allerdeguise

[allerdeguise]

Just finished Countess Cagliostro and that last anon reminded me i should draw more OG Lupin. Have one dumb thief boy.

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a fun thing about me is i love to steal diamonds surrounded by lasers that are in glass displays and burlap sacks with dollar signs on them

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// im normal about him.......

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Lupin, seconds before being arrested by Ganimard: Ugh! I can't believe I'm gonna have sex with him.

Herlock Sholmes: Well, You don't have to.

Lupin: No, I'm gonna.

[allerdeguise]

&. 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  an  assortment  of  dialogue  prompts  for  various  crime  /  mafia  /  detective  /  criminal  underworld  scenarios.  trigger  warning  for  dark  themes.  feel  free  to  change  as  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ i always get paid in the end, one way or another. ❜

❛ maybe you just need someone to tell you what to do. ❜

❛ i don’t think you fully understand the situation you’re in. ❜

❛ rule one: don’t get caught. ❜

❛ i do what people pay me to do. ❜

❛ consider this a professional courtesy. ❜

❛ i want us to be friends. i want us to trust each other. ❜

❛ you thought you could just fuck with us, and we wouldn’t fuck with you? ❜

❛ can we just exchange three words without you pulling a gun on me? ❜

❛ the detective’s life isn’t an easy one. but it rarely lacks for excitement. ❜

❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ tell me, what was life like on the other side? ❜

❛ so, to what do i owe this pleasure? ❜

❛ how many fights have you been in this week? ❜

❛ you want a silencer pistol? sure, if one’s on sale. ❜

❛ go ahead. you might as well finish the job. ❜

❛ can i at least buy you a drink? ❜

❛ you’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep this up. you know that, right? ❜

❛ we’re not all savages here, sweetheart. ❜

❛ the only thing that’s gonna keep you safe in this world is that gun. ❜

❛ i’ll teach you something about punishment. ❜

❛ do we have your allegiance or not? ❜

❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜

❛ you wanted the truth. i’ve given it to you. it’s up to you what you do with it. ❜

❛ you’re playing nurse to a killer, you know. ❜

❛ this your idea of laying low? ❜

❛ looks like you could use a bodyguard. ❜

❛ you look great. like a million bucks of real money. ❜

❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜

❛ drink all you want, but we need to stay focused. ❜

❛ you’re like a cockroach i can’t kill. i mean it in a good way. ❜

❛ you eat, or you get eaten. animals call it survival. humans call it business. ❜

❛ i could teach you how to fight, but i wasn’t equipped to take care of you. ❜

❛ i wanted to hurt them for the way they hurt you. ❜

❛ no one’s worth a bullet between the eyes. ❜

❛ may i have my gun back? ❜

❛ who taught you how to do that? ❜

❛ i’m gonna make you an offer. one time only. ❜

❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜

❛ you still have to keep up appearances. ❜

❛ the bodies he buried laid the foundation of what we are now. ❜

❛ imagine how quickly you can succeed if you just take what you want. ❜

❛ that wasn’t a punch. if i’d punched you, you’d be on the floor. ❜

❛ the choice to live an ordinary life is no longer an option for me. ❜

❛ i need you to focus on this case. not on me. can you do that? ❜

❛ you’re still an honest person. it’s the rest of the world that’s gone crooked. ❜

❛ all you need to do is exactly what i tell you to do. ❜

❛ i’ve done things i’m not proud of. i’ve hurt people and i’m going to hurt more. ❜

❛ blood money buys the best art. ❜

❛ everyone who ever helped me is dead. i don’t want that to happen to you. ❜

❛ i don’t kill people. not even scumbags like you who deserve it. ❜

❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜

❛ you’re not very good at retiring. ❜

❛ remember who the real enemy is. ❜

❛ you’re one of us now. nobody ever tell you that? ❜

❛ i’m the lucky one who pulled you out of the garbage. ❜

❛ if it were up to me, you would’ve been dead a long time ago. ❜

❛ everyone in that room has lived far worse than anything you’ve ever done. ❜

❛ if you’re doing it to help someone, doesn’t that make it okay? ❜

❛ you don’t get to be at the top without making enemies looking to tear you down. ❜

[allerdeguise]

Plotting call! // Drop a like and I’ll come by your inbox / IMs, or vice versa! Mutuals feel free to ask for discord bc tumblr’s buggy for me :^)

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// a very accurate summary of the epilogue:

lupin: and then i got rejected even though i saved her son from jail

narrator: wait isn't she twice your age

lupin: yes, it's definitely her who i've proposed to and not her son, who was my private secretary, knew my very secret apartment address, who i've committed murder for and just named his child after me

narrator:

lupin:

lupin: also i slept with 7 different women last week

// just remembered how the first time lupin killed someone was via sniper rifle

that entire book was lupin scrambling to save his idiot henchmen who accidentally murders a guy during a burglary, getting absolutely ragged on and thrown through the blender by the plot, then at the very end was just

*cocks gun* "i'm done with this shit"

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// just remembered how the first time lupin killed someone was via sniper rifle

that entire book was lupin scrambling to save his idiot henchmen who accidentally murders a guy during a burglary, getting absolutely ragged on and thrown through the blender by the plot, then at the very end was just

*cocks gun* "i'm done with this shit"

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@magician-under-the-moonlight​ said: 

     "You know, I received a very interesting question from a fellow phantom thief one day. His name was Joker, you know, the one that steals hearts?"  Kaito sits up a bit, tipping his top hat. "I suppose I'll pass the question to you, since you seem knowledgeable on the subject, Tantei-ojii-san."

    "Out of all the phantom thieves that you know, which one do you think is the best out of all of them?"

   "Joker?" he says, followed by a slight pause as if he is attempting to recall the name.  

   "Oh that! You don't mean the rumored band of thieves in Tokyo... said able to 'steal' the evils from the hearts of scoundrels?"

Japan seems to have amassed herself quite a collection of these so-called "phantom thieves" in recent years. From KID himself and the brief visits of Chat Noir and Corbeau, to the self-proclaimed Lupin III... and now, the most recent edition to the bunch, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts. One might ought to question where such an outlandish and bizarre assortment of characters are all coming from.

   " 'Thief'... appears to be a ill-fitted descriptor for your friend," he comments slowly. From what is known of the group, they should be more correctly termed as vigilantes — with an eccentric sense of fashion — and blackmailers, perhaps, assuming for their most likely method of operation. 

   "As for your friend's question, of which you've so graciously extended to me... Perhaps the title of 'best thief' is most appropriate on France's most notorious burglar of the past century, Arsène Lupin. After all, many of the 'phantom thieves' of this era seem to take after him... wouldn't you say?" The start of a smile dances at the edge of his mouth, as if he were telling a joke. He then continues, in a feign thoughtful posture:

   "But I suppose it would be quite unfair to nominate for a man long dead...ah! Perhaps that cheeky gentleman in white who took off with the jewel this evening? He's a scrappy little urchin with much to learn, such as usage of the proper honorifics... 

   “Quite a clever lad still! He has the potential... Send my compliments for tonight's show if you see him..."

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WHY DO YOU HAUNT YOUR HOUSE?

to tell your story.

you're a desperate ghost. the people in your home can't seem to hear you, but you need them to. so you grow louder, bolder, and more obvious. but if they do notice, they don't listen. instead, they leave. you can't move on to the afterlife until someone tells your story. you just don't want to be forgotten. when you were alive, you were always running around, working, trying to earn everything── even if it was offered freely. as a ghost, you only turn it up a notch. you can't let your hard work go to waste. if you're forgotten, it's like you were never here. like you never mattered. i hope you remember that you do matter. that even if you can't save the world, you can help your little corner of it. i hope you let yourself rest. you deserve it.

stolen from @zenigatakeibu​ >:^)

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Arsène Lupin : I'm 23, I'm a celebrity and, today, I'm gonna die !

Ganimard : Not one word of that is true.

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via

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// showing off the newest additions in my tiny Lupin Collection™

my lizard brain immediately jumped on the kickstarter campaign for this back in february bc it's so rare to see new stuff for the OG lupin these days... it ended getting delayed for months but it's finally here...!! and look at how gorgeous it is...!!!

a wild lupin spotted in his natural habitat ^^^

bullying ganimard in HD

rare unnamed narrator art...!!! aka lupin's bestie and leblanc's self insert

*lupin vc* herlock sholmes... (derogatory)

and my favourite illustration in the book :^)

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‣ magician-under-the-moonlight / “ Kid l'Insaisissable. „​

“I hope you can tell why I called you here, Tantei-ojii-san,” Kaito murmurs under his breath as he leans against Barnett’s side, his own white gloves gripping at the wound and becoming a deeper shade of red.

“These unwelcome guests of mine are growing more bold…” he chuckles humorlessly, doing his best to keep his persona in check so he doesn’t end up panicking and passing out. Damn, it hurts.

As the volley comet’s approach grows closer, so grows the desperation of the relentless murder of crows that continue to lurk in the shadows of his spotlight. This is their third appearance in a row now, and they’ve grown even more trigger happy. Kaito has to find it first….

The ruby he’s stolen tonight did not glow red in the moonlight, but it certainly is a shade deeper now that it’s stained with his blood.

Barnett was almost impressed the by the cheek of the boy — he still had the pluck and will, good — jesting him under the hellish shock of it all. But at the moment, there are more pressing matters to focus his thoughts upon.

He gives a quick eye to the stairwell entrance to the left of them.  

"We must leave before your good, uniformed friends of the law come harrowing to your aid..." He mutters. Much too late to be of any actual help, he doesn't say. Always a step behind, the bumbling fools, the lot of them. Not even the competency to properly secure the perimeters from the true threats-

With careful hands, he eases under the boy's arms to shift them both into an upright crouch, ready to carry him off.

"Boy, tell me your escape route—you ought to have one on foot from here—lend me one of your smoke gadgets, there, we shall have to make a dash for it."

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‣ zenigatakeibu​ / “ Inspector Zenigata. „

       “A duchess..?” Zenigata leans closer, eyebrows pinching together in thought. That is interesting… He had already suspected something larger at play– something operating just out of sight, happily at home in the shadows. But, almost treacherously, those suspicions turn to Raoul instead; the beginnings of paranoia– age-old and habitual– creep in step alongside them. How had he known that? There’d been no mention of a headpiece in any of the reports he’d read, nothing during the interrogation, either. Of course–

       Snap!

       – It’s just his luck that the man moves on before he can think to press for more.

       .. Food… Yes, he needs to eat, now, doesn’t he? Yet there’s a firm blink as the inspector grudgingly reorients himself, a hand already having been sent to the inside of his trenchcoat for that trusty pen and pad. Red kanji begins to fill the page in the form of shorthand– he blinks again as he glances upward, already painfully distracted.

       “Er– sure, if it isn’t too much trouble. Would you mind repeating that name, though? Duchess of…?”

Raoul puts a finger up in between them impatiently, as if to shush the man. "—not another word! Good lord, man, have you consulted a mirror? You're dead upon your feet! By the rate of it we'd have lost you to the next blink..."

He folds his arms back.

"What more will it take? Shall you wait till you're finally in the ground?" Raoul shoots a sharp look towards him, dropping the bag of backed goods on top of his pen and paper with a decisive thump, as if daring the inspector to object.

"Eat — I shall not hear another peep of it for the remainder of our ride — then we will have coffee and proper breakfast and a pleasant stroll through Rue de Médicis, and I'll tell you all that you'd need to know."                

He continues, almost to himself, in an indignant grumble and huff. "Really, that's the problem with honest men...  Absolutely no sense of subtlety... What an ordeal!"

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// oop disappeared for a bit there bc i lost my muse for a bit and was busy w moving but!! i did write replies on the plane ride so, yeah hi, not dead yet :^)

[allerdeguise]

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank You” will suffice. None of this “How did you get in my house” business. So rude