allonsymiddleearth

[allonsymiddleearth]

Spin this wheel first and then this wheel second to generate the title of a YA fantasy novel!

(If the second wheel lands on an option ending with a plus sign, spin it again)

Share what you got!

[allonsymiddleearth]

They should invent a not being exhausted

[allonsymiddleearth]

I'm wishing a very Happy Pride Month to all the queer people who:

are disabled

are chronically ill

can't celebrate for health reasons

disability gets in the way of their gender representation

disability got in the way of a relationship

don't have anyone to celebrate with

have homophobic caretakers

Happy Pride Month to all disabled queer people

[allonsymiddleearth]

Having a pointless argument about which of us is an outlier here.

[allonsymiddleearth]

Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

[allonsymiddleearth]

i strongly believe that it's better to take aspirin of a known dosage than to take some willow bark with an unknown amount of active compound that could also just be sawdust from an unrelated tree. like that's just factually correct. medical science is real and the supplement industry is an unregulated nightmare of mostly scams. but. the thing is. if, in order to get aspirin, i had to schedule an appointment where i tell my doctor that my friend said i might have a headache (because i can't just say i have a headache without being treated like a googlemad hypochondriac). and then the doctor nodded and ordered a bunch of expensive tests that have very little to do with my head and a lot to do with the size of my ass. and the tests all came back fine so he shrugged and asked if my head hurt and when i said yes he prescribed me some aspirin while emphasizing he didn't know if it would help but i could give it a shot if i really wanted. and if i had to do that every time i wanted some aspirin. i would probably start eyeballing the willow bark. to be perfectly honest with you.

[allonsymiddleearth]

2015? that wasnt even that long ago. it was only... [doing the math] ohhh. ohhh..... oh dear...

[allonsymiddleearth]

if you are going to need some kind of sedative for 4th of july fireworks for your pets NOW IS THE TIME TO SCHEDULE THOSE APPOINTMENTS TO ASK FOR THEM

NOT WHEN ITS 2 DAYS AWAY

[allonsymiddleearth]

WHY are all my friends SCATTERED ACROSS THE WORLD and not IN MY HOUSE for a SLEEPOVER

[allonsymiddleearth]

unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.

[allonsymiddleearth]

i think too many people operate under the assumption that emotions are some frivilous fantasy of the mind and have no impact on the physical world, which is a cute thought when Humans are an animal that can die from being kinda stressed out

[allonsymiddleearth]

the secret to organising any kind of trip with your friends is to become the benevolent dictator. do NOT wait for everyone to provide a consensus on things before you book anything. do it and then ask for feedback after. do not ask people what they would like to do just tell them what is happening and let them all nod along like the sheep they are. this is the ONLY way to coordinate a group of adults in their 20s/30s

[allonsymiddleearth]

What was the point in animal planet airing those incredibly convincing fake documentaries about dragons and mermaids

[allonsymiddleearth]

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

[allonsymiddleearth]

Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists

[allonsymiddleearth]

rejecting my job application and then asking me to fill out a survey on your recruitment process in the rejection email... People used to be hanged drawn & quartered for less