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Came here from a fic, that linked this as inspiration! It's beautifully ironic, the runaway noble somehow ending up with a kingdom, lol

Fic thought:

Jaskier gets tired of how Witchers are treated, he's spent decades with Geralt, watching him be spit on and payment shorted, despite his best effort his songs have done little to change public opinion, and other Witchers have it much worse.

It's after the Mountain, when he and Geralt part ways, not for long, it's never for long, no matter how mean Geralt can be in a moment, the Witcher always finds him again, a gift as a peace offering and apology both, that Jaskier stumbles upon an execution, a Witcher accused of leaving a monster unhunted, but Jaskier knows that no Witcher would do such, he knows that.

That moment changes everything, changes the very course of Destiny, because there is no way that Jaskier can stand idle and watch a Witcher be killed for no reason.

And so Jaskier saves the Witcher, a Letho of the Viper school, who in turns swears his life to Jaskier's protection despite, or perhaps because of, the Bard's protests.

Jaskier returns home for the season, trying to figure out what to do with the Witcher he now has in his service, and he hears of a Cat Witcher that's been enslaved by a King and it's then that Jaskier makes a choice and a plan.

It's easy enough, Letho has toppled kingdoms before, he's a Kingslayer after all, only it's not Letho's sword that takes the King's life, it's Jaskier's.

Jaskier takes over the Kingdom and Court quickly, roots out treason and lies thanks to the Cat he frees, who also pledges his service, he has no where else to go, his past removed before the King bought him, he remembers only what he is, a Witcher, and Letho who can hear lies.

Eventually the rest of the Cats and Vipers find their way to Jaskier's growing Kingdom, as do Elves and like creatures when they hear that Jaskier's Kingdom is a refuge for the odd and mistreated.

Jaskier's not entirely sure just how it happened but by the time Geralt comes to apologize, Jaskier has been a King and been running a Kingdom for at least a year and has an Army that is at least half Witcher, he's been getting marriage offers from people that turned his family down when he decided to go to Oxenfurt to learn music.

Yennifer offered to be his Court Sorcerer, for Melittle's sake.

Jaskier just wanted his Witcher and his people safe, he didn't intend for this to happen.

-

Because accidental Warlord!Jaskier would be hillarious.

No one lets Geralt live down the fact that his Bard conqured a Kingdom so he'd be safe and treated better, also they definately call him Queen Geralt, or at least Lambert does.

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They’re boyfriends 🥰

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supernatural is so funny. sometimes they'll look for God and say things like "try new mexico, I hear he's on a tortilla" "no, he's not on any flatbread" and then you get bangers like "freedom is a length of rope and God wants you to hang yourself with it".

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when you're watching supernatural in the dark and the angels get smitey

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I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

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Sitting, crying over a toilet your dormitory's restroom with food poisoning ([literal] fruit of my dumbassness), with a teacher trying to be helpful (she was very sweet) while also being anything but reassuring, gives a person a new kind of loneliness. Especially as it's late af and your parents are probably either asleep or working, and your sibling is not answering their fucking texts, ffs. While the only thing you really want is someone who had already experienced it saying it's going to be fine after it's over.

Thankfully. (Thank Fuck) My dad was still up at the ass o'clock of 11 (even tho he was just planning on going to bed, my timing is impeccable), and as I inherited my dumbassness from him, he was able to calm me down from my (quite pathetic) crying.

The next morning sucked ass, waking up every two hours also sucked, and having a bucket by me was quite literally a life saver. But by noon I could eat yogurt, and by afternoon I was able to eat a sandwich in two halves. Probably not the best decisions, but I did wait out eating 8 hours after the last emptying of my poor stomach. (Even tho everything I've read said to wait till the second day before eating more solid food ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) And it didn't come back up, so I'll consider it a success.

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i need a fic of merlin pranking arthur and the knights by mentally speaking to them with his magic, making them think that they're crazy, and getting them to do a bunch of ridiculous stuff to get rid of the ominous voice of "the great emrys".

oh, the chaos.

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i need a fic of merlin pranking arthur and the knights by mentally speaking to them with his magic, making them think that they're crazy, and getting them to do a bunch of ridiculous stuff to get rid of the ominous voice of "the great emrys".

oh, the chaos.

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18th century embroidery.

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Dear professor this assignment did not nourish my fundamentally curious soul so i did not do it No penalty full 100 points please Goodbye!

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Even if I didn’t have a solid plan, in the back of my head, I always assumed I’d kill myself.

Now I’m an adult and people my age have their lives in order and I’m stuck here, confused, because I never planned to be alive and I’m so far behind.

I feel like I’ll never catch up.

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talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

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When I was but a wee baby high schooler I made this on my school issued chromebook and posted it to my og tumblr blog and I just knew in my heart it would do numbers but alas it got 1 note. (me on my other blog)

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absolutely losing my fucking mind over this

pinterest blesses me with unhinged realizations every day

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One time I was explaining to my dad how unfair it is that every big city has at least a couple gay bars but there are only like 20ish lesbian bars left in the country and he responded with "That's cause gay men have a good party culture. Lesbians don't have time to party, they're too busy debating the sociological implications of things and studying for postgrad degrees" and as much as I wanted to tell him he was out of line for that, as a lesbian who spends all her free time on Tumblr debating sociological implications and messaging other lesbians in discord servers where everyone has a PhD or masters for some reason I felt like I might not be the best person to make that argument

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“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

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my favorite scene in LotR as a kid was when Sam started miserably freestyling in the tower of Cirith Ungol and the only reason he ever found Frodo was because he deliriously tried to join in