together

Dragging myself out of bed partly because free pancakes and partly because I know if I miss art walk this year I'll regret it

[allbeendonebefore]

Dragging myself out of bed partly because free pancakes and partly because I know if I miss art walk this year I'll regret it

[allbeendonebefore]

Thebes: remember how you accused me of Medism in 480 for getting too close to Persia??? are you not engaging in some intimate Medism yourself right now???

Sparta: ......................................................

Sparta: actually Persia's the one getting Laconized so

Thebes: EW!!!!!!!!????????

[allbeendonebefore]

Thebes: You're still hanging out with Persia

Sparta: So

Thebes: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.

Sparta: Whatever, those rules aren't real.

Thebes: They were real in 480 when I hung out with Persia!

Sparta: Yeah because that alliance was disgusting

Thebes: YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!

[allbeendonebefore]

Thebes: so at first no one was my friend because I was too close to Persia

Thebes: Then Sparta was my friend because we both hated Athens

Thebes: Then Athens was my friend because Sparta wouldn't destroy Athens hard enough for my liking

Athens: cheers i'll drink to that bro!

Corinth: wait, what?

Thebes: And now Sparta's the one who's too close to Persia and also who sucks for trying to get us to destroy Persia, so you're ALL my friends

Argos: ...I mean 'friends' is a strong word I'd settle for Guys who Happen to Jump on the Hating Sparta Bandwagon When It's Convenient With Perpetual Sparta-Hater, Me, but ok.

Athens: All in favour of "Guys who Think Sparta is Unbearably Sexy But Also Unbearably Unbearable" say aye!

Thebes: ok stop this is my meeting guys can I just be hegemon without your gross democratic input :[

Corinth: Can We Take This Further Away From My House Guys???

[allbeendonebefore]

Sparta: ok so I was thinking

Sparta: Trojan War 2

Thebes: ?????????????????????????????????

Sparta: Sacrifice at Aulis next week if you want to come

Thebes: [shows up at Aulis and destroys the sacrifice]

Sparta: "No" would be sufficient...

[allbeendonebefore]

Athens: Sparta has made living at home absolutely unbearable can I crash with you

Thebes: [silent existential crisis trying to decide whether he hates Athens or Sparta for not destroying Athens more]

Athens: [pushing past] cool thanks! got any snacks?

Thebes: uh

Athens: Is That My Fucking LAMP in your living room?!

[allbeendonebefore]

Sparta: ok so we have torn down the long walls, reduced the Athenian fleet to a mockery of its former glory, destroyed democracy (again), and have put in a garrison of ex-Helots

Thebes and Corinth: Finish Him

Sparta: what??? no look at him

Athens: 🥺🥺🥺

Sparta: think of the great services to Hellas he helped with in the past

Persia: yeah you tell them babe! :3

Sparta: ....................anyways

[allbeendonebefore]

vive l'été

[allbeendonebefore]

got caught off guard by the latest pokemon go update suddenly no longer being compatible with my phone so all the clearing-space-off-frantically for yet another stupid update was ultimately fruitless. like. give some warning.

but now i still get push notifs like oh an egg is hatching and here's me wallowing in despair after playing since the beginning like... what about all my pachirisus... why did you take my family...... TTATT

i have to find OTHER REASONS to go outside and explore new areas now?! what about my local gym nemeses - i only just got back in town and now i'm banned from excising them from gyms so dead it takes half a week minimum to dislodge an opponent? what will they think happened to me...

[allbeendonebefore]

Sparta: we cannot ignore that Athens deliberately and willingly violated the peace and have to go attack them now. Again.

Thebes: (pokes out from under Sparta's cloak) hehe yyyyoink (starts filling a bag with Athens' stuff) hehehe

[allbeendonebefore]

Thebes post peace of nicias like "ah damn the war is over and we need friends who hate Athens who have we got

Thebes: Corinth and Megara?? Uhhh hmm idk, kind of scary

Thebes: Argos? Democratic allies of Athens, yikes :// no thanks

Thebes: I Guess It's Just You And Me Old Buddy Old Pal

Sparta: don't touch me

Thebes: you got it boss!!

[allbeendonebefore]

The back and forth over Delos between Thebes and Athens is so comical (I mean, for a gruesome war story meant to showcase the moral decline) like "how can we commemorate this victory? Oh what if we had a festival! And we can call it the Delia!" Meanwhile Athens in the BG literally already celebrating their own Delia...

[allbeendonebefore]

Thebes: (making a funeral stele)

Thebes: how do we make this so that people don't mistake it for Athenian

Thebes:

Thebes: here is our guy in an intimate and loving sexy scene with his wife :)

[allbeendonebefore]

Cartledge: So Pagondas arranged the Thebans in an unusually deep hoplite formation which risked being outflanked by the Athenians

Cartledge: which is exactly what happened.

Me: whoo go Thebes queen of "(doing everything wrong) like this?"

Cartledge: only then since it wasn't common to put national symbols on shields the Athenians accidentally got confused and started killing each other instead of the enemy

Me: whoo Thebes coming from behind champs

Me: (do not think about hockey do not dont)