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OK SO IT’S BEEN LIKE FOREVER BUT overwatch 2 is such a dumb fucking name. Overwatch is an organization, what’s next ‘FBI 2’.
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some fools be like “i play games to escape my responsibilities” then pick tank or healer
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Quick Play five stack explaining the attack plan to your average solo queuer:
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D.Va: full offense but I'm not going to take life advice from someone who butters both sides of their toast.
Soldier 76: who does what now
Junkrat: do you only put lotion on the front side of your body? That's right! I didn't THINK so.
Soldier 76: Athena initiate self-destruct sequence 5278-
Tracer [clamps hand over Soldier's mouth]: you two idiots knock it off before we all get incinerated. Besides, what kind of monster chooses butter over marmite.
D.Va: ....self-destruct sequence 52789255
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Reaper: I hope you get hit by a bus
Soldier 76: hoping is all well and good but ultimately gets you nowhere. be the change you wish to see in the world and run me over instead of waiting for others to do it for you, you lazy piece of shit
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Mercy: that's it! I will no longer allow apologies that come in meme format
D.Va:
D.Va: this is discrimination I'm calling my union
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Soldier 76: why are you always attacking us with words
Symmetra: would you prefer I used a mallet.
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Mei: how do I tell someone their breath stinks without offending them?
Symmetra [without looking up from her book]: I'm bored let's drink mouthwash.
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Mei: I'd like to phone a friend
Game Show Host: I haven't even asked the question yet
Mei: I know! I just miss them
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Sombra: man I would suck dick for some gummy bears right now
Tracer: is dick sucking the only currency you know of
D.Va: there's another currency?
Sombra: what can I say, it's the only currency that benefits from inflation.
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Reinhardt: true strength is forgiving someone when they aren’t even sorry.
Symmetra: I don’t mean to be dramatic but I would literally rather die.
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Tracer [bursts into the commonroom]: HEY EVERY- wait where is everyone?
Symmetra [without looking up from her book]: missions, visiting family, doing his “best” in Junkrat’s case.
Tracer: oh [peeks over Symmetra’s book] well YOU AND I SHOULD DO SOMETHING. OH I KNOW there’s this place in London, we might get stabbed, hopefully we won’t get stabbed- that’s not the point! [giggling] point, you know cause we might get stabbed. I didn’t even mean to- hey where’d you go?
Symmetra [teleports across the compound]: how does one individual have so many words at the same time.
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Junkrat: soooooooo Christmas in July?
Tracer: [sweating looking at Soldier] I don’t-
Pharah: [stealthily removes the knives from the table] we really shouldn’t talk about this.
Soldier 76: why not.
Tracer: it’s just there’s well-
Pharah: and the calendar says-
Soldier 76: I will allow Christmas in July.
Tracer/Pharah: what
Soldier 76: fruitcake is the only holiday food that can be adequately weaponized. Christmas two times a year is tactically advantageous.
Ana: Hah! Liar. He just wants an excuse to watch those claymation movies.
Soldier 76 [slams fist on the table]: let the elf be a dentist.
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