allofmysin-blog

[allofmysin-blog]

book one harry: *loses 2 house points* oh my god they’re all going to hate me this is the biggest atrocity i have ever committed in my academic career, i have forever tarnished the reputation of gryffindor house

book six harry: *loses 70 points for gryffindor* * almost gets expelled* ask me if i give a motherfuck??

[allofmysin-blog]

Voldemort: Now that I know I can enter Harry Potter's mind I will implant a false memory and trick him into getting me the prophecy.

Bellatrix: Master. . . Why can you go into his mind?

Voldemort:

Voldemort:

Voldemort: Fucked if I know. It's probably not important.

[allofmysin-blog]

“average person hides 3 gnomes in percy weasley’s sock drawer a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person hides 0 gnomes per yer per year. georg weasley, who lives in the burrow & hides over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[allofmysin-blog]

me: man i love this villain

someone on the internet: awww noo poor small precious baby is not really bad, they didn’t do anything wrong, they’re just misunderstood :((((

me: you come into my house, you insult my trash evil child,

[allofmysin-blog]

Harry Potter + random subtitles (x)

[allofmysin-blog]

So, I’m listening to the confrontation between Tom Riddle and Harry in the chamber of secrets

and probably what’s striking me the most is the way Tom assumes, implicitly, that everyone who meets him will find him charming and impressive

He talks about becoming Ginny’s best friend, her confidante, the holder of PARTS OF HER SOUL, as if it was a bit of a hassle, but ultimately quite easy. He talks about persuading Professor Dippet that Hagrid was guilty, and describes the effect of his own self-presentation as if it was obvious that one of the most powerful people in the wizarding world should do whatever a 16 year old asked: “Tom Riddle, poor but brilliant, parentless but so brave…”

And he makes one remark about someone his narrative didn’t work on: “I don’t think Dumbledore liked me as much as the other teachers did.” He’s so confident in the effect of his own narrative, his shiny charm, that he’s genuinely surprised and a bit confused at not everybody buying it. 

And, like, the thing is: we see Voldemort when he’s not doing so well, for most of the series. We see him, largely in moments of crisis: autocratic, cruel, utterly without loyalty to anyone but himself. And inside, he’s definitely all those things. But he’s also so charismatic - so good at faking empathy, too - that all sorts of people end up giving him their souls, literally or otherwise. Think about the range of people attracted by Tom Riddle, whether as a schoolboy or a Dark Lord: Slughorn, Ginny Weasley, Lucius Malfoy, Peter Pettigrew, Bellatrix Lestrange, etc. Those are some hugely different people with genuinely conflicting interests! and yet he plays them all, he acquires all of their trust and admiration, and then when he’s done with them they die, but the others keep following him because that’s how good Tom Riddle is at making people love him

It’s incredibly difficult to perform to so many different audiences, simultaneously, and almost never fail. I think Tom Riddle is so good at using people because he uses himself. He doesn’t exist outside the narratives he performs. He feeds on the reactions of others. No one sees through him because there’s nothing to see. He says it himself: “Voldemort [an absurdly dramatic pseudonym, lets be real] is my past, present and future, Harry Potter”

Tom Riddle: consummate identity manipulator, holy shit

[allofmysin-blog]

drar.ry is for those who like rivalries and quick and witty banter and teasing lil’ smiles and secret meet-ups

toma.rry is for those who like Pain and Suffering™

,,and also really elaborate and mind-boggling connections, compatibilities, questioning morals, QUESTIONABLE morals, really hot sex, philosophy about life and death and what’s right and wrong, and science and crime and all these other stuff……….. but at the end, yeah, it’s p much Pain and Suffering™

[allofmysin-blog]

So one of the newspaper clippings from the Fantastic Beasts movie is about James Potter’s dad and why are we not running with this already?

Lily: Wait, so Fleamont Potter, the internationally renowned cosmetic potioneer, is your father?

James: *proudly* The very same.

Lily:  Wow.  You’d think you’d be better at Potions.

Sirius: You’d think he’d have better hair.

[allofmysin-blog]

humans are so cute, when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. we suck the cum out of peoples dicks like a gogurt. we say hello by holding each other’s hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. for pleasure we listen to arrangements of sounds, press our lips together, smoke dried leaves, get drunk off of old fruit. we’re all just little animals, falling in love and having breakfast beneath billions of stars

[allofmysin-blog]

i fully believe that lee jordan casts most of his spells by doing the cha cha slide

[allofmysin-blog]

tomarry is a beautiful and enchanting parasite that destroys u from the inside and then out

[allofmysin-blog]

do people actually read books while in the bathtub

how do you not get everything wet

[allofmysin-blog]

It's my birthday! What would, hypothetically, Harry and Tom do together for Harry's birthday if they were free to do their own thing?

Happy birthday!!!!

I’ll give this a 2 part answer, since I’m not entirely sure which you meant.

1. If Harry and Tom (aka Lord Voldemort, the phoenix-born who underwent  a substantial amount of character development from the ‘Hauntingly’ AU) lived in a world where somehow, they had a happy ending and were eventually celebrating Harry’s 18th:

LV would take Harry flying, probably somewhere in the deep forests of Canada, probably with thestrals. It would be stupidly romantic and LV would tell Harry the story about how he once flew in a tornado and saved a small blackbird, nearly being ripped apart himself. Harry would, in return, tell the story about how he lost his only quidditch match to hufflepuff because of the dementors, which only affected him so badly because of Voldemort in the first place, and the story would then deteriorate into something angsty and painful…only to be somehow resolved by the uninvited affections of the thestrals, because in my just-now-decided mind thestrals live very long lives and they remember Tom Riddle from decades ago, having taught him how to fly in the first place, and so they decide that he and his crying mate (I hate that word in nearly all circumstances for people but I believe this is how most thestrals would see things here) need lots of affection. Somehow it would resolve itself. Don’t ask me how, I haven’t written it, but if I did it would, so there you go,

2. In the canon world:

Harry would have a birthday, and Tom Riddle/Voldemort would try and kill him. The latter would fail because the former had something miraculous and inexplicable happen to him. It would happen again next year. And the next. Forever. 

[allofmysin-blog]

get to know me ☆ [1/10] reflections of myself.           ↳ harry potter . “There’s no need to call me ‘Sir’, Professor.” 

[allofmysin-blog]

Imagine twelve year old Harry not even knowing how awful his childhood with Dursleys had been until he gets to the Burrow.

Imagine him seeing Percy asleep with a book on his lap, and being baffled that a kid might feel comfortable enough in his own home to be so vulnerable in the living room. 

Imagine Molly coming up to the attic to say goodnight to Ron and Harry, and Harry glancing at Ron when he hears her footsteps, trying to figure out what they had done wrong that day.

Imagine him asking George who does all the house chores, and thinking it’s a joke when George answers, “we all do.” 

Imagine Ginny pestering Arthur with questions over the Daily Prophet, and Harry trying to shoot her warning looks to stop it! but then Mr. Weasley looks up and patiently answers every single one. 

Imagine Bill popping in for a visit one evening and Harry being floored when Bill stops to chat with him. 

Imagine Fred chasing after Harry in the yard, playfighting, but Harry actually begins to run for real fear of being hurt. 

Imagine Molly burning something on the stove my accident and tossing it, imagine Harry mentioning to Ron, offhandedly, “she could’ve given that one to me, it’s what I eat at home when I mess up dinner” and not knowing why Ron is horrified.

Imagine Harry seeing what a normal, functioning family looks like, and realizing the absence of love in his own life. 

[allofmysin-blog]

harry: if i had a sickle for every time voldemort fired a killing curse at me and i didn't die

harry: i'd have two sickles

harry: which isn't that much, but it's weird that it happened twice

[allofmysin-blog]

scorpius malfoy comes to school riding a dragon because draco told him to one-up any potter kid he saw