allthingslea

[allthingslea]

just posting this here because I have to delete it from my Teams chat.

The first one was sent by Lea when I walked away from my laptop when we were in Brentwood Mall.

The second one was sent when we were driving from her school to Tsawwassen and she was "working" for me.

[allthingslea]

Welcome!

Hello Lea Joy, it seems you have found the inner voices of my mind, our stories from my perspective. Welcome!

I was meaning to give this site to you when I propose or when we get married, but I think now is the best time.

If we are going through a rough patch, please refer to this site to reinforce and assure you how much I love and think about you. I want us to be more than just memories. I want this site to keep growing and growing, be filled with adventures and love stories.

I started this site because right from the beginning, I felt something different about you that was worth writing down. I felt it right away, so I wanted to document it, just like a diary. And if we do work out, then this would grow to something wonderful. The further down you go, the further the memories go back- all the way to the beginning.

Love, in this site you will read what is on my mind. It is my safe space where I can offload my thoughts. My true feelings. This is my ultimate secret, and now you are a part of it.

I love you, and only you, Lea Joy. I am only yours.

PS, enjoy your stay, and please let me know what you think of the site :)

[allthingslea]

And It Fit

10/26

So yes, as per the previous entry, yesterday was Lea's first day at work. She was supposed to be off at 6PM and I would pick her up, but her boss said she could take off at around 3:30. She tossed a coin- heads, she would go home. Tails, she would come to Metrotown to see me.

Tails. She rode the bus and headed to Metrotown. I was able to leave early so I drove to Metrotown and waited at the skytrain station. As she arrived, I saw her coming down the elevator, and she looked beautiful.

We stayed at the mall for a bit but headed out eventually, driving towards Tsawwassen. We both didn't want to go home yet so we "hung out" at the backseat of my car at Tsawwassen Mills parking lot. There's no subtle way to say this, but we had sex and I came inside of her. I think this was the most intense one I've had so far. She came first before I did. For the record, I have came inside of her 4 times now, and she has swallowed 15 times.

We talked and cuddled for a bit, then decided to head home to the Ferrer's. Turns out, it was Jeremy's birthday, so I stayed for a bit for some hot pot.

Coincidentally, her "surprise" package has arrived. When she saw it, her eyes lit up and she clung onto it like a koala holding onto a tree branch. She went to her room to check it out while I stayed outside. I waited antsily while she checked it out, until finally she came out with a worried smile. "Hindi ko alam kung kasya, tingin ko malaki." We were going back and forth about how we should just try it out. After a few minutes, upstairs while waiting for Yanna to come out of her room, she brought out the box and, in a half joking, half serious manner, said, "will you marry me?" I said, "yes". I turned around from her, my back facing hers, and my right hand behind my back. She slid the ring into my ring finger and... it fit.

She said that if it didn't fit, she would have resized it first, but since it did, it was appropriate for me to receive it, specially with the situation that we are in. I asked what the meaning of the ring was, and she said that she would text it to me later. It took a good minute for me to bring out my right hand from behind my back to my front, and when I saw the ring, I fell in love.

Since we were still at the house, we both didn't think it was a good idea to wear the ring, so I put it back in the box and placed it in my jacket. In return for the ring, I promised her something... intangible. What is it, well, this. The link to this site. The inner writings of my mind. Our memories, from my point of view.

The night went on until 9:30 came and I had to go home.

She walked me to my car, and I took out the ring and wore it. We talked for another 20 minutes.

We were on the phone from the moment I was driving home until I went to bed at 11:30. The vibes were good. Kind of.

Around 3:30AM, I woke up randomly, looked at my phone, and saw that I had 25 notifications from Lea. She found it hard to sleep, and she told me how she felt about me going on this trip. She was uncomfortable, anxious, sad, but she is trying. She mentioned that she loves me and trust me, and the ring symbolizes that too.

Hi Lea Joy, if you are reading this, I just want to say... great job! You're doing great, love. Thank you for recognizing your patterns and trying hard to understand them and work through it. Most of all, you mentioned that you find it hard to express your feelings... but those texts are... expressing those feelings. I'm so proud that you have come a long way from pushing away to trying not to push away. Love, from the time I have known you, you have grown so much, and you should be proud of that. I love you!

When I saw the messages, I told myself that I would just reply again when I wake up in the morning, but I couldn't go back to sleep so I replied. After replying, I fell asleep again.

In the morning when I woke up again, I checked my phone and she has read and replied to my messages. I said my good morning, and she replied instantly. We both wanted to call each other, but we were afraid of getting teased by Ate Bing (she slept over). The vibes were right. As she was walking to the bus stop around 8:10AM, I called her, and she sounded happy. About halfway through the call, the trip got brought up again and.. the vibes went off. She got to school, we hung up the phone. We were trying, but it was still off.

One of her classmates has been absent for a while, but finally went to school due to a group presentation. They caught up, and turns out, this classmate has been dealing with personal issues. Lea had a heart-to-heart talk and she mentioned that she has been crying hard. She also said that she wasn't okay, and that she might need an alone time until class ends.

At this time of writing, she has been in class for two hours now, and she isn't as bubbly as she usually is, but she has been sending me updates now and then. Also, looks like the room we were going to put a deposit on cancelled last minute. I can't tell how the vibes are right now, but I'm trying my best. We will meet in another two hours, and hopefully we bring the vibes back up.

This whole trip is causing issues in our relationship that I didn't expect to come up. That is okay though, because I know that we will come out stronger than before, from this experience. I have faith in what we have. I know that she loves me, and she knows that I love her.

My mistake is that I booked and made plans with Sam right away without consulting Lea Joy. I just wanted to watch BLACKPINK, that's all. And Sam was the only friend that would be willing to spend money to go. Moving forward, she is right, when making decisions like these, we should place ourselves in the other person's shoes and look at things from a different perspective. I don't want something like this to happen again, it is so heavy in the heart.

I don't want complications and disagreements. I don't want to lose this relationship. I love Lea Joy, and Lea Joy is the one for me. I am wearing her ring and will not remove nor lose it. How can I show her that I am loyal to her only? How can I make her trust me? I am trying my best. I really am.

[allthingslea]

Pre-Trip Anxieties

10/25

Hey all. Hmm, so on October 29th, I will be flying to Houston to watch the BLACKPINK concert with Sam, an old friend. I will be coming back on November 2nd. That being said, I can tell that Lea is getting worried and uneasy.

Last night, we were on the phone planning what the next few days will look like before my trip, and while I'm away. I noticed that she filled her schedule with her move to Surrey, as well as watching The Pearl Fishers play, along with a Gastown tour event, all on October 30th, the night of the concert. I told her that I was getting worried because she may be a little too busy, and asked if she would get worried for me too.

She said that she needed to pee, so she went to the washroom. Moments later, I hear her crying, and felt bad. She says that her "avoidant-attachment" self is coming back, and her way of escaping her worries and fears is by keeping herself busy and detaching from the world. She recognized that and broke down. I tried to comfort her, but there's only so much I can do while being in 40kms away and on the phone. We switched topics to brighten up the mood, it looked like it helped, but it was still uneasy.

11:30PM came and we decided to end the call and go to bed. I fell asleep, meanwhile, Lea was awake until 2:30, trying to fall asleep, trying to feel better. I woke up around 2:50AM and saw that I had 25 notifications from Lea. She sent me links to Taylor Swift songs that she was listening to, as well as a video she watched for a bit. She also sent me screenshots of her conversations with Bhupinder and Madhu, asking them for help when she moves in on the 30th. Also in those notifications, there were some text messages that were serious as well.

She texted, "Love, also disclaimer, if my mood seems off (perhaps a bit sad) please please know that I don't know the exact reason why. It's a myriad of factors. Worry, sad, anxious, excited, happy even, etc. Weird lang. hahaha BUT please remember that I love you so much and I won't break up with you (unless basta alam mo naman reason). Duh, nagpacustomize pa nga ako ng ring para sayo noh! Let's just enjoy :) uhm... yeah. I love you."

In another text bubble, she said, "love, I don't think we ever talked about this. But what is cheating for us? I want to know my boundaries too."

It was apparent that she had a lot on her mind- hence her finding it hard to fall asleep.

How can I assure her that I love her and only her?

It should be said as well that today, Oct 25th is her first day as a Talent Acquisition Specialist at Scrubbi. She barely had any sleep, yet at the time of writing (9AM), she's powering through. Tomorrow, we will be putting the deposit down for the room that she will be staying at in Surrey. I hope that moving forward, we will get to spend more days, nights, and everything in between, together.

Lea Joy, if you are reading this, I want you to know that I think about you a lot. It is you that I love. I am not someone who finds joy in women- I find joy in companionship. And yours is more than enough. I want to be with you- I want to stay with you for the rest of my life, of course if that is what you want too.

I am yours and yours only.

[allthingslea]

Lea's Birthday Weekend

Many things happened this past week! It's a lot to write down, and frankly, read, so I'll just summarize in bullet points. Here we go!

Oct12

-she went to school, I went to work, got off at 12PM

-went to guildford mall to prepare, bought last minute gifts and she asked me to buy skincare stuff

-bought a card, went to car and wrote on my notes

-drove to Safeway to buy flowers and a balloon, she calls, fire drill, I panic

-placed all goodies in trunk

-picked her and donna up at gas station

-dropped off Donna at Surrey Central

-parked at Surrey Central a few seconds later

-wrote on the letter while she was watching

-after writing, handed her the letter, she read it, asked her to step out and open trunk

-balloon goes up, she sees the flowers, and she tears up

-hugs me and keeps saying thanks. she only bought flowers for herself and it feels nice to receive them

-i take pictures

-we drive to bridgeport to go to downtown for flyover

-we park, i give her my 2nd batch of gifts

-we transit to flyover

-flyover

-transit back to my car and hung out for a very short bit at Tsawwassen

-boom boom pow birthday, tempted to finish, but didn't

-went to her house, celebrated her birthday

-drove home

Oct 14

-she went to my house, did school and I did work.

-just cuddled a lot, tried to have sex but it was hard

-finished twice consecutively- first one was in her mouth and second one was on her stomach

-ate at Bayong Kitchen

-drove back home watched Ghost Files and went home

Oct 15

-went to Tsawwassen at 10, walked around to Tim Hortons/Shoppers and back

-sat down at park to rest

-walked back, waited for Yanna to get ready

-went to mall, H&M, Yanna saw us kissing but we played it off

-walked around, as we were eating sushi, Lea got quiet. She felt off. I asked if she was okay, she said no, but she doesn't know why. For the first time, she was quiet around me and Yanna.

-for the rest of the mall adventure, she was quiet and I tried my best to comfort her. Her brother's wife was going through labour at that time

-everyone was tired, went back to the house

-as we arrived, we put on a movie, and she went back to being silly. maybe she was just tired

-time came, we left, picked up Ella and Angus and drove to PNE Fright Nights. She held my hand in front of them.

-as we arrived and got inside, we split up

-went to all the houses except one. she never let go of me.

-Doll house was best house. The actress asked us to split, but she didn't want to. We went together.

-Throughout the night, stole kisses and hugs just in case spies were watching

-9:30 arrived, we were tired, we just sat down and waited for Yanna and her friends to eat. Ended up leaving at 11PM.

-Drove home, dropped off the kids, hung out at living room and talked

-slept over (Lea slept at the couch too)

Oct 16

-woke up at the same time as Lea, I showered first, then her

-had breakfast- red hotdog and rice!

-drove to my house and waited for my family to get ready

-went to church

-during church, Lea kept looking at me and I kept nudging her. Neiah would see this and give us a strange look

-after church, we went to iHop

-lunch was great, the family was vibing, always laughing and smiling

-there was an instance when I told the story about Lea missing her train stop because she was zoned out- Mom burst out laughing

-whenever Lea would make an enthusiastic look, Mom would look at me cutely

-after lunch, we headed back home to kill some time, then went to Josephine's house- looking to rent

-Josephine's place was great- it met all of Lea's needs- close to bus stop, privacy, and allowed guests

-the cost was $750 but we both agreed that I would pay $350 as long as I come over a lot (I gladly accepted this)

-we told Josephine that we will let her know soon if she decides to take it because she still has another place to look at (Mr. Mario's)

-after looking at the place, we went to Tsawwassen Mills parking lot again to fool around for a bit- finished in her mouth for the 14th time

-4PM, we went back to the house to celebrate her birthday, along with Jay, Kuya Sonny, and others

-ate food, met Ate Bing- she was supposed to interrogate me but I suppose she got shy

-one time I heard the titas in the round dining table, and they said "pogi nya no?" hehehe and Ate Bing asked me if I had any siblings- male specifically

-drove home with Lance to drop him home- during drive, I told him about Lea and my relationship, we both ranted to each other about the toxic traits of Filipinos

-as I dropped Lance off, I called Lea and we talked all night until bed time

What an eventful weekend. There's only more to come, now that things are starting to fall into place. At the time of posting (10/19), Lea will visit Mr. Mario's place to check if it's a livable space, but if not, Lea will call Josephine today to let her know that she is interested. She mentioned that she is happy with Josephine's place, and that she wants me to come around often. Chances are, if she moves there, then I would have the opportunity to see her every day and who knows, maybe sleep over- move in with her. At the same time, she sent the email to accept the job offer as a Talent Acquisition Specialist at Scrubbi- we are still waiting for the confirmation. This is important because the job role fits the NOC-B requirements for PR. I mean, if all else fails, I would gladly marry this person. She slid and told me that she bought a promise ring for me. Now it's only a question of who will propose first.

Today, we will meet up again after work and after her school. She will inform me of how Mr. Mario's house tour went and hopefully we will get to decide by then and start the process. I'm excited for what's ahead.

PS, two nights ago, she was on videocall with her mom, and her mom noticed her promise ring. She asked about it, but Lea deflected saying that she bought it. Her mom asked, "tunay yan?" and she said yes. Her mom was doubtful that Lea bought it, but she didn't seem to mind because she didn't ask more about it.

Things are coming together. Our hearts are getting closer. Eventually.

[allthingslea]

Thanksgiving Day, 3rd Month

October 10th, Thanksgiving Day. Also our 3rd month of being together. To be honest, there was a posibility that we weren't gonna meet up because Edmar got sick with covid. However here we are, and a lot of things happened. The whole day was a blast. Literally.

It started by picking her up from Tsawwassen at 9AM. We had breakfast at Tims. What's hilarious is that we both thought of getting bagels this time. I guess we were both tired of farmers wraps. Anyways, yes, as usual, we talked, and I was excited for the day.

After having breakfast, we drove to Bridgeport Park n Fly, and took the Canada Line to downtown. When we arrived, it was a little chilly so Lea wanted to by a hoodie. However, all the stores were still closed so we sat down at the food court of Pacific Center to pass time. We talked, and we ended up reflecting about how the past month went. We both agreed that it was better than the first two months. We both realized how much we grew and how much we love each other, that we were both tearing up. I was going to save it until the end of the day, but I ended up giving her the necklace I have been holding on to for a while now.

When I was in the Philippines, I asked my cousin to purchase this Ben&Ben x Celeste necklace, inspired by my favourite Ben song, Araw Araw. I promised myself that I would give this necklace to the person I would love one day. Lo and behold, the beholder of the new neckalce, Lea Joy.

After spending about 45 minutes being silly when we were only going to pass time for 5 minutes, we started walking around and bought a hoodie at H&M. After, we walked to Waterfront, and around Canada Place. At the peak of it, I saw a seabus and asked her if she wanted to ride it. You know how impulsive we can be sometimes. So we did, we rode the seabus to North Vancouver.

During the ride, we had a deep and intimate conversation. I don't remember how it started, but she told me her 2nd biggest secret. Her dream. One of the reasons why she's in Canada. Love, if you end up reading this, I just want to say my many thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities. I appreciate you and I will try my very best to be here for you. Anyways, we arrived at Lonsdale Quay, sat down on a bench facing downtown, and continued talking. In front of us were padlocks with names and hards engraved, locked to a chain fence. We reminisced more about how we met, the coincidences, and chances. Since she has shared her secrets with me, I shared mine as well. Stories that no one has ever heard.

It got sunny and warm so we decided to walk around and talk, again more secrets and stories. She also shared a secret that only I know about.

We found our way back to the market, circled the food court, and decided to get some pizza. As we were eating, we reflected once again. We both had this feeling that since we both shared the things we hide, we feel a much stronger connection- a feeling that we can both tell each other anything and everything.

We also talked about how it's starting to get cold. She brought up the idea of moving away from Tsawwassen and living closer to school. I supported the idea and provided suggestions for the next steps. I suggested to start planting seeds/thoughts in her mom's mind that it's cold and the commute is far. The funny thing is, the next morning, her mom messages her out of nowhere and asks how it's like nowadays and fully support the idea of moving out.

Time flew by quick, there was still dinner at home so we decided to make our way back- seabus > canada line > back to my car. When we got to Tsawwassen, there was still some time so we deviced to hang out for a bit, in the backseat of my car.

Here's the thing, she's on birth control, and she's on her period. BUT things got heated. We actually had period sex.

Things got REALLY heated. I saw that she was getting close, and I told her that so was I. She told me that it was okay if I finish inside. I asked three times if she was sure, and each time, she said yes. So I did. We both finished at the same time, raw. Oh god, as I write this, I still remember the sensation.

I pulled out and saw it ooze out. Let's just say it was a bloody, sticky mess. We managed to get clean without dirtying my car though! After cleaning up and changing, we immediately went to the mall, straight to the washroom to clean up and for her to try to flush it out. After using the washroom, we talked a little bit. We were both sure we were fine, but for peace of mind and reassurance, we decided it would be best if she takes a contingency pill. We were chill and laughing about it though, instead of being tense and scared. But we both realized the reality of what we just did.

We walked to Shoppers in the mall, but they didn't have it. While we were there, we bought a sushi tray for dinner. We also went to Wal-Mart to check, but the pharmacy was closed already. We drove to another Shoppers, and we talked that if they have it or not, it's meant to be. She went in, turns out they had it, so she bought it.

We got back to the house, used to washroom to clean up some more. We settled down at the dining table and she drank the medicine. We ate Thanksgiving dinner, talked for a bit to reflect about what happened that night, and then I went home.

Luckily, there were no major side effects from the contingency pill. I'm about to see her later because at this time of posting, it's her birthday.

October 10th was a day to remember. My love for Lea Joy just keeps getting stronger, and our bond just keeps growing.

[allthingslea]

Drunk

October 8th

Oh Lea Joy. It just so happened that there was a Malasiqi gathering at their house, and Ate Malou didn't want me to come because there were people who know Lea's family there and we could be in big trouble. It was okay though because my family went to our own gathering, along with my father's colleagues.

Lea was drinking wine with Jay and Ate Bing (whom I have not met yet). Apparently, they finished at least a bottle, and Lea drank the most. Safe to say, she was drunk. She was so cute- she kept drunk texting me saying that she misses me and she loves me. Throughout the night, we were talking. She was slurring some of her words, and she kept floating. Her texts were also misspelled. What a cutie.

She mentioned that if I was there, she would be very clingy to me. Oh man now I wish I could see her drunk.

[allthingslea]

Bens

October 6th, I picked her up from her class just before 3PM, and dropped off Donna at her house. We headed toward downtown but decided to drop by Brentwood Mall for some Japadog and Soon coffee. We both had a lot of energy from the food! After eating, we went to a shoe store and bought her a pair of Converses that matched mine. After spending time at the mall, we drove to downtown, parked, and walked toward Enso, the venue of the place.

When we arrived, the VIP line was longer than general admission! Also whilst walking toward the line and even standing in it, Lea and I were getting a lot of stares. Even media crew for Ben&Ben had cameras on us a lot. Anyways. The time got closer, we got closer to the door, and I was pulled over by Rhea Santos to interview. I'll include the link below!

After the interview, we were asked for ID to enter the venue, but Lea did not have a physical copy of her ID, so the bouncer put us aside. I pretty much had to fight my way through just so we can enter the venue and watch. I even got help from our media friends, but they weren't able to do anything. Finally, the bouncer offered that if we pay $100, he would let us in. I was able to haggle it down to $50. I paid the dues, and we were finally able to go in. As we entered, I saw a section that I thought said "VIP" so we entered and sat down. The stage was literally in front of us. I then noticed that the bands of the others in the place were different from ours so we decided to leave. Turns out that section was for "VVIP" guests.

We found a cozy corner and decided to hunker down. She bought some drinks- a bottle of water and the flattest coke known to mankind. I still drank it though.

Donna and her crew arrived as the openers were playing their acts. Finally, the lights started to dim and intro music started to play. The Bens come out and the whole venue erupts with energy. This was Lea's show so one could visibly see the excitement in her eyes. The bands started to play and it was automatic- Lea and I both shared the same vibration when it came to singing and dancing. I wish I took videos of her during the concert.

It was a mission of ours to get waves or smiles from the band when they look at our direction. We were successful in getting the attention of Paolo, Miguel, and Toni. Must I say, Lea was inlove with Toni. She also had the goosies whenever Poch shredded the guitar. It was hilarious because for one song, "The Ones We Once Loved", we decided to officially break up, just so we can feel the song. We even stepped away from each other. However as soon as the song ended, we couldn't resist but be magnetized to each other and... well make ammends.

Throughout the show, she brought up the idea that the show will end late. She was originally going to sleep at Divine's, but she kept saying that she didn't want to bother her and stay up late since she had class early morning. She thought about staying over at Donna's but I introduced the idea of just staying over at my house. She thought about it.

As the show ended, we said our goodbyes to Donna and the crew. Then we realized that... well I guess she doesn't have a choice but to sleep over at my house.

Since there were a lot of VIP guests, we decided to stick around toward the end for the photo op. We met the Bens quickly. Afterward, we finally left the venue and started walking back to my car. The atmosphere was quiet and peaceful, but full of fun and exciting tension and energy. The drive home was quiet. It was obvious she was nervous of getting caught. I reassured her.

We arrived home. I went in first, like I usually did, put my bag down, changed clothes. And as I confirmed that the coast is clear, I turned off the security camera, let her in, and turned it back on. We got settled, changed clothes, brushed teeth, etc.

At last, time to rest. As soon as we layed in bed, I turned off the lights, and she clung on to me like a sloth hugs a tree. We started kissing.

Things got heated. It was dark and we both couldn't see a thing. I tried to stick it, but she kept pushing me back. She said that she was scared. I turned on the lamp, tried again, and this time it was succesful. It was our first time doing it in bed, and she finished quite quickly. I didn't finish, but we both cuddled and talked for a bit. We were both very comfortable.

It was getting late, we both had school and work early in the morning, so we decided to sleep. She was still like a log, and as usual, I found it hard to sleep. Needless to say, I barely had any. There were a lot of cute moments though. There was a time when we were both "butt to butt." One time, she said that her butt was sweaty so she moved away from mine, and wiped it down. Then a few moments later, I went back in. Besides some butt to butt action, we also had some "sole to sole" action. I found that even when asleep, as long as we are physically together, we had to be linked somehow.

Around 7AM the next day, we both woke up at the same time for some reason, and I noticed that I was hard as heck- hardest that I have ever been. She noticed this, and she said that it was so thick! She gave me head, she was almost gagging. I then stuck it in, and she said that there was some pain at first, but it felt really good. It was intense. I finished in her mouth the 12th time.

We lazied around some more and cuddled. There was a time when she was little spoon and I got hard again for some reason, so as a joke, I tried to stick it in from behind. To my surprise, it actually went in, so we did it, only briefly. She says that it felt different. Good different.

As we lazied around, we had some deep talks. We realized how much we both enjoyed each other's company- and that we enjoy being together more than being apart. I asked if she liked doing what we just did, and if she wanted to keep doing it if the opportunity comes up, and she said yes. I told her that I can easily see a future with her. I asked, "do you want to unofficially get engaged?" "pwede naman".

8AM arrived, and the folks left. As her class and my work was coming closer, she asked for the wifi password. I said I'll give it only after she tells me something new. She spent some time thinking and finally muttered, "I'll marry you if you give me the password." So I gave her the password.

As I worked, and as she attended class, we were "fooling" around in between. Around 12PM during my lunch time and during her afternoon class, I laid on her lap. She played with my hair and held my hand. I actually fell asleep. It was peacefull./ Later that night I asked her what her highlight of the jam packed day was, and she said it was that moment.

Because it was comfy, I proceeded to work downstairs, beside her. When she wasn't busy, we fooled around too- this time she was on top. She gave me head too. The thing was... I noticed that our things were red... we were both sore. So I guess that six times was enough.

After her class, she showered, and we watched the first act of 42nd Street. At 5PM, we left my house and went to Guildford Mall to eat and grab Divine's keys. Surprise, we shared Chinese food again. After eating, we went to the house, grabbed her stuff, dropped off the keys again, and drove to Tsawwassen.

As we arrived, we parked outside the house and talked. We had a full review of the day, and realized how much fun we had together overnight. We both agreed that we should do it again.

Finally, I dropped her off, used the washroom, and said my "see you laters". She walked me back to my car. Upon walking, we saw the full moon. I took a picture of it- she said that it's the memory of us being unofficially engaged (I'll never delete that photo). As I was driving home, we were on FaceTime.

Folks, Lea Joy is something else. Being with her brings me at peace. I do easily see a future with her, I just hope that she sees that too.

[allthingslea]

September Recap

Oh my, September was a rollercoaster of emotions. There were definitely some ups and some downs, and a lot of learnings and memories to go along with it.

September 2nd- We were invited to a gala along with the Ferrer family. We were both dressed up, matching! The event was fun, there were lots of food, people, and prizes. At first I was surprised that I was invided to that event when I had no business there at all. Yet, there I was, and I kind of felt like family.

September 6th- I felt sick. Turns out, I tested positive for covid. boo. The thing that sucks the most is that we would have been watching Joji on Sept 7th. We were so looking forward to that too because it would have been Lea's first concert, and we would be going with my coworkers. However, yup, I got sick, so I sold my tickets to Jimmy. From September 6th until I got better, Lea stuck with me to keep me company. I guess that took a toll on her and I needed her too much to a point where on Thursday, September 15, she wanted to talk in person, seriously.

September 15th... I picked her up after work, and there was this uneasy, heavy tension. She kissed me like normal, she hugged me like normal, but there was a different look in her eyes. She had something to say, but she couldn't say it. So we drove to Tsawwassen Mills parking lot to talk. We arrived, and sat at the back seat. I asked her what's on her mind, and she says that she wanted to break up. "One thing is for sure, I love you. But I think it's unfair," she said. She says it's unfair because for us two and for people on my side, we are in a relationship, but with her family, it's complicated- and I suppose this is bothered her a lot. I said that's okay for me, that we just need to hold on until she finishes school. But she kept insisting that it felt unfair. I tried my best to comfort her, but her face was sunk and sullen. I told her, "let's not break up. Let's give it some time, go to church on Sunday, then we'll talk. Okay?" And she agreed. The moment was tense and emotional, that, well, I cried. Hard. I gave her a tight hug while tears were coming down of my eyes, and she started crying too. We both cried for a few minutes, until we got interrupted by Ate Malou's call, asking where she is, because they still have a party to go to that evening. After the call, we both hurried, and I drove and parked at a park near her house. We both agreed and promised not to break up yet, and meet up and talk on Sunday, while I would give her some time and space to think. As I dropped her off and she started walking, she gave me a call, thanking me for meeting up with her. We stayed on the phone until she got to the house. During my drive home, my head was full of thoughts, and scenarios were competing with each other. When I got home, I didn't want to go to my room yet, so I walked to the church. I was hoping to pray, but ironically, there was a wedding. Instead, I walked at the oval. Throughout my walk, Lea was at the party. I conditioned myself that I wouldn't talk to her much and wouldn't hear from her for a while, yet when I message her, she instantly replies. That night, we talked all night past midnight. Same thing with Friday and Saturday night. Like I said, I was prepared to give her all the space she needed, but all of Friday, we were on FaceTime while I was working from home and while she was doing online classes. Friday afternoon, she mentioned that she had a talk with her classmate Donna, and she realized what made her upset. Lea typed it out and sent it to me, and we would go over it on Sunday. Perhaps I will add that at the end of this entry. During the time between Thursday to Sunday, for some reason, it felt like a reset- just like the times when we were still talking. We laughed a lot, we talked a lot, and we enjoyed each other's presence. Sunday morning, I picked her up and drove to the church. We were a little early so I asked if she wanted to talk in the backseat. We both noticed that in the past few days hat we planned to have space between us, we got closer to each other instead. We went over and discussed the long message she sent me about her feelings, and we both agreed on compromises. It is true, we both love each other dearly, it was just a stressful time. At the end of the day, proper communication kept us together.

During the same day, things actually got steamy in the backseat. We have been trying for a while, but it just didn't go in. But that day, it did. Since then, it has been a common thing when we meet. September 22nd was when we actually got comfortable, and September 29th was touching- fireworks happened on both sides at the same time.

Anyway.

It is true when they say that it takes one to get lost, to be found. It takes something to be taken away for one to realize its true value. Lea and I are witnesses to this. We almost lost our relationship, but because of that we are closer to each other than ever before. I pray that moving forward, we only get closer to each other.

---------------------Lea's thoughts are below---------------------

Love, the thought of breaking up with you really started Wednesday night. Kasi nga I had a realization that I can’t fully commit dun sa relationship na meron tayo. And that it would be very unfair to you and sa sarili ko din.

You know I’m new to this relationship thing. I’ve never let anyone in my life, just you. So I dont have any idea what I want or don't want in a relationship. This is all new to me.

Before meeting you, I really like being alone. When I met you, I realized that having someone beside me is as enjoyable, if not better. But these past few days, I miss being alone. I realized that alone time was necessary for me. It’s some sort of a recharge hehe.I understand that you needed company when you were sick and I am so glad that it was me you wanted. But I don’t like that I am on the phone with you all the time. THE REASON IS BECAUSE I feel bad when I can’t respond to you nor when we don't really talk. I also realized that I get to talk less with my family in the Philippines. I need alone time (all by myself talaga) to recharge, too… I badly need it for my mental health. I understand that you really needed company and I’m sorry kasi sa state ko ngayon, di ko lagi maibibigay yun sayo.

Location sharing? Hmm, that’s okay with me naman. I understand your side. I am the type of person that does not usually send/text updates on where I am going. but I think it’s taking a toll on me. Nung di ko naon mobile data ko, you called me. At the time, I was laughing at it. But then lately, it dawned on me that what I wanted is a partner and friend, and not a parent.

Communication? I think at first, that is what we are best at. Thank you for always being honest with me. I try my best to communicate better with you pero ganun talaga, siguro sa sulat lang ako magaling. OH that’s why I need alone time, too. So that I can filter out my thoughts. But I find myself recently not telling you everything that is on my mind. And It’s making me so sad.

Love, I think you’re really an INFJ-A as in ASSERTIVE. Lol kasi gagawin mo talaga kung ano sinasabi/gusto mo eh. I admire you for that. But there were times that I hoped you were less like that. Yung sa paghatid sakin sa bahay nung holiday (one Monday). I told you na wag mo na lang ako ihatid. I think that was the start actually.

I think another thing that bothers me was when you decided to go to the Blackpink concert with Sam. I’m 101% okay with that and I support you because you love BP and for the first time, may mahihingan ako ng exclusive videos ng concert ng BP. HAHAHA But I also had a realization when I talked with Mariel, she asked me bakit di ako nagseselos. And I told her na with all the things that my dad did, I have this notion that if a guy decides to cheat, then I can’t do anything about it. No one can prevent it. And besides that, it will never be my fault. And I trust you. She was your friend even before you met me. I told her that. But then Mariel asked me, too, kung tinanong mo ba ako kung okay ako dun. And I said, yes, you did. But then I realized din na maybe that text you sent me was just to inform me na pupunta ka with just her. I think what bothers me really is how we communicate now. I am not being 100% honest either.

Most importantly, I feel so much guilt from all the lies I’ve said. I can’t keep lying to my family. At this point, guilt is eating me alive.

The bottomline is I’m starting to doubt my decision to start a relationship right away. I think I went too fast. Cause when I said yes to you, the only thing on my mind that time was I want to be with you and that I love you. But since I am new to this, I realized that for a relationship to work, hindi lang dapat love. You must be ready to fully commit everything. And I can’t promise that just yet.

What I really wanted? To be honest, I want to play out what we keep on saying, what my family, and what your parents are saying - that we are bestfriends/ friends. But that would mean, we’ll end up the relationship that we have. There would be changes. and that would be unfair to you…

so yun talaga ang nasa isip ko.

[allthingslea]

Chilliwack Lake Camping

Hey all, here's a big dump of what happened during the days of August 24-28. A lot of things happened, mainly actual camping.

Wednesday August 24

-took last minute PTO

-went with her to get xray done

-gave her a tour of my house afterward

-went to Tsawwasen, bought a promise ring. lady asked how long we've been together, I panicked and said one year! in actuality, it's only been a little over a month

-slept over

Thursday August 25

-woke up, got ready, picked up Cherry, drove to camp site

-during drive, finger, hand, head

-we were ahead, so gave head while waiting

-no wifi, electricity, showers

-pitched tents

-since no reception, wanted to drive back to update parents- yanna joined in, ruined the mood, looking forward to more secret time, drove out like a maniac, drove back peacefully

-walked around, went to beach

-night time laid a mat and watched the stars- again, yanna joined and ruined the mood

-went to bed, scary stories

-agreed to wake her up if I wake up early to walk around

Friday August 26

-woke up early, woke her up, brushed our teeth and walked to the beach

-quick head and hug facing the view- quiet and peaceful

-went back to camp, had breakfast

-lounged around the whole day

-afternoon took a nap

-started raining, pitched shelters

-hard time pooping

-At night, Ferrers were talking under the shelter, whereas Lea and I talked inside the canopy- talked about past MUs, alone time, and other things

-slept kinda early, slept really well

Saturday August 27

-for some reason, we both woke up at the exact time in the middle of the night, 3:50. I looked at her and she looked at me and we both indicated to use the washroom

-went to use the washroom. peed in front of her, and vise versa

-went back to bed

-woke up, brushed teeth, had breakfast

-packed up, took down tents, "couple couple"

-after all was packed up, went down to the beach for photos. "couple couple" again... photo "parang mag-on"

-drove home- on the way, went to a salmon hatchery, stopped by for a food truck, and went to a fruit market

-Lea bought strawberry jam and corn for my family

-dropped off Cherry, took stuff out of my car and put it in Edmar's, and had nanay and yanna as passengers

-drove back to Tsawwassen

-took a shower, same with Lea, then asked if she wanted to go to "Tsawwassen Mall to go shopping for gala night"

-chill in my car for an hour and a bit- head in, bleeding and pain afterward

-went back home, ate malou noticed the blood, Lea mentioned irregular menstruation- phew

-got invited to come to an event then to ate tet's house

-went to a festival in ladner- live band, too cold, she wore my sweater, seemed low energy and quiet because of pain because of chill session

-went to ate tet's house afterward, ate food, talked, we both were very tired

-went home around 9:30, watched Tinder Swindler, cuddled, lay on her lap, talked, also quick hand and head

-brushed teeth together, and slept immaculately

Sunday August 28

-woke up at 7AM, showered and got ready

-had breakfast together and drove back to surrey

-quick car chill before going home

-got home, while I was changing, she chatted with mom and she saw some of my baby pictures

-went to church, after church went to Sushi California

-she forgot her allergy medicine so I drove to pharmasave to buy reactine

-ate food, was really full

-went to metrotown, bought clothes for gala night

-went home, watched a movie, had some snacks

-6PM, drove back to Tsawwassen, quick chill session in car, but going easy cause still painful

-after an hour, drove her back to Ferrer residences. They had visitors over- Vince was there

-had dinner quickly, then left

-phone call from drive home until 10PM when I slept

[allthingslea]

Backyard Camping

Hey friends, how are y'all? A lot of things have happened the past couple of weeks so I'm just going to to put bullet points on what happened on those dates. On August 18-20, we did a mock camping trip at the Ferrer's old house. They have a massive backyard! On Thursday and Friday, I still worked whilst "camping". Here are some highlights.

8/18

-Lea stayed at the Guildford house that night. I was supposed to pick uer up at 8am but did at 7am.

-chill at Tsawwassen Mills parking lot, had some ice cream, finish. She had her period, so we didn't do too much.

-After chilling, we went to the Ferrer House, where I worked for the day.

-After work, went to old house, set up tents, ate food steal looks as usual. Nothing suspicious here.

-Whenever we needed to use the washroom, we are together, we steal kisses whenever no one can see us.

-Night time, I shared a tent with Lea and Yanna.

8/19

-I worked for the whole day of Friday (outdoors, at the canopy or just sitting at a lawn chair)

-still stole kisses here and there, whenever no one is looking

-after work, they had some friends over. Specifically Ate Chiristine and Ate Tet's families.

-While we were eating, the titas were talking amongst themselves. Lea joined them for a bit to get some salsa, and Ate Malou asked when Lea will "sagot" me, and she said April. I overheard this, and for some reason, I felt uneasy. Lea saw this and got worried, so we discussed and assured that she just said that, but in reality, she wants to make us public in December or January. To me it doesn't really matter, because we are together now. I guess I just got carried away with my emotions that I lost appetite and for some reason I wasn't in the best mood. Lea comforted me through it though.

-A few hours later, got dark, we played Exploding Kittens indoors. She owned me the first round but got karma'd by me on the second round- i stole many cards from her

-Around 10PM, we had a campfire going, and we had some smores. Later, she got cold so I got her a blanket. I was partially covered, holding hands underneath infront of everyone, while sharing stories.

-The adults went to bed, Yanna and the rest went to use the washroom. I guess we both were feeling adventurous. She gave me a quick handjob while there was no one around.

-Yanna went to bed, as Edmar and Cherrie were showering, we went inside the house, she sang karaoke, dry humped too

-Finally, we brushed our teeth and went to bed.

8/20

-woke up, adults have left, only the kids stayed. Had breakfast then talked for hours with Edmar and Cherry- she held my arm infront of them

-prepared, and went back home to drop off some stuff and took a quick shower. Had a heart to heart talk with Edmar. When everyone was ready, we went to Mario's for lunch

-she held my legs underneath the table

-back to the house, talked at the swing, then went to old house to clean up

-dry hump upstairs, went back downstairs, sitting down karaoke where she's nealt in front of me. Dry hump too, with me bare. Finished in her mouth, got overwhelmed, stopped. Continued with hand- best orgasm ever. Twice!!!

-cleaned up, packed up, went back to new house.

-Watched insidious went home

As you can tell, things kind of... got really adventurous. I was hoping to share this blog post to the world, but with the things I say and mention, I think I will just share this to Lea alone. I didn't realize that Lea is just as naughty as I am, in fact maybe more. Just wait until the next post, when we actually go camping.

[allthingslea]

Impulsivity

8/13/22-8/14/22 Oh boy, a lot of impulsive (but great) decisions were made during this weekend. We practically spent two full days together and I wouldn't change a thing. Oh boy.

On Saturday, Lea Joy woke up late to go to work, so I offered to drive her to her work. It took a few minutes for her to reply (she really had to think about it) and eventually she said yes. So in a rush, I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and headed to Tsawwassen. I picked her up, and drove quickly back to Burnaby. As I was dropping her off, we kissed.... and she last minute decided not to go to work. Literally 10 minutes before her shift, she messaged her supervisor that she won't be making it to work due to ocular migrane! And so, she didn't go to work. We spent the whole day together.

She came with me to drop off my car at Clark's Auto Body because my car needed to go in for some work. I left my car, got a loaner, then we drove back to Still Creek because I wanted to go to the gym at work and she wanted to come along. She watched me work on chest exercises- she even tried some. She was so cute! But during rest times between workouts, she gave me hugs and kisses. One time, I was doing incline dumbell presses and during breaks, she sat on my lap and gave kisses. After work out, well... I ended up going upstairs inside.

After working out, I dropped her off at Guildford Mall while I went home to take a shower. I went immediately back for her right after. She recently stubbed her toe and her shoe was making it difficult for her to walk, so I bought her pink Nike slides. At first she was very hesitant of my purchase but afterward, she was thankful. We ate at Kawawa Japanese restaurant for lunch and it was... meh. We had more time to kill so we ended up driving to Terminal station, parked my car, and we took the train to Waterfront Station.

We sat at the same bench and same place where I asked if we could officially date. We rested, stayed quiet, and reminisced. Facing the mountains and the sea, me and her, just breathing it all in. Last time we were there, we were just getting to know each other. But now, we know and love each other. 6PM came quick and we decided to start heading out (since she was pretending to be at work still). Prior to taking the train back to the car, we got some Starbucks. When we got to the car, we headed over to Tsawwassen. It was still early and Lea didn't want to go to the Ferrer residence yet, so we went to the mall to use the washroom (I have the smallest bladder), and also we visited Spencers, where there are some interesting... games and toys. We didn't buy anything. We headed back to the car, talked and hung out to kill time. Eventually, it got late so we made our way to the house. They had some visitors over, so we just got food and ate at the dinner table. Nanay Poy's asado is the bomb.

After dinner and after all the guests have left, we sat at the couches and watched a Filipino movie with the adults and the kids. Lea always reaches out for my hand under the pillows despite the others sitting in front of us. I always have to remind her that to the family, I'm still just a suitor! But she always slips up and reaches out to me or calls me "love" within hearing distance.

After the movie, it was getting late so everyone went to their own rooms. Lea brought me to Jeremy's room where I will be sleeping. I cleaned up, so did she. It was time for bed, but I asked if she had 30 minutes to spare to just talk. She said yes, so we went back to the living room, turned on the television, and talked. We held hands, and snuck in kisses. She was scared and nervous of getting caught, but everyone was already asleep. Something exhilarating also happened that night. She went inside downstairs. But only briefly.

As it was getting late and we were both tired, we decided to go to bed. I went to my room, she went to hers, and we slept- well, I tried. I swear, there's something fishy in Jeremy's room. At 3AM, I heard sounds where the computer table is- sounds of someone typing on the keyboard. I turned on my flashlight, but there was nothing there. I typed on the keyboard, it woke up the desktop- so it can't be the keyboard. I thought it was the hamster wheel but when I spun it, it didn't make any sounds. The sounds started at 3AM and kept occuring so I couldn't sleep. Eventually, around 4AM, I fell asleep and woke up around 7AM. I took a shower and waited in my room until Lea texted her good morning. She went to my room, gave me a good morning kiss, then we went downstairs to eat breakfast. We had more asado and sotanghon. After we ate, I talked with Nanay and she took her time to shower and get ready. I specifically asked if she could wear no make-up, and she actually didn't wear any! Just for me. After she got ready, we said our farewells, and headed back to the car.

I drove to the shop to pick up my car- it was still early so we went to La Foret to get some coffee. We reminisced some more because we also went there during our second "date". After some time, we drove to St. Mary's to attend the 11:15AM mass. Like always, we would start mass saying "no PDA" but when the readings start, she always reaches out to my hand- how could I refuse that. After mass, we had a movie planned at 4PM so we had a lot of time to kill. We parked at the theatre parking lot, I dropped the back seats, and we laid down. Half of our bodies were inside the trunk. We were supposed to just rest and cuddle, but things got a little... heated. I went all over the place, upstairs inside and downstairs outside. Wow. She was also all over the place, going downstairs inside. With kisses. We literally both got drained and our energy was rubbed out of our boddies. We were tired. After about two hours of messing around, there was still an hour left before the movie, so we walked around the mall again.

Finally, it was time for the movie. We headed in, got food, and sat down. Those premier seats sure are comfortable. During the movie, she kept grabbing my hand and placing it on her thigh, sandwiching it with her other thigh. Let me reitarate, she didn't place my hand on her knee- she placed it between her thighs. I was pretty much distracted for the whole movie.

After the movie, she didn't want to go home yet, so we hung out in the car yet again. We only had like an hour and a half to kill, so we decided to just hop in the back seat and rest. But sometimes rest can also be tiring but fun. We seem to like to hang out in the car. She even wanted to sit on my lap, facing me. Me between her. Oh boy.

Let's just say that there was a lot of progression during the weekend. A lot of impulsive decisions were made that has now paved the road ahead. The forecast seems clear and we will get there in due time. Friends, each day that I spend with Lea Joy, I fall more and more in love with her. Each moment that I am with her, I learn more and more about her. And I learned so much about her during that weekend.

[allthingslea]

#1mti

8/10/22 Today, Lea and I have been in a relationship for one month. Can you believe it, I have a girlfriend?! And not just a girlfriend- a sweet, caring, and cute one too!

On the eve of the 9th, we both decided to stay up until midnight to "celebrate". Though she has three final exams today, she still decided to go on Facetime to spend time together. When the hour it 12, her eyes lit up and we both greeted each other "happy one month". I told her that I am thankful and appreciative of her- that the past month has been my happiest in a long time. She says, "I am in love with you" and to me that was more than enough. When we ended the call (because it was time for bed), she messaged that she is "sooooo happy," and she both kept exchanging "I love you".

This morning, we both messaged each other good morning, and she messaged, "You know what, love. I told you many times that I don't like a lot of things about myself. But nowadays, I'm liking myself when I am with you. Thanks! Let's vc later, okay? I love you!" Lea Joy isn't made of many words- but when she says some, they are strong and impactful. I am so blessed and lucky that I get to call Lea my girlfriend. I know we have only been together for a month, but I have a strong gut feeling that she is the one. Please.

So tonight, we will go on a video call again, and I am excited to see her. On Saturday, I will be picking her up from her work and sleeping over at the Ferrer residence. On Sunday, we will spend the whole day together and drop her off at the Guildford house. I am excited to see her in person and spend time together. We just saw each other yesterday but I already miss her.

[allthingslea]

Past Two Weeks

8/9- Today. Hey all, the past two weeks has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. It's been a while since I updated, but let me assure you that it is going great.

Here's a quick rundown of what happened:

7/23 I went to Central Park with my coworkers/friends and she came along. It all went well, we were all laughing and enjoying. My friends seemed to like her, and she enjoyed the company of my friends. There, she met Gian and Quennie, Jimmy and Lindsey, and Ace and Michelle. Lea particularly got along with Queenie since they are both international students.

7/24 I drove her to Tsawwassen where she will be staying indefinitely. There, the Ferrer family lives. She introduced me to them, and they seemed to like me. That night, I felt welcome and at home. Of course, they teased us a bunch, and I got interviewed, but it all went in our favour. At this time of writing, I have been there multiple times already, and I go along really well with everyone. Now, they like me and even ask me to go on picnics and camping trips. At this moment though to Lea's family think that I am just a suitor (though they have suspicions that we are a couple). The reason for this is that her family wants her to finish school first before having a boyfriend. I understand and have no worries about that. Though, love conquers all.

7/31 I brought Lea to church with my family. Then we ate at Mr. Ho's for lunch. My family seemed to like her, and Lea seemed to feel welcome. My parents want her to come around more often- however this is currently difficult to make happen as she currently lives in Tsawwassen. On the drive from church to the restaurant, Lea kept looking at me and Neiah seemed to notice. The next day when I asked my sister what she thought of Lea, she said that Lea is so cute, then she started mimicking the way Lea looked at me. Cute. Mom said that Lea would be the perfect coworker. And dad said she seemed to be smart and enthusiastic.

8/1 Then a fiasco happened. Uncle from father's side (in Guildford where she used to live) seemed to be messaging Lea's mom behind her back about how Lea doesn't help much in the house and all she does is go on dates and go home very late (mind you we go home around 9:30). This caused a rift in the family between the Tsawwassen and the Guildford folks. And mostly, this affected Lea's mom- she even went to the hospital due to stress. Because of this, all of her siblings and her mom have told her not to have a boyfriend first until she finishes school. Because of this, we have to pretend that we are not a couple, and that I am only a "manliligaw". I am fine with this because ultimately, I know the truth. I still receive the hugs, kisses, and affection. When we are alone together, I still get to hold her hand and tell her that I love her. And most of all, she loves me just as much, if not even more. It's kind of fun to be hiding this love.

8/8 I was asked by the Ferrer family to come to a picnic at Centennial Beach. Of course, I came after work (since it's a weekday). I had the pleasure of meeting family friends. They teased us a bunch (because we looked like a cute couple) and they reminisced their youth. They kept saying that I looked familiar- and that I looked like some Filipino actors. They said that I'm good looking, she's good looking, we're perfect for each other! To be honest, I enjoyed the teasing because, well it's true anyways.

And folks, tomorrow is August 10th. Tomorrow is our first month of being in a relationship. We are not meeting up- though I will be driving her home on Saturday, and will be spending the whole day together on Sunday. Man, it's only been a month, yet it has already felt like forever. I am calling it right now. This is it, folks.

[allthingslea]

What's going on in that mind of yours when I kiss you and you close your eyes?

[allthingslea]

Today, Lea Joy and I were together for 9 hours... and she didn't want to go home yet.

[allthingslea]

Poem

7/16/22. Today, Lea had a long day at work. However she still managed to spend time with me.

I picked her up from her work and got McDonald's because she was craving it. After we picked up food to go, we went to Buraby Mountain Park where we set up a mat. It just so happens that we placed the mat on an incline so we keep slipping down. It was a struggle but it was hilarious as we kept trying not to slide. After eating, we decided to lay down, arm in arm.

We talked for quite some time and rested. I promised that we wouldn't do much as she told me she was tired from work. So we just talked and did nothing together. She mentioned that she wrote me a poem in response to the letter that I wrote her. However she didn't want to give it to me yet until I dropped her home.

Time passed, it was getting cold, so we decided to walk around. We absorbed the scenic views and got winded from the uphills. It started to rain, so we headed back to my car. It was getting close to home time so we decided to drive back to Surrey, and parked nearby her home. Once again, we sat in the back seat where we just talked and leaned on each other. She did a kissy face, asking for some kisses, so I gave her some. I also asked for some, and she gave me some. She kept extending the time to go home. She said that her head said to go home, but her heart didn't want to yet.

10:20PM came and I finally dropped her home. But before that, she passed me the poem and I read it. I wanted to read it out loud but she didn't want me to, so I just read it silently. As I read, I couldn't contain my emotions. She wrote this poem for me. This poem told me how she felt about me. And the contents of the poem validated my love, actions and words.

In the poem, she asks "am I worthy to be pursued?" but in reality, she was the one who found me. She was the one who placed herself into my life. I am the lucky one.