alliynl

[alliynl]

Twinkling watermelon will always have a special place in my heart!🙁 i love it sm, no words can express how much this drama has made me feel so grateful and blessed for having such good friends, parents, and a life. Watermelon sugar! Viva la vida!🍉🫂

May 21, 2025

3:21pm

[alliynl]

May 15, 2025

📍Philippines

The “girls group chat” is blowing up. Kate invited ppl to play mc and yk where? The tlauncher… keith also invited me to download and play mc using that launcher SAME TIME LAST YEAR!!! What the sigma??!!

Like the fact that the same person who has the same inital which is K invited ppl or person to play the exact same game and launcher is unpredictable and unexpected✨

Im typing this rn because it its very amazing and cool. Like this is rare to happen in a year and a lifetime so i should document this hahahahahha

This made me relapse more and think about what happened from last year…

😂😂😂

[alliynl]

He really didn’t hurt me hahaha.

We ended in “good terms” and yes he didn’t hurt me at the time we ended, i was the one who hurt him.

Ang green flag nya talaga gagi hahaha

I remember group of friends kami nun it was sept ba or oct, nasa quad Kami tas K is near hindi nmn sa pinapahalata ko pero im like inaavoid sya. Napansin ng mga kasama ko and they asked why am i acting like that, i told them the reason ofc pero i didn’t say na may past kami, i js told them na wala may iniiwasan lang ako. Tas idk nakita ata nila sya, sinabi agad na its abt K. I didn’t even tell them na sya or whatsoever. Napunta na sa topic about K, how he is, is he good. And i find myself talking good about him, how good of a person he is, how he’s so sweet and a walking green flag… i can never talk shit about you, you know that.

Im sorry, for being the reason why you have to end us. Im sorry for changing, for not being able to share, i was selfish.

May 6, 2025

[alliynl]

This Choi Seungcheol AU is honestly one of the best I’ve read—it’s in my top 10 for sure. The love in this story is just so raw and bittersweet, but it feels so real. Every line hits so deep, like I can’t stop thinking about it. The way he loves her, the things he’s willing to do just for her, even if it means burning the whole world… ugh, it’s everything.

That one line, “You are the choice that I made and the path that I chose. Both I never regretted, not even once, not even at all,” broke me. And then the part where it says, “After everything, there was still an after you. But here it was yet you are still in it. Not as a person but as the wind, the sun, and the stars…” I can’t even explain how much it hurts but in the best way possible.

I cried so hard at the ending. They didn’t get their happy ending, but their love still stayed. It’s just so good, I swear it’s something I’ll remember for a long time.

November 23, 2024

[alliynl]

" You are the choice that I made and the path that I chose. Both I never regretted, not even once, not even at all. "

-Santi

An au made by .onlycheonsa

11/23/24

[alliynl]

Ipinagmamalaki ko ang pagiging Pinoy dahil marami kaming tradisyon tulad ng pagsasalo tuwing Pasko at fiesta. Ginaganap din namin ang mga tradisyong tulad ng pagsusuot ng pula tuwing Chinese New Year para sa swerte. Bukod dito, ipinagdiriwang namin ang Pasko nang sama-sama bilang isang masayang tradisyon sa pamilya.

Pokus sa Layon, Pokus sa Ganapan

[alliynl]

Atleast i was once loved by him.

The first time i saw him, I remember it so clearly. His smile was like sunshine, and he laughed so easily, it made me happy to hear it. His clean look made him twice attractive. The way he played his favorite sport, i knew it back then that i fell.

Kapag nagkukwento siya tungkol sa mga bagay na gusto niya, kapag nag uusap kami tungkol sa mga tao and topic na parehas namin pinagtatawanan, he’s eyes were shining effortlessly. The type of guy na gusto mo nalang makinig nang makinig sakanya. He was like a song that gets stuck in your head, I just can't stop thinking about him. I was completely drawn to him.

I'm happy I got to love him, kahit sa sandaling oras lang. Its so much more better when he loved me even for a short time than not feeling the same love even once, 'di ba? He wasn't perfect, but to me, he was everything. His little flaws just made me love him even more.

I thought if I loved him really, really hard, he would stay with me forever. Pero i was wrong. He decided to go his own way, and I'm the only one who's still here, thinking about him. Even though things didn't work out, I still love him.

The feeling where im still hoping, so bad. But i know that fate doesn’t want us to have another chance that will come to waste.

[alliynl]

Sana kapag pwede na, pwede pa

Sana kapag umayon na ang tadhana sa’tin, pwede pa. Sana pag pareho na tayong okay, kaya pa nating subukan ulit. Di ko alam kailan ’yon, pero umaasa pa rin ako.

Gusto ko, dumating ’yung araw na wala nang sakit, wala nang takot. Na kaya na nating ibigay ’yung isa’t isa ng chance ulit.

Ayokong umasa masyado, pero hindi ko rin mapigilan. May part sa’kin na naniniwalang baka may chance pa. Hindi pa malinaw lahat ngayon, pero gusto pa rin kita.

Sana hindi pa ako huli.

Sana hindi pa ‘to ‘yung ending natin.

Kung magkita man tayo ulit, sana andun pa rin ‘yung naramdaman natin noon. Kahit maliit lang ‘tong pag-asa, dito pa rin ako kumakapit.

[alliynl]

It’s been three days, and I’m still here thinking about what could’ve been—his name, or maybe even if he felt the same way about me. I honestly don’t know, but I can’t help regretting all the chances I didn’t take. If only I did this, or if only I said that, maybe I’d have his socials by now. Maybe I’d be chatting with him throughout my day instead of being stuck wondering. It’s crazy to me how a random stranger I met at the school fair has had this much of an impact on me.

What makes it even harder is that I feel sad for him, knowing he’s working at such a young age. I don’t even know if he’s still studying—when I think back on his actions and how he carried himself, it feels like maybe he isn’t. And it’s not like I’m assuming things about his life, it’s just that I don’t know him yet, but I really want to. What can I do, though? The more I think about it, the more I wish I could’ve taken that one step to get closer to him. Now, I’m left wondering what could’ve been.

[alliynl]

we grieve the future we will never have. we grieve the memories we will never make. we grieve the person we will never marry. i know that i am making the right decision by leaving but that doesnt make the grief easier. i am at peace with my own company but that doesnt mean i dont miss the comfort of having someone by my side through the ups and downs of life.

[alliynl]

i hate when someone is like just kinda mean to me i wish they would beat me up instead

[alliynl]

Yes.

"I hold onto every single memory, because I know we won't be making anymore."

[alliynl]

I find myself thinking of you all the time, saying “I love you, k” quietly to myself, more times than I can count. Every time I hear your name, it’s like music, and it pulls at my heart in ways I can’t describe. The way we used to talk, the way you made me feel understood, made everything seem a little brighter. But even with the sun up, I can’t find rest without you. I’m scared to close my eyes, afraid I’ll miss something, afraid I’ll miss you. It’s hard to explain how just a few seconds without hearing from you feels like months, and it’s too much.

I loved the way you cared for the people around you, the way you’d stop everything just to make time for us. I still replay the moment when I realized you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You were the blessing I prayed for, the one I never thought I deserved. Now, without you, every second feels heavy, and even though time passes, the emptiness stays.

[alliynl]

On some days I just need you more than on others. But for you it doesn’t seem to make a difference.

[alliynl]

Silent regrets

I’m always feeling a little blue,

But I won’t pretend it’s all on you.

When you ended it, my nights were a mess

So maybe you should worry, Cause I chose to sleep less.

I miss you still, I’m struggling to get through,

I hate to think I wasn’t right for you.

There were times I should’ve treated you right,

Yet I kept those thoughts hidden, out of sight.

I buried my love, too afraid to leap,

In letters I wrote but chose to keep.

Now I wonder, was it all in vain?

These silent confessions, this self-made pain?

Though I may never find the words to say,

I know I let yesterday slip away.

[alliynl]

“Sometimes its better to be friends so you can keep them forever than be lovers”

[alliynl]

K,

I miss you—every part of you, all the little things. I know I messed up, and I hate that I hurt you. I know that trust isn’t easy to rebuild, but I wanted to make things right between us.

I tried reaching out, tried saying everything I could, but it felt like my words never got through to you. Maybe your pride was too high, or maybe I just wasn’t what you needed anymore. But all I wanted was to be better for you, even if it meant losing a part of myself along the way.

I held on so hard because I didn’t want to lose you, but maybe I lost myself instead. Even now, I still find myself falling for all those little things about you—how you fix your hair, that familiar scent, your easy smile. It’s like you know exactly how to make me fall for you all over again.

I’ve tried to move on, but it’s been hard. I still find myself looking for you around school, checking to see if you’re in the quadrangle playing badminton. Sometimes I even check your social media, just to feel like I know how you’re doing. I still have your number saved, and I wonder what it’d be like to call, just to hear your voice.

I hope you’re okay, that life is treating you well. I still love you, K maybe I will until I can’t anymore.