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You know what would be funny? A fic in which Colin says the “I’d never court Penelope Featherington” thing and suddenly Penelope is full of suitors because, before that, everyone thought that she and Colin were already engaged and something.

Simon and Kate seeing other people flirt with Penelope…

Simon: OMG the lack of respect…

Kate: everyone knows she’s taken already!!!

Anthony:… excuse me??

Daphne: She is engaged? Oh, I’m so happy for her.

Kate:… isn’t she Colin’s bride

Simon: isn’t she Colin’s WIFE???

Daphne and Anthony: WHAT?? They’re not married

Simon: for christs sake!!! why they go everywhere unchaperoned then?

Kate: I’ll have no other choice but fix this

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Colin walking in there like “the fuck you just say to her?!”

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You gotta hand it to Portia though.. her conclusion that Pen is missing for an hour every ball they attend was that her social battery ran out. Which is a very valid reason, and she never questioned it before because she understood that its a thing.

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every breath feels like rarest air

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Hello, REVEREND Ransome.

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im going to bed for a week

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I’m still wondering what they would do if you put on a  full “I’m almost dying from the flu” persona, and then before you open (read as pretending to open) you tell them about your trip to China :)

Say what you will about south Africans, but our criminals are damn resourceful. They'll take any damn opportunity🤣🤣🤣🤣

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An Ongoing Daily List of Good Shit Because I'm Tired of All The Corona Talk:

Australia is no longer on fire

U-Haul is offering free 30 day storage for displaced college students and discounted rates on moving services

The second person in the world was just cured of HIV!

There's going to be a new Dr. Seuss book this fall, published from a manuscript he wrote that was discovered 21 years after his death

Student loan payments are being halted with no interest until the pandemic clears

A zoo in Indiana recently announced the birth of two Chacoan Peccaries, an animal that is currently endangered (and also adorable)

On that train, two cheetah cubs were recently born in an Ohio zoo via vitro fertilization, which could seriously boost efforts to help endangered species survive

One more about animals - a komodo dragon in a Tennessee zoo just gave birth without male involvement! Which isn't something new, but it is rare and cool.

The state of Virginia has banned conversion therapy for minors recently, and is the first Southern state to do so

Scotland has created the worlds first Carbon Positive Gin made from peas instead of wheat, which reduces the carbon footprint created by normal gin making. Without wheat....it might also be a gluten free alternative (not certain on that one, you'd have to reach out to the creators). You can buy it here

The worlds first 3D printed houses were just created in Mexico, with the hopes to combat homelessness. They are designed to withstand seismic activity and come with two bedrooms, a living room, kitchen, and bathroom.

Disneyland is donating all acceptable food to food banks in Orange County during their closure

The Olympic Games are hoping to become "climate positive" by the year 2030, and by next year they plan to start planting an "Olympic Forest" in Africa in an effort to combat desertification

Hopefully I can add more day to day, but even the small stuff makes you smile sometimes. Yesterday at my coffee shop, a woman tipped me five dollars because, and I quote, "Just because there's a virus doesn't mean I can't tip you for my coffee."

The small shit matters as much as the big shit. Good luck, try to look at the good and also try and DO some good, and wash your hands.

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When this is over, may we never again take for granted the simple things in life. Coffee with friends. A Friday night at a concert. A handshake with a stranger. Time spent with your grandparents. Hugging those you love most. Conversations with your neighbors. The morning commute. Going to school every week. Full shelves at the store. A typical Tuesday night. Life itself. These times can be challenging, but may we allow ourselves to slow down and reflect on what matters most. Once the dust settles and the light shines brighter, may we find that we have become the people we have wanted to be, who we always hoped we would be, and may we all be better for each other having gone through the unimaginable. In this crisis, hold on to love, hope, and empathy. That is my wish - that we are left with and experiencing more love and humanity during and after all this.

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For all the stupid stuff I’ve seen and heard about the virus

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People panic buying stuff and essentially hoarding it means that those of ius on low incomes and very finite weekly budgets are now having to go without basic foodstuff and hygiene items. But sure Karen, you really needed 48 loo rolls, 15 packs of painkillers, enough baked beans to sink the titanic and a haul of pasta that will last a family if 4 an entire year. Stop being such selfish assholes. Some of us are poor and we're having to go without food because you're a fucking idiot.

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Can we like, not support circuses like that anymore?

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Down, not out