allcolorsinone

[allcolorsinone]

Imagine having a good parent

A supportive parent

A parent who genuinely cares about you

Two parents and both are inflicting wounds on me. Wounds I'll never recover from

[allcolorsinone]

I wish people still didn't live past 30*

*those random aunties and uncles and your parents' aunties and uncles who just keep going on and on about shadi shadi shadi

[allcolorsinone]

Call me a selfish and narcissist but when I read the stories about those who passed away in the crash

All I could think was - Why wasn't that me?

They were people with hopes and dreams, some who achieved their dreams and were going to live them yet they're gone, just like that

And I'm here, wanting it to end, I go to bed and I beg to die in my sleep, but I wake up clinically alive

How much longer do I need to suffer?

[allcolorsinone]

People think I'm joking when I say I have no will to live

[allcolorsinone]

If God exists, I better access to a way that is quick and easy and available at all times to unalive myself

[allcolorsinone]

Parents would rather want you to suffer with wrong people (eg. Relatives and forced arranged marriages) but can't let you be in peace alone.

[allcolorsinone]

Spending a minute with either of my parents ruins my mood

I'm in the depression prison living with the culprits

[allcolorsinone]

Wanna pull a Sylvia plath

[allcolorsinone]

And when the savior needed saving.... there was no one

[allcolorsinone]

And suddenly, all the songs that made me think of you and feel better started making me cry my eyes out

[allcolorsinone]

Maybe if I start having a will to live

I will die

[allcolorsinone]

Khush to marungi

Par nahi

Ek qaidi jaisa jeevan deke andar se maar dena chahte hain mere baap

[allcolorsinone]

How do I work with this heart break

I can physically feel it in my chest now

[allcolorsinone]

Thank you so much for making me hate myself.

Thank you so much for counting and reminding me things that you did for me, that you won't do for anyone else. If you have to count and remind, you never did those for the sake of it.

[allcolorsinone]

You don't deserve me

I deserve someone gentle and sensitive

I've had enough traumas because of angry people in my life

[allcolorsinone]

Apology as empty as your EQ

Apologizing just to shut me up

Low, even for you

[allcolorsinone]

Making fun of me for my anxiety and OCD spirals because of fears

But accusing me of thinking bad of you when you make fun of me and "I'm done" when I try to explain something

Very well done

Maybe I really am better off without you